Ston
Lloyd switched the shower to cold and angled the jets onto his face, if jets was the word for them.
Oh, they were more than adequate to wash with, especially for an onboard bathroom, but as for blasting away the hangover from hell – no chance.
Hopefully Ana wasn’t feeling quite this bad.
At least she’d kept off the whisky, but his one objective when he’d arrived at that bar had been to get drunk as quickly as possible.
Pulling his towel from the back of the door, he rubbed his hair vigorously.
Which did sod all for his headache. What he needed was to get dressed and get up to that galley and drink about a gallon of water.
Right at this moment, he didn’t think anything else would work.
Then as soon as he could stomach it, food.
A bacon butty would be perfect, but in Croatia bacon was different.
He lowered himself gingerly onto the banquette.
Croatian bacon. The morning Mirjana’s father had offered him the job.
He’d been in the konoba the night before for supper and he’d seen her then: her beautiful smile set in her round, dimpled face; her perfect, almond-shaped eyes; her luscious figure.
He’d never have dared speak to her, but then he’d overheard some German lads planning to leave without paying, so he’d tipped her off.
And the next morning she’d been on the beach, waiting for him after his swim, inviting him to breakfast. Bacon and eggs.
Except the bacon had been raw. Of course, now panceta was fairly commonplace, but back then in England everyone thought that pork had to be cooked to within an inch of its life or it would poison you.
Mirjana had noticed him pushing it around his plate and when he’d explained, her father had whisked it away and grilled it, leaving them alone at the table, him completely tongue-tied in front of this beautiful girl.
Then, when Zoran came back, he’d offered Lloyd a job for the summer, and of course he’d accepted.
It should have been such a happy memory, thirty-odd years on.
First love and all that. But the way it had ended …
and now it seemed it hadn’t ended at all.
Not for Mirjana. He still couldn’t get his head around why she’d lied to Kristina about him; it didn’t fit with anything he knew about her.
Yes, at the time she’d had every right to be disappointed in him – angry even.
And she had had a quick temper – he’d witnessed some absolutely blazing rows between her and Kesten – but he’d never known her to hold a grudge, or be anything other than completely honest.
People changed, or maybe life changed people. Lloyd hung the towel back on the door, and started to dress, his head thudding every time he moved. So he sat down again, T-shirt balled between his hands.
He didn’t think he’d ever been actively hated before.
Last night, in the whisky-induced haze and relief that Ana had finally believed him and wasn’t going to sack him, he’d managed to push the thought to one side.
Now it was circling around like a particularly nasty black crow, stabbing him every so often with its beak.
To engender the sort of malice that made someone spread such awful lies thirty years later… ? It didn’t bear thinking about.
And he wasn’t going to think about it. Never mind that it was actually making him shake, he had something more pressing to do, and not just drink his body weight in water. Ana may be happy to let him stay, but Natali had to be too. And she needed to know the whole truth first.
He found her sitting at the table, checking carefully along the length of one of the safety harnesses before ticking it off on her weekly maintenance list. She jumped up when she saw him, Obi skittering to the floor before charging in his direction, tail wagging manically.
“I boiled the kettle,” Natali said. “I thought you would need tea quite badly this morning.”
He crouched down carefully, trying to stop his brain from knocking too hard against his skull, and tousled Obi between her ears. “I was in a state, wasn’t I?”
“You both were. I haven’t even seen Ana yet. B-but I was so very glad you’re friends again. What she said to you … what she did … it was awful.”
“And you need to understand why she did it, so sit back down.” He straightened, feeling closer to seventy than fifty-three as his knees cracked. “I’ll get some water. I can’t face tea just yet. I only have a few bags left from the ones I brought with me and I need to make sure I enjoy them.”
He ran the water until it was cool over his fingers, then filled a pint glass, forcing himself to drink half of it before topping it up and returning outside.
Natali looked up at him expectantly, but her face was so trusting that somehow he couldn’t bring himself to sit next to her, so he propped himself against the galley door.
“First, you need to know that I’m not a thief. But I did do something bad – very bad – which is why I’m not a teacher anymore.” He took another gulp of water. “I’m afraid I … I lost my temper and attacked a pupil.”
“They must have done something terrible to make you do that.”
Oh, the child’s faith in him. He could have hugged her there and then, but she needed to know it all. So he repeated everything he’d said to Ana last night, while she listened, never taking her eyes from his face.
When he finished she folded her arms. “Sounds like that boy was a nasty piece of work. We had plenty like him at my school. Girls too.”
Lloyd shook his head. “Not bad, troubled. In and out of care, foster homes, never having a proper family … needed medication he didn’t always take… I let him down so badly. Let everyone down.”
Natali stood and walked towards him, enveloping him in a hug, her thin arms squeezing so hard he thought his ribs might crack. “He let himself down. He should never have said bad things about your wife. I bet he did it deliberately to hurt you.” She looked up at him. “People can be cruel, Lloyd.”
He hugged her back a little awkwardly because the glass was still in his hand. “You know that from experience, don’t you?”
“Yes. At school it was h-horrible. I’d have cheered if a teacher had thumped one of those bullies.”
“But you’re OK now?” he asked her. “Things are OK in your life now?”
She smiled. “Of course. I have Obi and I have a wonderful job with lovely people. And anyway, my Auntie Stela always tells me it’s best to be positive, because all manner of good things can happen if you are.
She says it’s karma.” Natali stepped away from him.
“I can hear Ana moving around. I should put the coffee on.”
It was only a few minutes later that Ana appeared in the galley, greeted by Obi’s excited barks. She ran her hand over the top of her hair, which was already escaping from its scrunchie.
“Obi, I love you, but please shut up.”
Natali crouched down, holding the dog’s little face between her hands. “You. No barkies. Ana and Lloyd are feeling … delicate.”
Ana looked at Lloyd and rolled her eyes. “You too?”
He raised his water glass in her direction. “God, yes.”
“A quiet morning, then.” Ana said.
“Shall I take Obi for another walk?” Natali offered. “Once I’ve made the coffee, of course.”
“Coffee? You are an angel.” Ana popped some pills from a blister pack. “I need it to wash these down. Want some, Lloyd? Or have you already taken something?”
It was tempting, but no. Lloyd moved to the tap and refilled his glass. “I’m sticking to the hard stuff. At least until I’m up to eating.”
Ana groaned. “Don’t even mention food.”
As Natali busied herself with the d?ezva, Lloyd took himself outside, perching against the cabin roof in the shade of the fly deck.
The faintest of breezes ruffled his T-shirt as the air found its way between the hills that enclosed the long inlet connecting Ston to the sea.
The water was a glassy blue and the boughs of the trees on the opposite bank swayed gently.
A fishing boat puttered past, its wake spreading fantails behind it.
Something Natali had said was bothering him.
He supposed it was good in a way, that her auntie’s mantra helped her to stay positive, and right now he could certainly use some of that, but for him it didn’t ring true.
He and Jenny had always believed in shaping their own destinies, making plans, taking action, and they’d brought Ruth up to be the same, not waiting for some nebulous cosmic force to do it for you.
But if that nebulous force was the only tool you had…
“I’m going to see Ivana this week to see if I can put this right.” He hadn’t even noticed Ana was beside him until she spoke.
“What will you tell her?”
“That the woman on Kor?ula is lying and Natali saw a pickpocket on Kolo?ep the day the purse went missing.”
Lloyd frowned. “Doesn’t that put Natali in rather a bad light? That she didn’t tell anyone?”
Ana groaned. “Oh god, I’m so rubbish at this. I thought I had finally got over myself enough to do something, rather than just feel horribly responsible yet utterly useless. Why can’t I just make one frigging good decision?”
“You make good decisions all the time, Ana. They come so naturally, you don’t even notice. Like your call to close early at Mljet the day of the storm. Like knowing the best line to take Dida Krila in different conditions.”
“I mean the important ones.”
“Those are important. The most important. They keep us safe.”
“You’re trying to make me feel better, aren’t you?”
They were shoulder to shoulder and he gave her a squeeze.
“I’m telling it how it is, that’s all. Like I said last night, as far as running a project’s concerned you’re on a learning curve, and it’s entirely my fault you’ve been thrown in at the deep end.
But I can help, you know. Offer some advice if you need it? To try to make amends.”
She squeezed him back. “Yes, please.” She paused. “I … I made a decision once, a big one, and although in my gut it was right, if I’d thought about it more…” She trailed off.
After a few moments he asked, “Do you want to share?”
She shook her head. “Not right now. To be honest, I still can’t be a hundred per cent sure if I was right or wrong, so let’s stick to what we can change, huh?”
Ana was right. Look forwards, not back. “Sounds like a plan,” he told her.