8. Chapter 8
eight
M y entire body feels weighed down by the huge choice in front of me and by the mystery in my hands. Life truly can never be simple.
I lift my eyes from the book as a knock sounds from my door.
With a sigh, I close the book and set it on my bed before wandering to my door. I pull it open, and my brows knit together at the sight of Ethan standing outside. “Is everything okay? Did Ares shift back?”
Ethan nods. “He’s back to normal and recovering. I wanted to come check on you.”
My eyes threaten to look back to the book, but I keep my gaze on his. Honestly, I don’t want to think about the book right now. I can only focus on one problem at a time, and if I can be distracted from them all, I’ll take that in a heartbeat .
“I’m just… overwhelmed,” I admit as I wrap my arms around myself.
Ethan reaches out and cups my cheek, drawing my eyes to his. “You don’t have to make any decisions now. I think you need some fresh air.”
“A walk won’t help me escape this uncertainty I feel,” I say with a sigh.
Ethan thinks for a moment before extending his hand out to me. “Do you trust me?”
I lift an eyebrow at him, wondering what’s on his mind. There’s no missing the glint of excitement and mischief in his eyes, and I’d be lying if I said I’m not curious.
“I do,” I say.
When I place my hand in his, Ethan smiles and pulls me out of my room. “Let’s do something fun.”
That sounds like the best plan of the day. I follow him eagerly, but confusion starts to take hold of me when he leads me behind the orphanage toward the forest. I thought we’d go toward the road, but he has something different in mind rather than escaping to town.
“What are we doing?” I ask.
“You’ll see,” Ethan says as he leads me through the trees, guiding me deeper into the forest and farther away from everyone else.
My heart pounds with anticipation as I let him lead me into the unknown. “Ethan?”
“Stand right there,” Ethan tells me as he stops me in the tree line. He walks to the center of the clearing and faces me, his chest rising and falling with a deep breath.
Nervousness rakes through me and makes my throat tighten.
Ethan strips, his clothes falling to the ground as my cheeks flush. He closes his eyes and lowers his head before he starts to grunt and grimace. With wide eyes, I watch him start to shift as his body morphs and forms the large, scaly physique of a blue dragon. His tail sweeps behind him, making the tree leaves shudder from the wind. His wings spread long and wide as he towers over me with large eyes and glinting teeth.
I stare at him in awe, my heart jolting to a stop. I’ve never been this close to a dragon shifter after they’ve fully shifted. I’ve heard rumors and stories about how magnificent they look and how strong they are, but none of those tales come close to the real thing.
I step closer to Ethan as he lowers his head, allowing me to reach out and place my hand on the side of his jaw. The gust of his breath blows back my hair, sending goosebumps along my skin. He’s so… Beautiful.
“Amazing,” I breathe out as I admire Ethan’s shifted form.
Ethan leans his head toward me, almost nuzzling against my chest and lighting a fire inside me. The power radiating from him mixes with my own, charging me up and encouraging me to run my hands over his blue scales as they glisten in the sunlight. He extends his wings and lowers himself toward the ground.
My heart rate spikes when I realize what he wants me to do. “You want me to ride you?”
Ethan lowers his head in the motion of a nod.
I am a dragon rider, after all. I’ve just never ridden a dragon before. With a grin on my face, I carefully climb up one wing and make my way to the middle of his back. I lean against him, holding tightly and securing my thighs around him. “I’m ready.”
Am I really, though?
Ethan pushes off the ground and flaps his wings, making his way over the trees and soaring higher into the sky as I bury my face between his shoulders, fearing I might fall if I dare to look.
A gasp breaks from me as I hold on for dear life. Fear hits me in the heart as I look down at the ground as it becomes farther and farther away. Wind blows all around me as his powerful wings move, increasing his speed as he flies through the sky.
My fear starts to melt into excitement as his pace steadies. Pure adrenaline races through me as my eyes sweep around, looking down at the buildings and trees that have become tiny objects from so high up.
“I can’t believe this! It’s amazing!” I shout as I relax a little, enjoying the view and the bond of our bodies as we become one.
Gently, he turns left and right. And slowly I move with him. In the distance, I can the Slatebanes’ estate, the mountains that lie behind.
Our flight ends far too soon as he descends back into the clearing. He lands on the ground, his hind legs dragging in the grass, and as he lowers, I climb off him with shaky hands and bright eyes, unable to shake my awe and wonder. When I turn to face him, he’s shifted back to human form. Completely naked.
My face burns as I take in the sight of him. His lean muscle. His slightly tousled hair. “That was amazing.”
Ethan grins and nods in agreement. “What a ride, right?”
My tongue brushes across my bottom lip as he approaches me, my entire body yearning for him. “I’ve never done that before.”
Ethan puts his hands on my hips, drawing me closer to his bare body. “I can help you experience many new things.”
A faint gasp leaves my lips as his own teasingly brush my neck near my marking spot. Just as Ares did. The tease works me up, prompting me to run my hands up his arms and over his biceps.
“I should stop,” Ethan breathes out as his hands glide up my sides. His nose nuzzles my neck, followed by a teasing brush of his tongue right over the marking spot .
I can’t stop the broken moan that breaks from my lips. My nails dig into his arms as I yearn to bring him even closer, to submit to him and my desires. “I don’t think I want you to stop.”
“I don’t want you to choose,” Ethan says before cupping my face, “but that doesn’t mean I can’t kiss you and show you how badly I want you to be mine.”
My eyes flutter shut as he kisses me hard, our lips melting together. I lean into him, nearly shuddering with need as his erection presses against my lower stomach. I slide my hands over his shoulders and up the back of his neck.
Ethan holds my lower back, keeping me flush against him. He kisses me until we’re both breathless, reeling from the intensity of our need.
“Be honest with me. Have you felt this way for any other dragon shifter? Besides Ares.”
I open my eyes, gazing up into his. His concern is evident in his voice. “You and Ares are the only dragon shifters I’ve been around, other than Zorn, but I believe I can’t feel this with anyone else.”
Relief glimmers in his eyes as he nods. “I hope so.”
I realize that he’s struggling with as much uncertainty and desire as I am. I can only imagine that Ares feels the same way since I can’t give them an answer yet.
Ethan peers toward the direction of the estate, his jaw tensing.
“What is it?” I ask him as he draws away from me.
“We should go back,” Ethan replies.
I swallow. “Okay.”
Ethan sighs and shakes his head. “You drive Ares wild in a way that he can’t fully control. That will only change when he has claimed you.”
As worried as Ethan is about me, I trust Ares. I don’t believe he’d ever do anything to hurt me. “I understand.”
“He’ll sense me on you,” Ethan warns me.
“I… I’m not choosing.” How can I make the right choice when I’m kept from being around them both?
Ethan holds my gaze for a few moments. “I don’t want you to choose.”
My brows draw together as I notice the glint in his eyes, the same one he had when we shared a meal together. Is there something I’m missing?
“He can be unpredictable,” Ethan says as he gathers his clothes.
A smile tugs on my lips. Life itself is unpredictable, but if I shy away from the unknown, I’ll miss out on everything.
I’ll miss out on finding myself, and I think a part of that lies in these two dragon shifters and the wave of feelings that they make me feel.