22. Chapter 22
twenty-two
“ I ’ve been weak all my life,” she whispers. “I want to be strong.”
My insides twist. Shame claws up my throat. “I’m sorry, Rodi,” I rasp. “I never saw it like that.”
She leans against me, her voice muffled. “I have no one here but you guys. I don’t want to be weak and alone anymore.”
“You’ll never be alone again,” I assure her.
“Ares.” She pulls back, her gaze searching mine. “I want to explore who I am without being stuck between you.”
“Fine,” I say, the word gritty on my tongue. “Keep training with Grayson.”
“Anything to make it easier?” she asks, her voice softer.
My throat tightens. “ Reject Ethan.”
Anger flashes in her eyes, then surprise. “Ares, seriously?”
Shame burns again. “It’d make things simpler,” I mumble, unable to look at her. “He can’t come with us.”
I have to tell her, tell her what I’ve been dodging. “If we stay here in this mortal place, even with our marks, once we die, the curse will sink its claws in us again.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ll remember, like always, but I think you won’t. And we will be lost again. We don’t even know if we will walk this place again at the same time. It’s too much of a risk.”
Her hand on my face forces me to meet her eyes. The anger is gone, replaced by love that burns brighter than any dragon’s fire. “I’ll always find you.”
I swallow thickly as my eyes sting. “Why?” I ask, baring my soul.
Her grip tightens. “Somehow, between all our arguments, I fell in love with you,” she whispers, snuggling into my chest. “You’re my mate, my everything. And I’ll never let you go, even when I sometimes want to strangle you a tiny bit. But you have to hear this. I won’t reject Ethan. I don’t care about the curse or that we have to start over.”
I peel away her grip and lean back. “You might not remember all the lifetimes, all the pain, the wars, the losses, but I do, and I don’t want to do that ever again.”
“Ares,” she whispers as I get to my feet.
“I understand what you’re saying. But you have to understand. If we stay, you curse me to live another life filled with hurt and pain. You have no idea how many times I had to watch my Wardens die, my created family, how much blood there is on my hands.”
“Ares,” she calls out, standing in front of me as she reaches for me .
But I step back as her touch now would hurt more than soothe me. “I can never get them clean, not with all that I’ve done. I can’t, Rodi. I just can’t do it again.” I hold up my hand and shake my head. “I can’t. I really can’t.”
My ribs tighten as I walk away from her, not knowing what more I can say. She knows now.
My steps are sloppy as I walk down the stone stairs, brushing my fingers over my cheek as a tear rolls down.
I don’t get the time to pull myself back together, to build that wall back up as my Warden stares at me, worry etched on his features.
“Don’t,” I warn, fearing for what he might say.
His lips stay tightly sealed, and I square my shoulders as the air seems different, warning me about what’s coming.
“Dominion Cedric is here to pay tribute,” Ethan says, his fingers intertwining behind his back as he pushes aside who he is and takes on his job as my Warden.
I grumble, “Already?”
He stiffly nods, and as I reach the bottom of the stairs, I see the black cloak draped over the bulk of a man I haven’t seen in years, a man I thought had died.
“You’re alive?” I ask as my skin prickles from the power oozing off Dominion Cedric.
He tilts his head. “Why wouldn’t I be, Aetherion?”
I briefly glance at Ethan as I wonder why Dominion Cedric wasn’t at the last gathering of Dominions, the Mates’ Convergence.
“If you were alive all this time, why weren’t you at the annual gathering?”
He smiles as he shrugs his shoulders. “There’s no need for those gatherings. I already found my rider. ”
I hum with a nod. “The gatherings aren’t only for that. You know this.” I sigh, adjusting my torn cloak. “What do you want, Cedric?”
“Only here to pay tribute to your rider, the Draconis.”
My gaze narrows as his drifts up the stairs. “She’s resting,” I say as I move past him, taking in his scent. The foul metallic smell is peculiar, but other than that, I can’t find anything wrong, anything that will indicate he’s up to something.
Perhaps I’m being paranoid.
But how could I not, as I know that someday, my past lives will come back to haunt me?
“I’ll wait,” Dominion Cedric announces, and I sigh.
Pay tribute . I wasn’t planning on keeping up with the tradition.
But I can’t stop it, as I’m sure word of my finding my rider has circled the world. I actually hoped we would already be back to where we belong by now.
“You can wait in my office,” I say.
The weight of Dominion Cedric’s presence lingers as I make my way toward the office, my mind still echoing with Rodi’s words. I hope she can now see the heaviness of centuries on my shoulders, how the memories are etched into my very being, and the burden of this ancient curse that refuses to let go.
As I take a seat behind the desk, the worn leather chair creaks beneath me. My scales prickle under my skin with annoyance as Dominion Cedric sidles into my office.
“Next time, send a raven first,” I growl, the low rumble slightly vibrating the shelves stacked with dragon lore.
Dominion Cedric clears his throat, his eyes lingering on the door. “You know the traditions.”
I grumble as I lean back in my chair .
“After my tribute, I’ll be on my way,” he adds.
My gaze falls on Ethan, and I motion for him to get Rodi. The sooner we get this over with, the better. It wouldn’t matter anyway, not when we go back to where we belong.