23. Chapter 23
twenty-three
Rodi
D umbfounded, I sit in front of the fireplace, following the burned lines on the wood, the black coal lying among the flames as I go over what Ares threw at me.
Selfish.
I knew what I was doing when I chose my own happiness above his. I knew I was being na?ve, selfish, and perhaps stupid.
I might not have my memories back—only those from this life, so I can never truly understand—but I know what I saw, the pain in his eyes, the tears that threatened to spill, the tremor in his voice.
I thought he was hurting me, but my choice, my stubbornness, was giving him more pain than I ever thought it would.
Could I reject Ethan and stay with Ares, follow him back to his home—no, our home? Could I put his happiness above my own, even though I would hurt Ethan?
My gaze falls on the stack of books on the corner table, and a smile grows on my lips. I crawl closer as I’m eager to know more.
I grab the top book. Its leather binding is heavy in my hands, and I sit back, flicking through the pages, seeing images of different dragons, their powers and strengths listed beside them.
My eyes linger on a red dragon. My fingers brush over the page, lingering on the words Loyal , Proud , Sacred .
“It’s against the law for an unmated rider and dragon to fly,” I whisper and read on. “If it has happened, the couple has to stay together until they have both found their mates.”
I scoff, almost laughing because of the rule, and skim back to the other dragons, searching whether they have the same law.
A steady knock on the door draws my attention, and I scurry off the floor. Expecting it to be Grayson, I open the door.
“You don’t need to guard me in here, I—” My words die down as I stare into Ethan’s gaze. Softness and warmth radiate from him, soothing the turmoil inside me, but my heart aches as I realize I truly have to choose.
If I choose Ethan, I condemn Ares to the curse, let him be taken and forced to live on in a world and a life he doesn’t desire.
“Are you okay, little rider?” he asks, his brow creasing in concern.
I edge closer, gently placing my hand on his chest as I stare into his eyes. “I am,” I say, hoping he won’t pry further, because I can’t. I can’t repeat what Ares said, knowing that will make it even more real.
His fingers skim over my jaw, carefully brushing over the bruise. “As Ares’ rider, you’re the Draconis of our species,” he starts, and I nod, aware of that title as Grayson tossed it my way earlier .
“Other clan leaders, Dominions, will pay their respect and acknowledge you as above them with a token of appreciation.”
“O–Okay,” I say, unsure why he’s bringing this up now. Seeing how complicated things are, is it the right time to pretend everything is fine?
“One of them, Dominion Cedric, is waiting for you downstairs.”
My brows lift. “Now?”
Ethan smiles softly as he nods and steps aside. With a small sigh, I place the book on the small high table beside me and wander downstairs, trying to think of what to say as I rub my sore jaw.
The heavy doors to Ares’ office stands open, two guards stationed on either side, and without their even acknowledging me, I step inside. My gaze falls on Dominion Cedric, and this familiar feeling surfaces, making me wonder if I’ve seen him before.
I notice his slick hair, and the scent of metal wafts my way. My stare is broken as Ares rises from his leather chair and clears his throat.
“Make this quick,” he says in warning to Dominion Cedric.
“Of course, Aetherion,” he answers, his voice sounding as nails on a chalkboard.
I shake off the unease, the ache in my heart as Ares moves past me without a second glance or a single touch, leaving me alone as the doors close behind him.
“I have something for you,” the Dominion purrs, making nausea rise as he pulls out a blue velvet box from the inside of his cloak.
The bow mocks my unease, like a gilded disguise for the unsettling weight in his hand. Hesitantly, I take it, the cold velvet biting into my palm.
His grin widens as I peek inside. Nestled on crimson silk, a single gold rose shines up at me .
It’s too perfect, too flawless, like a sunbeam trapped in amber. Like what you imagine a beautiful rose to be when you are asked to imagine the perfect rose. It’s a little unnatural, I must admit.
Its cloying scent, heavy with an artificial sweetness, fills the air.
“An eternal rose,” he croons, his voice sending another shiver down my spine. “I know about you and Ares. Your past.” His words hang heavily, hinting at secrets he shouldn’t possess. Especially since I don’t believe I know it all. “I had it made just for you. Every petal, every sepal, even the dewdrops you see on it, are crafted to last a lifetime, just like your… bond. ”
As my fingers brush over the rose, a thorn snags my skin. A single bead of blood wells up, the smell metallic in my nose. Dominion Cedric quickly extends a silk handkerchief, and I cautiously take it.
“Thank you,” I manage, my voice tight with unease. This gift feels like a gilded cage, a twisted mockery of something sacred.
He leans in, his eyes glinting with something that makes my skin crawl. “I hope you’ll give it a special place,” he murmurs, his breath warm against my ear.
Then, with a final smile that chills me more than the winter wind ever did, he turns and strides out of Ares’ office, the velvet box feeling like a burning brand in my hand.
Even the echoes of the prick won’t leave me.
As heavy footsteps crawl closer, I peek up. Ares won’t meet my gaze, and the unsettling silence makes Ethan glance between us.
“He gave me this,” I say to Ares, shoving it against him, forcing him to take it from me.
He grunts, his fingers grazing mine as he takes the box, but no words fall from his lips. Only the pain in his eyes remains.
“I have an idea, one that can give us both what we want,” I say .
Ares sighs and walks over to his desk, tosses the box on the mahogany surface, and takes his seat. “There is no way out. I already explained it.”
Ethan’s brows creases. “You told her you wanted to go home, didn’t you?”
“It’s not about wanting to go home. I don’t want to repeat my lives here.”
Ethan steps closer, and I shake my head. “Ethan can’t come, right?” I look at Ares, and he silently nods.
“He’s a mortal. He can’t live in the Godlands.”
“What if we stay here, live our lives together, and when the time comes, you and I go back home ?”
“You’re leaving me?”
“Not really, it’s more… it…”
“She means once you’re dead,” Ares flatly interjects.
Ethan huffs, crossing his arms. “Who says I’ll die first?”
A wicked smile curls on Ares’ lips. “I can come up with a few reasons,” he taunts.
I push at Ares’ arm, flashing him a warning look. I don’t want any harm to come to Ethan, but it does make me sad to think of his dying before us.
Even the thought sends a jolt of pain into my chest, the ache radiating as I frown. “It’s not a perfect plan, but it’s the best one I can think of. I’m not ready to leave this world. To leave Ethan.”
Ethan smiles at me, looking like he wants to reach out to me, but he decides against that because of Ares’ stony face. “I want any big decision to be your choice, Rodi. It’s your life. Your heart.”
I turn to Ares with a hopeful look on my face. “I care for you. Both of you. This way, I can spend as much time as possible with both of you. ”
Ares holds my gaze for a few seconds with a clenched jaw before peering at Ethan. “We cannot predict the timing of his death. He may die in forty years. Or a hundred years. Even tomorrow.”
“I won’t die tomorrow,” Ethan grumbles, shooting Ares a pointed glare before it slowly softens. A glint moves through his gaze, one that feels similar to the one I’ve seen before, that small bit of longing in his eyes when he looks at me. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Ares?” I ask him. “Please.”
He won’t look at me. Neither does he meet Ethan’s penetrating gaze. “I need to think about it,” he murmurs, drawing away from me again. “Give me some time to think.”
As Ethan’s shoulders slump, he edges closer to me, resting his hand on my lower back as he nudges me to the door. “Come on. Let’s give him some space.”
I plant my feet at first, worry gleaming in my eyes as I watch Ares turn away from me. He’s so terrified of losing me that I can feel the fear rolling off him in waves, but if he could just see what I see, he’ll never be alone again.
Ethan manages to escort me out of the room and take me upstairs, silence lingering between us until he shuts the bedroom door behind us. “I’m sure he’ll come around.”
I turn to face him, my eyes stinging. “Will he, though?”
Ethan sighs and sits down on the edge of the bed, patting the mattress to motion for me to sit down next to him. “I’ve known Ares for a very long time. It may not seem like we’re close at times, but we grew up together. I’ve seen him at his worst, and he’s seen me at mine.”
I nod as I listen to him, hoping to hear something promising in his words. I wish Ares would actually act like he’s close with Ethan because he keeps threatening his own Warden at every turn just for being close to me.
“He has a bigger heart than he admits, but that also makes him more protective. Fiercer,” Ethan explains. “He’s also protected me multiple times.”
“He threatens you all the time now,” I mutter as I lower my eyes.
Ethan chuckles as he tilts my head up with his forefinger under my chin. “Because you’re the most important person in his life.” He pauses, and I wonder if that hurts him somehow. “I understand why he’s so protective of you, even if it upsets me.”
“I have to commend you on your patience,” I say. He’s been so level-headed throughout all of this, which also shows me how much he cares about me. He’s willing to go through all this tension for me.
“Anything for you, for us,” Ethan says as he takes my hand and kisses the top of it. His lips send a shiver through me, making him smile.
There’s a flush of heat that rolls through me, but I’m so drained from today. “Can I ask you something?”
Ethan’s face softens. “Of course.”
“Do you have feelings for Ares?”
His body stiffens as he blinks a few times. “I care for him, love him as a brother.”
“That’s not what I mean, Ethan.”
He peels his eyes away from me. “Ares and I aren’t together like that.”
“Were you at some point?” I ask, my voice soft.
He swallows and his lips stay pressed together.
I sigh, pulling him with me as I lie back on the bed and inch closer to him. “It would be okay if you did, you know, like him like that,” I whisper without looking at him as his warmth envelops me .
He still doesn’t say anything. His fingers brush over my skin, and slowly, my eyes flutter shut as I fall into his comfort.
Hopefully, Ares will come around, but only time will tell.