44. Chapter 44
forty-four
S weat gleams on the crown of my head as I pant to try and catch my breath, frustration making my jaw clench. “This isn’t working.”
“You’re not trying hard enough,” Ripley insists as we stand across from each other in a small clearing.
After spending a few hours traveling some more, Ripley suggested that we stop and train for a little while. Practicing my power is important for what’s to come, but it’s not so simple. I barely even know where to start to conjure it.
“Don’t say that. I am!” I bite out the words sharper than intended. With a shake of my head, I suck in a deep breath and sigh, trying to get myself to calm down. “I’m sorry. I just don’t know where to even start. There’s a feeling that I get when I’m about to use my power, and I’m not feeling it. ”
Ripley hums under his breath. “Remember the last time you used your power.”
My forehead creases in thought, my mind shuttling back to when Hephaestus was tormenting me in front of all those people. With all of my voice and might, I told him to stop, and he wasn’t able to torture me anymore. I stopped him. But I didn’t even know what I was doing until Ripley told me before we started training.
It was only temporary. It slipped through my fingers before I could even try to control it. Somehow, I have to learn how to use it on command.
I need to feel that same growing warmth and power under my ribs. I have to feel on the verge of explosion, and I have to somehow channel that power into control.
Control over other people. Control over my enemies who will try to hurt or kill the ones I care about.
In those grave moments when we’re inches from death, I need to be able to hold my own and protect others. I can’t always be the one protected.
“I remember.”
“Try to conjure that feeling. All of those emotions.”
I curl my fingers into fists and nod, preparing myself as Ripley approaches me. When he grabs me, I try to wrestle out of his grip, my heart and adrenaline racing as he tries to take me down to the ground. With gritted teeth, I focus on how badly I want him to stop. How badly I want to come out on top.
A small flicker of warmth ignites in my stomach, tension building within my body. My heartbeat stalls for a second in excitement, and I try to latch onto the feeling.
However, I’m so focused on that sensation that my strength falters. Ripley throws me to the ground with a grunt, knocking the breath out of my lungs as my back hits the ground .
A groan sounds from me as I lose the sensation, feeling weak and helpless all over again as I frown up at the sky. “I almost had it. I just can’t build it up and make it stronger.”
Ripley sighs and wipes the sweat off his forehead. “I think we should call it a day for training. Let’s try to find some water and cool off.”
As much as I want to keep trying, I’m exhausted. I nod and follow him through the trees until we come across a small, running stream. As excited as I am to find moving, fresh water, my eyes focus across the way where there’s an entrance to a cave.
Something stirs in the back of my mind like a light tugging motion. “I want to explore that cave.”
Ripley raises his eyebrow, but he doesn’t question me. “Just give me a moment.”
While he gets a drink from the stream and scoops some cool water over his head, I leap over the creek, stumbling a little as I land. Once I regain my balance, I approach the dark, small entrance to what looks like a sizable cave on the outside.
I can’t pinpoint what it is, but something beckons me inside.
Maybe it’s not the smartest choice, but I head into the cave alone. A damp, musty scent fills my nose as I venture further inside like I’m entranced. Darkness crawls around me, closing in as my sight dims. My heart pounds as a small trickle of light lures me further.
My eyes shift up to see a breakage in the top of the cave. A few rays of sunlight stream into the cave, illuminating the dirt-covered ground and rocky walls. My steps slow, and I peer around as the tug on my mind grows to the point of my head aching.
Grimacing in discomfort, I squeeze my eyes shut, my breath stolen as a faint scene plays in my head .
Me cowering in the cave, hiding from something. Someone? Tears in my eyes.
My knees weaken as I throw my hand out, slamming it against the cave floor to keep myself from fully collapsing as fragments of other memories run through my mind.
The sound of dying dragon shifters. The blood and heat of battle. Everything is hazy and distorted.
“Rodi!”
I gasp for air as my eyes snap open, and my fingers dig in the cold ground as my surroundings seem to move. My arms shake as I push myself up, my thighs screaming as I stand.
What happened?
Heavy footsteps echo against the cave walls, and strong hands grip my sore arms. “I told you to wait. There could’ve been anything lurking in this cave!”
He whips me around, his gaze filled with concern as it rakes over my form. Does he really care about my safety?
“I’m sorry. I got curious,” I murmur, keeping the fragmented images to myself as I focus my mind on my sore body, not wanting him to see what I saw, at least not until I figure it out.
War and blood and fear. I just don’t know the details or the source of my worries.
Ripley sighs, peeling his fingers from my arms. “Some of the smaller wyverns can hide in these places. I don’t want you to get hurt, okay?”
I nod as he scans around. “Come on, we’ve got to get going,” he says and walks ahead.
I stay close as the darkness consumes him and me.
A prickle, a sense, telling me I’ve been here. But that slight prickle expands into fear and dread. I don’t know what I was so scared of.
I doubt Ripley will agree to exploring more or staying here. Whatever happened here in the past isn’t what’s going to help us now.
“Did you see something?” Ripley asks as my pace slows.
“I thought I did, but it’s just a cave,” I say with a shrug.
Ripley hums under his breath, and I wonder if he believes me.
The sounds of birds and leaves rustling become louder as light filters in the narrow passage. My body weighs me down, as if I’m being pulled back, but there’s nothing in there. The faint memories that I saw are the only ones I’m getting, and there’s barely anything that I can do with them.
It almost feels like a cruel tease, a taste of all the things that I desperately want to know.
“Get some water before we go,” Ripley says as he gestures to the glistening stream.
I suppose that isn’t a bad idea. My body aches from all the walking and training, and my mind is suffering too. My hope comes and goes in waves with no stability. Nothing feels stable.
I approach the stream and kneel down next to it, scooping my hands into the cool water and splashing it onto my face. Relief washes over me for a second as the coldness feels refreshing.
Part of me wants to stay by the stream, fading into the brief sensation of comfort that I’ve lacked for so long now. This hell that I’m in feels endless, but maybe the end is our destination. I can only hope that’s true.
Leaves crunch behind me under the weight of Ripley’s steps. I drench my face one last time in the water’s chill and swallow down mouthfuls to quench my thirst.
“Are you ready to continue? I’d like to make it a few more miles before we stop to make camp,” he asks me .
That’s what the past few days have been like. Walking and walking and walking. Making camps. Falling asleep. And waking up the next day to do it all over again with some training here and there.
“I’m ready,” I state as I force myself to my feet on tired legs, my teeth clenching as my body tightens in struggle.
It doesn’t matter how much my feet hurt. How much my body aches. How lost and scared I feel.
I must continue forward, no matter what.