48. Chapter 48
forty-eight
Rodi
M y fingertips and skin tingle and buzz as I gather myself, a stream of memories filling my mind. Combined with Ares’ words, I finally have a full picture of the past.
Ares isn’t the only one who did things that cost hundreds their lives. I had a huge part to play that I didn’t see coming.
They won’t see it coming, either.
“Rodi,” Ares says, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I blink a few times and glance between Ethan and Ares as they crouch on either side of me with worried expressions on their faces. I swallow hard and take a breath. “I could’ve stopped you all those years ago, Ares. I could’ve stopped you from killing all those dragons. The Vermyllion… ”
Ares’ eyes grow wide. “What? What do you mean?”
I drag my knees up closer to my chest as I stare into the fire, memories flickering beyond my eyes. “I was there… by Dragonspire Mountain. I could see you when you were rallying wyverns to fight beside you.”
My heart hammers heavily as I remember him stalking in front of the wyverns, who jumped, shouted, and cheered in rage and determination as Ares worked them up and prepared them for battle. The sounds still chill me to my bones.
I knew that bloodshed would come.
Yet, I didn’t do anything. I didn’t try to warn the Vermyllion. I didn’t try to stop Ares.
I did… nothing.
“You weren’t… with him?” Ethan asks me, confusion lacing his voice.
Ares shakes his head, closing his eyes for a moment in sheer confusion. “Wait, no. I would’ve sensed you.”
I bite into my bottom lip, remembering how I hid. How I held my breath and kept downwind. “I made sure you wouldn’t. That you couldn’t. There’s only one reason a Netherling gets sent to the wyverns.”
Ares pinches the bridge of his nose as he thinks. “Why didn’t you come to me? Why didn’t you say anything?”
I breathe in deeply and shakily. My chest constricts, and my lungs forget how to breathe for a second. I’m taken back to those times when I was hiding in the cave. “I was scared.”
“Of what?”
My eyes snap to his. “Of you. I let you kill all of them and start this war in search for me because I was ashamed. I was so scared that you would hurt me like Hephaestus did because I wasn’t… because I couldn’t stop them .”
Those who used me as a rankless rider, until I had no more use for them when I fell pregnant .
Ares’ faces falls. “Rodi…”
I shake my head and lower my eyes. “You were this powerful being. People were so scared of you. I was in awe, but… I was scared too… Each time.”
“Each time?” Ethan speaks up.
“I found you six more times,” I say to Ares.
My fear made me see life in one way. I didn’t understand how complex things were and how many things I didn’t understand. All I could think to do was run and hide until I felt safe again.
“But you didn’t come to me in any of those lives,” Ares says, his voice cracking.
My heart aches. “I wanted to, but I ran away every time. I was afraid of your powers after I saw what you did to the Vermyllion Drakes. I… I was afraid that I couldn’t give you what you wanted because I thought all you craved was power. I didn’t have any. I was always a simple nobody without a bloodline or any strength.”
“I only turned to power because I didn’t have you,” Ares says as he takes my hand, giving it a squeeze. “All I truly wanted was you.”
I gaze down at our joined hands, my eyes starting to water. I was just so scared back then. If I could go back, I would probably try and talk to him, to calm him down and nudge him toward a different path.
If he loves me like he says he does, he would’ve listened.
“What did you do after that, Rodi?” Ethan asks.
I search my mind for the answer, unraveling all the new memories occupying it. “I figured out where I would come back in the next life and set up a plan. I decided that I couldn’t live every life in fear, but… the only way for that to happen was for me to not remember. To not have my memories.”
“You didn’t want to remember me?” Ares asks as he frowns .
I squeeze his hand and sigh. “I was scared. I wanted a new life where I wasn’t frightened. So, I asked some witches for help to clear my mind, to give me a new start.”
Ares swallows hard, but he nods. “If I were in your place, I would’ve been scared of me too. I was a monster.”
“You were scared too, in a way,” I say before looking over at Ethan. “You didn’t have me, and you hadn’t met Ethan yet. There was no one to stabilize you. Of course, you lost control, and no one pulled you back from the edge.”
“But in this life… we’re together. What changed?” Ares asks.
“I didn’t recognize you. We found each other, and I wasn’t scared because I didn’t remember how you were in the past,” I explain. “Hephaestus’s curse didn’t make me forget you so that I wouldn’t find my mate. I did it to myself.”
Ares looks pained, but I can see the understanding in his eyes. “Do you… Do you still feel scared of me?”
I place my hand on his cheek and shake my head. “Another thing changed. Something meant to bring us together. I didn’t realize it before until now.”
Hope flares in his eyes, and it makes my heart ache. I can tell that he loves me. I have no doubt about that. “What?”
“There was a soul that was always meant to be with us, intertwined with our own. Every life, he had a new face, but he came closer and closer to us with each passing life. As your rage faded, as well as my fear, he finally emerged,” I say as awe fills my voice. I finally have an understanding of my own.
“Ethan,” Ares breathes out.
I smile and nod. “He’s our missing piece, our way to be together and break this curse that has kept us in this loop. ”
Ares looks over at Ethan, who stares at us with wide eyes. “She’s right. When I first met you, I knew there was some sort of connection, but it scared me. It was so… powerful.”
A small smile forms on Ethan’s face.
“Because it’s meant to be,” I say, my fear seeping away and being replaced by a sense of understanding. This is how it’s supposed to be.
The three of us. I was drawn away during so many lives, but this one life is the one we’re meant to share together. I don’t want to go anywhere now.
Ares looks between us. “Do you feel safe with me?”
“Of course,” I tell him as I move closer to his side. He has done terrible things in past lives, but he’s been born anew. His purpose is different.
In this life, I don’t feel scared of him. I don’t want to hide from him. Now more than ever, I want to be as close to him as possible as we navigate the hard road ahead. What is even better is that we have Ethan with us.
“Always,” Ethan replies with a nod.
Ares nods. “I’m going to do whatever I can to make sure we can all stay together. Alive.”
“The curse needs to be broken,” I say. “We can’t go through all these motions again.”
“I agree,” Ares says, “but one problem at a time.”
I suppose that’s a good idea. Between the Vermyllion, the curse, Hephaestus, and whatever else is against us, we have a full plate of issues to deal with. Where do we even begin?
“I’m just glad we’re all together again,” I tell them as they huddle on either side of me. Their bodies burn warmer than the fire in front of me. It’s addicting, and their scents fill my nose, making a heated haze of desire cloud my head.
“I’ll do anything to protect both of you. I won’t lose either of you again,” Ares says as he looks between us .
His words make my heart race as my gaze drops to his neck, following the outline of Ethan’s mark left on Ares’ skin and soul.
“Promise,” I whisper as my eyes flick back up to his.
“I promise,” he breathes.
“Did you… did you complete the marking?” I ask, my cheeks heating at the thought of them being together.
A slight pause as Ares breaks our contact, but still, Ethan doesn’t speak up, as if we both want to hear it from Ares, hear his thoughts.
“The marking, yes. But the bond isn’t sealed,” he starts as his dark eyes find mine. “It didn’t feel right to have such a moment when you were…”
“Taken,” I whisper.
His head drops. “Yes,” he says.
As I follow the curve of every bruise and Ethan’s hollowed cheeks, I wish that they had. “It kept you weak?” I ask what I already know.
“We couldn’t, Rodi. It wasn’t only Ares’ decision,” Ethan says.
My gaze falls to my arms, seeing the same marks on my skin as on Ethan’s. The weakness it brings not to complete a bonding takes its toll.
“And now?”
A slight grin tilts on Ares’ lips as he peeks up. “Now, what?” he taunts, his voice a soft tease, brushing over my skin as heat crawls beneath it. His dragon is calling, luring me closer, distracting me from all the dangers we’ll face.
“You’re getting flushed,” Ethan whispers as he lifts an eyebrow at me.
Gently, I press my fingertips against my warm cheek. “How can I not?”
Ares brushes my hair back from my face, his fingertips grazing against my sensitive skin. “We thought about you. We couldn’t stop.”
“We didn’t want to,” Ethan adds as he places his hand on my thigh. He leans closer and gently takes a strand of my hair, stroking it and sending a shiver through me .
I let my eyes flutter shut as I revel in every single one of their touches. This almost feels too good to be true. Like a dream.
Ethan leans closer. Leaves rustle under his weight as his warm lips graze over my shoulder. His thumb rubs circles against my inner thigh. “I don’t think we could stop, even if we tried.”
Ares hums in agreement as he closes the distance, buries his face in my neck, and inhales deeply.
His lips trail over my skin as they rise to my ear. “Do you want this? Us?”
Familiar heat crawls within me as my fingers tangle in his hair.
“More than anything in the world.”