Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
Dallas
I’ve been texting with Josette every day, but she’s been too busy to get together in person. I know “busy” is code for “I’m freaking out and don’t want to face you,” and I’ve almost gone over to her place to confront her and get it all out in the open several times. I’m ready for this to be done with, and my resolution to let her tell me in her own time is thinning.
I know she’s scared. There’s nothing I want to do more than prove to her there’s nothing to fear. That I actually love that she’s JoeyB. That there’s no online interaction I look forward to more. That I’m so proud of her for sticking to her guns and standing up for herself in that space.
She finally texted me this morning to ask if I wanted to hang out, and I invited her to my place for dinner. And because we’re a bit ahead of schedule, Linc let me take off an hour early so I could shower and get dinner ordered before she comes over. I also straighten up my apartment and make a fresh pitcher of sweet tea.
As I stir the concoction, my mind wanders back to when I first met Josette. How I decided to make tea just so I’d have a valid excuse to go over and talk to my beautiful neighbor. I’m so glad I did that. I don’t want to even consider my life without her in it.
The food arrives––quickly for a Friday night––and I divvy up the chicken tenders and fries onto two plates. I know it’s not fancy, but Josette once mentioned how much she loves it, so I think it’s a perfect choice. Just as I’m setting the plates and the pitcher of iced tea on the table, there’s a knock on the door.
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Tonight is all about showing Josette that I’m falling for her. That nothing she could tell me will scare me off. I want her to trust me enough to tell me what she knows about our Cackle alter-egos. To trust that I’m in this with her. One-hundred percent.
When I finally swing open the door, I freeze, my gaze taking her in. She’s wearing a denim miniskirt with a white t-shirt that hangs off one shoulder. And she’s barefoot. The shirt makes it obvious in every way that she’s not wearing a bra, making me wonder if she’s wearing underwear beneath that tiny skirt.
“Wow,” I say, then clear my throat. “I meant hi . ”
“Hi,” she says with a soft smile, her cheeks blooming with heat.
I realize I’m blocking the entrance as I continue to stare. Snapping into action, I move to the side and motion for her to come in. She grins as she moves past me, then walks toward the kitchen as I close and lock the door.
“Is that Flocker’s ?” she asks, staring down at the plates I left on the table.
“It is,” I say, moving in and hugging her from behind. Tilting my head, I press a light kiss to the side of her neck before saying, “I’ve missed you.”
“Me, too,” she whispers, leaning back into me for a second before stiffening in my arms.
I release her instantly, but keep the smile on my lips as I pull out a chair for her. She thanks me and slides into it, shaking out a napkin and spreading it over her lap as I fill two glasses from the pitcher of tea.
“How did you know I love Flocker’s chicken tenders?” she asks as I take my seat.
“You mentioned it once,” I say, ripping open one of the little tubs of sauce that came with my order.
“I did?” she asks, opening her own sauce before picking up a fry and dunking it.
“Yeah. We were watching that documentary about the cult, and a commercial came on. You said you love these tenders more than you love your sister.”
“Huh,” she says on a laugh. “I barely remember that.”
I remember everything you say.
I don’t say the words aloud because I don’t want things to get uncomfortable. I know she’s struggling with her secret, and me saying romantic shit like that will only make things harder for her.
We talk as we eat, making each other laugh like we did before this Cackle thing stretched between us. The problem is, no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to keep my eyes from dipping down every time she laughs. Her lack of a bra is to blame for my distraction, and the visible outline of her nipples along with the huskiness in her laughter is making me hard.
And my erection is superseding my good sense and my resolve to get Josette to spill her guts tonight so we can put all the cloak and dagger stuff behind us. I don’t like the distance she’s put between us this week, and apparently, neither does my cock.
As we both finish eating, I try to will my erection away while staring into Josette’s eyes. I’m hoping this is the moment. That she’ll admit what she knows so I can assure her it doesn’t change the way I feel about her. She clears her throat, and my heart speeds up as I hold her gaze.
This is it. She’s going to tell me.
“Thank you for dinner,” she says as she reaches across the table to link her fingers with mine.
“You’re welcome,” I say, then shake my head. “But you don’t need to thank me. It really is my pleasure.”
When that last word passes my lips, her pupils dilate and her tongue peeks out to wet her pretty lips. My brain goes a little haywire as my cock swells even more, and before I know what I’m doing, I’m tugging her around the table and onto my lap .
All I can think about is how good she feels and how this is right where she belongs. Her thigh brushes over the bulge in my pants as we kiss, and I drive my tongue through her parted lips to taste her. One hand is tangled in her hair, the other is curled around her hip, holding her still for the onslaught of my attention.
I grunt when she breaks off our kiss, followed by an immediate moan as she latches onto my neck. She licks and sucks at my skin while little moans vibrate in her chest. I tilt my head back to give her easier access, and her teeth scrape across my skin. Goosebumps break out all over my body as the slight sting zips straight to my cock.
I want her.
I need her.
Now.
“Joey.”
Josette freezes, her entire body going stiff and cold. She jerks her head back, and when I look down at her, she’s wearing a stricken expression.
“What’s wrong?” I huff between heavy breaths.
“What?” she asks, her voice high-pitched and thready.
“I asked what’s wrong.”
“No,” she says, her chest heaving as she breathes like she’s in the middle of a marathon. “Before that. What did you say before that?”
“I––” I start, then frown as I pull a blank.
I don’t remember what I said. All I remember is the feel of her teeth on me and how I was aching for more .
“You called me Joey, ” she says when it becomes clear I’ve got nothing.
“I did?”
She wiggles out of my grasp and leaps from my lap so fast, you’d think she touched a hot stove. The fog of lust is taking its sweet time clearing as I try to make sense of what’s happening.
“You’ve never called me that,” she says, shifting her weight from foot to foot. “Where did you hear it?”
I freeze as the fog evaporates, and my brain catches on to what’s happening. I can’t stop my eyes from widening as the consequences of my slip-up become crystal clear. Josette goes pale and takes a step back.
“You know, don’t you?”
I stand, holding up my palms in a placating manner in hopes that she won’t bolt. “I’ve been trying to wait until you’re ready to talk about it. I didn’t want to push you into a conversation you’re not ready to have.”
“How long?” she asks, and the crack in her voice is nearly my undoing.
“What?”
“How long have you known I’m JoeyB?”
“Since the day after you figured out I’m Bodacious Buckaroo,” I say, dropping my hands and slouching in defeat. “You were acting so strange when you ran out of here, and I couldn’t figure out why. I ended up at O’Malley’s the next night, where I ran into Linc and Royal. They could tell I was upset, and when I explained what happened, Royal put it all together. ”
“You didn’t say anything,” she murmurs in a lifeless monotone, and panic lances through my chest.
“I swore them to secrecy because I didn’t want you to have to talk about this until you were ready. And I knew if Callie found out, she’d tell you, and you’d feel cornered. I’m so sorry, Josette. I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping quiet,” I say, internally praying she understands.
“I should go,” she says after a long pause, and my heart drops into my stomach.
“Josette,” I start, and she holds up a palm to stop me.
“I just need…some time. Please.”
All I can do is nod, but she’s looking at the floor now, so I’m not sure she even sees it before she spins and bolts for the door, just like I’d feared. I stand frozen like an idiot, watching as she yanks the door open and disappears through it before pulling it closed behind her so softly, I barely hear the click of the latch bolt sliding into place.
Jesus. Fuck.
What have I done?