Chapter 37
Bonnie
The Xi-Gen building in Vancouver is even more impressive than Acercraft, and I've got a corner office with an actual door. My rank is equivalent to a junior partner, which is higher than my previous job.
It’s the start of my fourth week, and I’ve not been able to muster a sliver of enthusiasm for being here. My week of orientation went smoothly, and my bosses and co-workers have chalked up my gray complexion and perpetually downturned mouth to being homesick.
It’s not Xi-Gen or the nice people here. They’re awesome, they’re just not Acercraft. The whole city is lacking a certain hot, sexy-as-hell, hazel-eyed man who makes me laugh, rocks my world and looks at me like I’m his heaven and hell wrapped in one.
My need for him throbs like a physical ache.
But he cheated. He used me to prove a point that he could get with a different sort of woman than he’s used to. I tell myself I’ll forget about him soon enough.
The tightening and mild cramps I feel in my lower belly tells me the opposite but my gynecologist says the cramps are a normal occurrence in early pregnancy. I rub my still-flat belly.
I shut down my computer at exactly five o’clock. I have zero desire to be here longer than the contract stipulates.
I can at least go home to Ma.
I thought I was making a mistake letting my mom back into my life. It turns out that it’s the smartest decision I ever made. I could never have predicted Ethan pulling the rug out from under me and can’t imagine if I was all alone here.
For one thing, I sure would have starved to skin and bone. And having my sleep cycle this messed up would surely have driven me up the wall.
With the pregnancy, I can’t seem to be able to handle more than the eight hours of work a day, and then, I’m napping until midnight, only to lie awake until morning. My mom has been a constant companion. Making meals, drawing baths, attending my appointments together.
It was nice to be able to introduce her to movies, and now, she’s like a child, absolutely hooked on them. And most of all, she holds me when I cry for Ethan. Which happens a lot. I’d thought she would disapprove of me getting pregnant out of wedlock, but now, I understand that none of those opinions she held were ever truly hers.
She told me that my father cut his “retreat” short after he didn’t hear from her for weeks, and he’s been spitting threats once he found out that she left him to be with her whoring daughter.
Twiggy’s just warming up to alert the media. We thought it best for the masters to return from their exotic vacations, so that when the news breaks, it’s easy for the authorities to pick them up if need be.
My friends are another matter entirely. After texting each of them about moving to Vancouver with my mom, at first, there was radio silence for a few hours. Then, the phone calls rolled in. First, they were outraged that I would do such a thing without telling them. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell them about Ethan and his model. Even though he hurt me so badly, I couldn’t bring myself to smear his reputation in front of my friends.
And finally, in the midst of it all, Ethan texts me after two weeks.
Ethan: You keep underestimating how much I want you.
The need in those eight words is palpable, and I almost start to doubt my own reality.
He was with that model. He’d been seeing her throughout the time we were together. Even before I started at Acercraft.
No, Ethan Hawthorne is toxic. He's deliberate with his words. He prioritizes saying he wants me over telling me he loves me because he knows that being wanted means infinitely more to me.
I’d quickly deleted the message before the words could embed themselves into my brain.
The cab stops at the high-rise building where my apartment is. Exhausted and heartsick, I drag myself out, already thinking of getting to the warm, scented bath Ma would no doubt have drawn for me.
I walk into our nineteenth floor apartment and call out, “Ma, I’m home!”
I see from the hallway that she’s talking to someone, which surprises me. We don’t know anyone here yet, except for doctors and my coworkers.
I move closer, and once I see who her guest is, my heart lurches to a stop, then starts to race.
Stella.
How is that even…
My mom comes toward me and gives me a quick hug. “Yer friend is…interestin’. I like her. I’ll be in the kitchen should ye need me.”
“Sure thing, Ma.”
While speaking to my mom, I notice Stella just leans back on the couch, not even bothering to stand. She’s watching—no, glaring at me. She’s pissed, but I don’t care, I’ve missed her so much.
Ma goes to the kitchen, and I rush over to Stella, beyond pleased to see any connection to my real life.
“Stella! It’s so good to see you. What are you doing here?”
She holds out her hand to ward me off. “What the fuck, Bonnie? I am so annoyed with you. I speak for the entire Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants when I say you fucked up. Big time.”
Oh, wow. Stella is more pissed off than I thought. I’ve never seen her so angry before.
“I-I—had to go to Ireland,” I explain.
“Yes, for your mom, I know,” she snaps. “Not that you bothered to tell us properly before you left. She’s lovely, by the way,” she grumbles.
Stella doesn’t know about my parents. No one except Twiggy and Ethan know, and I’m glad now that I didn’t tell them. It would be difficult to see them struggle to accept her if they knew about my past.
“Thanks, babe. And I’m sorry. I really had to leave that quickly.”
“So, yes, you needed to go see your mom. I understand that, but how the fuck does that lead to Van-fucking-couver? You didn't even breathe a word about having a job offer out here; otherwise, if we’d known, we would have told you that you were crazy to consider it!”
“Sabrina didn’t know? Did Jordan not tell her?” I thought he told Sabrina everything.
“You think if I knew anything about this that I’d let you come here? I mean, it’s a beautiful city, but sweetheart, this isn't your home. We are your home. All of us. Especially that gorgeous, hunky guy who’s head over heels for you.”
“Um, Stella, that’s kind of the reason why I needed to leave.”
“Because you’re pregnant?” she asks.
“How do you even—?” What is she, psychic?
“You know, I’d really like to be able to say I took one look at you and knew from every single one of my friends falling pregnant, but no, your hot-headed friend in Dublin let the cat out of the bag,” she informs me.
“Twiggy?”
“I don’t even know what his name is, but yeah, he all but tore Ethan a new one, so Ethan’s on his way here.”
“Ethan knows?” My face crumples. “Oh, I didn’t want him to know. I didn’t think he’d be happy about it.”
“But that’s not the only reason you left, is it?”
“What?” What does she know?
“You saw him with a woman, right?” She sees the answer on my face. “Oh, the fucking paps. Sabrina was right.”
“There’s this woman he’s seeing, Stella. A model. I think she even has kids with him. Twins.” Hot tears make my vision blur.
“You mean the Czech model who is in his house as we speak?”
“He brought her back from Prague?” I didn’t think my tattered heart could hurt more, but it does. Brutally.
“No, he didn’t. She’s visiting him. It’s practically her home too, babe.”
I can’t help it. I start to cry.
“You see, this, this right here is why you never hide anything from your friends!” Stella exclaims, pointing at the tears running down my face.
“What?”
She rubs her temple like she suddenly has a splitting headache. “You little… Open your ears, babe, because I’m only going to say this once. Ethan’s sister is a model who lives in Prague. That must be who you saw. ”
“What are you saying, Stella?”
“Elsa Larsson is his step-sister. His very married step-sister. Or at least, she will be his stepsister when his dad marries Elsa’s mom.”
“What!” I yell.
“The Czech model is Ingrid’s daughter. Ethan has a tight-knit family, I thought you would have met them. Bonnie, you really jumped the gun this time.”
“How did I…I thought…oh, God. I’m such an idiot.” As I think about the night I met Ingrid, I do remember her mentioning her daughters. Still, one thing doesn’t make sense. “But why wouldn’t he pick up his calls then? I couldn’t even reach him.”
“That’s because his surgery went wrong the first time. Before everything went horribly wrong again.”
“What do you mean, Stella?”
She sighs. “Look, I don’t know the details, but I heard there were complications from the first surgery, and it took almost a whole day trying to correct it. His doctors forbade him from flying because of the pressure in the cabin, but Holy Hotness from Ireland, who also thought Ethan was shacking up with Elsa, went and told Ethan you’re pregnant. So, so hot. I love a guy who can fuck shit up,” she says with hearts in her eyes.
“Stella, save your breath, he’s gay.” And dresses better than you.
“Who cares? He’s my type.”
“What, gay?”
“No, darling, Irish. I could literally hear the accent dripping from that text Sabrina showed us. Imagine if I had to listen to that on a daily basis. Do you think you could hook a girl up?”
“With Twiggy?” I’m confused. Did she not hear the part where he’s gay?
“No, silly, an Irish guy. Although, Twiggy would still be a hot bestie to have. By the way, Bonnie, where is your accent? I’m pretty sure I’d have hit on you if I heard it.”
Ethan hears it all the time. “Oh, God.” I want to start crying again, but I catch myself.
“What did I say?” she asks.
“Stella, what happened with Ethan when he saw Twiggy’s text?”
“Oh, yeah, he got on his jet headed here to extract you from the hole you were trying to park yourself in. Of course, they had to do an emergency landing because his eyes were exploding or something.”
“Wait, what!” I yell.
“Well, not literally exploding, of course, just that he was in too much pain to keep flying.”
Jesus, why did they have to send Stella of all people? But then again, she’d have tackled anyone else down just to be the first to break the news to me.
“Where is he now? Is he okay?”
“I told you, he’s on his way here. Only, his flight leaves in a few days. He can’t take any of the company’s jets, and no one will loan him theirs because it's a suicide mission.”
“Why is that?” I feel ready to kill this woman for dragging out my misery.
“Why? Because he messed up the first procedure by getting on a plane against medical advice, and Jordan had to fly the team into New York to re-do it before he went completely blind. And now, he’s not supposed to go anywhere for the next two months.”
“But you said his flight is in a few days,” I accuse, not understanding why she keeps contradicting herself.
“Yeah, well, I don’t know the exact take-off time; it’s not like anyone tells me these things. They’ve just sent me out here to warn you. His flight could be tomorrow for all I know.”
“No, but it’s not safe!”
“You think he doesn’t know that? So, unless you get your ass out of here and back to New York, your newly blinded boyfriend could be here by this time tomorrow to drag you out. Your choice.”
“But I have a job here!” I protest, but even to my own ears, it’s weak.
“You had a job in New York. And friends. And a boyfriend. And his family and they love you to pieces. You had no qualms ditching us. So, this should be a piece of cake for you.”
“What are you saying?”
“I mean, move your ass right fucking now, Bonnie, and go see your man. Don’t worry about me or your mom. I’ll stay here with her until you return or someone comes to get us. I can’t even think about another six-hour flight without collapsing, anyway.”
Stella starts to push me towards the door.
“Hold on,” I protest, trying to push back against her hold.
“No, babe, you leave now. I’ve assured the girls that I’ll get you into New York or die trying,” she says.
“I–I need my things,” I say in a poor attempt to stall.
“You only need your passport. Ryan’s jet is waiting to take you back. Don’t worry, it’s minus the infuriating man.”
She taps her foot, waiting for my next excuse.
“Um.”
“What, you’re still going to say no?”
Ma comes out of the kitchen, a soft smile on her face. “Siobhán, go.”
My heart starts to pound. “Where is he now?” I know I’m stalling, but I can’t help myself.
“In Connecticut or New York. Why does it matter where, exactly? All I know is that he’s grouchy and grumpy and probably has a spankfest in store for you, so, go and present your pretty bubble butt.”
“Stella!” I blush, remembering Ethan’s threat about what would happen when I returned after running away.
“I speak for the Sisterhood by saying that if he doesn’t spank you, we will. Babe, you fucked up big time. You’re in the doghouse until further notice.” She finally succeeds in pushing me toward my room. “Off to New York you go, girl.”
I get my travel documents and get on the flight, my heart in my throat all the while.