Chapter 38
Bonnie
With New York being a few hours ahead of Vancouver, it's 6 a.m. the following morning when I get in. I know Ethan will be at home, and I’m sorely tempted to go straight to him, but I make myself go home first. I’m exhausted and probably have huge bags under my eyes. I was too anxious to sleep or eat anything on the flight.
Now that I know that he’s just a few minutes away, surely, I can take a much-needed long, hot soak, have a meal, and a few hours of sleep.
I call Jordan on the way to my apartment. I know he’s awake, as everyone has been tracking my journey. Everyone except Ethan, that is. Stella assured me that he doesn’t know I’m coming yet.
“Bonnie! How are you? Are you holding up okay? Not too stressed, are you?” he asks after answering the phone.
“No, I’m good. I wanted to say thank you. For everything.” My throat clogs, and I can’t say more.
“Sure thing, Bonnie. So, are you just visiting him or…?”
“No, I’m back for good,” I reply. Good thing the lease on my apartment hasn't yet expired.
“Great! Bree will be pleased to hear that. She’s been miserable without you. And so has Ethan.”
“I know. I'm sorry I left. I know I upset everyone by leaving the way I did.”
I didn’t realize just how much my friends loved me until Stella confronted me.
“Do you want to come see him in the office, or go to his home later on?” he asks.
“I think I’ll give it time and go later on, just in case he’s busy.”
The last thing I want is for him to be swamped in work and unable to give me the time I need time to grovel.
“Good idea. He’s started working late again, though,” he warns.
“Oh. Okay.” Perhaps I’ll go to the office after normal work hours then.
“Have you said anything to Xi-Gen, Bonnie?”
“No, I haven’t. Stella literally pushed me onto the jet. I feel so awful doing this to them. They were ready for me for two months and already had my apartment and office set up, Jordan.”
“Don’t even worry about it, okay? I’ll speak to them and smooth things over. I made them aware that you had the option to return within three months and you could take it. But first, get your ducks in a row. Speak to your man.”
My heart thumps at the thought of seeing him again. “Okay.”
“Everything is just as you left it. Welcome back, Bonnie.”
“Thank you,” I say before hanging up.
Feeling just a little less anxious, I also conference call the girls, who are over the moon to hear from me, although Stella shamelessly takes all the credit for bringing me back. We let her.
By three o’clock, I’m almost bursting out of my skin. I only manage a shower, one coffee, and a few crackers. I would have had more coffee, but I've been told one is my limit while pregnant.
I’m sure I look like a crazy person, but I know I can’t stay in my apartment for one more minute. The reason I’m back in New York is sitting somewhere in Manhattan, and I’m here counting the seconds until I can see him.
So, I change into a simple black tee instead of the sexy minidress I’d planned to wear to go see him when everyone else had gone home. I take a cab to Acercraft, knowing I'm in no shape to be on a motorbike.
I reach the executive floor on legs of jelly. Will is at his desk and his face brightens in a smile when he sees me.
“Bonnie! Gosh, how are you! It’s been some time, hasn’t it?”
Will doesn’t know I quit. Jordan and Ethan must have kept it under wraps.
“Yeah, I’ve been abroad. Family emergency, you see.”
“Really? I hope everything is alright?” Genuine concern shines in his eyes.
“It is now, thanks. Is he alone?” I ask.
“Yeah, he is.” Then he hesitates like he’s not sure if he should say more.
“What’s the matter?”
“He’s not been in the best of moods in the past… since he got back to work. But I’m sure he’ll be fine with you. More than fine,” he says the last part under his breath, but I catch it.
Yeah, Will knows his boss like his right hand.
“Noted,” I say.
“Also, he has a meeting in—” he checks his desktop “–-about half an hour, okay?”
“Sure, thanks.”
I push open the door, expecting it to be dark. It’s not. All the blinds are open, in fact. This room is my single favorite spot in Manhattan. He looks up from his desktop the moment I enter. And freezes. Then, he cocks his head in silent question.
He's wearing his shirt the way I love it with the cuffs rolled back and the first couple of buttons undone. His glasses are clear, not tinted. I love them because they allow me to see his gorgeous eyes.
I can't believe I haven't seen him in close to a month. It feels like a year. How could I be so stupid to run away from this man?
“Hi, Havard,” I say past the lump in my throat, with a confidence I don’t feel. His perusal is hot and penetrating.
The energy emanating from him is contained and restrained. Only his eyes are given freedom of expression. And right now, they’re tackling me to the floor. Suddenly, the lint on my top is the most fascinating thing in the room.
“Siobhán.”He says in a tone just above a whisper.
Oh, my God. My nipples bead. One word, and I’m already melting into a puddle of need. I know exactly what that word means. It means he wants me. The rest is just details. I grow bolder and meet his gaze again.
Slowly, he takes his glasses off, rises from his desk, comes around it, and leans against the edge with his legs spread apart. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m back. I was given three months to reconsider, wasn’t I?”
“And you’re already running back in four weeks,” he tsks.
“Well, I heard you were going blind,” I snark.
His lips twitch. “ I heard you’re carrying my child.”
The heat in his gaze makes my womb clench. He looks at me like he owns me. I can’t stand it much longer. I know what his eyes are telling me, and I’d like to hear him say it.
I also need to be a big girl and tell him how I feel. No more games.
“Yes,” I finally say. “Although that’s not why I left.”
“It’s not?” He seems genuinely surprised.
I shake my head. “But first, tell me how you feel about this?” I palm my lower belly softly.
He shrugs nonchalantly, but his gaze is scorching. “The same way I feel about you, Siobhán. And you? Do you like the idea of carrying my child?”
I meet his gaze, and I suppress a moan. I wonder if he’s noticed my thighs subtly rubbing against each other. “I love it,” I whisper.
His knuckles around the edge of the desk whiten.
“I was hurting badly, so I did the first thing that came to mind. I was wrong to do that to you, and I’m sorry. I really am. Ethan, I love you so much and I want to be with you.”
He presses the intercom. “Will, clear my schedule for the day.”
I sag in relief.
“And your 4:30 in fifteen minutes?” Will asks, a hint of hysteria coloring his tone. If I weren’t so intent on fixing things with Ethan, I might have felt bad for messing up his schedule.
“Everything, and I don’t want to be disturbed,” Ethan clarifies.
He approaches me, stopping right in front of me. His smell hits me: aftershave and cologne and him. I open my nostrils to breathe in more.
“How long do you want me for?” he asks softly
“Um…for a long time. Like, a really long time,” I answer.
He puts his hands under my chin, then gets right into my face, his breath on my lips, making them tingle. I lick them. It draws his attention, and his eyes zero in on them.
“I’m going to spank you so hard you won’t be able to sit, then I’ll fuck you just as hard so that you will hardly be able to walk. Then, we’ll kiss. Then, we’ll talk.”
I drench my panties.
“Oh, God,” I moan, biting my lip. “I’ve missed you so much—”
He bends down and picks me up, while I bury my face in his neck, inhaling his skin, sucking and biting. I need him so much. He puts me down in the seating area. “Take off your clothes, baby. Everything.”
I scramble to take them off, throwing them over my shoulder in my haste to follow his orders. He doesn’t even check where they land.
Wow. Ethan has come a long way .
Or perhaps it’s the wild, ravenous look in his eyes that’s driving him. When I’m completely naked, I lift a hand slowly and sinuously to cup my breast and roll a nipple between my thumb and forefinger.
His eyes flash, and he rips his shirt apart, its buttons flying everywhere. His torso makes me want to spend hours learning the ripples and cords of muscles with my tongue.
“You fucking sexy goddess. You will be the death of me.” He sits down, his thighs spread apart. “Come here.”
He pulls me on top of him and puts me over his lap with my ass in the air. Oh, God, my skin is tingling already, and I can feel my wetness on my thigh. I’ve never been spanked, but I have a high pain threshold.
I think.
“Will it hurt?” I ask.
“Yes.”
“Ethan…”
“Say stop, and I will. Otherwise, we’re going to at least ten,” he warns, but it’s clear by the desire in his voice that he’s looking forward to punishing me for leaving.
“At least?” I look back at him in question.
“Unless you ask for more.” He smiles wickedly, and the sight of it causes my belly to clench with anticipation.
“Why the hell would I want more?” I snap to try to hide just how much he’s affecting me.
“You can tell me that yourself in a moment.”
He strokes the soft skin of my butt, then kneads softly. My back arches in surprise at how good it feels.
“Easy.” He puts a steadying hand on my back and continues to knead my skin, watching me closely. I pull my lip between my teeth to keep my moan in, but I can’t help but squirm. How am I just now realizing that my butt is an erogenous zone?
“This is such a long time coming,” he growls huskily. “Do you know how long you’ve had this coming? The moment you opened your sassy mouth and called me Harvard. Ready?”
Oh, fuck yes. “Okay.”
His palm comes down in a swift smack on my ass, and I gasp.
It stings, heating my skin. He strokes the area he just smacked, and I instinctively arch into his touch
He smacks me again, harder, and this time, I feel a wave of pleasure in the wake of the sting. A moan escapes me, and he laughs. I feel his cock jerk under me.
He slaps harder still, and I stiffen and squeal. It hurts so good, and the pleasure I feel after the initial bite of pain has me clenching my thighs.
He carries on with the hard blows, forcing more moans out of me. The pain is satisfying, slaking my need for an outlet for the guilt of hurting him, for hurting myself and my friends, for being too weak and forgiving my mom too soon. The intense pleasure that comes after the pain is a reward for owning my guilt and paying my penance.
Instead of stroking the tender, now intensely sensitive, skin of my butt, he slides his fingers between my legs, finding me dripping wet.
“Could you be any more perfect, baby?” he coos. When he strokes my swollen clit, I cry out, so unbelievably close to orgasm.
“Ethan!”
“That’s it. You did great.”
“More,” I demand.
“Bonnie, let’s not get greedy here.”
“Please, I need—”
That’s all it takes for him to succumb to my pleas. He spreads my legs, and the slaps come harder and faster now, with no soothing strokes in between. I’m hyperventilating with the need to orgasm, my core rippling, but I’m unable to clench my thighs together because he keeps them spread apart.
I don’t know how long I’m mindless in that state of pleasure-pain, sobbing with how good he makes me feel. I need to come so bad that I think if he breathed on my clit I would go off. Suddenly, it all stops
“On your knees, baby. I’m going to fuck you, hard.”
He puts me on the plush rug and kneels behind me. I hear the sound of his zipper and I cant my hips high and lay my cheek on the soft rug, my eyes closed and mouth open in anticipation. I feel his huge, hard cock nudge my slick entrance, and then, in a smooth, hard thrust, he impales me, bottoming out. The groan that comes out of me doesn’t sound human.
“Ethan! Oh… God!"
His palm lands on the rug beside me while his other hand encircles my hip, so that when he withdraws and slams forward, he jerks me back against him just as hard. I’ve never had him so deep, and his thighs are brushing against my smarting butt and escalating the sensation. His animalistic growls intensify the pleasure mixed with just a bite of pain as he pushes me to the limit.
Overwhelmed, I cry out. “It’s too much…Ethan—”
“Take it, baby. Take all of me.”
And I do. Screaming. “Oh, my god, Ethan!” Unlike before he's not holding anything back now, unleashing his ferocity on me.
A few more hard thrusts has me babbling incoherently, and then, he slows down, and I catch my breath. He holds himself still while seated fully inside me.
I’m so full that I feel the delicious stretch of my pussy around the thick root of his cock, and my muscles don’t stop convulsing around him.
“Here, you’ll love this, Siobhán.” He moves his fingers to my drenched folds, and he starts to tug rhythmically on my swollen clit.
I start crying out again. My toes cramp from how hard I curl them. He continues until I’m coming hard on his invading cock, my back stiffening and body thrashing. He keeps his arm around me to hold me to him while he resumes the hard, punishing thrusts, fucking me through my orgasm and right into another.
“Bonnie!” he roars, his own climax overtaking him as he spills hotly inside me.
He collapses half on top of me, holding some of his weight on his forearm. He’s still inside me when he starts to drop feathery kisses over my shoulders and back, even my ear lobes. I turn my head towards him, needing his lips on mine, his breath mingling with my own, after the intensity of the past few minutes. He’s big, and I’m trapped against him, his semi-hard cock still inside me, and instead of feeling triggered, I’m searching for his mouth. Because he’s Ethan. My dark, damaged Ethan.
My heart squeezes in my chest as we kiss. And kiss. Still, he doesn’t let me up, not that I’m complaining. Instead, he moves us so we’re lying on our sides and he’s behind me.
When my lips are kiss-swollen and tingly and I’m squirming and clenching again around his now fully-hard cock, he starts to move. This time, slower and not as hard, but it’s just as devastating in its effect. When my orgasm hits this time, it’s so blindingly intense that I burst out crying. Which makes him laugh. I want to smack him, but my limbs are jelly and twitching like mad.
Afterwards, he flips us over so I’m sprawled on top of him, still panting and trembling, enjoying the aftershocks rippling from my core and spreading throughout my body.
“So, baby, why did you really go to Vancouver? The truth.”
I now know the definition of having your brains fucked out because the next words that come out of my mouth shock even me. “Because you didn’t ask me to marry you.”
He freezes, as do I.
After saying it, my face reddens. “Geez! Forget I said that. I swear, I don’t know where that came from.” I can’t believe I actually said that out loud.
“You want to be my wife Bonnie?” he drawls
“No. I mean, I’m not asking for—”
“But I am,” he interrupts.
“What, right now? Like you’re asking-asking?”
“Do you want me to ask you?” he questions.
“Ethan, stop confusing me! Are you asking if I would be interested at some point in the future, or are you asking me if you should ask me right now?”
“It’s not that hard, my love, it’s a yes or no answer.”
“And if I say yes—not that I’m saying yes now because you haven't asked me— but if I said yes, does that mean I’ve said yes? Like yes-yes?” I babble.
“Why don’t we just put you out of your misery and make you Bonnie Hawthorne?”
“I didn’t say yes! I didn’t agree,” I protest.
“Say no then,” he dares me.
I keep my mouth shut.
He smiles like a predator that has his prey cornered. “Bonnie Hawthorne it is. We’ll just need a date to make things official. Very soon.”
I roll my eyes, but I can’t pretend I don’t love the sound of it.
“So, tell me, why did you run away?” Ethan circles back to the original topic.
“Um, the deadline was expiring—”
“I know when the deadline expired, and so did you, for weeks before you left, and you did nothing. Something else made you leave, and you said it wasn’t the pregnancy. Why did you run?”
Yep. I’m cornered now. “Actually,” I say in a small voice, “I found out you were in Prague, not Munich, and I saw Elsa…only, and don’t be mad, Ethan, I didn’t realize that she was Ingrid’s daughter.”
“You’ve seen pictures of Elsa before,” he says, a confused expression pinching his brow.
“Yeah, but Twiggy showed me one of her model photos. She didn’t look like Elsa. I thought she was…one of your blondes.”
“Wow, love…”
“I know, I’m sorry. I should have known better. I was reeling from finding out I was pregnant, and Twiggy is usually spot on with his information. Actually, he was, he just didn’t dig deep enough to see your connection.”
Cupping his cheek, I stare deep into his eyes. “But I take complete ownership of my actions. I should have trusted you because you gave me no reason not to. I love you, and I trust you, Ethan. From now on, no more running.”
“Wow, look at my Bonnie, getting all sappy and loose-tongued over me. We should spank you more often,” he teases.
“Shut up. I hate it, it’s disgusting.”
“What, the spanking?”
“I’m not saying anything else.”
His chest rumbles with laughter.
“Ethan, Stella told me what happened in Munich. About how you got on that first flight,” I say.
He shrugs. “Well, I’m fucking crazy about you, too, you know.”.
“I suppose you know why I left for Dublin?”
“Your mother? Yes, you told me. Stella also called me from Vancouver.”
“So, you knew I was coming?” I question. Here I was, thinking he didn’t know.
“Oh, yes. She called me as soon as you got on the flight here and told me everything. Your mother and I spoke, too.”
I’m not even surprised with Stella at this point. That sneaky woman. I knew there was another reason she chose to stay back in Vancouver.
“So, what do you think about my mom being back in my life?” I’ve been wanting to get his opinion about this for what seems like forever.
“I didn’t think I could love or admire you more, Bonnie. Your capacity to forgive is astounding. I don’t know that if my mother ever came back now, I’d give her the time of the day. And before you say that it’s not the same, it is. Actually, your treatment was worse because I was abandoned to a loving father and a brother. You were simply abandoned.”
His words are like the softest feathers running down my spine. I burrow closer to him, reveling in his praise. I know if he says more that I’ll get hornier than I already am, even after two orgasms.
“Well, don’t speak too soon. That forgiveness doesn't extend to my father or the bullshit Sect.”
I tell him what Twiggy and I have planned so far.
“That’s a decent plan. I should set up a meeting with Twiggy. I’ve also got a few ideas on how we could make this a bigger blowout and ensure that the Sect is well and truly screwed. We don’t want the cult to ever be able to recover and regroup, now do we?”
“No, we don’t,” I agree.
Stella has it right on the money. Having the ability to fuck shit up has to be top on the list for decent husband material.
“Why don't we take this home in the meantime?” I make a small sound of protest as he starts to withdraw. He stops.
“Unless you’d like a quick shower.” He cocks his head toward the adjoining bathroom. “Specifically one where you have your back against the cold tiles, the warm spray on your breasts, and my tongue deep inside you.”
“Well, twist my arm, Harvard.”
“Now you’re just begging for another spanking,” he laughs.
He pulls out of me, then drags me to my feet. I take a step and stumble before he catches me in his arms, sporting a satisfied smirk. I know he’s going to fuck me again in the shower. And I’ll let him. Beg for it, actually, even though it's clear to me that I might not be able to walk right tomorrow.