23 - Olive
I ’ll be right here with you.
I say these words in my head on repeat when a buzzing noise sounds, making me jump. I look over and see Collin standing in the doorway of my jail cell. He’s staring at me like I’m a stranger, which is how he should’ve looked at me the moment I arrived, but he didn’t.
When he saw me this morning, I was his sister.
Looking at me now, all he sees is a threat.
Shep gets to his feet, bringing me up with him. “What’s up?” he asks Collin.
Collin doesn’t look at Shep when he speaks. Those unnaturally beautiful eyes of his are still locked on me. “We’re meeting Penny at the hospital. She said to come right now, so I’ve arranged a helicopter. Let’s go.” He hands Shep a coat that is meant for me, so Shep helps me into it, and then Collin steps aside and waves us forward.
I hesitate, not understanding what this is all about. But Shep takes my hand and gives it a squeeze. “It’s all right. I went through the same scan last weekend. It’s boring and cold, but you don’t have to be afraid of it.”
His explanation didn’t answer a single question in my head. But when I look at Collin—at the cold distance in his eyes—I lose my nerve to ask. Whatever this scan is, it’s going to happen whether I agree to it or not. That’s clear.
So I allow Shep to push me forward and we go up into the church and outside, where I can hear the approaching thumping of helicopter rotors. I’m not a helicopter expert, but this one looks very serious. It’s all black, even the rotors and skids, but it’s got a logo on it so I know it’s not military.
It lands in the center of the compound where I saw men training dogs earlier and immediately, the doors open and two men jump out. They are armed and they are not Collin’s men, but must be part of the helicopter service.
A third man jumps out, and this one is who Collin approaches. I can’t hear anything because it’s all very loud, but it’s clear that he and Collin are old friends because the man smiles big, clapping Collin on the back. Then his eyes shoot over to me. I see some surprise in there, so Collin probably told him who I am, but also suspicion. Because he goes all serious and nods, then makes some hand signals to the two other men, and they approach Shep and me. Not with guns ready, but those rifles are definitely ready. We get nods and gestures to approach the helicopter and then the next thing I know, Shep is pushing my head down and moving swiftly towards the copter.
He jumps in first, then extends his hand to help me up. There is a third armed man inside who directs us to the second row of seats on the right. Shep waves me in, giving me the window, and then he takes the aisle.
The third man starts barking orders at me about seat belts and ear protection, so that takes a couple of minutes, but I’m just barely settled when the door is shut and we lift off. I don’t know where we’re going or what this scan is hoping to find, but Shep’s presence is comforting, so I mostly just gaze out the window at the lights on the ground, shining up in the darkness. Wondering, as probably everyone does, what kind of lives the people in those homes and buildings below are living.
The next thing I know, I’m waking up as the helicopter lands.
Again, there’s a lot of bustling and fussing as the door is opened and we extract ourselves from the seats. And then Collin is telling Shep to exit, and I’m being pushed out into the dark night of a city.
We’re on top of a building, on a helipad, obviously. But we start quickly moving away from the helicopter, so I don’t get a good look at anything until we’re inside and a small, older woman is shaking Collin’s hand. They go down a hallway, stopping about twenty feet away to have a conversation. I try to listen in, but the helicopter outside is taking off, so I can’t hear anything.
Shep places his hand on my arm and gives it a squeeze. “Ya OK?”
“Where are we?”
“Pittsburgh. At a hospital. But the MRI machine is just down the road at the university. That’s where we’re going.”
I have a lot of questions about this scan, but no time to ask them. Collin whistles at us like we’re a pair of his dogs, and then motions for us to follow the woman as she opens a door.
We do, and end up in a stairwell, which we use to descend all the way down to the ground level. Outside there is a car waiting, and it takes us into a university campus and drops us off in front of a modern-looking building.
The next part of the journey involves a descending elevator with a lot of security. The woman, whoever she is, takes care of all that and when the doors open, we come out into a sterile-looking hallway. Here, the woman takes over, directing Collin and Shep down the hallways to wait.
After they leave, she smiles at me. “I’m Penny, Olive. Do you know why you’re here?”
“No.”
“We’re going to scan your brain.”
“Why?” I ask, annoyed.
“Because Collin ordered it.”
“Do you take orders from Collin?”
“Yes. When he’s paying me, and he is. So I’ve arranged an MRI. I’m going to need you to change in here.” She waves a hand at the door closest to us.
“And what if I don’t?”
Penny offers me up a sympathetic smirk, like I’m her clueless grandchild who is testing the waters of authority. “Let’s not do this the hard way. Perhaps you feel empowered because it’s just the two of us in this hallway. Perhaps you think you might be able to overpower me and just walk out of here. I’m old, after all. But Olive, let’s just be clear here, OK? I’m not stupid.” She pans a hand at nothing in particular. “There’s no way out without me. I don’t go to the trouble of setting up brain scans in the middle of the night unless I’m thoroughly invested in the outcome. And my darling, I am one hundred percent invested in this outcome.”
“Why? Why do you care?”
Her smile is tight-lipped and forced. “That doesn’t concern you. Just know that I am.”
I let out a frustrated breath. “I don’t care about the scan. But what are you looking for? Can you at least tell me that?”
It takes her a moment of consideration before she answers. “I can and I will, but afterward. I don’t want to influence you. It’s important that we do this right.”
I give in. Mostly because I figure I don’t have a choice. “Fine. What do you want me to do?”
She points to the door again. “Change into the clothes provided and meet me back out here.”
So I do. And when I’m done changing Penny leads the way into a large room where the machine is. I’ve had a lot of MRIs in my life, so all of this is familiar until I am handed a remote to click. Once for yes, twice for no. The next thing I know, I’m inside it, answering questions.
None of the questions are meaningful. I figure this out pretty quick. They have nothing to do with me personally. They are yes and no questions meant to stimulate a reaction in my brain. And there are a lot of them.
“Olive,” an unfamiliar voice says through a speaker inside the machine. “Please remain still as we process some of your results. The test is not over. It will resume in a few minutes.”
That’s probably a bad sign.
But there’s nothing I can do about it, so I close my eyes and let myself drift, so tired, I could fall asleep in here.
Olive! Olive, where are you ?
My eyes fly open. “Brose?”
“Please remain still, Olive,” the voice in the speaker says. “The test is not over.”
It’s me , Brose says. But the weird thing is, he’s not here, but I can hear him inside my head. Bet you thought I bailed, huh ?
I can’t answer him. Not without being chastised again. And anyway, I don’t want whoever is on the other end of that speaker to hear my conversation with Brose.
So I have it inside my head, which doesn’t even feel weird.
I find myself inside a room. Brose is sitting in a chair at the far end. He looks good in that suit. No tie. The collar is open. The chair is kind of low and wide, so he’s a little bit slumped into the cushions and his legs are open. My eyes get stuck there between them for a moment, but automatically scan back up to his face when he grabs himself and chuckles. “Do you miss me?”
“Oh, God, you have no idea. Where did you go? Why did you leave me? What the hell is going on?”
Shhhh , he says. Then he beckons me to him with a single crooked finger. Come here. Sit in my lap. Let me hold you .
I don’t, though. Because this isn’t real. “Where are we? What is this place?”
What is this place ? Brose snickers. It’s your head, love. It’s where I live .
“I… don’t understand.”
Yes, you do. I live here, Olive. Inside your head. Just as you live in mine .
I’m trying to force these words to make sense, but they just… don’t .
Listen . Brose’s words are sharp now. We don’t have much time. Where is Shep?
“Shep? I don’t know. Somewhere around here.”
Look for him .
“How? I’m inside an MRI machine.”
You know how. Relax and concentrate .
“I don’t know what you want. I?—”
“Olive?” the voice in the speaker says. “We’re going to begin again. Once for yes, two for no.”
Easy , Brose says. I’m still in the room with him, he’s still in the chair, but none of this is making sense to me. Just relax, Olive. Answer their questions. Press that button each time—however many times you want, it doesn’t matter. But while you’re doing that, I want you to find Shep. I want you to look for him . He points to the door behind me, which I didn’t actually realize was there. You can go out there, Olive, and look for him .
The speaker starts the questions again, and without even thinking, I’m pressing the button on the remote in my hand.
Go on , Brose says. Go look for him .
I turn back to Brose, confused. “Why?”
He gives me the same smile that Penny woman did. Who thinks for you, Olive ?
I deflate a little. “You do.”
And who acts for me ?
“I do.”
Yes, good. Now go look for Shep . His voice changes a little at the end here. It sounds… deeper. Meaner. Older?
But it’s still him in that chair. And he’s given me a task.
He thinks for me, I act for him .
So I leave the room and go looking for Shep.