Chapter 11
ALEX
I’d never hitchhiked in my life. Luckily for me, the woman who picked me up wasn’t a psychopath. Maybe fate had decided I’d had enough run-ins with the dark and sinister type. Ironically, hitching a ride with a stranger was probably about as safe as merely breathing.
She pulled alongside the curb in downtown Portland and wished me luck.
“Thanks for letting me tag along,” I said, pushing the passenger door open.
The frigid air whipped my messy hair into my face.
I swiped the locks from my eyes, standing on the sidewalk as I watched my Good Samaritan wheel away in her SUV.
I was surprised she’d let me into her pristine ride, considering how my sneakers were caked in mud from hiking through the soggy fields surrounding the barn.
I must have spent forty-five minutes walking before I found the highway, and another half hour waiting until someone picked me up.
The whole time, I’d agonized over Rafe finding me…
and agonized over whether or not I wanted him to.
Shivering in my hoodie that was barely thick enough to ward off a breeze, let alone temperatures this low, I dug my phone out and stared at the blank screen. I’d shut the thing off during my trek through the fields, afraid that Rafe would call, and I’d lose my nerve to flee.
Even now, I was scared to turn it back on—not that I had anyone I could call to pick me up.
I could call Evelyn, but I hadn’t spoken to her since the day Zach’s phone call had ruined my lunch with her.
Besides, dragging anyone into this situation was selfish.
My therapist was the only person I felt comfortable enough to talk to.
Sandra would offer an unbiased ear—unbiased except for where the law was concerned.
If I unloaded everything on her, she’d insist on contacting the police, and sure, they’d arrest my brother.
But what about Rafe? He was participating in illegal fighting.
I wouldn’t be the reason he went back to jail. Never again.
But something needed to change because I couldn’t go on like this anymore. I was lost, a wanderer inside my life, herded along by the will of others, and it needed to stop.
I spotted a coffee shop less than a block away, and my stomach grumbled, reminding me that I hadn’t eaten yet.
As I hurried down the sidewalk, that cafe called to me with the warmth it offered.
I entered, letting out a relieved sigh, and rubbed my hands together while I waited in line to order a cappuccino and something sinful to nibble on.
The young guy behind the counter was too swamped with customers to pay extra attention to me, which suited me fine.
Settling at a small table in the corner away from other people, I bit into a pastry, sipped from my steaming cappuccino, and wished for the power of invisibility.
I needed my car so I could get the hell out of Dodge.
Because thinking with a clear head was impossible around Rafe.
He hypnotized me with his presence, with the way he played my body as if I were his personal instrument.
At that moment, surrounded by normal people enjoying their Sunday in a coffee shop, escaping the chill of winter, I realized how badly I was reeling.
My cell taunted me from the table, its mere presence screaming how I couldn’t avoid Rafe forever.
Picking up the phone, I powered it up, and just as I feared, several missed call notifications blared at me from the screen.
A shrill ring made me jump, and I slid the green bar to the right, brought the phone to my ear with trembling fingers, and whispered a hello.
“Where the fuck are you?” Rafe’s frantic voice issued a sharp pang through my temple.
Shit, he was mad.
“Somewhere safe.”
“You think you’re safer on your own than with me?”
I gazed around the shop, but no one was paying me any attention. Just in case, I kept my voice low. “I won’t be the prize in a fight. I’m not a piece of meat.”
“What you are is mine, and you’re gonna tell me where you are.”
I gritted my teeth. “I’ll kill myself before I let Zach get his hands on me again. And next time, I won’t botch up the job.”
A growl filtered through the phone. “I’ll spank your ass black and blue if you ever talk like that again.”
As if he were standing over me, threatening to punish me in person, my muscles tightened.
He let out a breath, and his furious tone evened out. “Where are you? I’ll come pick you up.”
“N-no.”
“Sweetheart,” he warned.
“Not until you call off this fight with Zach.”
An aggravated sigh traveled through the line. “I can’t do that.”
“Please, Rafe,” I begged, blinking, horrified that I was nearly crying in public. “Do it for me.”
“I am doing this for you!” he shouted. I winced, holding the phone away from my ear until the screeching stopped. “Tell me where you are right now, or I swear to God—”
I pressed the button to end the call, powered off the phone, and gazed at my shaking hand. I didn’t know how long I sat there, zoning out, the quiet chatter lulling me into a sense of peace. Except reality was waiting beyond the door of this temporary haven, and I didn’t know what to do.
Run, or go back to him?
The idea of running, of never seeing him again, broke my heart, but I couldn’t go back while things were the way they were.
I suspected he’d taken me because Zach posed a threat.
He loved me enough to protect me, but after witnessing his nightmare while pinned under the lethal strength of his hands, after overhearing his phone call this morning, I realized, even if he didn’t, that he still blamed me too.
I stood on quaking legs and made my way to the exit, avoiding eye contact with people. Could they tell how rattled I was by looking at me? Not even the blistering cold could penetrate the dread coiling around my body.
I’d just hung up on him.
What the hell was I thinking? But I wasn’t thinking, and that was the problem.
I hopped on a city bus, my mind as frozen as the weather, and after a couple hours and two transfers, I reached my neighborhood as night descended.
This wasn’t how I thought I’d spend my Sunday.
Seemed like Rafe had taken me days ago, yet a mere 24 hours had passed since I found him lurking in the shadows just inside my foyer.
As I approached my house on foot, a Ford pickup caught my eye, parked a few houses down by the curb. Instantly, I knew it belonged to Rafe. I’d never seen it on my street, and his presence beyond my door hit me in waves, as if I felt him in there, waiting for me, his anger palpable.
My car sat untouched in the driveway, and I had my keys in my purse. I could climb in and drive away. But then what? Where would I go?
I had nowhere to go. I only had him. I only wanted him.
But did he want me because the thought of being apart made him ill, or was the threat of Zach the reason Rafe had come back into my life after all these months?
I couldn’t turn away without knowing, regardless of how much the sane part of me wanted to.
Preparing myself for the ultimate showdown, I climbed the icy steps and went inside.