Chapter 19
RAFE
Something vibrated against my hip, dragging me from sleep, and the absence of the warm body on the couch beside me was the first thing to register.
Alex was nowhere in sight, but the hint of running water in the bathroom reached my ears.
The thought that she felt the need to take another shower so soon sent an ache pinging through the chambers of my heart.
She could shower morning, noon, and night and still not wash this hellish experience from her being, and there was nothing I could do about that, no magic cure to be found that would heal her.
Only time would do that.
The buzzing sensation against my hip continued, and I retrieved the cell phone I’d gotten back from Alex last night. Jax’s face flashed across the screen.
With a swipe of my thumb, I answered the call. “Hey, what’s up?”
“Got the situation cleaned up,” he said without preamble as the distinctive whoosh of traffic sounded in the background. “No one will find a trace.”
“I can’t thank you enough.”
“Don’t mention it.” His nicotine habit was an audible exhale over the line. “Did you take care of Zach yet?”
“No,” I said, rising to my feet and stretching my calves. Sleeping on the sofa wasn’t my idea of a good night’s rest, but I wasn’t about to force Alex up those stairs our first night back. I wasn’t about to let her sleep alone either. “I’m still deciding what to do.”
“Look, man. I know I voted for prison last time, but he’s proven that’s a useless plan.”
“You think I should take him out?”
“I don’t think he’s given you a choice.”
“I agree. I’m hoping Alex is on the same page this time.”
“The way we found her…I’d be shocked to shit if she weren’t.” He let a beat pass, and muffled voices chatted in the background. “Listen, I’ve gotta go. I’ll come by in a few days to touch base.” The line went dead, and I wouldn’t expect anything else from Jax.
With a sigh, I set my cell on the sofa table on the way to the bathroom, figuring I’d join Alex in the shower.
I’d almost reached the promise of hot water and my wife’s irresistible body when the doorbell rang.
Changing direction, I questioned who the hell had the balls to show up on the island unannounced.
I pulled the door open, and the ground gave out from beneath me.
Will’s grandfather stood on the other side, looking as formidable as I remembered, though less so now that he was living the life of sobriety. He’d never liked me back when he lived in Dante’s Pass, and Nik and I had been tight. I was sure that held true now all these years later.
“What can I do for you, Nicholas?” Another man accompanied him, someone I didn’t recognize, and my gaze ping-ponged between the two.
He shifted, the motion drawing my eye to the manilla folder clutched in his hands. “I’m going to get straight to the point. I know you were involved in my grandson’s kidnapping.”
I forced my face into a neutral mask. Part of me had expected the fallout from this. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”
He huffed.
Because we both knew exactly what he was talking about, and I could deny it all I wanted, but if Will identified me, it was game over.
He passed the folder to the man at his side, and the guy thrust it in my direction.
“You’ve been served,” the stranger said.
“What’s this?”
Nicholas cleared his throat. “A petition to terminate your parental rights.”
So he knew.
Of course he did, or he wouldn’t be here. I flipped through the court papers, noting the filing date. He’d had the documents drawn up a week before my wedding.
I glanced up and met his eyes—the same deep brown he’d passed down to Nik. “I didn’t have anything to do with his kidnapping.”
“So you don’t deny your knowledge of it.” It wasn’t a question, but rather a statement designed to corner me.
I didn’t answer. Lying to him was pointless and explaining just as useless, because he wouldn’t listen. If he wanted me in jail, he would have sent the cops. He was here because he wanted something else.
Me, out of Will’s life on a permanent, legal basis.
The thought formed a lump in my throat, and I swallowed to dislodge the ache. I’d walked away from Will knowing it was for the best.
For him, not for me.
His kidnapping had proven that I was unfit to be a father, too caught up in dangerous shit I feared would follow me until the day I died. This wasn’t an environment for a child.
And yet, the thought of signing away my son…
With a defeated sigh, I dragged a hand through my messy hair. “I haven’t had any contact with him. I walked away for his own good.”
“Look,” Nicholas said, crossing his arms, “I know what you did for Will. He didn’t want you to get into trouble, so don’t be angry at him.”
“What did he tell you?”
“Not much at first. He was tight-lipped, but he slipped up and mentioned your tattoos.”
That was one downside to inking one’s skin. I cursed under my breath. “Is he okay?”
“It’ll take some time, but he’ll recover.”
I let out a breath. “I care about him.”
“I figured as much. I don’t know what the hell you did to have my grandson dragged into such a traumatic situation, but I know you got him out, and that’s why I’m willing to look the other way.”
The set of his jaw spelled the caveat.
“But only if I sign over my parental rights.”
“You said you already walked away. This is just putting that decision on paper.” He rubbed his chin. “My only concern is for Will’s well-being. With Nikki gone, he’s all I’ve got.”
“Just…give me a second.”
Letting the door inch shut behind me, I dragged both hands through my hair, tugging on the strands to the point of pain as I paced the foyer, mind tumbling end-over-end. Someday, Will would find out about me, and he’d wonder why I’d walked away. Putting it on paper seemed so much worse.
So fucking final.
His terrified face flashed in my head, the glint of metal at his throat. He’d had to go through that because of me.
Because of my shitty choices.
Letting out a long breath, I pulled the door open and found the two men right where I’d left them. “I won’t contest the petition.”
“You’re making the right decision, for Will’s sake.”
Throat too thick, all I could do was nod.
“Before I go, I need to ask.” He took a step in my direction, a hint of threat in that single footfall. “Is my grandson safe?”
The question reverberated through my conscience, and I hated that he even had to ask. “The problem’s been taken care of.”
“I’m glad to hear it, because if you put him in danger again, there won’t be a get-out-of-jail-free card next time.”
No acknowledgements were needed, and neither were additional words. Will’s grandfather and his companion walked away, and I closed and locked the door. Setting the documents on the table in the foyer, I felt the loss of what could have been square in the chest.
A dull ache I’d never be capable of displacing.
Later, the full magnitude of the decision I’d made would hit me, and I knew it would burn like hell.
Needing a distraction, I headed in the direction of the bathroom, anxious to join Alex, but the spray of the shower was absent.
Pushing the door open, I found her sitting on the toilet, hair a wet and tangled mess surrounding her face.
She glanced up, eyes red and leaking tears down her cheeks, and my world tilted off its axis as fear stole my breath. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m bleeding.”
I searched for the source of her despair, gaze roaming her skin for a sign of blood. “Where are you hurt?” I met her eyes again, the seconds passing in deafening silence.
Apprehension lined her gorgeous face. Her lips parted, closed, parted again.
“Alex, what is it?”
“I…I’m…pregnant.”
A single blink—that’s all the reaction I could give her. Because her words didn’t make sense, were incomprehensible.
A high-pitched wail launched from her throat, spiraling her pain into the bathroom left humid from the shower. Shoulders shaking from the force of her heartache, she buried her face in her hands.
“I mean was,” she said between broken sobs, words muffled into her palms. “I was pregnant.”