Chapter 4
“Good God girl, what happened?” Stacey exclaimed as I ushered her and the kids inside. Eve didn’t give me a chance to respond. Not that I would’ve known what to say anyway. She demanded my attention with her excited chatter about how “Aunt Stacey” took her out for ice cream.
“And we had movie night last night!” Her eyes rounded with childhood innocence, and she failed to notice the strained curve of my smile. Thank God she didn’t question why mommy had been crying as I pulled her into my arms and held on tight.
Stacey’s assessing gaze followed me into my living room. I set Eve down, and she took off running toward her bedroom with Stacey’s son Michael not far behind her. Turning to face Stacey, I fisted my hand and held it to my mouth.
Don’t start crying again.
I was normal here, known only as the quiet woman with the adorable daughter. I wasn’t the criminal who allowed abusive men to take advantage—the messed up woman who got off on being controlled and punished.
“Gotta let it out eventually, Kayla. It’s been festering for months.”
I raised my eyes and blinked. “Wh…what?”
She took me by the elbow and led me to the couch. We sat side by side, and she rubbed my back in the soothing way my mother used to, long before she’d died. Long before the world’s darkness had seeped into my veins and turned me into a shadow of myself.
“I know you’ve been runnin’ from something. I figured you’d tell me when you were ready. Seems like you’re ready now. So, who was the hottie in the shiny Benz last night?”
I wasn’t sure how long we sat in silence, me chewing the inside of my cheek while Eve and Michael played in the next room.
Stacey didn’t push, didn’t say a word. She was older, in her early forties and divorced.
Michael had been her miraculous surprise late in life because she hadn’t thought she’d ever get pregnant.
She’d been quick to take me under her wing months ago.
And as usual, she was right. I did need to talk about it but finding the words was another matter.
“His name’s Gage Channing.” I closed my eyes, rubbed my hands down my face, and little by little, what I’d done last night seeped in. “Oh my God.”
“Let it out. You’ll feel better.”
“Last year, Eve was sick. She had leukemia.” I glanced up and took in Stacey’s stricken face.
“She’s okay now,” I assured her. “I have Gage to thank for her survival. I was working as his personal assistant and one day…well, I stumbled on a way to steal the money I needed for her treatment, but he found out.”
More silence. Eve darted from her room long enough to show me she’d dressed her doll by herself. “Wow,” I said. “You are such a big girl!”
“Michael says dolls are stupid.” She pouted.
“He’s a boy, baby. Most boys think dolls are yucky. I bet he’ll like your new puzzles though.” She rewarded me with a toothy grin before returning to her bedroom.
“What’d he do when he realized you’d taken the money?” Stacey asked, bringing me back to our conversation.
A small laugh escaped, a bitter and crazy sound. “He blackmailed me into being his sex slave.”
Stacey had no words, just wide and round eyes that assessed me in a different light.
The whole story poured from me, and by the time I finished telling her everything, she’d gathered me into her arms. I muffled my cries so the kids wouldn’t hear and gushed like a broken dam that wouldn’t be stopped.
“I knew you carried a lot with you, but I had no idea, Kayla.” She inched away to look at me. “Did he hurt you last night, or threaten you? Is that why you wanted me to take Eve out of here? We can call the police. He won’t get away with this. Not while I’m around, honey.”
I shook my head but couldn’t meet her gaze. Shame warmed my cheeks, spreading until my body flushed. “He didn’t hurt me. I…I…”
“You what?”
“I wanted him.”
Her expression melted in pity, and I couldn’t handle that look. I jumped to my feet, turned my back to her, and wrapped myself in my arms.
“It’s classic, Kayla. He’ll grovel and make you think he’s sorry, promise not to hurt you again.”
“Gage doesn’t promise anything. That’s what makes this so difficult.
He is who he is and he doesn’t hide or make excuses.
” Thanks to my ex-husband Rick, I’d become immune to those I’m-sorry-it’ll-never-happen-again kind of tactics, but Gage was different.
His hold on me was different, and I couldn’t explain or categorize it.
Couldn’t fight it.
“What does he want from you?” she asked.
“Me. He just wants me.”
“What about Ian? Have you talked to him since all this happened last year?”
“He showed up this morning. He wants one night with me so he can…prove something, I guess.” I rolled my eyes. “This is what most women fantasize about, right? Having two men fighting over them?” I collapsed onto the couch again. “I wish they’d never shown up. I was okay.”
“No, you weren’t.”
My head snapped up at her matter-of-fact tone. “I was coping, Stace. I was happy.”
“Coping? Maybe.” She raised a perfectly shaped brow. “But you haven’t been the picture of happiness, hon.” She let out a heavy sigh. “So this is the reason you shoot down every man who shows any interest? This bizarre love triangle?”
“Trusting hasn’t been easy. I don’t have the best judgment when it comes to men.”
“Your situation is far from normal, but for your own sanity you’ve gotta make a decision. Gage sounds like a monst—”
“He took a bullet for me.” I paused, my throat constricting as tears threatened again. “He saved Eve. He’s done horrible things, but…”
“Sounds like you’ve already made your decision.”
I gave a rapid shake of my head. “No, Stace. No.”
“If you didn’t feel something for him, you wouldn’t be sitting here so torn up. Some part of you must find him appealing, otherwise you wouldn’t have called me last night to look after Eve.” She grabbed my arm and my undivided attention. “You would’ve called the cops.”
“I should’ve called the cops.”
“But you didn’t.”
“It’s just sex,” I whispered.
She gave a sad smile. “It’s never just sex, especially for someone like you.”
I raised a brow. “Someone like me?”
“You believe in the fairytale—the happily ever after. I pegged you the minute you walked into Gigi’s.”
The corners of my mouth turned up. “Gage is not happily ever after. Ian is. He’s what I need.”
“But Gage is what you want.”
“I don’t know what I want. I thought I did, thought being away from both of them was the right thing to do.”
“Maybe it is.”
“I don’t know anymore.”
“Let me ask you this,” Stacey began. “Which one would you trust with your daughter’s life?”
When she put it like that…
“Both of them.” But for entirely different reasons. One had used his money and power to save Eve, while the other would never hurt her, no matter what.
“Ian would make a great father,” I said.
“Then maybe you should give him a chance. He isn’t the one hurting you.”