The Darkness Consumes

Chapter 18 The big escape

Viv sat across from Ash in the dining hall, the usual noise like the clinking trays and people chatting buzzing around but kind of fading into the background.

For the first time in a while, things between him and Ash felt.

.. almost normal. They were talking again, making dumb jokes, even sharing some food without it feeling weird.

But normal wasn't really normal, not yet. They'd both admitted there was that awkward almost-kiss, and now Viv kept wondering what the hell that was supposed to mean. Was it nothing? Was it something? Did it mean they were friends or something more? He didn't know, and it made his chest feel tight.

His eyes kept jumping around the room, scanning faces, walls, anywhere but at Ash for too long. Paranoia was creeping in—like maybe someone was watching him or judging him, or maybe the whole place was too loud or too quiet. He hated how jumpy he felt.

Ash noticed and reached out, their fingers lightly touching Viv's hand on the table. "Hey," they said, voice soft, just for him. "You good?"

Viv swallowed hard and tried to steady his breathing. He wanted to say yeah. He wanted to mean it. But inside, everything felt shaky and weird, like he was barely holding himself together.

He didn't answer right away. He just kept staring across the room, tapping his fingers restlessly against the side of his tray. Then he leaned in a little closer to Ash, dropping his voice like he was saying something top secret.

"I've been thinking," he muttered, "about leaving. Like... just walking out."

Ash blinked at him. "You mean, like, escaping?"

Viv nodded once, quick and serious. "Yeah. I could do it. During rec time, maybe. I know the doors are locked, but I've seen how Carla props the exit open when deliveries come in. I could time it. Slip out."

Ash stared at him like he'd grown a second head. "Viv. That's a dumb idea."

Viv bristled. "No, it's not. I'm not a prisoner. I could just walk out. Go find Matteo and—"

Ash's whole face shifted at the name, and Viv stopped talking like the words were caught in his throat.

Ash lowered their voice, glancing around briefly and then allowing his eyes to settle on Viv's again. "Viv... Matteo's not out there. You know that."

Viv's jaw clenched. "Yeah, well... I need to see him. I can't explain it, but I feel like if I just get out of here, maybe I'll understand. Maybe everything will make sense again."

Ash leaned in closer, their voice firm but not angry. "And what? You run off, they find you, and you end up sedated in a box room again? That's not going to help. You don't need to escape, Viv. You need help. You're finally getting it."

Viv looked away, his stomach twisting. He hated that Ash was probably right. He hated that he felt so stuck. "You don't get it," Viv muttered.

"I do," Ash said quietly. "More than you think." They nudged the tray between them. "Eat your food. Then, if you wanna come up with an escape plan, at least do it with enough energy to outrun Steve."

That made Viv crack the smallest smile. Just barely. But it was there.

Viv poked at his potatoes with the side of his fork, half-listening to the clatter of trays and low chatter around the cafeteria. Ash was eating quietly opposite him, not saying much either.

Then Ava appeared out of nowhere, plopping her tray down across from them with a big grin. "Guess what?"

Ash perked up immediately. "What?"

"I'm getting discharged," she said, beaming. "End of the week. Dr. Julie says I've made amazing progress. My parents are coming to pick me up on Sunday."

Ash's eyes lit up. "That's awesome, Ava. I'm really happy for you."

Viv didn't say anything. He just kind of sat there, chewing slowly, staring at the sad little scoop of vegetables on his plate.

Ava looked between them, her smile faltering slightly. "Isn't that good news?"

"Yeah," Viv mumbled, not looking at her. "Great."

Ash shot him a look, but didn't say anything.

Ava tried again. "You've been doing better too, Viv. Dr. Jacobs said—"

"I said great, didn't I?" Viv snapped, sharper than he meant to. He shoved a chunk of potato in his mouth and avoided both their eyes.

Ava blinked, then looked down at her tray. "Right. Sorry."

The table went quiet. Ash gently nudged Viv under the table with their knee, subtle but pointed.

Viv's face burned. He wasn't mad at Ava.

Not really. He was mad at everything. Mad that she was getting out while he felt more stuck than ever.

Mad that she got to go back to a family who actually came to visit.

Mad that she didn't see ghosts or hallucinate people who weren't real.

And yeah—jealous. Stupidly, bitterly jealous.

He didn't say any of that though. He just stabbed his fork into a carrot and kept chewing like it might distract him from the ache building in his chest.

After lunch, the staff started calling everyone out for rec time. Viv dragged his tray to the return hatch without saying a word, tossing his plastic fork into the bin. Ash trailed behind him, quiet but close.

The hallway felt colder than usual, or maybe Viv just felt colder inside. He didn't know anymore. His stomach was full for once, but he still felt hollow.

They walked into the rec room and the usual buzz of activity was there—people playing cards, others sprawled on beanbags watching some ancient cartoon on the TV. Ava was already over by the puzzle table, acting like nothing awkward had just happened ten minutes ago. Viv ignored her.

He stood by the doorway for a bit, arms crossed, scanning the room. He didn't want to sit. Didn't want to talk. Honestly, he didn't know what he wanted. His brain felt too loud and too quiet at the same time.

Ash nudged his shoulder. "Come on. Let's sit."

Viv didn't move.

Ash sighed and sat down on one of the couches anyway, patting the spot beside them. "You can hover like a creep if you want, but I'm not playing Go Fish standing up."

Viv rolled his eyes, but after a beat, he shuffled over and dropped down next to them.

They sat in silence for a while, just watching the rest of the room move around them. Viv picked at the hem of his sleeve. His mind was still stuck on Ava's news, on the way her face lit up when she said "discharged." That word echoed around his skull like it was mocking him.

Out of nowhere, Viv said quietly, "I'm going to do it. Tomorrow. During rec time. I'm leaving."

Ash sighed tiredly. "That's a dumb idea."

Viv turned his head, expression flat. "Thanks for the support."

"No, I mean it's dumb. Not because you couldn't pull it off... okay, maybe you couldn't. But because it wouldn't fix anything."

Viv leaned back on the couch and stared at the ceiling. "It's better than rotting in here while everyone else gets to go home."

Ash was quiet for a second. Then: "Maybe. Or maybe it's just running. And you don't even know what you're running to."

Viv didn't answer. He didn't have one. He just kept staring up, wishing he was anywhere else. Wishing he could see Matteo again. Wishing he could just feel normal... whatever that even meant.

Ash shifted on the couch beside him, their knees almost touching but not quite.

The rec room buzzed quietly in the background—someone laughed too loud near the TV, cards slapped onto a table, a chair scraped across the floor.

But all Viv could hear was the way Ash's voice dropped, serious and careful.

"Viv, answer me something honestly," Ash said.

Viv rolled his eyes, leaning his head back against the couch. "This already sounds like a dumb question."

Ash let out a soft tut, not amused. "Do you really think you're okay to be out of the hospital when only a week ago you thought you were totally normal?"

Viv turned his head, his eyes narrowing as they landed on Ash. "Are you saying I'm not normal now?"

Ash didn't flinch, but the tension in their jaw was obvious. "No, of course not. But you're not fine either. You have schizo—"

"Don't," Viv cut in sharply, his voice low and defensive. "Don't say it."

Ash looked at him carefully, their eyes heavy with something that looked like sadness. "If you can't even admit it to yourself, then how are you ever going to get better?"

Viv's jaw clenched. "I don't need to get better. I just need to get the fuck out of here so I can see Matteo again."

"Viv, that's not—"

"Don't, Ash!" Viv exploded, sitting up straighter as his voice cracked with emotion. "You don't understand, okay? You have a family. You have people that give a shit about you! So does Ava, so does everyone. But I don't!"

Ash tried to cut in, voice soft, "No, that's not—"

"I only have Matteo," Viv barked, eyes stinging, voice shaking.

"And if what they're saying is true, if they're saying he's dead, I need to go.

I need to go and see him. Okay? To see where he actually is.

To see if it's true. Because I would fucking remember something like that, okay? I would. I would remember."

Ash stared at him like he was watching someone shatter right in front of him, helpless to stop it. Their face was drawn with quiet pity—eyes soft, brows pulled together.

"Don't," Viv said coldly, voice barely above a whisper. "Don't look at me like that. I don't need your help, and I certainly don't need your pity. I'm doing this."

Ash's voice was calm but firm. "You're not thinking straight."

Viv turned away, biting the inside of his cheek so hard it almost bled. But he didn't say anything else. The silence between them pressed in like a wall.

~

The next day, just past lunch, the hallway near the nurses' station buzzed with low chatter and the occasional shuffle of patients heading back to their rooms. Fluorescent lights hummed overhead, casting a dull white over the scuffed linoleum floor.

Viv paced back and forth like a caged animal, his heart pounding so loud it echoed in his ears.

His palms were sweating, and every few steps, he glanced over at the big double doors at the end of the hall—the ones that led to freedom. At least, that's how he saw it.

Nurse Carla sat at the desk, typing something into her computer, completely absorbed.

Josh was nearby, sipping a coffee and talking to another nurse about some weekend plan like he didn't have a hallway full of ticking time bombs walking past him.

Neither of them seemed to notice how Viv kept walking in the same circle like he was counting down to something.

Ash stood by the corner, arms crossed and body half-hidden behind a poorly-placed fake plant. They looked tense as hell—head darting every few seconds, eyes flicking toward the hallway leading to the rec room and another toward the doctors' offices.

"If Jacobs, Julie, or Steve show up, I'll whistle or something," Ash had whispered earlier. "But this is still a stupid idea."

Viv ignored that part. Right now, he wasn't interested in smart or stupid. He was interested in out.

He muttered numbers under his breath, counting the seconds it took for the security system by the door to flash green when a nurse went through.

Timing was everything. He couldn't afford to mess this up.

Not if there was a chance he could finally get out and see if what they said about Matteo was true.

He couldn't sit in that room one more day without knowing for sure.

Viv's pacing slowed when he caught a glimpse of something—someone—familiar through the narrow window of the front doors.

The mailman.

Same guy as usual. Blue uniform, cap pulled low, shoulders hunched like he didn't want to be doing this today. He was pushing a dolly stacked with two bulky cardboard boxes that nearly toppled over with every wobble. Viv's breath hitched. His eyes locked onto him like a lion spotting its opening.

Josh, being his usual laid-back self, didn't even hesitate.

He strolled over, whistling some tune under his breath, and casually unlocked the door with a beep of his keycard.

He propped it open with his hip and reached for the clipboard the mailman handed him, scribbling something down while barely looking.

Viv's heart started sprinting. This is it. This is it. This is it.

Josh and the mailman were both distracted now, maneuvering the boxes in awkwardly, their backs to the hallway. The door was still open. Just wide enough. Just long enough.

Viv took a step forward, then stopped. His eyes whipped back to Ash, who was still half-hidden behind the fake plant. Their arms were crossed tight, shoulders tense, chewing on their lip like they already knew what was happening.

Viv's throat was dry. He looked right at Ash, desperation all over his face. "Come with me," he mouthed. He didn't say it aloud—couldn't risk it—but the way his lips moved, the way his eyes begged, it was loud enough without sound.

Ash looked startled, then conflicted, their head shaking slowly at first. Don't do this, their expression said. But Viv kept staring at them like this was life or death. Like if Ash didn't come, maybe he wouldn't go at all. Maybe.

Ash shook their head again, firmer this time, but their face crumbled a little as they whispered back, "Viv, please don't."

Viv took another step toward the door. His heart was a fist in his chest, squeezing tighter with every second.

Ash stepped out from the wall, eyes wide, torn. "Viv—" they whispered, their voice trembling. "Don't go."

But the door was open. The world was right there.

Viv didn't think. He just moved. He lunged for Ash's wrist and yanked hard. "Come on!" he hissed.

"Viv, no," Ash said in fright.

Ash stumbled forward, caught off guard, but Viv was already dragging them past the nurses' station like a bullet ripping through calm. Nurse Carla turned just as they passed—her eyes going wide. "Viviano!" she shouted, voice sharp. "Hey! Stop!"

Josh spun around too late, dropping the clipboard with a clatter. "What the hell—?!"

But Viv and Ash were already bolting, sneakers squeaking against the linoleum. Viv didn't dare look back. He could hear Carla shouting for backup, the thud of running feet behind them, the scrape of Josh pushing away the boxes he'd been holding.

Viv yanked Ash harder as they rounded the corner, nearly slamming into the wall before skidding into the stairwell. The door banged shut behind them, muffling the chaos, but only for a second.

"Go, go, go—" Viv breathed, practically dragging Ash down the steps, taking them two at a time.

Ash didn't speak. Didn't argue. Maybe he was confused, or flustered, or angry. Maybe all three? Who knew? Not Viv, because he hadn't even asked. Ash just followed, wide-eyed and gasping as they hurtled down flight after flight of stairs, Viv's grip still firm on their wrist.

By the third floor, Viv's legs were burning. By the fourth, Ash was stumbling, nearly falling face-first onto the concrete. But neither of them stopped.

At the fifth and final flight, Viv crashed through the stairwell door into the main lobby, where a visitor was just walking inside—a man in a suit, holding a coffee, eyes flicking up just in time to see two patients darting toward him like animals on the loose.

"Move!" Viv shouted.

The man jumped back, spilling his drink, and the glass front doors were right there—open, buzzing, unguarded for just a second. Viv could still hear voices echoing from the stairwell behind them. Josh yelling. Carla calling for security.

But he didn't stop.

He pulled Ash through the doors and out into the daylight—blinding and real—and just like that, they were outside.

Free.

Ash let himself be dragged. Past the parking lot, across a street, narrowly dodging a car that honked at them with a long, angry blare. Viv didn't slow down. His fingers stayed locked around Ash's wrist like it was the only thing tethering him to the world.

They ran through backstreets, across a grassy patch behind a gas station, and then down a narrow path under a rusted overpass where the noise of the city dulled into a low hum.

There was a tunnel beneath it—graffiti-covered, damp, and echoey.

It smelled like piss and smoke and rain, but Viv finally stopped there.

His chest was on fire.

He bent forward, hands braced on his knees, lungs dragging in desperate gasps like they were made of sandpaper. Ash stumbled back against the wall of the tunnel, chest rising and falling just as fast, but his face wasn't full of relief. It was rage.

"What the fuck, Viv?!" Ash exploded, voice bouncing off the walls of the tunnel. "Are you—are you insane?!"

Viv didn't answer. He couldn't. He was too busy trying not to puke up out of fear, adrenaline and pure anxiety.

"You dragged me out of there like a goddamn maniac!" Ash yelled again, stepping toward him. "Do you even know where we're going?! What the hell is the plan, Viv?"

Viv finally straightened up, wiping sweat from his forehead with the back of his sleeve. "I—I don't know," he panted. "I just—had to get out. I had to."

Ash stared at him, jaw clenched, nostrils flaring. "So you just... you just decided to break out of a psych ward and drag me with you? Are you serious right now?"

Viv blinked, swallowing hard. "I didn't want to do it alone."

"Well newsflash, you should've," Ash snapped. "Jesus, Viv. Do you know how much trouble we're in right now?"

Viv didn't answer.

"Do you even care?" Ash added, voice sharper now, edged with something deeper than anger—fear. "What were you even gonna do? Run until you find your brother's ghost or some shit? Huh? Then what?"

Viv's breath caught.

Ash's eyes were shiny now, furious but also trembling. "You're not okay, Viv. You're not. And this? This stunt you just pulled? It proves it."

Viv opened his mouth, but no words came. Just the sound of distant cars, the dripping of a pipe overhead, the aching burn in his chest. He didn't know what to say. Because deep down, maybe Ash was right.

Ash let out a sharp breath and turned away, fists clenched at his sides. He started kicking at the gravel scattered across the tunnel floor, small pebbles skittering and clinking off the concrete walls like angry punctuation marks.

Viv watched him in silence, feeling like he should be more guilty, maybe even scared of what he'd just done—dragging them both into this chaos—but instead, his brain short-circuited on something stupid.

Ash looked kind of... cute when he was mad.

His cheeks were flushed, his lips pressed tight in frustration, and his hair was all over the place from running.

Viv hated himself a little for noticing it now, of all times.

But there it was. His mind, cracked and burning, still found a way to be completely dumb.

Viv's stomach twisted as he looked away, jaw clenching.

What the hell is wrong with you? he thought bitterly.

They. Their. Them. It's not that hard.

He felt the shame crawl up his neck like heat, his pulse still racing from the escape.

No wonder Ash had pulled away last time, no wonder they hadn't kissed him—why would they, when he couldn't even get something as basic as their pronouns right in his head?

It wasn't just about trust or trauma or timing.

It was about respect, and maybe Viv wasn't as good at that as he liked to think.

He hated the part of himself that still slipped up, even silently.

And now here they were, out in the real world, running from a place full of people who were trying to help him, and he couldn't even get this right.

"I'm... I'm sorry, Ash," Viv finally said quietly, his voice raw, eyes barely meeting theirs.

"Save it," Ash snapped, voice sharper than he'd heard in a while.

"No, please. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—"

"No, you're right, you shouldn't have!" Ash's voice cracked as their hands flew up in frustration. "Did you even think about how this would impact me at all? No, of course you didn't, because why would you? I mean, who the hell even am I? Just some escape buddy who—"

"You can go back," Viv interrupted, voice suddenly small, eyes locked on a crack in the pavement.

"What?" Ash blinked at him, expression caught somewhere between surprise and disbelief.

"You can go back," Viv said again, straighter this time, more resolved. "I... it's up to you. We can part ways here."

Ash stared at him, eyes searching, unreadable.

"I'm sure they won't be too mad at you if you willingly go back," Viv continued, voice a little too casual to be convincing. "Just tell them I forced you to leave and that you ditched me. Make it believable. It'll be okay."

Ash still didn't say anything, their arms now slowly unfolding.

Viv exhaled. "I don't want you to be angry with me, Ash. That's the last thing I want. I swear I didn't mean to drag you out with me, it was just a spur-of-the-moment thing and I—"

"Let's just go find Brad," Ash muttered, cutting him off.

Viv blinked. "What?"

"Brad," Ash repeated, voice tight with restrained irritation. "You know, my brother?"

"Yeah... yeah, I know who Brad is... I'm just..."

"What? You think I'm going to let a schizophrenic who's in denial about his diagnosis roam around the streets by himself?" Ash's tone was flat now, edged with exhausted sarcasm. "I don't think so. I don't want a guilty conscience if something dumb happens to you."

Relief flooded Viv's chest, loosening something that had been wound tight since they'd bolted out the ward. He chose to ignore the denial part. "Are you sure?" he asked carefully.

"Yes," Ash mumbled, already turning. "Come on."

"Wait," Viv said, glancing around nervously.

"What?" Ash frowned, stopping.

Viv scratched the back of his neck. "Do you even know where we are?"

"Yeah," Ash frowned again, slower this time. "Don't you?"

"No," Viv admitted. "I... I wasn't exactly paying attention when they brought me to the ward."

"Oh," Ash mumbled, the fight in their voice fading just a little. They sighed, brushing hair from their face. "We're like an hour away from my hometown on a bus. Brad and my mum drove me here, but I know my way around. Let's go."

"You sure it's safe?"

Ash looked down at their grey hospital uniform and scuffed sneakers. "Probably not. But what other choice do we have?"

"Don't you think they would've told the cops by now? The first place they'd look is public transport."

"What do you suggest then?" Ash asked, exasperated.

"I don't know? Hitchhike?"

Ash looked at him like he'd grown a second head. "Viv, be fucking for real. Do you think anyone would give us a ride dressed like this? We look like two nutjobs who escaped from hell."

Viv shrugged and gave a lopsided grin. "Guess we need some new clothes then, huh?"

Ash narrowed their eyes even more, suspicion practically radiating off them. "Why are you smiling like that?"

Viv shrugged, still grinning. "Because I have an idea."

Ash looked genuinely concerned now. "I don't like when you say that."

Viv pointed towards the end of the underpass. "There's always corner shops on roads like this. Tiny places run by people who don't really pay attention to what's going on around them."

Ash squinted in the direction he was pointing. "Okay, and?"

"And," Viv said, like it was obvious, "we swipe some clothes. Just a hoodie or two, maybe a cap. Something lowkey."

"You want us to steal?" Ash hissed, their voice dropping to a harsh whisper.

Viv looked at them like duh. "We can't exactly walk into the shop and buy something with all the money we don't have. Unless you have a debit card hidden somewhere?"

Ash groaned and rubbed their face. "Viv, this is so stupid."

"Is it though?" Viv started walking, tugging Ash gently by the wrist to follow.

"Look, we stick out like sore thumbs. And the longer we look like this, the faster someone's going to spot us and call someone.

But if we blend in, we buy time. That's all we need.

Just enough time to figure out our next move. "

Ash hesitated, dragging their feet for a second before finally caving and walking alongside him. "This is so illegal," they muttered.

"Only if we get caught."

"That's not comforting."

Viv shot them a grin. "Welcome to the dark side, Ash."

They walked in silence for a few moments, the sounds of the city slowly creeping back in as they left the tunnel behind—cars passing in the distance, someone yelling at a dog, the faint rumble of a train nearby. The streets were dirtier here, a little more run-down. Perfect.

Viv spotted what he was looking for—a cramped-looking corner shop with clothes racks right outside. A stack of bargain bin hoodies and jackets were sloppily hung up, the kind of place that didn't bother with security tags or cameras.

"Bingo," Viv muttered.

Ash crossed their arms. "You're enjoying this way too much."

Viv didn't deny it. He just waited until the shopkeeper disappeared behind a rack of magazines inside, probably sorting something near the counter. Then he grabbed Ash by the elbow and yanked them toward the outdoor clothing rack.

"Okay," he muttered under his breath, "you go for the dark hoodie with the red sleeves. I'll grab the grey one."

Ash glanced at him like he'd just asked them to rob a bank. "Viv—"

"Do you want to look like a psych ward escapee or not?"

Ash scowled but reached out anyway, snatching the hoodie as fast as possible and awkwardly shoving it under their arm. Viv did the same, stuffing the grey hoodie under his own shirt like he'd done this before. Which... maybe he had.

"Go," Viv hissed. "Now."

They turned and walked quickly—not running, just fast enough to seem like they had somewhere to be. Viv's heart was hammering in his chest, every part of him waiting for someone to yell hey! or for a hand to grab his shoulder.

But no one did.

They didn't stop walking until they turned the corner at the end of the street and ducked into a narrow alley behind a shuttered café. The second they were out of sight, both of them dropped to their knees, breathing hard.

"I can't believe we just did that," Ash whispered, pulling the hoodie out and staring at it like it might bite them.

Viv was grinning like an idiot, already yanking his horrible grey hospital hoodie off. Ash's eyes darted away quickly. "It's not that deep. We needed the," Viv said.

Ash huffed. Instead of taking his own hoodie off, he just tugged theirs on over it, then crossed their arms, still flustered. "I'm not saying it wasn't necessary, I'm just saying—God, I've never stolen anything before."

"First time for everything." Viv gave them a playful nudge with his elbow. "You look good, by the way. Very undercover."

Ash rolled their eyes, cheeks a little pink. "Shut up."

Viv leaned his head back against the brick wall, finally starting to breathe normally again. They'd done it. Step one: escape. Step two: blend in. Step three... he wasn't sure yet. But he'd figure it out. Eventually.

Viv glanced over, eyes narrowing slightly as he studied Ash. They were hugging their arms close to their chest, shoulders tight, face flushed—not from the cold, but from something else. Something brittle.

"You good?" Viv asked, trying to sound casual, but his voice came out softer than he wanted it to.

Ash didn't answer right away. Their eyes darted around the alley like they were trying not to be seen, even though no one was there.

When they finally looked at him, they didn't look angry like they had earlier—more.

.. nervous. Timid, even. Their whole vibe was off.

"I'm okay," Ash mumbled, voice low and a little unconvincing.

Viv frowned, concern slipping into his face. "You sure?"

Ash shifted uncomfortably, then snapped—not with heat, but more like a quiet plea. "Stop grabbing me."

Viv blinked. "What?"

"You keep grabbing my wrist. Then my elbow." Ash rubbed at their sleeve without looking at him. Their cheeks were a soft pink now, not just from embarrassment, but something more vulnerable. "It just... hurts."

"Oh?" he mumbled. Then, Viv's stomach twisted.

He looked at the spot he'd grabbed earlier and the pieces clicked into place.

"Oh," he said quietly, his heart dropping when he realised that's probably the place where Ash had hurt himself.

Come to think of it, he had never actually seen Ash's arms. He always kept his sleeves down, even if it was too hot in the psych ward. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't even—"

"It's okay," Ash cut in quickly, but their voice cracked a little. "It just... hurts."

Viv winced, guilt crawling up his spine. He wanted to reach out, to touch their arm in reassurance, but now he didn't dare.

Ash took a shaky breath, pulling the hoodie sleeves down tighter around their wrists. "Let's just find a ride."