Chapter 28 Im telling the truth
Viv was ripped out of a comfortable sleep by the harsh sound of someone clearing their throat. Not a gentle call. Not Nurse Carla's sing-song "Good morning, sunshine." This was sharp. Cold.
He cracked one eye open.
Steve was looming over him, arms crossed, mouth pulled tight like he was resisting the urge to say something worse than whatever came out next. "Up," Steve said flatly. "Breakfast time."
Viv groaned and rolled onto his back, throwing an arm over his eyes. "Can't you just sedate me and wheel me in there?"
Steve ignored the sarcasm. "Let's go. Chop chop."
Still half-asleep and already in a foul mood, Viv dragged himself out of bed, shoved on his hoodie, and followed Steve down the hall. The fluorescent lights in the corridor made his eyes ache. Everything felt too bright, too loud, too real.
In the cafeteria, Steve practically shoved a tray into his hands. The food looked the same as always, some soggy toast, watery eggs, and a fruit cup that was more syrup than fruit.
"Eat fast," Steve muttered. "You're skipping group today. Dr. Jacobs wants to talk."
Viv paused. "Why?"
Steve shrugged like he didn't care. "Maybe because you've been acting off. Maybe because your chart says noncompliant more often than not. Or maybe because your attitude's even worse than usual. Take your pick, kid."
Viv scowled. "Thanks for the pep talk."
Steve didn't reply. He just turned and walked off, probably to ruin someone else's morning.
Viv stared at his tray, appetite gone. He stabbed a chunk of egg anyway, chewing without tasting. His chest was tight.
If Dr. Jacobs was pulling him from group, it meant something was up. And Viv had a sick feeling he already knew what.
Viv pushed the tray away and leaned forward, elbows on the table, hands buried in his hair.
Okay. Think.
He had about fifteen minutes, maybe less, before Dr. Jacobs would call him in and start asking questions about the previous day. And Viv knew exactly what those questions would be about.
"Josh said something about you not wanting visitors. Did somebody come to visit you? How was it? How did it feel seeing somebody that wasn't there again?"
And the answer to all of those was: It wasn't real.
Viv swallowed hard, jaw clenched. If he told Dr. Jacobs the truth, he'd be marked as unstable again.
Another hallucination. Another step backwards.
He'd get taken off the discharge list for sure.
Ash would be out there in the real world, probably counting down the days until Viv could join them, and here he was, slipping back into his old patterns, seeing people who weren't there.
But if he lied, he had to make it believable.
My mom came to visit. She sat with me while I painted. We talked, but it didn't go well. I got angry and walked out.
Simple. Vague. Emotional enough to seem honest.
Viv stared blankly at the smeared butter on his toast.
He just had to keep his voice steady. Avoid the details. Act a little shaken, but not too shaken. No spirals. No outbursts. Just another sad visit from a parent who never really cared. He could do that. He had to do that.
Or...better yet, maybe he should just run again? Yep. That seemed reasonable enough. He'd done it once, he could do it again.
"Let's go," Nurse Steve suddenly barked, appearing at Viv's side like a bad smell. "Dr. Jacobs is waiting."
Viv barely looked up from his tray. "Can't it wait? I didn't even finish breakfast."
Steve crossed his arms, unimpressed. "You've had twenty minutes. Get moving."
Viv stalled, picking at a crumb. "I think I'm feeling a bit... off today. Might be getting sick or something."
Steve raised a brow. "Sick, huh? You look fine to me."
"I'm not lying."
"Don't care. You're still going. Dr. Jacobs asked for you specifically, so unless you want him sending me back with a wheelchair and straps, I suggest you start walking."
Viv glared at him, stomach twisting. "This is harassment."
"You want to call it that, fine," Steve said coolly, already turning toward the hallway. "But it won't stop you from ending up on a report if you miss another session, which in turn will just make your stay here longer and longer. Let's go, Vitale."
There was no winning. Viv knew that. So he shoved back from the table and stood up with a loud scrape of his chair, dragging his feet the whole way down the hall like a kid getting sent to detention.
His heart hammered harder the closer they got to Dr. Jacobs' door. With every step, his fake story pieced itself together in his head.
Neutral tone. No fidgeting. No weird eye contact. Just enough sadness to pass.
Steve didn't even knock before opening the office door and motioning Viv inside.
"Patient delivery complete," he muttered, then walked off like it was any other day.
Viv stood in the doorway, unsure for a second.
Dr. Jacobs looked up from his notepad, smiling faintly. "Viv. Come in. Have a seat."
Viv stepped in further, forcing himself to stay calm, even as the door clicked shut behind him like a lock.
He dropped into the chair, arms folded across his chest like a barrier. He braced himself for a direct interrogation, but instead, Dr. Jacobs leaned back in his chair and smiled like they were just catching up.
"So," he started casually, tapping his pen once against his knee, "how are you feeling today?"
Viv shrugged. "Fine."
"Good to hear. Any breakfast recommendations for tomorrow? We've been getting some complaints about the soggy toast."
Viv snorted despite himself. "Get a new toaster."
Dr. Jacobs smiled at that. "Noted. What about movie night? I heard tomorrow's is your pick. Got anything in mind for the rec room?"
Viv hesitated. "Something dumb. One of those early 2000s comedies that make no sense. Maybe Dude, Where's My Car? or something."
"Perfect," Jacobs said, scribbling it down like it was the most important thing in the world. "We could all use something dumb."
Viv relaxed slightly in his seat, letting the tension slip from his shoulders, but only for a second. Because then Jacobs looked up again, the pause between words too careful.
"I also... wanted to check in about something," he said slowly. "Josh mentioned you seemed upset after art therapy yesterday. He said you left the room quite abruptly. Stormed out, actually. You said something about visitors."
Viv's jaw tensed. He didn't respond.
Jacobs continued. "So I just wanted to ask. Did someone visit you yesterday?"
Silence stretched out like wire between them.
Viv's throat felt tight. He kept his eyes on the carpet. "Why are you asking that?"
"Because he mentioned that you were annoyed somebody came to visit you, but it's not on the visitor log," Jacobs said gently. "And I wanted to hear it from you first."
Viv's fingers curled tightly around his arm. His mind raced with what he could say, what would make him sound stable. Not delusional. Not like he was back at square one. "I..." he started, then clamped his mouth shut.
Dr. Jacobs let the silence stretch, just long enough to let Viv sit in it without drowning. His gaze was steady, calm, like he had all the time in the world. "Whatever it is, Viv, you can say it. You know this is all in confidence, right?"
Viv pressed his nails into the inside of his palm, hard enough to leave dents. He kept his voice low, steady, and flat as he thought of a lie. "I was just... pissed, I guess."
"You were angry? Why?"
"Because I didn't get any visitors yesterday," Viv said quickly, hoping his face didn't twitch as he lied straight to his therapists face.
Jacobs raised an eyebrow slightly. "You didn't? But Josh said that you—"
"I think he misunderstood me," Viv interrupted quickly, shrugging like it didn't matter even though it did.
"Nobody came to visit me yesterday and I was pissed off and ranting about it.
It just kinda got to me, that's all. Everyone else has people who come in and check on them, and I guess I thought maybe—" He broke off, forcing a short breath through his nose.
"I thought maybe someone would come for me too, but nobody did.
I told Josh I didn't want any visitors because I was jealous, that's all. I was just being a brat. I'm sorry."
Jacobs still didn't say anything, but Viv could feel the shift in the air. Like he wasn't quite buying it. So Viv pushed on.
"And I think it'd really help if... if Ash could visit. Like, properly. I don't care about anyone else, honestly. I just miss them."
Dr. Jacobs then gave a small nod, still watching him closely. "Okay. I hear that, but you know why they can't, right?"
"Not really," Viv muttered. "It's a dumb rule."
"It's not a rule per say, but we just think it would be best if—"
"Yeah, but you guys always think you know what's best for me. Maybe I just want my partner to come and visit me for a fucking hour. How's that?" Viv snapped back.
Dr.Jacob's was quiet.
Viv forced himself to hold the therapist's gaze for another second, then looked away, jaw tight.
If he could just keep the rest of it buried, maybe this wouldn't spiral into another psych eval.
Maybe they wouldn't start questioning his meds again or write something down that would keep him here longer.
He wasn't lying, not really. He did want to see Ash. He was angry no one visited. The rest... he could keep to himself.
Dr. Jacobs leaned back in his chair a little, folding his hands in his lap. His voice lost its casual tone. "Viv, I have to ask... have you experienced any other schizophrenic episodes lately? Any hallucinations since we last checked in?"
Viv didn't even blink. "No."
Jacobs tilted his head. "You're sure?"
"Yeah."
"Nothing unusual at all? No voices? No people who weren't really there?"
Viv pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth and forced himself to stay steady. "No. I've been fine."
Jacobs studied him for a long second, like he was waiting for a crack. "It's important that you're honest with me. You know that, right?"
Viv nodded slowly. "I am being honest."
"Viv..."
"I swear, Dr. Jacobs. I've been doing everything right. The meds, the food, the stupid group therapy! Seriously, i'm doing everything." He crossed his arms, feeling like his skin was buzzing. "I wouldn't lie to you. Not now."
Another pause. Jacobs's eyes narrowed a touch, but then he sighed and finally nodded.
"Well," he said, flipping open the folder in his lap and glancing over a few notes, "from what I'm seeing here, your treatment does seem to be stabilising you.
You've been more engaged in therapy. Your medication adherence is consistent.
And aside from a few emotional flare-ups, your episodes seem to have calmed significantly. "
Viv swallowed hard, trying not to let the flicker of hope show too much.
Jacobs closed the folder and looked up at him again. "If things continue this way for the next few days, and we see no new concerns, I think it's time we start preparing you for discharge."
Viv's heart slammed in his chest. "Wait... seriously?"
Jacobs gave him the smallest smile. "Seriously. You've come a long way, Viv. We're not expecting perfection, just progress. You've definitely shown that. As long as you agree to still do some outpatient treatment and therapy, I don't see any other reason to keep you in here."
Viv didn't know what to say. Part of him wanted to laugh. Part of him wanted to cry. Mostly, he just nodded, a little dazed, like the words hadn't landed properly yet.
Discharged.
A matter of days.
That meant he'd be free.
That meant he could see Ash.