Epilogue
3 months later
Viv groaned as Ash shoved him hard in the shoulder.
"Get up," Ash hissed, their voice barely louder than a whisper. "I think my mom's awake. You need to get back to your room."
Viv cracked one eye open, disoriented by the early light filtering through the curtains. "Are you serious?"
Ash was already pulling the covers off him. "Dead serious. I heard footsteps."
Viv let out a dramatic sigh, flopping back against the pillow. "Why do we live like fugitives in our own house?"
"Because I don't feel like having the 'boundaries' talk over breakfast again," Ash muttered, dragging Viv by the wrist toward the edge of the bed. "Come on, V. Not that I don't love you, but I love my freedom more. Now get out."
"But you're comfy."
"I know I am, but still."
Viv heaved a sigh. "Five more minutes."
"No!" Ash exclaimed. "Out. Now."
Still grumbling under his breath, Viv shoved his hoodie over his head and padded out of the room, tugging the door closed behind him with a barely audible click. The hallway was dim and quiet, but his heart still thudded stupidly in his chest like he was about to be caught breaking curfew.
He turned the corner, rubbing sleep out of his eyes, and nearly walked straight into Brad.
Brad stood outside the bathroom, shirtless, a toothbrush hanging out the corner of his mouth and his hair sticking up in every direction. He blinked once at Viv, then slowly rolled his eyes.
Viv froze.
Brad pointed the toothbrush at him, foam collecting at the edges of his mouth. "Third time this week, Romeo," he mumbled, voice muffled.
Viv gave an exaggerated shrug. "What can I say? Your sibling's magnetic."
Brad didn't respond, just turned and walked back into the bathroom, shaking his head like he was already too tired to deal with this level of teenage drama before 7am.
Viv snorted softly to himself and crept back into the guest room, flopping onto the bed and pulling the covers over his head, already counting down the hours until he could crawl back into Ash's.
Ash's mom knocked gently on the door. "Viv? Breakfast is ready, sweetheart."
He flinched slightly at the sound of her voice, then sat up and scrubbed a hand over his face. "Coming," he called back, doing his best to sound like he hadn't just been caught sneaking around.
By the time he made it downstairs, Ash and Brad were already at the table, halfway through bowls of cereal and slices of toast. Ash glanced up from their mug of tea and offered him a lazy smile, eyes warm but calm, like they hadn't just shoved him out of bed in a panic ten minutes ago.
Brad barely looked up, focused on slathering another slice of bread with butter.
Viv slid into his usual chair and tried to act normal. "Morning."
"Good morning," Ash echoed, nudging a plate of toast in his direction.
He took a bite of the slightly burnt toast and chewed in silence, letting the low murmur of the news on the kitchen radio fill the gaps. The clink of cutlery. The scrape of a chair leg. Just a regular morning.
Then Viv spoke, trying to keep his voice even. "I've got another flat viewing this afternoon."
Ash's head shot up, eyes bright. "Which one?"
"The one near the park. The third floor one. It's cheap and doesn't smell like cigarettes, so that's a plus."
Ash's grin grew. "I'm coming."
Viv raised an eyebrow. "You don't have to. It's boring."
"I want to," Ash said, already leaning forward like they were getting excited just thinking about it. "I like seeing places with you. Plus, you'll need a second opinion in case it turns out the bathroom walls are made of cardboard or something."
Brad snorted.
Viv looked down at his toast to hide the way his lips twitched into a small smile. "Alright," he said. "You're in."
Ash beamed and kicked him gently under the table. "Good. I was going to come even if you said no, by the way."
Viv rolled his eyes, but the warmth in his chest betrayed him.
He couldn't help it. It still caught him off guard sometimes, how easy this felt.
Sitting around a breakfast table, half-listening to Brad grumble about the weather while Ash made exaggerated faces at their toast. It felt domestic.
Familiar in a way Viv hadn't let himself imagine when he was locked up in the hospital.
Ash's mom came bustling in from the garden door, setting down a basket of herbs on the counter. "Did you boys want a lift later?"
Viv looked up, surprised. "Uh, no, it's okay. It's not far. We'll probably just walk."
"Alright, darling. Let me know if you change your mind." She smiled and started humming under her breath as she put the herbs away.
Ash leaned in close enough to whisper. "We should get ice cream after."
Viv raised a brow. "Why?"
"Because apartment viewings are depressing and ice cream is not." They gave him a smug look and sipped their tea like that settled it.
Viv shook his head, laughing under his breath. "Fine. But only if you're paying."
Ash grinned. "I would always pay for you."
Brad made a dramatic gagging sound. "You two are unbearable in the mornings."
"You're just jealous," Ash said sweetly.
"Of what? Waking up to Viv's hair looking like a dying hedgehog?"
Viv flipped him off and Ash choked on their tea from laughing too hard. It was stupid. It was chaotic. It was loud. And somehow, it was everything Viv hadn't known he needed.
Two hours later, Viv and Ash were walking side by side, hands brushing occasionally but never fully holding. The streets were quiet, the kind of sleepy early afternoon where even the pigeons looked tired.
"Okay, so," Ash said, reading from their phone, "this one's on the second floor, one bedroom, 'cosy but bright,' which is usually code for tiny but not a total shoebox."
"Everything here's tiny unless you're a millionaire."
Ash shot him a look. "Are you not a secret millionaire?"
Viv shrugged dramatically. "Guess you'll never know."
The building was nothing special, just an old brick structure with ivy creeping up one side, paint flaking from the window sills. The stairwell smelled faintly of dust and something that might've been old curry. Viv tried not to judge it yet.
Inside, the apartment opened into a small but open-plan living space.
The windows stretched wide across the front wall, letting in a wash of natural light that hit the laminate floors with surprising warmth.
There was a kitchenette tucked into one corner, and a battered grey sofa that had definitely seen better days.
The bedroom was decent sized. Not as big as the guest bedroom at Ash's house, but also not small enough to seem suffocating. Inside was a double bed, a wardrobe, and a small desk. It was clean and quiet.
Viv let out a soft sigh and leaned against the doorframe, scanning the room. "It's not terrible."
Ash wandered in behind him, flopping dramatically onto the bed. "I've slept in worse. Like, that motel with the weird stains on the carpets. Do you remember it?"
Viv winced. "Don't remind me."
Ash propped themselves up on one elbow, looking around. "You could make this nice, though. Plants. Posters. Maybe a rug. That candle you like that smells like lavender."
Viv nodded slowly. "I wish you could live with me."
Ash glanced at him, smile softening. "Yeah," they said. "Me too."
There was a pause, filled with quiet street noise from the cracked window.
"But alas," Ash continued with a dramatic groan, "I remain chained under the oppressive thumb of my mother. Tragic, really."
"You say that like she's got you in a basement somewhere," Viv said, raising an eyebrow.
Ash flopped back with a sigh. "Emotionally, yes."
Viv chuckled, but the truth lingered in his throat. He didn't want to say it out loud, but the idea of going to sleep in this place alone, without Ash's sleepy mumbling next to him or their cold feet against his shins, made his chest tighten.
He sat down beside them and bumped their knee. "Maybe someday."
Ash opened one eye and gave him a look. "You better not find a hot new roommate before then."
"No promises," Viv said, "But I'll save a drawer for you."
The door creaked open and the letting agent, who was a thin man with a combover and a clipboard, stepped inside with a polite smile. "Sorry to keep you waiting. So?" He clapped his hands once, the sound too sharp for the small space. "What do you think?"
Viv stood up straighter. His eyes swept the room once more, the faint cracks in the ceiling, the sun-drenched floorboards, the humming radiator. It wasn't perfect, but it was his kind of imperfect.
"I'll take it," he said, with more confidence than he expected from himself.
The agent's smile widened. "Great! Let's go over the rent and deposit, then." He flipped to a page on the clipboard, reading off, "So monthly rent will come to 670, bills not included. Deposit up front is one month's rent, standard."
Ash blinked. "Six seventy?"
Viv glanced at them, saw the way their brow pinched. But he nodded calmly. "Yeah. That's fine."
Ash turned to him. "Are you sure? That's, uh...kind of a lot."
Viv offered a small, almost smug smile. "I'm making decent money at the restaurant now. Tips are good. I've been saving."
Ash looked like they wanted to argue for a second, maybe point out that Viv always pretended to be broke when they were out, or that his shoes were still two years old and falling apart. But instead, they just closed their mouth and gave a tiny nod.
"You really want this place?" Ash asked quietly.
Viv glanced around again, then looked back at them. "Yeah. It will be fine."
The letting agent, oblivious to the weight of the moment, launched into a monologue about paperwork and ID checks and the soonest available move-in date, but Viv only half-listened.
His focus was still on Ash and the little crease of worry in their brow, the way their arms were crossed a little too tightly.
Once the agent left, he sat back down next to his partner on the bed. He bumped their shoulder gently. "You'll come over all the time, right?"
Ash rolled their eyes, but the tension softened. "Try and stop me."
As the letting agent ducked into the tiny kitchenette to take a call, Ash turned to Viv, their voice lower now, steadier. "Hey. Be real with me for a second."
Viv raised a brow. "I'm always real with you."
Ash gave him a look. "Don't pull that crap. Is this really what you want? Or are you just rushing to move out because you feel like you have to?"
Viv hesitated.
Ash pressed, softer this time. "Because if this is just you trying to prove something, to me, to yourself, to your mom and mine, then whatever. it's okay to take more time. You don't have to do everything at once just because you feel like you need to."
Viv scratched the back of his neck. "It's not that."
Ash didn't speak. They waited.
Viv let out a slow breath. "Okay... maybe a little bit of it is that. I mean, I hate feeling like I'm just... crashing in your mom's house. Like I don't belong. Like I'm just borrowing your life."
Ash's face softened, but they didn't interrupt.
Viv continued, quieter. "But mostly, I want this.
I want my own space. I want to hang my own shit on the walls.
I want to wake up and not have to sneak out of your room like some dirty secret.
I want to start something that's mine. And I want you in it, obviously.
All the time, if I can get away with it. "
Ash looked at him for a long moment. "Okay," they said finally. "Then I'll help you make it feel like home."
Viv smiled, small but certain. "You already do."
Ash leaned his head forward until there was barely space between them. The letting agent's voice echoed faintly from the kitchen, but it might as well have been miles away.
"I can't for you to move in. I wanna be here so bad," Ash said, their voice quiet but sure. "Not just in your apartment. In everything. Wherever you go."
Viv blinked, his throat thick. "You mean that?"
Ash huffed a tiny laugh. "I've seen you cry in a hospital bed, Viv. I've kissed your stupid tears away. I've listened to you snore when you claim not to, and I've listened to you scream and rant about how much you hate humanity. I mean it. Wherever you go, I wanna go too."
Viv didn't say anything. He just kissed them. It was slow, full of something solid and bright. Like laying bricks. Like saying this is where we start, and nothing is falling apart this time.
Ash's hands found Viv's, and their forehead pressed against each other. "You're really gonna be okay," they whispered. "You know that, right?"
Viv nodded. "I do know that. Especially now."
Outside the window, traffic hummed and the city stretched itself into another long afternoon.
Viv and Ash stood up and walked out of the bedroom together.
Viv then looked around the mostly empty living room.
He saw the scuffed floorboards, the off-white walls, the window that barely let in any light, and for once, he didn't feel like a guest in his own life.
He saw a bookshelf in the corner, full of the books Ash always stole from Brad.
He saw canvases lined up by the wall, splattered with colour.
He saw Ash's journal laying around on a coffee table with too many coffee stains in it.
He saw shoes by the door, mismatched and lived in.
He saw the start of something good. Something solid.
Ash nudged his shoulder. "You're gonna need a better kettle."
Viv smirked. "Yeah, well. Guess I'll need someone to help me pick one out."
Ash grinned. "Guess you will."
They stood like that for a while, side by side in the empty room, their fingers knotted together. The world outside kept spinning. Rent would be due, bills would pile up, arguments would happen, and some days would still feel heavy and slow.
But right now? Right now was enough.
And for the first time in a long time, Viv wasn't afraid of what came next.