Chapter 22
CHAPTER 22
“ T his is a terrible idea,” Eryx says as the four of us stand outside the entrance to Zanita’s.
“Yeah, he’s going to kill someone,” Argus says unhelpfully.
“He’s not going to kill anyone,” I say. “That’s why you two are here. To make sure that doesn’t happen. If you can’t do that, then I see no reason for you to be here.”
A look of panic crosses Dyson’s face. “We can do that. We are the best at that! We absolutely need to be here.”
“Then let’s not delay any longer.”
“Wait,” Eryx says, staying me with an outstretched hand. “How is this going to work? What exactly do you intend to do?”
“Just relax and follow my lead. I have already devised the perfect cover story.”
“Yeah,” Dyson says. “Chrysantha has thought this all through. You should really be more trusting.”
“And you should stop thinking with your prick,” Eryx fires back.
“If Chrysantha can help you get this under control, you can start thinking with yours!”
“Dyson!” Argus bellows before Eryx has the chance.
“What? It’s not like he wouldn’t be more fun to be around once he can finally get some of that pent-up energy out of his system.”
Eryx looks ready to swing his fist, so I step forward and take his arm.
“If anything starts to go poorly, we’ll leave immediately,” I offer.
“What if I’m exposed?”
“That’s the point!” Dyson shouts.
“Not that kind of exposure.”
“There isn’t a soul in here who we can’t buy off,” I offer. “And most will explain away anything unusual in terms they can understand. The servants at the manor have already done so on your behalf. Now come along, Your Grace. We have an heir to make.”
“Wh-what!” he stammers as I open the front door and step through.
It is just as I remember, from the sensual candlelight to the sweet fragrance of roses. Many of my past lovers sit back on cushioned seats or take strolls about the room. It would seem Zanita has even acquired some new workers.
“Welcome,” Zanita says. “I’m Zanita. What can we do for you?”
I appreciate that she pretends she doesn’t know who I am, though it’s hardly necessary in this case.
“Hello, Zanita. It’s been a while. I’ve gotten myself married since the last time I saw you.”
“Is this the lucky man?” she asks, turning toward Eryx. She doesn’t bat an eyelash at my announcement.
“He is, and I’m afraid we need some help.”
“Of course. Are you looking for a third? It is one of the few exceptions we make to servicing male clients.”
Pushing aside my pride, I pull forth the lie. “Actually, the problem is my husband doesn’t find me attractive enough to perform. We need to produce an heir. I’m hoping you have a woman who can help him get in the right mindset so I can then take over.”
The madam eyes my face and figure before turning to the duke. “You like fair-haired women, then?”
Eryx is speechless, likely still reeling from my explanation.
“Precisely,” I say for him.
“I think I have just the girl for you. I will explain the situation to her and send her up. Here.” The madam hands us a key from her ring. “You will take room thirty-seven. Your men will need to wait outside the room.” She eyes the “valets” warily. “I have my own staff on standby should anything go poorly.”
“That won’t be necessary,” I assure her. “The men will wait outside.”
“What?” Dyson says, looking up from a woman he’d been eyeing.
I take the key. “Let’s go.”
I lift my skirts as I take the stairs, three men trailing behind me.
“Of all the— This is such a stupid plan,” Eryx says. “We’re paying a woman to—”
“Get you impassioned. Then we can practice. It’s such a clever ruse I’ve thought up, isn’t it? She can come in and out of the room as many times as necessary. And we can return as long as we need to. It can take a while to produce an heir, you know.”
“I don’t want to become impassioned.”
“Do you want to get a grip on the monster? Do you want to continue your life this way?”
We reach door thirty-seven. “Don’t let him stray,” I say to Argus, obviously referring to Dyson. “You two have a job to do.”
“Understood.”
Unlocking the door, I step foot inside, and Eryx reluctantly follows. I try not to laugh at the pink wallpaper, crisp white blankets and pillows, or sweet-smelling fragrance. Eryx must loathe it, but he doesn’t say a word. I don’t think he’s really even seeing our surroundings.
“You could try looking less unapproachable. You’ll scare the woman away before we can get started.”
“Maybe I don’t want to be approached.”
“This is the only way. You said you didn’t want me bringing out the monster with words, so now we’re stuck with option B. Once you get this under control, you can go to a brothel for real. Besides, it’s been far too long for me. I intend to make use of this place after we’re done here for the night.”
“What?” he asks, his whole body tightening.
“You will recall that I had to stop visiting because you cut off my stipend. Now that it’s returned, I don’t intend to spend tonight alone when we’re already here.”
“No.” The word is low, fierce, and demanding.
I spin toward him. “Hmm?”
“You’re not staying the night here. I’m not doing this. We’re not doing this. This is outrageous.”
“Eryx, what do you—”
He stomps to the door, opens it a crack. “Change of plans. Send the girl away when she gets here. We’ll be using the room, though. No questions. You two spend the evening however you think is best.”
“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Dyson says at the same time Argus manages, “But—”
Eryx slams the door and locks it before turning back to me. When he does so, his eyes have shifted to amber. “Why do we need another woman in the room when you and I can manage just fine on our own?”
My heart speeds up at the words, and I have to swallow before speaking. “Because you couldn’t pay me enough money to do that job.” The words come easily, but the force behind them is somewhat lacking.
“Really,” Eryx says. He prowls toward me like a panther.
I back away slowly, but there’s not far for me to go. “Yes, I detest you. I’m only doing this for selfish reasons. There’s no reason for me to give any more than I already have. You’ve taken enough from me as it is.”
My back hits a wall and Eryx’s arms come down on either side of me. He leans forward just as his horns sprout from his head. His lips trail across my neck before coming up to my ear. My hands instinctively curl around his arms, I thought for the purpose of pushing him away, but they simply hold on.
“I don’t need another woman in this room to consummate our marriage. I don’t want anyone else in this room with us.” He hovers over my lips but doesn’t touch me again.
“That was just a story.”
“A pitiful one at that. The madam almost didn’t believe it. As if anyone would need help with such a thing when it comes to you. Have you seen yourself?” His lips skim the top of my head. “Silky raven hair.” They reach my forehead. “Golden skin.” He kisses a closed eyelid. “Brown eyes that sparkle when you’ve something mischievous to say.” He hovers above my mouth again. “Ruby lips.”
Still he doesn’t kiss me.
I open my eyes, thinking perhaps he’s moved, but his face is still right there.
“I know my secret is safe with you, so let me assure you that your secret is safe with me,” he whispers.
“What secret is that?”
He licks his lips. “That you like me.”
“I do not.”
“The doctor and I had an interesting chat before he left today. You told me a wicked lie.”
“I—”
He kisses me then, and I don’t even try to push him away. Because he knows. He knows, and that means I can’t pretend anymore. Not with him, and not even with myself.
I can’t deny it: I want him.
Just right now. Just for tonight. Let me have him before I get rid of him once and for all.
And once the decision is made, I let go.
Forget about the money or the manor or anything else. In this room, there is just this man and me. This man who is also a monster. My fingers slide through his hair, bumping up against the root of a horn, and for some reason that only makes this more exciting. Because I am taming this beast. This beast wants me.
And gods —I want him.
I kiss him with everything I have, but it doesn’t seem to be enough. His kisses don’t soothe. They set me aflame. I might combust right here if he doesn’t do something.
But he doesn’t attempt to remove my clothes. He barely touches me with his hands, as though he’s too scared to break me. How hard is he fighting to keep the monster in check? And what might happen if he finally let go?
The thought is thrilling, and I step away, prepared to tell him to throw caution to the wind.
But seeing him, I realize that there is still something I need from him. The final piece of the puzzle to getting rid of him, and my body is the only incentive I have at this point for obtaining it. Once he has me, he won’t give up anything more.
“You’re holding back,” I say.
He blinks through a sensual haze, likely reining in his instincts. “So are you. I have a monster to keep in check. What’s your excuse?”
I pull out my acting skills, let them wash over me. “I’m sorry about the laudanum lie.”
“You weren’t ready for me to know you actually wanted me.”
“I wasn’t.”
“And now?”
“I want you.”
His eyelids flutter at the admission, as though he wants to close his eyes and savor the words. “But?” he asks.
Nothing , I wish to say. My body yearns to make him mine.
I ignore what it wants. “But there are still too many secrets between us. I will not have you when I don’t fully know you. I want all of you. Not only the parts you think I can handle.” The words come to me so effortlessly, as though I’m not even consciously thinking them up.
“Then let’s fix that,” he suggests.
“What do you mean?”
“We lay it all out there in the open. All our secrets.”
“What, now?” I ask.
“No.” He chuckles. “I can’t think straight right now. I need to cool off first. But soon.”
“Tomorrow?” I ask, putting a tone of hopefulness into my voice.
“All right. Tomorrow. We’ll go somewhere. Just you and me.”
Victory surges throughout my limbs. “I’d like that.”
“Me too.”
I clasp my hands in front of me, not sure what to do with them now. Within me, hunger and triumph still fight to come out on top.
“Take the carriage back to the manor,” Eryx offers. “I need a moment to myself.”
“How will you get home?”
“I’ll manage.”
“All right.”
I turn around, but before I reach the door, there’s pressure at my wrist. Eryx spins me around and captures my lips in another kiss.
“I’m looking forward to tomorrow,” he says.
“Me too.”
It’s not even a lie.
T HE DUKE IS NOT AT brEAKFAST, but that’s not unusual for him. He promised we’d speak today, and there are many hours in a day. It doesn’t need to happen first thing. So I eat what I can manage through my nerves and excitement.
I sit in the parlor afterward, thinking perhaps Eryx will materialize. He doesn’t.
After fidgeting in an armchair for fifteen minutes, I start walking. I think to perhaps go outside, but that will leave me alone with my thoughts. I think it would be far better to have a distraction.
So I go to the library, where I stumble upon Kyros and Nico.
Kyros sits on one of the lounge chairs, with little Nico in his lap, a book held open between the two of them. At the sight of me, Kyros stands and places Nico on the floor.
“No need for that,” I say. “So sorry to interrupt.”
“Duchess, I found a new frog in the creek today. Papa was helping me to iden-i-fy it.”
“Iden- ti -fy,” Kyros corrects.
“Identify,” Nico repeats. “That means figure out what it’s called.”
“And did you figure it out?” I ask.
“Yes!” Nico grabs the book from where Kyros set it on a side table and rushes over to me.
I bend at the knees to be on his level.
“Look, Duchess. It had stripes on its head just like this picture. It’s a tree frog. Did you know some frogs like to play in trees as well as lakes?”
“I didn’t know that.”
“They’re the tiniest frogs found in our area. The biggest only reach a couple of inches. They can be different colors, but the one I saw was green! Duchess, might I keep this book? I want to identify more frogs.”
“I don’t think that’s a great idea,” Kyros says. “You’re not exactly gentle on books yet, and you might drop it in the creek.”
“I would never drop it! Then how would I identify frogs?”
“He’s welcome to keep it,” I say. “I prefer fiction, so someone ought to find some use out of that one.” Besides, it was part of Pholios’s collection, and I’m happy to give away that old toad’s things.
“Thank you, Duchess!” Nico grips me in a hug and runs off with the book before his father can say anything else about it.
“I hope that was all right?” I ask.
“You spoil him,” Kyros says, but by the way he says it, I know he means it playfully.
“How can you not? He’s the most adorable boy in the world.”
“And he knows it, too.”
I laugh.
“How can I be of service, Chrysantha?” Kyros asks.
“I just came to the library in search of a distraction.” I meant the words harmlessly enough, but Kyros gleans another meaning from them entirely.
“I would happily be a distraction for you.”
I shut my eyes, hoping to feel something, anything at all. Some heat. Butterflies. A tingle.
But this man, kind and sincere as he is, does nothing for me.
It is a wicked man I want.
“I appreciate the offer, both this one and others you’ve made. But I think…” Oh, why is this so hard? “I think I would like things to remain as they are between us. You are a dear friend, Kyros. My closest, perhaps, but I don’t think there is more here for us.”
Even once Eryx is out of the way, it’s not going to change my lack of feelings. Maybe… given enough time, but it’s cruel to keep Kyros waiting.
Kyros smiles sadly. “I understand. I did mean what I said before. I am and always will be your friend. Nothing could change that.”
“You’re too good for me,” I say, and I really, really mean it.
A COUPLE OF HOURS LATER, Doran finds me in the library. I lower the new romance I’d started, about a king and queen whose marriage was arranged, yet they begin to fall for each other.
“Your Grace, the duke has asked that you please join him outside. I believe he has a lakeside outing planned. Possibly a boat ride.”
“All right. Will you please grab my shawl?”
“Of course.”
Once outside, I find Eryx right near the front drive. What’s more, he’s not wearing one of his old outfits. He has on a black coat over a blue vest. Tailored black pants and boots polished to a shine. His hair is slicked back, keeping out of his brown eyes. He doesn’t wear gloves or a cravat, but everything else looks incredible on him. Most adorable of all, he fidgets in place, as though nervous.
“You—you dressed up,” I say.
He startles at the sound of my voice, but at least he doesn’t draw his gun. “You seemed to like it the last time.”
“I did. I do. You look very nice.”
“You look beautiful.” His cheeks heat, and so do mine, and why is everything so strange?
“Shall we?” he asks, extending his arm. I take it with my uninjured one.
We start for the property’s natural lake in silence. It isn’t awkward, exactly, but neither is it relaxed.
We pass by Nico hanging upside down in a tree by his knees. He waves at me with one hand, while the other tries to hold up his shirt from the effect gravity is having on it.
I smile and wave back.
“He’s a handsome child,” Eryx comments. “Curious at times, though. I distinctly heard him mutter the word impostor last time I walked by.”
I turn my snicker into a cough. “He’s learning new words rapidly. He likes to test them out whenever he can. Nico also has an endless curiosity about the world and how things work or what things are called. He likes words and answers to tough questions.”
“You care for him?”
“Of course. How can you not?”
“Perhaps we ought to hire a tutor for him, then. Help him on his way to a brighter future.”
I stop in my tracks, and Eryx is forced to follow suit. “Do you mean that?”
“Of course.”
Two words and I feel tingly all over, like he’s woven some sort of spell on me. How does he keep endearing himself to me? I don’t like it.
The lake comes into view, vast with trees lining the edges. I believe the late duke had fish brought in for sporting some years ago, but no one has used the place in quite some time. It’s beautifully overgrown with cattails and various reeds and tall grasses. Ripples form on the surface, little fishes coming up for bugs.
When we reach the dock, I ask, “Are you isolating me in a boat so I cannot run?”
“You might want to after you hear everything I have to say, but no. I just thought it might be a nice location for an outing. You seem to be outdoors quite a lot, and I have not had a chance to enjoy the lake yet.”
What a… thoughtful observation. Curse him.
A single rowboat is tied off at the end of the dock. A few leaves and twigs have fallen into the base, and Eryx releases me to reach down and scoop them out.
“After you,” he says when done.
He helps me into the boat, which sways a little as I take my seat at the back, facing forward. Eryx takes the other bench, where the oars rest.
“Oh, um, should I call for a footman to take us out?” I ask. “I didn’t even think about—”
“I can row, Chrysantha. I’m not scared off by such labor.”
“I’m not scared of labor.”
“Ah, so you’ve done some, then? Please, do tell.” He uses one oar to turn the boat, until his back is to the lake; then he takes us out.
I rack my brain for one single instance of labor I’ve performed, yet nothing comes to my mind. I pout. “I said I wasn’t scared of it, not that I had done any before.”
He smiles, watching me as he rows.
My eyes flit to his arms, so tight in his jacket sleeves. The way his abdomen bends with each stroke through the water. No one would ever guess he was younger than I. I only remember when I need something to tease him with.
“Wait, I’ve baked in the kitchens with Cook,” I say triumphantly as I remember that working at dough certainly must count. My arms are usually sore the next day.
“I didn’t know you cooked.”
“I bake. I… like sweets.”
“Anyone who says they don’t is a liar.”
“Quite so.”
After only a couple of minutes of rowing, we’ve reached the center. Eryx pulls up the oars and leans back on his hands in the boat as we drift.
“Well, you’ve got me here,” I say. “Alone. Without easy escape. Now what?”
“I suppose we talk.”
“The boat would make it difficult to do anything more.”
He smiles at the joke. It’s rewarding to see his lips turn up. So rare for him. “Then I suppose it’s a good thing I chose it. We’re not going to get distracted.”
“As if I’m helpless to your charms.”
He raises a single brow, as though to question that statement. “Sure you’re not, Miss Laudanum.”
“You’re not going to let that one go, are you?”
“It hurt me, Chrysantha. It’s hard to let it go.”
“I wasn’t ready to admit I liked you.”
“And now?”
“I still admit nothing.”
His smile grows. “It’s going to be awfully hard for us to make sure we’re on the same page if you don’t share anything.”
“Fine.” What’s the point in being all awkward when I’m lying through my teeth to get what I want? “I liked it. There, I said it.”
“Liked what?”
“When you first kissed me. It was a surprise, of course. I thought you hated me. Even more surprising was that I liked it, as I thought I hated you even more.”
“I never hated you. Well, maybe a little. Mostly I hated how easily you got under my skin. How much harder I had to work to keep the monster at bay when you were around.”
“Because I wouldn’t let you get away with your villainy.”
“It’s more than that.”
“What do you mean?”
“Everything about you unleashes him. From your biting words to your hateful looks. The first time I saw you, I barely kept him in check. Not only were you stunning, you held a knife to me.”
“It was a toothbrush. You held a knife to me !”
“Semantics.”
“Hardly.”
“I think we are a good match.”
“If you think fire and oil are a good match.”
“Exactly. Together, we could burn the world down if we wanted to.”
I let my fingers drift below the surface of the water. Eryx is staring at me too intently. I need something else to do.
“What if I don’t want to burn down the world? What if all I want is my quiet country life?”
“Then I’ll burn anyone who tries to take it away from you.”
I arch a brow. “And would you be content with a quiet country life?”
“These last few months are the happiest I have ever been.”
“Because you’ve been murdering noblemen and generals?”
“Does that bother you? The fact that I’ve murdered?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I’m hardly a saint. More than that, though, the first time I met you, I saw something I recognized. I understand a willingness to do whatever it takes to get what you need to survive. There’s something about you that draws me in. I don’t care what you’ve done.”