Chapter 23
CHAPTER 23
I don’t care what you’ve done.
I watch as Eryx processes those words. They settle about him, like a coat that fits just right.
“Are you ready to hear the whole of it, then?”
“I’ve been ready since I first realized you weren’t quite human.”
I rest my hands in my lap and wait. Yet Eryx hesitates.
“If I were to report you to anyone, I would have done it by now.”
“It’s not that. I think you might see me differently after this.”
“That’s not possible. Trust me.” The words taste like poison as they drip from my lips.
He stares at me until his eyes turn amber. Then says, “I do.”
Damn, but guilt is a pesky companion for me today. I wish it were something I could swat away, like an errant bug. But I have to settle for mentally tamping it down.
Eryx takes a deep breath. “My mother was in love with the late Shadow King.”
I allow an expression of surprise to cross my face, even though I know this already from what the investigator has shared with me. “She thought she would be the one to encourage him to give up his shadows. You see, the king’s power is reliant on the lack of touch. So long as he does not allow himself to touch another person, he is immortal and invulnerable, but the moment he allows himself skin-to-skin contact with an individual, his shadows will no longer keep him incorporeal around that person. He is mortal around those he touches. He will start to age as we do. It is only for the greatest, most ardent of loves that the Shadow Kings of the past have given up their powers.”
My skin starts to heat. Is that what my sister has with the current Shadow King? A love that transcends power? I don’t think such a thing can exist.
“But he didn’t choose her,” Eryx continues. “No, he chose the late queen, and my mother didn’t take it well. No, that’s not right. She was destroyed by the rejection. She loved him so much, and when he sent her away, that love turned into an even more powerful hatred. She wanted revenge for her broken heart. And that’s how she had me.”
I know there’s more to it than that, so I wait, patiently, my heart pounding to finally be receiving some real answers.
“Her hatred grew to such depths that she attracted the attention of a demon, a different one than that which granted powers to the Maheras line.”
My eyes widen at the reveal. “One appeared to her?” I clarify.
“He did more than that. He promised her revenge if she lay with him. Thus I was conceived.”
It takes some effort not to allow my mouth to drop open. “Your father was a literal demon?”
“Yes. I was to be her means of finally taking revenge on the late Shadow King, and for the longest time, I believed that was all I was good for. Those early years were… terrible.”
“Tell me,” I encourage.
“I could not control the shift. I was always hungry. I preyed on the local livestock in Dimyros—a small city in Estetia—and when the farmers or other townsfolk saw me in my true form, I had to dispatch them.”
He pauses here, as though waiting for another reaction. Obviously, one doesn’t come.
I ask, “Why did you end up joining the army?”
“It was my mother’s idea. She thought it would hone my killing skills, and I wanted so desperately to please her. When I was fully grown, I was to battle through dozens of soldiers, swarm the palace at Naxos, and kill the Shadow King.”
“But the king died,” I say.
Rebels were led into the palace by the late king’s own son Xanthos Maheras, after the king beat the boy nearly to death for not having the power of the shadows.
“I know,” Eryx says. “When my mother heard the news of the king’s death, she stopped everything. Stopped eating or bathing or caring about anything. She lost her entire purpose for existing. Her entire purpose for me. She let herself die once there was nothing more for her to do in this life.
“I wonder sometimes if that devil knew what would happen. If he knew that the king would die before my mother got the chance to unleash me on him. If he fed off first her need for vengeance, and then her suffering once the king died by other means.”
“Has he ever appeared to you?” I ask. “The devil who sired you?”
“No. He probably has to wait another thousand years before he can build up the strength to appear in our world again. I don’t think or care about him, except that he cost me my mother. He stoked the flames of her anger, led her to the death she fell into.”
A breeze blows across the lake, and a strand of Eryx’s hair falls free from the gel. He reaches up to stroke it back into place.
“I’m so sorry,” I say softly.
“My mother made her choices.”
“That doesn’t mean they didn’t hurt you. Whether your mother was kind or not, that doesn’t mean you didn’t love her.” I reach out and grip his hand in one of mine. He squeezes back.
“I wonder if I would have let her have her way. Would I have done her bidding and killed the late Shadow King for her? I would have been caught or killed, whether in the attempt or after. Her plans were not subtle. She knew that. She didn’t care. I wasn’t a son. I was a gift from a demon for her to control. I’ve come to terms with that.
“I made friends in the army. I had a life outside of what she wanted for me. I was relieved when she passed. I found my own purpose.”
“And what was that?”
He hesitates before answering, “My own vengeance.”
“Against the general?” I ask.
“And others. Men who’ve wronged me.”
“I saw your list. There’s still one name on it, assuming you handled Barlas.”
“I handled Barlas. Argus left an anonymous tip with the constabulary. They’ll find the general’s half-buried body on his property, as well as the murder weapon in Barlas’s study.”
“Good,” I manage. He deserves to spend the rest of his life in prison, if the king doesn’t kill him. “And the last name?”
Eryx looks down at the water. “The Shadow King is the reason good men died. He persists in his search for power, risking lives other than his own. I lost more friends than I saved.”
I think carefully before answering. “It was a job, Eryx. They were paid for their services.”
“You’re defending him? Why? Because he’s family to you now?”
“Maybe it’s because I don’t want to see you killed or behind bars, unlike your mother.”
“I’m not rash like my mother. I wouldn’t storm the gates the way she wanted. I don’t need to be seen. I could do it without ever being caught.”
“Perhaps, but perhaps not. You would risk my happiness by trying.”
Our eyes lock, and it takes him a moment to glean my meaning.
“After everything, you wouldn’t do that to me, would you, Eryx?”
“You want me to give up years of hate for you?”
“I do.”
He looks out at the still water. Were we not trapped on a boat, I think he would pace. His fingers pull at his hair, and it is a full minute before he returns his gaze to mine.
He swallows. “Then consider it done.”
I am shocked by the quick relenting. I thought for sure he would say that he couldn’t. That he wouldn’t. It would make what comes next so much easier.
But he agreed.
And a thought hits me. One I’ve never had before.
What if I didn’t get rid of Eryx Demos?
He does stand between me and everything I’ve ever wanted, but that was before I got to know him. To rely on having him around with his ridiculous hair and pompous attitude and antagonistic nature.
For the first time, I try to imagine what life will be like once he’s actually gone. Just me and the servants and the manor. It’s enough. It’s always been enough.
No more teasing conversations.
No more monster for me to engage with.
No more hearing his laugh.
Gods, and his kisses. No more of that sensual curiosity or amber gaze.
No more of the way he’s looking at me right now.
What if I could be happy with him here?
What if Eryx didn’t put restrictions on me and I was an accomplice to all his schemes? What if we were a team? What if he really did treat me as an equal? What then?
The thought is almost as terrifying as it is exhilarating.
Besides, the rational voice in me thinks, I could always change my mind if he abuses me in any way. I now have the ammunition to go to the king if things change.
“Row us to shore,” I say, my voice low.
Eryx’s eyes don’t leave mine as he obeys.
There is just something intoxicating about a man who knows the true me and wants me anyway. I never talked about anything that mattered with my lovers. Not like I do with Eryx.
He can’t seem to row fast enough, and the suspense makes my muscles coil tighter, just waiting for the moment they can spring free.
Eryx tucks the oars into the boat before managing to exit without the boat rocking even the slightest. He holds a hand down to me, and I take it, letting him help me onto solid ground once more.
I take his face in my hands and pull it down to my level. His lips are still as stone as I press a kiss to them. I keep my hands cupping his cheeks as I wait for him to open his eyes and look at me.
“I do not care one whit that you’re half demon. You could have told me that you were a demon now living on this plane, and I wouldn’t care. That monstrous form is just a part of who you are, and I like it, too. I like all of it. Eryx Demos, liar, murderer, thief, demon. I don’t care.
“This,” I say, and I reach out to touch the skin of his wrist with my fingers. Electric heat flows through me at the contact, just as I knew it would. “This is what I care about. This connection. This understanding. You were made for me.”
Eryx sweeps me off my feet and carries me about twenty feet away from the dock, where the grass has grown thick and green. He lowers himself to the ground, crossing his legs beneath him, and holds me gently in his lap. He adjusts my hurt arm, ensuring it is not in danger of being crushed between us.
Only then does he capture my lips with his own.
The kiss isn’t soft or hesitant. No, Eryx knows what he’s doing now. He plays with my lips, tugging and nipping at them. When I feel a sharp canine brush the tip of my lip, I let out a gasp. Eryx tries to pull away, but I move my hands to the back of his head, pulling him closer instead.
A low hum rumbles up from deep in his chest, something not quite human, and I love the sound of it. I reach out with my tongue, trace his upper lip. When his mouth opens in surprise, I explore the inside of his mouth, too.
Then I’m not in his lap anymore. No, I’m lying on the grass with his body spread over the top of me. With his hands supporting his weight, he leans down to taste me. My fingers are in his hair, and when I feel the smooth hardness of one of his horns, I grip it in a fist. My free hand goes to the other one.
And I roll us.
Straddling him now, I can feel his excitement. Looking down at his face, I can see so clearly his amber eyes, his elongated canines, the deep violet horns.
I bring out the demon in him.
Oh, and he undoubtedly brings out the demon in me.
I do a sweep of the area, ensuring no one is around to see his shift. When my eyes return to Eryx, he swallows.
“You’ve no sense, woman. Are you sure I’m what you want? You still ought to be afraid of me.”
“All this time, I’ve been trying to tell you. It’s you who should be afraid of me.”
My hands go to his vest, making quick work of the buttons, and he freezes beneath me. My eyes meet his, and he doesn’t utter a word of protest, so I continue, moving on to the shirt beneath. It’s come untucked from his pants, and I splay it wide, so my greedy eyes can take in the expanse of his muscled chest. For once I get to see it not in a dream but in the real world.
When I reach down to touch him, his eyes flutter closed. But then his forehead crinkles in concentration, and every muscle in his body goes taut.
“What is it?”
“The beast. I’m trying to keep him contained.”
Those words send a smile to my lips. I bend down to his ear. “Why? Let him out. He doesn’t scare me.”
A choking sound comes from Eryx. “You don’t know what you’re saying. Just pause for a moment while I calm him down.”
Instead, I bend over his body and bite his neck.
His eyes shoot open, glowing brighter than I’ve ever seen before.
“Chrysantha,” he snarls, and before I know it, I’m flipped onto my back once more. Eryx doesn’t hold his weight off me like last time, and I love every inch of him pressed against me.
“Yes?” I ask innocently, but he doesn’t respond.
No, his hands go to the front of my dress, ready to rip it right down the middle.
A breath of air releases from somewhere behind Eryx, and he turns, horns and eyes and teeth still on display.
Kyros stares in horror at the duke, and I can do no more than stare between the two men, waiting to see what will happen.
Eryx stands in one motion, then proceeds to stalk toward Kyros. Because the beast does not retreat, I run after him and throw myself in front of Eryx.
“Get a hold of yourself,” I say.
Those eyes snap down to me, and I do not mistake the look that had been directed at the footman. A need to protect me. To claim me. To remove every other man from his path.
Eryx’s nostril’s flare as he tries to look over my head. I grab him by the horn and pull him back down to my eye level. “Snap out of it,” I demand.
Finally, he closes his eyes, the horns and teeth receding. When I’m certain he’s thinking clearly, I turn, brushing my hands down my skirts, as if I can somehow erase what Kyros just saw. As if the white material weren’t covered in grass stains from our activities.
“Kyros,” I say, and the man meets my gaze before focusing on the duke again.
Eryx reaches down to take my hand in his, clearly still feeling territorial.
“Let her go,” the footman says, finally finding his voice.
“No,” the duke says, the word more beast than human.
“Chrysantha, come here,” Kyros says. “We’ll get you away from him.”
“No,” I say, echoing Eryx’s statement.
“He’s a monster ,” Kyros says.
“He is no such thing.”
“I’ll send for the constabulary.”
“Kyros, no .”
“You’ll be dead before you leave the premises,” Eryx says.
“ No. ” I round on Eryx. “You will not hurt him!”
“He saw me.”
“And he is a member of your staff, paid to keep quiet.”
Eryx shuts his eyes and breathes deeply through his nose, calming himself, searching for reason. “I don’t think that’s necessary,” he finally says. “It’s his word against a duchess’s.” Eryx looks over my head. “You can run for help, but you’ll only end up in a place for lunatics and leave Nico without a father.”
“Are you threatening my son?” Kyros asks, stepping forward.
“No,” Eryx says. “I’m only showing you the realities of what will happen if you start spreading lies about me. Chrysantha likes the child far too much for me to even dream of hurting him.”
“And what about her?” Kyros asks, gesturing to me with a tilt of his head.
“I would never hurt her,” Eryx says.
“It’s a bit late for that. You’ve taken everything from her, or have you forgotten?” The last part of the sentence he directs at me. He shakes his head, as though he can’t stand the sight of me. “The queen sent another letter for you. I thought you would want it right away. Had I known you were indisposed, I never would have come looking for you.”
Kyros tosses the envelope on the ground before stomping back toward the estate.
I bend down to retrieve the letter and pocket it.
My heart pounds so loudly in my ears, I cannot hear the words Eryx is trying to say to me.
Eryx spins me around. “Are you all right?”
“Me? You’re the one who was just discovered!”
“Kyros can do nothing to hurt me.”
“Well, he can to me. He’s my friend. I don’t want him to quit and take Nico with him!”
“What do you want me to do? Bribe him to stay? To forget what he saw?”
“Oh, now you’re open to handing out bribes?”
“Chrysantha, I’ll fix this.”
“No, I will. Do nothing until I talk to him.”
Then I march toward the manor, following after the footman.