CHAPTER FOUR
I push my glasses back up onto my nose as I glance around the optometrist’s waiting room.
I’ve been wearing contacts for years, and a few days ago, after chipping my middle fingernail, I made a tiny slice while taking out my contacts. Of course, I tried wearing them anyway, but they felt like they were trying to murder my eyeballs, so here I am.
I had been meaning to stop in and order some, but the last five weeks have been a blur of work and takeout. Mostly pizza and donuts, if I’m being honest.
I think I’m in a slump since the breakup.
I’ve been waiting about five minutes for my eye appointment.
From the moment I walked in, I noticed him. Of course, I would notice the one guy my age in the room. I can spot a dude from across the room. It’s like I have tunnel vision lately, but that’s not the reason I’m here. I laugh to myself. On the inside, of course, a bad joke. From the moment I walked in, I’ve caught him glancing my way several times.
I think when you’re single, you just know when others are single too. It’s a vibe—like I can feel their single energy. It’s been a long time since I’ve dated, and although I have been in the same old routine for the last month, I have definitely been awakened by the sight of men. I’m not boy-crazy or anything. I haven’t spoken to any of them, but I feel it. I rub my hands together, warming them up.
Anyway, this guy has been looking at me on and off for the last five minutes. Of course, I wouldn’t come out and say anything. I am the worst at flirting, as awkward as they come.
The receptionist stops in front of me with her giant clipboard. “Sofia?”
Man, she looks amazing in those cat eye eyeglasses. I wish I could pull them off. I see the guy glance my way again.
“Yeah, that’s me. I have an appointment with Dr. Scott,” I say, and then, against my better judgment, take a not-so-casual glance at the cute guy.
He has gorgeous, thick, dark hair. Mm, it has been a long time since I ran my hands through someone’s hair. Okay, so maybe this trip to the eye doctor is exactly what I need to get me out of my funk. I feel butterflies, or maybe it’s gas from all the cheese I ate at lunch.
“Okay, Dr. Scott will be ready shortly. Can I just confirm your address?” She peers at me through those chic red frames.
“Yup,” I reply and push my cute purple glasses back up my nose.
I really hate wearing glasses in the summer. The heat makes them all sweaty on my face, and they slide down my nose. Just another thing to make me irritable. I won’t forget to stock up on my contacts again. I should probably get these tightened while I’m here, too.
After confirming the address, she confirms the phone number, reading it out loud.
“Okay, it won’t be long.” The receptionist turns and starts back for her desk.
The guy with the dark hair looks my way. “So, when is a good time to call?” he asks, his lips opening up to a wide smile, showing a dimple on his left cheek.
Of course, he has a dimple. His eyes are gleaming. I see his large hands grasping the arms of the rigid plastic chair under him.
An awkward laugh escapes my mouth. I’m caught off guard. Is he really talking to me? He laughs nervously. There really is only one other person in the waiting room, and he must be about eighty, so yeah, Sofia, he is talking to you. This is like in the books I read or the movies I watch where people meet someone at the grocery store or in line for their morning coffee.
Say something, Sofia .
I look at him. He is looking at me, waiting for a response. His smile is slowly fading the longer I take to reply. I can feel my cheeks turning pink. I smile back with a smile I can only assume makes me look as weird as I feel.
Can he hear my heart beating? I can feel it pounding in my chest, anxiety rolling in.
Think of something, come on, anything!
It just has to be words Sof, any word. One word!
Why can’t I think of a single thing to say? He starts to look away. I uncross my legs and sit up straighter.
What the hell, Sofia?
I feel like all these little butterflies are fluttering around in my stomach and not the good kind. The kind that also makes you sweat and gives you a dry mouth. To be honest, I don’t know how I have managed to date at all before Jake. I am one of those people who says “Thanks!” when someone says “Hi.”
Great, now I’m getting nervous gas. My stomach grumbles.
A teenage boy walks into the reception room, and I turn to him. The guy, who could have been the man of my dreams but now I will never know, stands up and walks over to him. Okay, he is obviously his brother. He walks up to the reception counter and says something I can’t hear. I can’t believe I could not think of a single word to say. Smooth, Sofia, smooth.
For someone whose friends constantly laugh at her for being such a romantic and loving love, I sure have no game. The guy turns and glances at me once more before opening the door and walking out.
Fuck.
It’s not like I get asked out every day by a tall, dark, and handsome man with a dimple.
“Sofia Daria?” I look up from playing with a hangnail on my thumb. Dr. Scott waves to me from across the room. Geez, do all the women who work here look like sexy librarians? I’m feeling slightly jealous.
* * *
The next morning, I pulled up to work and see Ben getting out of his car. He stops and waits for me.
“Good morning,” I say, handing him a coffee.
I don’t drink coffee very often, but sometimes, a morning just calls for it, and I know Ben likes his morning coffee black.
He takes the coffee. “Hey, thanks.”
We start up the back stairs and make our way into the building.
“You finally bought some contacts, I see,” he says, eyeing me.
“Yeah, thank God. Those glasses were getting on my nerves,” I say, turning into the bookstore. He touches his own glasses as if suddenly aware of them.
“I don’t know. I think you looked kind of hot in them,” he remarks, winking at me and shrugging his shoulders as he makes his way around me.
I freeze, startled by his comment, and say nothing as he continues to walk toward the plant shop. I shake it off. I don’t know what’s with him lately and his winking. Maybe he’s got a new tic, a stress tic.
I feel a little more alive today than I have in weeks. I have my coffee, the new novel I’m reading that I just can’t seem to put down, and Briar and Lucy are going to stop in and see me today at the store. As I’m setting my stuff up, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror behind the counter.
After my eye appointment yesterday afternoon, I stopped at that new boutique that Ben had told me about. I bought this amazing dress that cost a small fortune, but it’s perfect. It fits like a glove from the top to my waist, sort of like a ’60s housewife vibe, before flowing into a big skirt. The best part about it is the print. The material feels thick but soft to the touch, and the print is covered in books and cats. Two of my favorite things in this world.
Bob, for sure, is one of my faves. He seemed to like my dress this morning since I caught him trying to make his bed on it when I came out of the shower. That’ll teach me to lay out my clothes in the morning.
The morning passes by quickly. I restocked my display table. Beach reads - one of the most popular genres we sell, especially at this time of year, when everyone’s tired of the cold and looking forward to spring, summer heat, beaches, and ice cream.
Mm… ice cream.
I’m just taking out my laptop to check my personal email when I see Lucy and Briar come in. Ben follows them and smiles when our eyes meet.
“Hey, lady!” Lucy calls out, making herself at home at one of the tables.
“Hey guys,” I greet them with a smile and come around the counter to show off my new dress. Lucy loves fashion, so I twirl.
“Sof, wow, you look amazing in that! Where did you get that dress?” Lucy asks.
I can see Ben looking me up and down. I suddenly feel shy. Why is he looking at me that way? I turn back to Lucy and Briar. Maybe it’s all part of his new tic. I should probably tell him about it, in case he’s unaware he is doing it. I would want to know if I was randomly winking at people, unaware.
“Thanks, I got it at this new shop down the street. You guys have to check it out!” I exclaim, thinking it probably is my new favorite store.
Briar and Lucy both sit. Ben stays for a bit, catching up with both of them while I place a few more books on the display table and help a few customers who come in.
I’m behind the counter when I see a new email pop up on my screen. It’s from Miriam, the editor I worked for at Lace you have to be careful, and you’re not exactly a serial dater. You might be a bit too naive for online dating,” he finishes, looking proud of his lecture.
“You don’t think I can tell a bad guy from a good one?” I ask him, getting a little annoyed at his lack of trust in me.
He’s probably right, although I won’t admit that to him. I’ve never been on a date with someone I met online. I would have no idea what I’m doing, but his lack of faith in me is kind of irritating.
Lucy looks at me. “It’s only going to be a month or two. What do you have to lose?”
Briar is smiling and nodding her head.
“I will think about it,” I say. “It’s Tuesday. I have a few days before I need to respond to Miriam.” I turn and smile saying hi to a customer who has just walked in.
“Sleep on it tonight, but I mean it, Sofia. You need to get back out there. Remember that fortune, ‘You miss out on one hundred percent of the opportunities you don’t take.’”
I tuck my hair behind my ear once again. She’s right.
* * *
I get home around 6:00 p.m., and Bob is waiting for me at the door. He’s waiting for his soft food.
“Hi, Bob, look at you, you’re so cute.”
Bob makes his way to the kitchen, sits in front of the fridge, lifts his right paw, and looks up at me. My God, this cat knows how to pull off Puss in Boots . What a cutie. I look over at his food bowls.
“Bob, how many times do I have to tell you to stop throwing your food on the floor?” I exclaim a little too loudly.
The look on his face shows that he couldn’t care less what my thoughts were on him throwing his food on the floor. I feed Bob his chicken pate and hold back my gag reflex as I spoon it into a small bowl. I take out the leftover sub from last night and make my way to the living room. I peel out some of the lettuce that’s turned soggy, and I prop my feet up on the table. I turn on last night’s episode of The Bachelorette . I spend the next two hours watching TV. Bob is now cuddled up next to me.
Maybe Lucy and Briar are right. I mean, I know there is absolutely nothing wrong with some self-care or alone time, but maybe there is such a thing as too much alone time.
Bob rolls off my hip as I get up from the couch, clearly annoyed with my sudden movement. I take my vision board out from the hall closet and sit back down with it in my hands. I see all the things I want to do this year. I really do want to travel, take dance lessons, and try new things. I want to go to a football game, write at a coffee shop as they do in the movies for hours sipping coffee, and spend more time outdoors.
I think I have made my decision. I’m going to do it. What’s the worst that could happen… I fall in love?