CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
I spotted her as soon as I walked into the bookstore.
An island princess, maybe? Someone who looks like a cross between Barbie’s BFF and an exotic fire dancer. I nod to Emily, who’s talking to another customer. I place my bag under the counter, and when I look up, my eyes meet hers, and I am lost in a sea of green haze. I think I just got my first girl crush.
“Hi,” I say. “Is there anything I can help you find?”
She smiles, showing pearly white teeth through large, red-stained lips with a speckle of glitter. I notice her long, dainty fingers as she presses the novel she’s holding tight against her chest.
“I found what I was looking for,” she says. “But thanks.”
She continues to browse the shelf in front of her. I force myself to turn away. Let’s not be a creeper today, Sofia. But isn’t this just one woman appreciating another woman’s beauty? Meh, I’ve got things to do. I turn to my phone and see a text from Alex. We’ve chatted a few times since Sunday, and he came into the store yesterday and hung out for a bit. I introduced him to Ben, and they got along right away. Ben talked about plants, Alex talked about video games, and then they went at it, discussing superheroes and which was stronger and faster. I got bored and left them to it. The store got busy after that, and before I had a chance to talk to Ben, it was closing time, and he was gone when I locked up.
I’m opening up my laptop when the beautiful creature of a woman places two books on the counter.
I scan them and hand them back to her. Before I can ask her how she is paying, she takes out her debit card. I hand her the machine to tap, and the receipt prints out.
I’m just about to wish her a good day when I see Ben stroll in behind her.
“Hey, Sofia.” He smiles over her head.
“Hi,” I say as I notice the green in the woman’s eyes grow bright with excitement. Clearly, someone liked what she saw when shopping for plants. I can’t blame her.
And then it hits me. Right in the chest.
Ben stands next to her, and his arm slips effortlessly around her waist.
What?
She turns to him, looking up, a pout of red glittery lips puckering for him.
And then it happens. My heart stops.
Ben leans down and kisses her right on the mouth. The mouth! And in front of me.
Ben doesn’t have any sisters or any friends, really, except for me. He’s kind of a loner, so who the hell… Fucking Mel. It dawns on me. This is Mel.
Ben manages to pull his lips away from her, and a sad, puppy-eyed look crosses over her face.
“Sof, this is Mel.” I feel Emily behind me. “Emily, Mel.”
“Nice to meet you, Mel,” Emily says, her voice revealing nothing more than the automatic customer service voice she’s perfected over the last year.
Shit, how am I going to pull that off?
I have a sinking feeling that makes its way through me, down to my chipped purple nail-polished toes.
“Hi, Mel,” I manage. “It’s nice to meet you. Ben told me you were grabbing coffee on Sunday,” I say, not sounding jealous at all.
“Yes,” she replies, leaning into Ben’s hard torso.
The outline of his broad shoulders takes form through his t-shirt as he moves his arm to press her even closer to him as if trying to become one.
She looks up at him again. “Was nice to catch up,” she says, letting out a tiny laugh as if there is this secret only he is aware of.
Ben’s laugh matches hers, and I want to throw up. “Did you find the books you were looking for sweetie?”
Puke, I just puked in my mouth and swallowed it. S weetie ?
“Yup,” she answers, then turns to me. “I’m just addicted to these psychological thrillers right now.”
Emily points to the top one on the counter. “That’s a good one.”
“Well, I better go.”
“I’ll walk you to your car,” Ben nods in my direction, mentally communicating that he’ll be back.
“Wow, Ben managed to get himself a hottie,” Emily says as she snaps her laptop closed, oblivious to my seething jealousy.
“Yeah,” I muster.
Emily takes off, leaving me alone with a pile of books to shelve and nothing but my thoughts and the heavy weight in my heart. He kissed me, but I was too busy dating other people to notice that we might have actually had something. And now it’s too late. I’m not sure how I feel about that, but I do know I am not happy to see him press lips against another girl, especially a goddess like Mel. I’m seething.
* * *
I’m closing up the cash and Ben hasn’t been back in to see me, so I’m surprised when I hear him call me out from the hallway.
“Want to grab a drink?” he asks, his form taking up space in the doorway to the bookstore…and my heart.
I lock up the cash drawer and grab my stuff.
“Can’t,” I say, dropping a bag as I round the counter.
“Let me get that for you.” He bends down, and I notice the pull of fabric across his back, and then his…
“You got a date?” he interrupts my thoughts.
“Yeah,” I say, not revealing anything further. “Mel, she’s beautiful,” I admit, “I guess coffee went well?”
“You could say that.”
Ben follows me as I turn towards the door. We make it to my car, and Ben dumps the bag in my backseat for me.
“I just hope she doesn’t hurt you. Do you know her intentions this time?” I ask, knowing this is none of my business, but I can’t seem to stop the words from spilling out of my mouth.
“She’s not going to hurt me. Plus, I think I can handle the disappointment,” he says with a snarky tone.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
He averts his eyes. “Nothing,”
I feel a lump building in my throat. “What did you mean, Ben?”
“I mean, I tell you I like you, and your response is that you’re going to keep dating other people.”
“Ben…” I start.
“No, don’t…”
He has a point. I nearly collapsed in a fit of jealousy when I saw his arm around Mel. What must it feel like for him to read my articles every week? To read about my encounters with other men?
My back is pressed against the passenger door. “I don’t know what you want me to tell you.”
“That you feel the same way as I do,” he says as he takes a step closer to me, closing the large gap between us.
The cool Spring air circles around us. I feel my breath catch in my chest. I see him let out a sigh, his chest heaving slightly.
“You know…” I start but can’t seem to finish my sentence. “I’ve got to go,” I say, breaking the silence between us as I push past him. “Have a good night with Mel,” I add sarcastically.
I don’t know why I am jealous; I have my own date tonight. I’m on my own path. But I find it difficult to suppress my longing for his touch and his kisses. The way it felt when his mouth trickled down the length of my neck.
Fuck.
I put the car in reverse and back out. I see Ben standing under the streetlight, watching me as I go.
* * *
I change quickly, and I’m just adding some lip gloss when I see the time. I have to go. I’m meeting Tom at a comedy show downtown.
I pull up with only a few minutes until the show begins. I’m not usually late like this, but Ben had me all flusterfucked after the conversation in the parking lot. Two for two. I was late for Alex’s date.
I walk into the crowded bar, and I see a guy waving me over. I told him I’d be wearing a red shirt so he could spot me. I’m glad I did because I don’t know how I would have recognized him or found him through this jungle of people. I approach the table and see we’ll be sitting in the first row. Does this guy know anything about comedy shows? You never sit in the first row unless you want to be picked on. I cringe, uncomfortable.
I force a smile, and Tom stands, giving me a quick hug.
At first glance, Tom’s on the thinner side. A little lanky, with brown curls on top of his head. He looks a little ruffled. Like maybe it was a long day at the office.
“Have a seat,” he says, motioning.
I feel nervous. I don’t feel at ease.
I tell him it’s nice to meet him, and he doesn’t really reply.
There’s something about him that I can’t quite put my finger on it.
“The show’s about to start. Have you been to a comedy show before?” he asks, barely glancing at me, distracted by the people on the small stage.
“Yeah, it’s been a while, but I usually sit towards the middle to back.” I laugh out of discomfort.
“Nah, these are the best seats,” he says.
We don’t have much time to talk before the host of the evening is on stage. We really should have met up a little earlier before the show. I know nothing about Tom besides what he wrote on his profile. I remove my sweater and place it on the back of my chair, revealing the new cropped top and a pair of high-waisted jeans. I see Tom glance at me, not looking at my eyes. I feel his stare linger a little too long for my liking, so I adjust my top, snapping him out of his daze. He turns towards the stage. He sticks his finger in his ear. What’s he doing, digging for gold? He pulls his finger out and sniffs it.
I gag.
I think I just got the ick.
The host is finishing up, and people are clapping. Music starts playing.
I hadn’t heard of this comedian before, but I love to laugh. I try to shake the reaction my body is getting from sitting next to Tom.
With the chairs so close together, the sides of our arms touch, sending shivers down my body. Not the good kind.
I try to shake it off and clap as the comedian comes out.
She gets right into it.
I start to forget who I’m here with until her eyes meet mine.
Look away, I will her with my mind. I wish I had the superpower of mental persuasion.
She’s cool so far, funny. I like her style with her low-rider jeans and halter top. She has long red hair and sass. We could be friends, but not tonight. Not as the audience member she is about to call out.
I see her turn to Tom as our gaze breaks.
Phew. Close call. I’m safe…for now.
“Hey,” she says. “So, you’re on a date with this girl here?”
Fuck.
“Yeah, I guess you could call it that,” he answers.
Seriously?
“You could call it a date?” She laughs, turning from me to him. I show no emotion. I am not going to be sucked in. “What is it if it’s not a date? You guys just friends? Friends with benefits?”
Tom sits up a bit taller. “Not yet.” He laughs.
Oh. My. God.
She turns to me. “So what do you say, are you on a date?”
“I was.”
She laughs, and the crowd starts to laugh with her as she repeats my answer. “You were? Not anymore?”
“I just met him a few minutes before the show, and I mean, if he’s just looking for friends with benefits - I’m not interested. Plus, he kind of gives me the ick.”
I sink lower in my seat, hiding my face from the onlookers.
Tom is looking at me. Again, not at my eyes.
“She got eyes, bro,” she calls him out, then turns to me. “Wise choice, my lady.”
Tom calls out to the comedian, “Hey! What’s this ick thing?”
She looks at me.
“Well…” She pauses. “Come on, ladies, y’all know what the ick is, right?” The women in the crowd are laughing and clapping. A few men join in. “So, how can I describe it? Let’s see… the ick is something you do—” She crouches, looking at Tom, “—that stops a woman from ever wanting to get laid by you. Bro, bottom line, you made her cringe. You’re never going to bake her potato. Let’s just say there’s not going to be any belly-bumping, no boinking, no boning, no bow-chick-a-wow-wow. You get what I’m saying?”
The crowd is roaring. I find myself laughing along. Tom is sitting there, confused as hell.
“So tell me. What did he do? We all want to know.”
“He stuck his finger in his ear and then sniffed it.”
She grimaces. “What, like you guys sat down, and he just sticks his finger in his ear and sniffs it right in front of you?”
“Yeah.”
“Dude, sorry, but I think this ‘date’ is over for you. What were you hoping to smell? A field of daisies?” She has to practically yell over the roaring crowd. “You guys ever hear about…”
I slip out of my seat and walk to the back of the bar. Date’s over. I’m grabbing a drink for myself when I see Emily waving me over.
“Hey, Em!” I say as I slide into the seat next to her.
She introduces me to two of her friends. “I thought that was your voice up front, but I couldn’t see you.”
She invites me to stay and watch the show with her friends, so I do. I’m not going to let this night go to waste.
The comedian starts in on another couple. “So, I already broke one couple up tonight. Let’s hope I’m not setting a pattern here.”
Everyone laughs.