Chapter 9
Gavin
I made the bed in the guest room and cleared the coffee table of the beer cans and popcorn bowl we’d left there the previous night. I’d just grabbed my backpack to head to the bathroom when there was a knock at Nick’s door. I panicked a little bit, not sure what to do. It wasn’t my apartment; I was a guest there. There was also that nagging voice in my mind, even though I argued with myself it was impossible. I hadn’t even been at Nick’s apartment for twenty-four hours. There was no way they could have figured it out, found the address and got through security to knock at the door already. Nevertheless, I dropped the backpack and tripped on a chair.
I was going to pretend it hadn’t happened and continue to ignore the door that I could see Nick had locked behind him, but the banging got louder. A voice I didn’t recognize yelled, “Open the damn door, Nick. I can hear you in there. Stop being a little bitch.”
Well that pissed me off. Who came to someone’s home making demands like that? Especially someone as kind as Nick. I stalked over to the door without another thought and yanked it open. The irritated man standing outside was well-dressed and older than me. He opened his mouth to say something but stopped abruptly, leaving his mouth open as he stared at me. His eyes widened slightly, and his brow furrowed in confusion. When his senses finally came back, instead of saying something a normal person would say, what came out of his mouth was, “Who the fuck are you?”
Well that wouldn’t do. “I guess I could ask you the same thing, since you’re the one banging on the door demanding it be opened for you.” He didn’t need to tell me he was Gabriel.
He looked furious, and I already didn’t like him. He held his chin high, despite his obvious shock, and I’d bet he was the type of person who knew how to dish out demands and threats but didn’t know how to back them up. I’d been through a lot. And I could back my shit up. He opened his mouth again. “Ex cuse me? Who do you think you are?” Screeching. That’s what he was doing. He was screeching. “This is my apartment. Get out of my way. I’m getting my things. Where the hell is Nick?”
He was looking me up and down as I stood there half dressed, eyeing all my tattoos and definitely getting the wrong idea. I wasn’t going to be the one to correct the asshole. Nick had already told me how he ended up with the apartment and I knew Gabriel was full of shit. “Ah,” I said, as though his identity was just dawning on me, “But I don’t believe your name is on the lease any longer, Gabriel . So actually, it isn’t your apartment, it’s Nick’s.” He seemed pissed that I knew who he was. I went on, “But you’re in luck. Even though Nick is out, he did say he had something for you.” I shut the door in his face as I went to retrieve the bag of broken records.
I heard the door slam open behind me, and I hid a smile as I imagined how offended he must be. I grabbed the bag Nick had set on the coffee table and turned back toward the red-faced man who’d stepped through the doorway but kept his distance. I stretched, feigning a yawn, but flexed every muscle in my body as I did so. I knew I wasn’t some body builder, but I definitely outmuscled this guy. I finished with a crack of my knuckles and walked back over to him without wavering, as he backed off a little more. “Here you go.” I thrust the bag toward him, never breaking eye contact, daring him to say something about the broken pile of rubbish in the bag I was offering him.
He took the bag from me and looked inside. He stuttered a little and looked back up at me, obviously wanting to say something but afraid to. I only had an inch or two on him in height, but he was skinny, and I had at least twenty pounds on him. I quirked my lip. “Anything else I can do for you? If not, I’m going to go take the shower I so desperately need.” I desperately needed it because I hadn’t had a shower in two days, had travelled hundreds of miles on a bus, and felt disgusting, but he could believe it was for whatever reason his mind decided to conjure.
He didn’t say anything, so I moved toward him, forcing him to step backwards and out the door. “Ok, then, have a nice day.” I shut the door in his face again but locked it that time. I chuckled a little as I headed for the shower. Looking slightly intimidating had its perks sometimes.
I found the towels, and even though Nick had been nice enough to offer me his clothes, I didn’t want to be that big of a pain in the ass, so I pulled a white tank top and pair of jeans with holes in the knees out of my backpack. The holes weren’t put there on purpose, just worn through, but I couldn’t be bothered to care.
Nick’s shower was amazing. The water pressure was perfect, it was hot, and I wanted to live in there forever. I took much longer than necessary, just because it was the nicest shower I’d ever been in. By the time I got out and wrapped a towel around my waist, I could hear that Nick was back and was freaking out about something from the living room. He wasn’t quiet as he clomped all the way down the hallway, but I couldn’t make out what he was saying to figure out what had him so worked up.
When he reached the bathroom door, he called out, “Gavin, are you alright? My fucking ex sent me a text. I was afraid he’d show up here while I was gone. He can be such an ass when he wants to be, and I was worried you’d have to meet-” He stopped speaking abruptly as I pulled the bathroom door open and stood there in the towel. I hadn’t really thought anything of it, because he seemed to be panicking, but I watched as his eyes tracked a droplet of water that fell from my hair, down my chest, and over my abs before it reached the towel. It took that length of time before his eyes snapped back to my face and he finished his sentence. “-him without me here.”
He surely wasn’t looking at me the same way I looked at him . Had he not heard anything I said to him the night before? Why the fuck would he find anything about me attractive? I ignored it because I got things wrong all the time. It was one of my many, many flaws. “Can I use your toothpaste? I brought my toothbrush but forgot the toothpaste. Oh, and I’m pretty sure your ex thinks we’re fucking.”
He stared at me for a moment as my words processed. Then he burst out laughing. “ What?”
I shrugged. “He started yelling through the door like an asshole and called you a bitch. It pissed me off, so even though I wasn’t planning on answering your door, I did. I was still in my gym shorts, and I could tell what he was thinking. He was afraid of me, though. I gave him his records, told him I desperately needed a shower, and shut the door in his face.” I glanced at Nick. “I hope I didn’t overstep.”
Nick was still laughing, which I expected because of course it was crazy to think we’d ever do that. I mean, I was a disaster, and he was basically perfect. I just hoped he wasn’t pissed that I didn’t correct his ex’s train of thought. But he said, “No. This is the best…this is so much better than it ever would have gone if I’d been here. I can’t wait to see what he ends up texting me.” I relaxed and laughed with him. Nick pointed behind me. “The toothpaste is in the medicine cabinet. Bottom shelf.” He headed back to the kitchen still grinning and I heard him start putting his groceries away.
I got dressed and brushed my teeth, making sure to gather my dirty clothes and put the towel in his hamper. I met him in the kitchen as he was putting the last of the stuff in his pantry. “I should probably look for a job today,” I pointed out. I knew he wanted to show me around, but I didn’t want to sit around in his apartment like a loaf and not even try.
Nick shook his head. “Nope. Don’t even try to get out of having fun with me on my day off. You just got here, and you need to get an idea of where things are, anyway. You can look for a job tomorrow. You can either come with me and look around the center, or you can look around here. I can even get you an Uber if you want. But today. Today we ride.” He grinned at me, and I couldn’t help grinning back. I followed him out of the apartment without any more arguments.
◆◆◆
Nick took me all over the city on his bike. He’d borrowed a helmet from someone, even though I told him I was fine without one. He tried to show me around, but we were going too fast for me to comprehend most of the things he was pointing out and trying to yell about over the wind. It didn’t really matter, though. I felt more alive on that bike with him than I had in a long, long time.
Once he finished his whirlwind city tour, he took me out to the beach. He parked in the lot, and we walked out onto the sand and sat down. Neither of us were dressed for the beach, but I didn’t care. It was peaceful there, despite the crowd. There was something about the water and being outside that made me relax, and I slowly let my guard down for the first time in a long time. I knew that was dangerous, because I was constantly getting hurt with my guard up , but it was different right then, in that moment, at the beach. With him.
He started telling me about how he’d always wanted to live near the ocean, and he’d thought Gabriel was making his dreams come true. He was obviously still hurt by the situation, and he had every right to be. I wanted to make him feel better, but I wasn’t sure what to say. I wasn’t good at saying the right thing, and every time I tried to talk to someone who was having problems, I seemed to make things worse. “I’m sorry your ex was such a piece of shit,” I said. Simple enough, I hoped.
Nick chuckled a little and looked at me. “It’s alright. I still like that I can come out here, even though I haven’t done it often lately. I haven’t done much of anything until today. I think I’m finally finding my way without him, finally getting through it. And maybe he led me here for a reason that wasn’t him. Maybe-” He stopped talking abruptly and looked back out at the water.
I wasn’t sure why he’d stopped himself, so I said, “Maybe what?”
He looked back at me and smiled. “I don’t know,” he said, “but I do think things happen for a reason. Sometimes it’s not the reason we think, or even the reason we think we want. You know?”
I shrugged. “I guess so.” It did seem like things had a funny way of playing out. In my life, I was usually the cause of a problem that was the reason someone found happiness much later in life. Like Caden finding the love of his life because I pushed him away and forced him to hide long enough that Jamie found him where he was. At least I was good for something, even if it was pain that I caused. I glanced at Nick. Maybe I was there to help him find his own happiness somehow. Hopefully without hurting him. I knew I didn’t have long with him, but maybe things really did happen for a reason.
He got a little quiet after that, but it didn’t feel awkward. We sat and stared out at the ocean, and I was enjoying the moments of peace. It was something I didn’t get much of. I’d always liked the outdoors but had rarely spent time outside since I was a teenager.
Nick finally stood up and said, “Can I take you to my favorite restaurant and buy you dinner?”
I knew he was asking if I was ok with it because I didn’t have much money and he knew I didn’t like accepting charity. But he looked so eager for me to say yes that it didn’t feel like charity, and I didn’t have it in me to turn him down. So I said, “Yeah, ok. I’d like that.” We headed back to his bike.
I didn’t really expect the chef, who was also the best cook I’d ever met, to take me to a little hole-in-the-wall sandwich shop. The place was really cool, and nowhere near as intimidating as the type of place I’d imagined his favorite would be. The walls were chalkboard, with writing scribbled all over them. The tables were wooden picnic tables that had seen better days, but the food . I completely understood why it was his favorite restaurant.
He looked at me when I tried it, eagerly waiting for me to let him know what I thought. I was pretty sure when I closed my eyes and moaned around a mouthful he got the idea. I’d eaten like a king since I got to Florida . His eyes lit up. “I told you it was good, didn’t I? It doesn’t look like much from the outside, but I never judge a book by its cover.” And wasn’t that the truth, since he’d let my ass stay in his home without actually knowing me.
“I think this is the best food I’ve ever had,” I said, “Well, after yours, anyway.” He looked pretty proud of himself, and I smiled.
◆◆◆
We headed back to his apartment after a full day of what I guess I’d call sightseeing, but what I’d definitely call living. I’d never be able to repay him for waking up my dying soul. “Thanks for today,” I said, flopping down on the couch as he turned on the TV, “That was the most fun I’ve had in…well, ever, maybe.”
He looked over at me. “Really?”
“Yeah. I finally felt alive again…” I trailed off because alive wasn’t something I’d felt in a long, long time. But I didn’t really want to talk about it.
He seemed to understand. “Gavin, I’m here if you ever decide you want to talk about anything. I’ll never judge you. Not for anything, I swear. But if you don’t want to talk to me, and you need to talk to someone, there are people at the center who are there for that. Professionals. And it’s all for free. Ok?”
God, I was transparent . I just nodded and turned my attention to the TV. I kind of wished I had a phone to scroll on, just to make it feel less awkward. When I got a job, maybe I’d get a cheap one.
We headed to bed earlier than the previous night because Nick had to work in the morning. I’d decided to go with him and look around the center for a job. Not too close, though, because I had no idea where my dad was or how hard he was looking for me. How hard they were looking for me.
He hesitated in the hallway. “You, um, you going to be ok by yourself?” I felt like a child. The worst part was that I wanted to say no and ask him to hold me. I guess I was still a scared kid deep down, and I was pretty sure I’d never had anyone who cared as much as he did. No one had been protective of me since I was sixteen years old. Not even the ones who were supposed to care.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” Finally my brain caught up to my mouth and I didn’t say something completely embarrassing. Even though I was far from fine.
He smiled. “Alright, then, see you in the morning.” He headed to his room, and I headed to the guest room. I lay down on the bed that felt much colder than it had that morning and stared at the wall until I finally managed to drift off to sleep.