Chapter 22
Nick
W e were all staying at Caden’s parent’s house. We’d rented a van from the airport, and I insisted on paying that time. Everyone besides me and Jamie looked like they were having uncomfortable flashbacks the entire time. “Well, road trips like this are sure getting old,” Jeff had muttered. Jamie had cuddled up to Caden, who’d held him tightly while Jesse drove with Caden directing him from the seat behind him.
The group of us in Caden’s family’s house was awkward, to say the least, even though they had enough room for us and were completely welcoming. It was late when we arrived and we had no choice but to wait until the next day for any kind of action. His parents had met Caden’s other friends already, when the whole group had gone on a road trip together the summer after Jamie was abducted, but our trip was a kind of sudden thing, and they had no idea what was going on when we showed up there.
Caden had called them before we left, simply telling them there was an emergency and he and his friends needed a place to stay. It must have been a strange request, but they’d allowed it. When we arrived, he told them he needed to talk to them alone first. It was a prelude to the story we were about to explain to them, but he took them in the other room to let them know what had forced him so far into the closet when he was sixteen. We couldn’t hear what all was being said, but we could hear his mom crying, and his dad telling him he was sorry. When they were all composed again, he brought them back into the living room where the rest of us were waiting.
“Well, what’s going on right now?” his mom asked, worried, “What’s the emergency?”
“This,” Caden said, motioning to me, “Is Gavin’s boyfriend Nick. And Gavin told Nick some very bad things.”
We didn’t go into as much detail as we’d given our friends, but we did let them know that Gavin had been sent to horrific conversion therapy as a teenager, that his dad had lied to everyone and forced him back, and we were pretty sure he was in the same place he’d been sent to back then. And we were going to help him.
Caden’s parents went back and forth between worrying about Gavin and worrying about all of us until Caitlin jumped in. “If it helps, I have a friend in the FBI. His husband is a police officer. They know where we are and what we’re doing, and they’re coming to town to be close by if we need them. He has other friends here, too. We’ll be safe. Don’t worry.”
I was still a little worried myself, if I was honest, especially since Caitlin was planning to try to get into that place. She wanted to collect enough proof to get the FBI involved. If she couldn’t find it fast enough, though, I’d break in myself and find him. I had no idea what he was going through, but Gavin couldn’t afford to be broken again. I didn’t know how much he could take, physically or mentally. He was much stronger inside than he ever gave himself credit for, but a person could only handle so much, and he’d already endured more than most people would ever have to. I would not let them break his body or his soul to the point of death. We had to get to him quickly.
We all headed to our respective beds. Caden and Jamie slept in Caden’s old room, and Jeff and Amber got his sister’s. Caitlin got the guest room even though she offered it to me. She was talking to Nadia as she headed to the room, trying to give her a better explanation than her quick phone call earlier while still trying not to let her worry. I slept on the couch and Jesse, who’d called Luke and given him the briefest of recaps so as not to stress him out even more, slept on a recliner.
The house got quiet, and I lay there awake, staring at the darkened living room where Caden had grown up. I thought about how many times Gavin must have been there throughout his younger years. The house was comfortable and homey. I wanted him there in my arms, safe. I wondered what he was going through right then, but I had to push those thoughts away.
I wished Gavin and I could have something like the Conner’s house someday. Something that we owned and could decorate however we wanted. Not something that was sterile like Gabriel had made the apartment we lived in. Maybe we could even have a garden out back. I realized I was getting off track and that was just ridiculous, because I was pretty sure neither of us had a clue how to tend a garden.
We could redecorate our apartment, then. We could make it our own. Get rid of all of Gabriel’s stuff and buy funky furniture. We could get a pet and take vacations every year. We could go out on date nights a couple times a week. Maybe even get married someday. Yes, that dream was perfect. Watching the clock tick away the seconds, though, and knowing that every second away from me was another second with them, I wondered if, even when we found him, he’d be the same Gavin I knew.
I managed to sleep for a few hours. I dreamt of him. They were all bad dreams, though. I dreamt of him in the situations he’d described to me, tossing fitfully and waking several times. I dreamt of him in my bed, having a nightmare that I couldn’t get him to wake from no matter how hard I tried. I woke up feeling worse than I had when I went to sleep. Even though it was early when I woke, the others were stirring. I could hear them moving around upstairs, and Jesse was stretching on the recliner. It was time to take those assholes down.
◆◆◆
We went to breakfast at a diner in town. I wasn’t sure why we did, other than to get some coffee, make sure we had food for energy and to get out of Caden’s parents’ hair. It felt like we were already imposing enough, none of us wanted to eat their food, too. I discovered the real reason we chose the breakfast spot, though, when two guys, one blonde and one with black hair, burst into the diner and walked purposefully in our direction.
Even without knowing who they were, and though they were simply wearing jeans and T-shirts, their military style haircuts, confidence, and official air let me know they were Caitlin’s friends. It quickly became apparent they weren’t happy with her and the way she’d decided to go about things. “Dammit, Caitlin,” the one with black hair said as they sat down at the table next to hers, “When I said be careful, this is not what I fucking meant.”
“Well, you want proof,” she said defiantly, “How am I supposed to get proof if I can’t even go in the building?”
The diner wasn’t busy, because we’d strategized over coffee long enough for the breakfast rush to clear, and it was too early for the lunch crowd. No one there was paying attention to us, even with our large group. The guy with black hair looked around, anyway, before handing her a fanny pack.
“What’s this?” she asked, holding it between two fingers in distaste, “I am not wearing this. This is a fashion disaster.”
He rolled his eyes. “It’s not for you to wear, dipshit.” Obviously they were pretty good friends. She’d mentioned they’d hung out quite a bit with her and Nadia since she’d worked with them. “There’s a wire in it. You’re going to wear that , so we can hear what’s going on and you can hear us. You can’t just waltz in there alone. And you also aren’t going to try to record on your phone. You know better than this.”
“We have to get our friend out of there,” she said, instantly becoming one of my heroes, “I’ll do whatever I have to do.”
“No,” he said, “You won’t. Because you literally have the help of an FBI agent. I’ll be in a van outside, and I’ll be with my friends who also happen to be FBI agents, and we will all just happen to be leisurely relaxing together on our day off. In an unmarked van. Oh, and Tevon is going in with you.” He glanced at the blonde guy, who nodded. “He’s going to be your husband for the day, instead of mine. If you think either of us is just letting you walk into a place that’s doing the shit you told me about all by yourself, you’ve got us fucked up, girl. So what’s the whole plan?”
“I’m going to tell them I need to get my brother admitted. But I’m going to try to get them to admit what they really are.”
“You’re clever,” he sighed, “But I don’t know if you’re ready for this.”
“Just trust me,” Caitlin said.
“I most certainly do not.”
◆◆◆
Caden and I were in a white, unmarked van full of monitors and equipment with agent Morris. There was another agent in the van with us, pen in his mouth as he leaned forward in his seat, intently watching the monitors that were focused on the outside of the building. I was so grateful they were taking it seriously. It was unofficial, of course. In fact, I was getting the impression that they were all trusted friends and that they could get in big trouble if they got caught, but despite his earlier words, Morris obviously did trust Caitlin. He’d gotten more details from Caden and I in the diner and I’d felt it necessary to go into even more detail, adding things our friends didn’t even know yet, like Kolders taking advantage of Gavin back then. By the time we reached the building, Morris and Tevon obviously wanted to bring the place to the ground as badly as the rest of us did.
We were parked in a lot with other old vehicles that belonged to a nearby warehouse, and I was pretty sure the van blended in just fine. It looked like a utility van, and just in case someone noticed it didn’t belong, there was one more agent outside in neons, pretending to mess with an electrical box.
Jamie, Jeff, Amber and Luke were in a bar less than half a block away, close in case we needed the numbers. It was a dive bar, probably there mostly for happy hour for all of the warehouses around it, and they let us know they were pretty much the only people there. Caden was on the phone with Jamie, so they would know what was going on the whole time. It felt like everything was covered, and I was feeling better about the situation than I had since Gavin had first disappeared.
Morris had brought Caden and me with him because we knew Gavin better than the others, and he knew that we were the most invested, with more to lose if it all went south. Caden also knew the area better than anyone else. The other two agents who’d arrived were from Knoxville. There were no FBI headquarters in Caden’s small hometown and I wasn’t sure there were even any in the closest city. I was so grateful to all of them for helping when they didn’t have to, and to Morris for understanding that I needed to know what was going on.
Another monitor, previously blank, crackled to life. It was Tevon’s view, since the glasses he was wearing had a hidden camera in them. I watched him walk inside with Caitlin. He’d put on a baseball cap, and his walk somehow got less official. He didn’t look like a cop anymore and I had to appreciate the acting, because I was pretty sure the confidence was more a part of who he was than a persona he was trying to achieve. We watched them disappear behind the heavy metal door.
Tevon looked around when they were inside, making sure we could see everything. The room they’d stepped into looked fairly normal, like the waiting room of a medical office. There were empty seats and a desk that took up the back of the room. No one was sitting in the waiting area, the only other occupant of the room a single woman behind the big desk. There were three different doors behind her. One was a swinging door, to her right, and the one on her left was open. The door behind her, though, was metal with no handle on the outside and a keycard scanner beside it. Interesting . Tevon seemed to be zeroed in on that one, too.
The woman behind the desk seemed pleasant enough. “Can I help you?” she asked with a smile.
“I hope so,” Caitlin said with a slight, fake southern accent. “I’m here on account of my younger brother. We’re hoping you can help him. My parents are at their wit’s end, and someone told me to come here, that you guys could help me.”
The woman looked sympathetic. Tevon turned slightly toward Caitlin and rubbed her back encouragingly, ever the supportive husband. “Of course,” the woman said gently, “How old is your brother?”
“He’s seventeen.”
“Ok, we’ll definitely need to do some paperwork. Unless he’ll come in of his own free will, you’ll probably have to do an involuntary commitment. For that you’ll need to go to the police station first, but I can help you understand what you need to do. I’m assuming it’s a substance abuse problem, is it drugs or alcohol?”
Caitlin sighed. “Well,” she looked around, as though making sure no one else was listening, “Not exactly either.”
The woman looked confused. “We’re an addiction treatment center, ma’am. What kind of help are you looking for?”
“My brother, he…he’s…my parents are just past what they can handle. They don’t know where else to turn. Someone at our church told us to come here, so I said I’d come talk to you. He needs help with…his mental health.”
The woman still looked confused. “I’m not following,” she said, “But you might want to check with a regular mental health facility…”
“No, you don’t understand,” Caitlin said, her voice rising an octave, and she was really selling it with the emotion, “He thinks…he thinks he’s attracted to the same sex.” She dropped her voice to a whisper at the end of her sentence, as though it was shameful to say and she didn’t want anyone to hear, even though there was no one else in the room. “My parents found pornography in his room, and there’s a friend he sees a little too often-”
The woman cut her off. “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m not sure who you spoke to, but I think you’re at the wrong place. Like I said, we treat substance addictions. We have in-patient and out-patient care available, but unless you’ve found drugs or he has issues with alcohol, I don’t think we can help you.”
Caitlin grew frantic. “But I was told by the person who sent me here that her son had come here and you helped him! She said you’re very good here and you did a fabulous job. I don’t know where else to turn.”
The woman was starting to look annoyed. “I’m sorry, ma’am. I don’t know what to tell you.”
Caitlin broke down in tears. Damn, she was good. “I need help, why won’t you help me?” She was loud enough to be heard down the hallway of the open door, if someone was back there.
Tevon put an arm around her and steered her away from the desk. “Maybe we have the wrong place,” he said gently, “Come on, honey. Let’s not make a scene.”
“That’s right,” Morris said into the mic, “now make a fucking scene .”
“But my brother!” Caitlin wailed, pushing back while Tevon pretended to attempt to steer her toward the door. The woman behind the desk was standing her ground. She was watching them when Tevon glanced back and held up a hand in an apology to her. Either the woman was lying because she was suspicious, which I doubted, or she didn’t know what went on behind that door. The only other option was that we really were in the wrong place, which was also possible, but an option I didn’t want to dwell on because that left us with no more leads to follow.
Someone stepped out of the hallway with the open door. “What’s going on?” a male voice said. Tevon turned Caitlin back toward the desk.
“This woman is confused,” the receptionist said, but when the camera focused on the person who’d stepped into the lobby, Caden cursed.
He leaned forward, looking closer. “Fuck! I remember why the name Bradbury is familiar. He’s a fucking doctor. That guy is the one who runs this show. He also goes to the church, and he’s a deacon along with Gavin’s dad. Get him talking.”
I leaned forward, biting my nails. Caitlin spoke again. “I’m not confused,” she insisted, her face streaked with tears as Tevon held her close, pretending to shush her, “I know we’re in the right place. I was told you could help me here, but this woman isn’t helping me. I was told to come here by someone who sent her son here. She told me you could help me!”
Bradbury held his hands up placatingly to the receptionist. “I’ll handle it,” he said softly. He stepped around the desk and into the waiting area and said, “Come, sit. Tell me what you need help with.” He took her to a seat near the door, far away from the desk.
Caitlin took a deep, shuddering breath and took a seat next to Bradbury, Tevon sitting right next to her. The guy was probably in his mid-fifties. Tall, in good shape. Strong enough to manhandle a person.
“My brother,” Caitlin started, “We’re looking for some help for him. I was told to come here by someone whose son was here a while back. She said you did a great job helping her son. My parents are just about to have strokes from all the worrying. We’ve always been a church going family, always try to follow the bible. But my brother Terry…he…my parents went into his room and found a magazine, it was…there were guys in it and…” She put her head in her hands and fake cried again. “And he has a friend, Toby, who’s always around, too much. They’re much closer than friends should be. And when they looked under his mattress…” she wailed again.
Bradbury leaned forward, glancing at the receptionist as though to make sure she wasn’t listening. “I think I know where you’re going with this,” he said, “We need to be discreet, but I think I can help you.”
Caitlin lifted her head, mascara running down her face with her tears. “You…you do? You can? Oh, thank God!”
He nodded. He opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, the metal door behind the desk burst open. A tall man stepped through the door, somehow looking both scared and furious. Caden leaned forward and gripped the counter beneath the monitors. “Fucking Kolders,” he muttered.
We all watched as Kolders looked around briefly, then spotted the group by the door. “Dr. Bradbury! We need you immediately. It’s an emergency.” There was a warning in his eyes, and a cold terror that made my blood turn to ice. That wasn’t just a we need to talk type of emergency. Something was legitimately happening.
Bradbury stood up quickly. “Excuse me, I have to attend to something, but I’ll be back soon to discuss things with you.” Caitlin looked at him dumbfounded, but they were watching as carefully as we were. They both stood as though surprised, but slowly made their way halfway back across the lobby, trying to get close enough for the mic to pick up anything the two men might say.
I leaned forward, gripping the counter beside Caden. “Gavin,” I said, already assuming the worst. “He’s in trouble.” It was only an assumption but one I felt strongly for some reason. I stood and turned to leave the van, but Caden and Morris both jumped up and grabbed my arms to stop me. Caitlin was looking at Tevon on the monitors, though, and she looked like she had the same feeling I did.
“Wait,” Caden said, “We don’t know what’s going on, and we don’t know that it’s Gavin. Look at the size of the building. God knows how many people are in there.”
“But what if it’s him?” I cried, “What if something bad happened?”
“I hear you,” Morris said, still holding my arm gently, “But if you go bursting in there, our cover will be blown, and we aren’t sure we’re ready for that yet. They know who you are, Nick. They were tracking him. Let’s figure out what’s going on first.”
But I knew it, deep down. I knew Gavin was in trouble. It had been too much. They’d broken him either physically or mentally. I needed to get to him. I needed to help him.
Right before he turned and swiped his key card across the pad, we heard Kolders say, “I think we need to call his dad. It’s bad. Real bad. You have to do something…” They disappeared through the door that was slowly swinging shut thanks to a door closer that didn’t let it slam.
“Fuck this,” Tevon said, and he moved away from Caitlin, taking off his tennis shoe and throwing it over the woman who was still sitting at the desk. It landed somewhere behind her, and my jaw dropped when the door stopped a few inches from closing.
“Your cover…” Morris started into the mic.
The woman at the desk looked behind her in shock, but before she could move to retrieve the shoe from the doorframe, Tevon said, “Fuck my cover, this shit is about to get blown wide open.” He pulled out his wallet and held up what was obviously his badge to the woman. No matter that he had no jurisdiction. He was simply proving who he was. She looked at him, wide-eyed. “Police,” he said, “Don’t move.”
“What’s going on?” she asked, looking positively terrified.
“Have you seen this man?” He replaced his wallet and pulled out his phone. I could tell he’d pulled a gun, too, but we couldn’t see it and he wasn’t aiming it at her. He held the phone up for her as he reached the desk. We could only see the back of the phone, but I knew he was showing her the photo of Gavin smiling as he fed a stingray that I’d sent both of them.
The color drained from her face. “What’s going on?” she asked again, but that time it was a near whisper, filled with horror, “They dragged him in here. He asked for help. He asked me for help! They said they’d get him the help he needed. I don’t understand.”
“Do you know that they are practicing conversion therapy behind that door that implements literal, illegal torture, ma’am?”
“ What? No! It’s an…it’s an addiction treatment center…I…”
“Do you have access to the back?”
“No.”
“They’re lying to you, ma’am, and if you know what’s best for yourself, you need to get out now, because it’s about to get ugly.” She stood up and let Tevon walk behind the desk.
He pushed on the door slowly, quietly. Kolders and Dr. Bradbury were turning the corner, apparently unaware that the door hadn’t shut completely. I heard Bradbury’s voice again as Tevon pushed the door open wider with the hand that held his gun. “Let me see if I can fix this. His dad will have every dirty cop in a fifty-mile radius in this place if he’s pissed.”
I yanked my arms away from Caden and Morris. “It’s fucking Gavin! Did you hear that? We have to help him!” I was desperate and near tears. Was he alive? Had they killed him? I was about to flip my lid and tear the van apart to get out of it if I had to.
“You’re right, fuck the cover,” Morris said into the mic, “It’s going wide open and we’re going to hope we find enough evidence to justify our actions in the end. I’m coming in.”
Finally.
Tevon spoke into his mic. “I’m leaving my shoe in the door. But I’m not waiting for you.”
“We’re going, too,” Caden said firmly, holding my arm differently now.
Morris hesitated for only a second, then said, “Fine. So far, nothing has been done by the book, so why not?” He glanced at the phone Caden still had on speaker phone with Jamie. “Everyone else stand by in the bar. Tulley, stay in the van and watch the monitors. Call for back-up if you see we need it and then come in. Agent Johns,” he looked at the guy in neons who was now at the van door, “you’re coming with us.” The guy pulled off his neon vest and pulled out his gun.
The four of us ran across the street and up the driveway of the building where Gavin was in trouble. We made it to the door just as the receptionist ran out. She paused when she saw us, but a sob caught in her throat. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“Just get out of here,” Morris said. He heaved a sigh but pulled his own gun as he put a hand on the door. “Here goes nothing.”