Prologue I #2
Vulgaris walked inside, blue eyes that were light like the sky, completely different from my royal cobalt, his hair light brown that was closer to blond than brunette.
He was still in his royal uniform, the general of the army when he’d served and the steward of the castle after my father’s death.
My father had sometimes referred to Vulgaris as my uncle, but there was too much distance between us for that.
He took a seat in the other armchair on the rug, crossing one ankle on the opposite knee, his eyes on the fire.
My hair was of similar color, my skin sensitive to copious sun exposure, my eyes just as blue as the ocean.
My royal line had gifted me the signature cobalt eyes that no one living person possessed.
Deep like stone and dark rather than light, the color was so unique that I was the recipient of stares in every room I stood.
My father had had these eyes, as his mother did before him, and her father before her.
In one of the halls were portraits of my ancestors—and each one had the same eyes.
The fire continued to burn, consuming the silence as fuel.
He turned his gaze on me and nodded. “I admire your defiance.” He always spoke with a slow elegance, caring about his perception from others rather than being authentic. My father was the opposite. He said what he meant and meant what he said. His candor was a breath of fresh air.
“Really?” I asked coldly. “Because it usually gets me into worse trouble.”
“You’re your father’s daughter, that’s for sure.”
“It’s funny, isn’t it?” One knee was propped, with my heel on the chair, while my other leg dangled to the floor.
I was wrapped in a maroon blanket, an old wine stain still visible when the light hit it just right.
“I’m the daughter of kings, daughter of the king who exiled the Mammoths, and here I sit, unworthy of the crown bound to me by blood because I don’t have a dick to shove inside a woman. ”
My uncle didn’t admonish me in private.
“They’re too old to draw a sword, and I’m the unworthy one?
” I asked with a sneer. My father had taught me the blade himself, taught me how to wield a sword and hide a dagger in my clothing.
As a queen, I would always be protected by my soldiers, but I had to be able to defend myself if need be.
“My mind is clear of the cobwebs and dust that litters their minds.”
“As your years of life grow, so does your arrogance.”
“Yes,” I snapped. “Arrogance is the perfect word.”
“I have a solution that could fix all of this.”
My eyes released the fire and shifted to him with a leap. “I’m listening.”
His hands were on the armrests, his hands gripping the edges, and he hesitated before offering his idea. “You could marry me.”
My initial reaction was a laugh because it had to be a joke. It wasn’t uncommon for women to marry men thrice their age, but the suggestion was so far in the opposite direction of where I was headed that it seemed like an awkward stab at humor.
But his face remained hard, like it wasn’t a joke whatsoever.
My chuckles subsided, and then I felt the hostility of his offense. “I’m sorry, what?”
“The Ring of Elders would approve of me as a suitor. Because of my experience in the castle as the steward and my time on the battlefield as a general, my ties to the royal family—”
“We’re practically related, Vulgaris.”
“Hanne, you could be Queen Barclay and rule as you wish. I could be there to support you.”
“That’s not the issue I have with this agreement, uncle.
” I took a jab at the name my father would sometimes use for Vulgaris when we all had dinner together, making him a member of our family when there were no ties of blood.
He’d never been married, and I’d never seen him with a woman.
Never thought much of it, because in my mind, you didn’t have to be married.
He finally addressed the most concerning part of his suggestion. “We would obviously refrain from a marital relationship. I would have my lovers, and you would have yours.”
“But what about children?” I wanted to have children and not just to have an heir, because I wanted to be a mom. My own mother had never gotten the chance.
“You could have your lover’s children, and we’ll pretend they’re mine.”
“And you would be okay with that?” I asked in disbelief.
“It doesn’t bother me.” He said it with the straightest face I’d ever seen, like he was truly fine with it, like he’d really thought this through.
“The kingdom is secure in the hands of Barclay blood, you can bed who you wish, and I could keep you safe. There’s no one I trust to watch your back more than myself. ”
I still couldn’t believe this was a serious conversation.
I had to get past the shock before I could truly consider what he suggested.
It would make my life easier right now. The search for a suitor would be completed instantaneously, and I had no doubt the Ring of Elders would approve the match.
I would have the crown and be queen, and as horrible as it was to say, my husband would be gone in about twenty years, at most.
I hadn’t experienced my first time yet. I’d been too depressed to pursue relationships the last two years, and before that, I was simply too young. So, the idea of having secret lovers sounded exciting at first, but deeper thought made me realize it wouldn’t be exciting for long.
What if I fell in love but could never marry them?
And because I couldn’t, they would leave.
Who would want to have children and allow some other man to pretend to be their father? Not the type of man I’d want to have children with in the first place.
I would be in my forties by the time I would be able to search for love again, and by then, it would be too late. Everyone would have settled down and had their children already, most of those children adults themselves then.
If I took Vulgaris’s offer, I would forfeit a chance at love.
A love like the kind I read about in the books tucked away in the back of the library, the ones that were the first to be burned in the winter if firewood was scarce.
I swapped a lot of them for stuffy books about woodwork and rug-weaving, stuff that no one would notice was missing.
Several of the books were in my room, tucked under my bed so no one would discover my collection.
Perhaps I was a fool to risk the crown for a chance at love, but I’d rather be dumb than heartless.
“Thank you for the offer, Vulgaris. But I stand by what I said before—I want to marry for love.”
His eyes flicked away to the fire, and he sank into the armchair, his curled fingers coming toward his lips as he sat there deep in thought. Seconds turned into minutes, and he remained withdrawn.
Surely he couldn’t be that disappointed.
Did he actually think I’d say yes to marrying a man nearly thrice my age?
A man who had been considered family since before I was born?
My father’s best man at his wedding? Even if it was a political marriage of convenience that allowed us to pursue our own relationships, it was still a marriage.
He finally turned his head back to me. “Can I be candid with you, Hanne?”
I stared at his face, watched the light strike his features and deepen the shadows under his chin. “I assumed we were always so.”
“I believe the Ring of Elders will reject any suitor you select. They don’t want a woman to lead, don’t want a woman on the throne. But because of my ties to this kingdom and the crown, they won’t be able to procure a valid reason for my dismissal. This is the only way you claim the crown.”
My father hadn’t liked the Ring of Elders, and neither had my mother, from what he’d told me.
The Elders seemed to think they were the true leaders of the kingdom, that the crown and the person who wore it was just a puppet.
“As much as I want the crown to stay in my blood, there are more virtues than power. Instead of fighting a battle I can’t possibly win, I will step aside and allow the crown to enter a free election.
” Let the people decide the next family to reign over the Kingdom of Baccara.
It felt like a betrayal to my father and his father before him, but my father would want me to be happy above all things.
Vulgaris couldn’t restrain his reaction.
With shocked eyes and a clenched jaw, he behaved as if I’d said something deplorable.
He straightened in the chair and sat slightly forward, his eyes scanning me for a sign of insanity.
“The crown has been in your family for generations, and you would just…give it away?”
“Not give it away. Usher in a new era of rulership.”
“Perhaps the Ring of Elders are right—you are just a na?ve child.” Like a horse that burst through a stable, he came out in a stampede.
“I will take the crown if I can do so unmarried, and if I can’t—”
“You’re a spoiled brat to think the laws should change to accommodate your preferences.
We do not live in a fairy tale like the dirty books you take from the library.
They’ve poisoned your mind with dreams that have no basis in reality.
Marriage is a partnership, a union of two equal parts to make a whole, to forge a life together based on status and ideology.
Any marriage that starts with love ends with bitterness and resentment because love is fleeting and lacks any real foundation.
It’s mud—and the second you step in it, you sink. ”
I felt like I’d been slapped in the face again. But I hadn’t expected my father’s best friend to strike me, of all people.
He abruptly rose from the chair and stepped away, his muscular build rigid from the anger, stiff like a tree trunk that defied the winter storm that knocked over all the oaks in its vicinity.
He stopped, the dark-blue fabric of his coat gleaming in the glow of the fire.
He hesitated like he might say something else, perhaps apologize for his vulgarity, but the words never came.
He looked at me over his shoulder, his blue eyes a distinct mix between their color and the red of the flames.
“Reconsider this nonsense. You’re a woman now, not a child, and it’s time you behave as such.
” The stare that followed was more intense than the fire at my side, more intense than the rage I’d felt in the midst of the Elders.