The Desire

Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

ELOUISE

S ettling my head down on the pillow, I’m glad the bed is at least comfy, because I doubt I’m getting much sleep tonight. It’s hard to rest when the brain is thinking so hard.

My mind has been reeling since this afternoon, from what we saw down in the dungeon and then the hot-and-cold vibes that Rem is giving me.

I can’t work him out today.

One minute he has me to the point I can’t breathe, with his smooth seductive words, and the next he is treating me like I’m a dear friend that has known him for years. Moments of touch, with his body so close to mine that I feel like we are sharing the same breath of air, and then he is so standoffish that I start to think I’ve done something wrong. It’s happened before, but it’s usually flipping from home life to work mode, and I can understand that one, because it’s from a world where I’m in it to the world that he must give every ounce of his attention, and there is no gap for me.

After we moved past me playing nursemaid, and he sent emails to the guys with all his thoughts on the castle so far, we headed out into the gardens and went for a walk around the grounds. I can see how this would be the perfect place to set up a classy countryside wedding venue and accommodation. The open fields are bordered by tall established trees that look like they have been here for a long time. It will make a picturesque background for photos. I know that Rem has plenty of hidden things about him that I don’t know yet, but still, I did find out that all the photos in his home are ones he took on his travels. Watching him today and talking about the different perspectives on the beauty we were seeing and how it would make the perfect shot, it was then I realized how much he enjoys it.

The more I get to know him, the more I see that he has a creative soft side to him. The photos he takes are artistic and I appreciate them, but his singing is something I truly love. Every time I hear it I turn to mush, and the shivers running through my body are uncontrollable.

Dinner in the village at the pub was just what we needed to get back to the way we were before we left home—friends who enjoy each other’s company, laughing over a meal and a pint of beer. It’s not my favorite drink, but there was something about being in this quaint little stone building with a thatched roof. The bar area was small and dark with dim lighting that set the mood, along with the open wood fire that was burning. Although the weather today wasn’t too bad, the late afternoon brought rain and wind which has a chill in it, and it made the gentle warmth from the fire delightful. We sat in the corner on two wooden chairs tucked nicely under a tabletop that is sitting on an old beer barrel. We couldn’t help but relax and let the tension of the day slip away.

It made tonight easier to say good night and retreat into my bedroom to shower and settle into bed. I’ve tried to read like I normally do to get to sleep, but it was purely a waste of time. My mind is so perplexed on where I’m at with Rem. And the longer I lie here in the dark with just the sound of the wind and rain lashing on the window, I think of all the things I would tell my best friend if I could just talk to her. When she battled her feelings for Nic, I was there for her. But this time, I’m the lucky one who gets to battle the world of forbidden lust and attraction all on my own.

I mean, would she be able to keep it a secret if I confided in her? Not that I would want to put her in that position with Nic, but let’s be honest, she was my friend before she was Nic’s fiancé. Why does he get to trump me?

I giggle to myself when I answer my own question. The monster orgasms she told me about. Yep, that will do it every time. From personal experience of what that really means now, I totally get it.

Although I’m tucked nicely under the heavy bedding, that cold feeling that passed through me earlier today in this room is happening to me again. Causing a whole-body shiver that makes me uncomfortable and a little freaked out. There is something not right with it. Why would I feel cold when I’m warm in bed? And it’s not an overall sensation. Instead, it starts in my chest and moves through my body to my toes. At the same time, the floor creaks, and I hear the soft noise of the chair in the corner of the room dragging on the carpet.

Oh my God, that beer must have my mind running away with itself tonight. I’m hearing and feeling things that aren’t there.

Just close your eyes and go to sleep, you idiot.

Finally, the storm starts to fade, and the peace of night settles over me. My body relaxes, and I can feel sleep coming to claim me.

All I’m begging is that I don’t have another dream of Remington like most other nights. I need to douse that flame before it gets any bigger tomorrow.

As the real world slips away and sleep overtakes me, I’m immediately brought back into the here and now with a thud next to my bed and the weird cold feeling running wild through my body. My eyes instantly fly open as wide as a possum as I sit bolt upright in the bed and look at the painting that has fallen off the wall onto the floor next to the chair which has definitely moved position.

I’m done.

My feet land on the floor and I’m running out of this room and down the hallway, screaming Rem’s name as I burst into his room.

“El!” He’s out of bed and to me before I even make it across the room, wrapping me in his arms, and I hold on so tight. “Talk to me.” His demanding voice is calm but reassures me that whatever it is, I’m safe.

My breathing is erratic, and I try to take a few deep breaths before I can even explain, but he decides not to wait for me and starts to ask me questions.

“Are you hurt?” He tries to pull back to look at me, but I won’t let him. I just pull him tighter to me, shaking my head sideways to confirm I’m not.

“Is there someone in the castle?”

How do I answer that without sounding like a lunatic?

Looking up at him, it’s then I realize that his room isn’t completely dark. The door to the bathroom is slightly ajar to let a faint amount of light in.

The concern in his eyes has me melting into him further.

“Maybe?” It slips from me in the faintest voice like a child.

“What the fuck does that mean?” His patience with me starts to wane as he drags me toward the bed where I see him reach for his gun on the table beside the bed.

“Shit, no, not a real person!” I yell at him.

“Elouise, explain now!” He pushes distance between us and grabs my jaw with his free hand, crouching slightly and staring at me hard.

Gulping, I blurt out my fear. “Ghost. In my room. It’s haunted and the painting fell, the chair moved, and the spirit is fucking with my body.” And with strength I didn’t know I even had, I break free from his hold and move into his body again, wrapping myself around him like a koala bear.

While I’m still as tense as steel, his body starts to soften under me. He places his gun back on the table, and before I can say another word, he steps to the side of the bed and lays both of us down, pulling the blankets over the top and running his hands up and down my back.

“I know you’re scared, but you know ghosts aren’t real, right?” And now he is back talking in that calming smooth tone that makes my heart slow and my brain kick in to think rationally.

“In theory, but how do you explain the weird coldness in my body in that room, and the things moving, hmm?” I’m not game to look up at him, knowing he must think I’m crazy.

“I can’t. But what I can tell you is that no matter what, I will protect you from everything, living or dead. Understand?” His words settle deep in my soul. The warmth of his protectiveness over me radiates through my body, but more importantly, it’s a comfort that he isn’t making fun of me.

Lying in silence for a few moments has my heart beating in tune with Rem’s finally, and the last fifteen minutes start drifting away like they never happened.

“I know it sounds ridiculous and you probably don’t believe me, but there’s something weird in that room.”

“I believe you that something freaked you out. What that was I don’t know, but let’s just worry about that later.” Rem pushes my hair from where it had fallen over my face when he got us onto the bed. Then as much as I would have preferred to keep looking at his shoulder, his hand moves my head to look up at him.

There is no look of judgment but instead one of compassion and concern for me.

“I don’t want you scared of anything while you’re with me, or even when you’re not.” Hesitation flashes through his eyes, but then it’s gone as he lowers his lips and kisses me on the forehead.

Soft, tender, and full of affection, it leaves my skin burning from his touch.

“Do you need to stay the night with me?” He caresses my cheek softly. I’m no longer able to stop my body from reacting to him in a way I shouldn’t.

“No, I shouldn’t… but I want to… desperately, and not just because of the ghost.” The words float from my lips before I can stop them. “Just tonight…”

His hand slips down from my jaw to the back of my neck, and as he pulls me closer, I feel the warmth of his breath on my ear as he whispers the words I know we will both regret later. “If you stay, I’m breaking your rules. So, answer me again, do… you… need… me?”

He rolls me on the bed so I’m on my back and he’s on his elbow leaning over top of me, surrounding me in the best possible way. He runs his other hand up the side of my waist and over my breast, his thumb rubbing across my nipple.

In my head I’m screaming the word no, over and over again because it will hurt too many people, but my body is already betraying me. Both his hands are on my body as the heat from his stare burns my skin all over. He has the look of a man about to devour his prize written all over his face, yet he is still holding back. But when he looks at me like this, I don’t have the power to say no to him; in fact, I can’t speak at all right now.

Slowly he starts to spin my body on to my side so that I’m facing away from him. I was fooling myself if I thought it was just his intense look of longing that has me in a heightened state. As he wraps his arms around my body from behind and licks his way up my neck, his tongue drags a shiver with it.

His arms move under my body, and he pulls me tighter to his chest. As one hand drops down between my legs and his other onto my breast again, both squeeze me simultaneously, and that deep rasp of a voice is in my ear.

“Answer me, El.” He bites down on my ear, and I’m screaming out before I have time to stop it.

“Yes! Okay, yes! I need you!” He has me, and I can’t stop the throbbing in my core that I’m craving for him to make it go away.

“Fear brings need, but desire brings want…” He nips my neck as he moves toward my lips. “And I fucking want you!” He leans around me, his mouth taking mine with pure desperation as I turn instinctively toward him.

Rem’s body is driving me insane, the way he has me captured so I can’t move. All I can do is surrender to his control of me and let go. I forget about the rules, the reasons, and everything that frightened me enough to push me into his bed again. But the truth is, I have been longing for this so hard I think I’ve been secretly manifesting it in my dreams.

My body is burning, and all I want is to have my skin touching his. My cotton pajamas are grating on me like sandpaper, and I’m desperate to be free of everything between us. I press my breast harder into Rem’s hand as he continues to take my breath and every last part of my resolve to stop this from happening.

“Ohhh, yes.” I can’t hold back as he pinches my nipple and pulls it at the same moment his hand slides under the elastic of my shorts. And the moment one of his fingers finds the top of my pussy, I start trembling with anticipation.

“You think you need me, but I think it’s more than that. Isn’t it, El?” His damn finger is now purposefully touching me on either side of my clit, teasing me but not giving me what I’m desperate for.

“Rem, please.” I’m begging now, and I can tell by the change in his breathing that he likes it.

“Answer the question, El.” His hot breath is on my neck again, and he gives me the faintest kisses, again holding back because he loves seeing me so aroused and hanging on his every move.

Shaking my head, I refuse to give him the satisfaction.

“I don’t believe you, beautiful.” He moves his hand away from my breast and walks his fingers down my stomach and pulls my shirt up tantalizingly slowly. “I can read you and your body, babe, and I know the answer… but I want… to hear… you say it.” His whole hand is cupping my pussy, and I can’t help but buck against it, trying to get some relief.

“What you need is to feel safe and protected… but what you want is…?”

Knowing I’m almost about to lose it completely, he has me right where he wants me.

“Say it.” His filthy whisper in my ear breaks every resolve I was trying to hang on to.

“You!” I scream. “I want you…” The moment the words leave my lips, he pushes hard on my clit and slips another finger instantly inside me. His large hand is now ravaging my bare breast, and the roughness of his skin on mine is like heaven.

But it’s the deep guttural growl next to my ear and the words that make me fly over the edge of my orgasm that has been hovering at the surface.

“Fuck the rules, you’re mine, and I don’t fucking care who knows it.” He sinks his teeth into the base of my neck as it curves at my shoulder, and the pain feels intense and euphoric as he continues sucking my skin.

My mouth is open, and I want to scream, but not a sound escapes as all rational thought is taken by the wave of my orgasm. Small convulsions keep my pussy chasing his hand, wanting more, but the sensitivity is like needles on my skin.

Rem slowly strokes my body, and as I come down from my initial high, I can feel his hardened cock pushing against my ass. But he isn’t rushing me for more; instead, it’s me that is ravenous for his body. It’s the spell he weaves over me whenever we come together. I can’t get enough of whatever he wants to offer me.

Reaching behind me, I push my hand between our bodies and clamp down on his cock. He lets out a moan of how much he wants my hands on him. As he starts to roll my body, he releases me so I can see his face and the creases in his forehead. Biting down on his bottom lip, he is obviously trying to stop this from being over too soon.

“Naked now!” He pulls my hand away from his cock and is up off the bed, leaving me feeling the absence of his body heat around me.

Before I move, his boxer shorts hit the floor, and his naked ass is disappearing into the bathroom. The extra light into the room with the door now fully open is harsh on the eyes, but the sight of him striding back toward me, his penis hard and bouncing off his stomach is enough to have me quickly pushing my sleep shorts down, sitting up, and pulling off the shirt that was already halfway up my chest anyway, throwing it onto the floor.

Moving to the end of the bed, he rips the condom packet with his teeth and quickly rolls it down his cock that is obviously sensitive from being so turned on. I see him wince at his own touch, the veins protruding and the head ready with pre-come already leaking.

Now with more light in the room, I can see the power of my man standing before me.

I’m not even going to correct the statement. He’s mine, and I’m not sure I can let him go after this.

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but tonight, I’m letting myself be his El, and he is my Rem.

I can’t take any more foreplay, I just want the same thing Rem does. To be joined together with nothing between us.

“I have dreamed of seeing your face the next time I fucked you. Seeing you take my cock and what my body’s doing to you. The bliss and pleasure that you’ve been craving. I’m the one giving them to you, making you feel so fucking good that you won’t be able to walk away from me, no matter what.” Rem’s words do things to me I never imagined, because it’s true. When he touches me it’s like he suffocates my logical brain, and all I can think of is him and nothing else.

He kneels on the bed between my legs, not waiting any longer as he drags me down the bed closer to him. He grabs me by my hips and lifts my ass off the bed.

“You have the most gorgeous body.” And as I’m reeling from his words, the first thrust of his cock has me screaming out in sheer unbridled passion.

“Yessss!”

Rem is not holding back. He pounds into me over and over again as the lower part of my body is suspended in the air, the muscles on his arms bulging from holding me up just where he wants me. The arch in my back gives him the perfect angle to hit deep inside me, and it feels so raw and primal. This is all about Rem letting go of everything we have both been trying to bury.

The passion that no matter how hard we try just isn’t going away, but instead, it’s growing in ferocity by the minute.

I want to make it so good for him, but I can’t hold back anymore.

“Rem, I’m going to come, fuck, I’m going to come…” And I’m almost scared to let the orgasm take over my body because it feels like it’s building to a height I’ve never reached before. Like I’m about to have my body torn apart by this magnificent man.

“Do it. Let me ruin you!” His voice bounces off the walls as he roars at me, and my eyes try to close as the immense explosions of sensation erupting all through my body, but I fight to keep them open.

Because the look of Rem losing complete control while fucking me through this orgasm is a picture I never want to forget.

It’s etched into my soul to remember the day I knew there was no going back.

I’m Rem’s!

Every single cell belongs to him.

His body stills and shudders as he comes so hard inside me. I watch his face finally show the inner peace he just found, the tense lines from earlier all softening and the sparkle in his deep brown eyes telling me the same thing that I already know.

There is no going back from this, he won. I stepped over the lines we drew. In all honesty, we both jumped feet first into hell, and although I’m petrified of the repercussions, it never felt righter than it does right now.

As he slowly lowers my body back to the bed, I feel like a porcelain doll. Treasured and delicate but totally fulfilled with the affection he shows me.

Leaning over me, he softly kisses my lips. “Amazing.” And as he pulls back a little, he’s just shaking his head and laughing a little at me.

“What?” I ask, confused.

“You gave us ten months, I gave us ten days, and we were lucky to last ten hours.” Rem is still laughing as he stands up from the bed and walks toward the bathroom to clean up.

“And now I'm giving you ten minutes before we do it all again.” The hunger in his eyes tells me how serious he is, but I can't help but laugh at him out loud.

“You think you only need ten minutes, old man?”

That stops him dead in his tracks, and as he turns toward me again, I can see that his cock is already getting hard again. “Oh, I don’t even need five, but I was trying to give you a chance to breathe. But if you’re going to be like that, buckle up, baby, because I’m going to show you just how good my stamina is.” Turning back away from me, his perfect firm ass disappears into the bathroom, and all I can do is sink into the pillow and look up at the ceiling. Every thought of the ghost in my room is totally gone. Now all I’m thinking about is how fast Rem can get another condom on and get his hot body back on top of mine and have me screaming away any demons that have the hide to think they can take up residence in this room with us.

The next few hours are filled with joining our two bodies in more ways that I knew existed, and I know that no matter what happens between Rem and me, he has totally ruined me. I can never feel like this with another man. I know that deep in my soul, he has locked up my heart and thrown away the key.

I’m not at a place I can share that with him, but there is no denying it.

I’ve fallen for Remington Elders, and there is no going back.

The sex is out of this world, but lying here after our long sexfest is just as beautiful. Snuggling in his arms is a new thing, and the other times before now have been just about getting each other off. Now we let the enormity of what we have done settle between us. Rem wanted to take me to the shower, but I just wanted to stay here, with him, in a post-orgasmic daze.

But the longer we lie here in silence, the more I know I need to say what needs to be said.

“We need to talk about what just happened.” I lift my head off his shoulder and roll my body so my forearm is on his chest and I’m looking at him.

“No, we don’t. The fucking said everything we were trying to say.” That calm and controlled look tells me he isn’t worried about where we are heading from here.

“Rem, I’m serious, we need to talk about this. What we just did.”

“Can’t it wait until tomorrow? Sleep sounds so much more appealing.” His hand moves to my cheek. “Don’t stress about it. We both know there is no going back after tonight, but how we make that work sounds like a tomorrow problem. Agreed?” Lifting his head, he kisses my forehead so softly.

“Now sleep, woman, this old man needs to recharge before he eats you for breakfast.” He pulls me back into his side, and I relax my head onto his shoulder again. I can’t do anything but agree. I don’t have the energy to argue or even think clearly. Except for repeating his words in my head. Maybe I should have accepted the shower if he plans on going down on me again in the morning.

This man is insatiable, and surprisingly, I’m learning so am I, when I feel the moisture between my legs at the thought of his beard there again.

The sound of running water from the bathroom has me starting to come out of the sleep coma I must have fallen into last night. Before opening my eyes, I reach across to feel the bed next to me, and the sheets are still warm, so I know that it’s not been long since Rem got up.

Mmmm, a hot shower sounds delightful. Opening my eyes, I stretch my body out on the bed. I throw back the covers and feel muscles in my stretch that I didn’t even know I had.

I quickly tiptoe on bare feet, naked, to the bathroom before Rem has time to know I’m awake. Standing in front of the shower, I admire the strong Adonis of a body that is before me. He’s leaning his arm against the tiled wall, and every muscle in his back is tensed, showing me how all his fitness nights have brought perfection.

I thought I was quiet, but I forget that he has this extra sense that none of us seem to have.

“I can feel you watching me, but let me assure you, touching is so much more fun than watching.” His morning voice is so hot, thick and gravelly, like he is just getting himself together for the day.

“Oh, I know how good touching that body is, I don’t need convincing.” Opening the door, I take one step in as he turns to face me, and before I even have time to close the door behind me, I’m in his arms with my back against the tiles and my legs wrapped around his waist. The hot stream of water runs over both of us from the showerhead on the ceiling.

I don’t even have time to worry about my morning breath as Rem kisses me like it’s been forever since he had his lips on mine.

We come up for breath, our foreheads touching.

“Good morning, beautiful.” And all the fears I have start to raise their head again. “No, no, we aren’t worrying. We are showering. I’m washing you and praising your body. Then I’m eating my breakfast and feeding you yours, before I clean you again.”

Trying to open my mouth to say something, his finger lands on my lips.

“Shh, just relax and enjoy the early morning.” And his cock that is already hard rocks into my pussy, pulling a groan from both of us. Just grinding over me is enough to set me on fire again. Without a condom, we continue writhing on each other, and it’s so erotic to get off without the penetration.

“Now that’s more like it.” He starts kissing me hard as my legs drop to the floor, and he continues to make my body his until I’m orgasming again so hard that I can’t stand. I end up on my knees with his cock down my throat.

All I can think about is how I could handle this sort of breakfast every morning, even though that’s not reality, but it’s nice to dream.

Finally stepping out of the shower, Rem wraps me up in a large, fluffy cream towel and pulls one around his waist too. He brings his hands back on top of the towel and rubs over me to keep me warm and dry me.

“Turn for me.” He directs me to face toward the large mirror on the wall in a large gold gilded frame.

Looking into the mirror, all the air leaves my lungs when I see my neck, and the raging fear and panic comes racing to my brain.

“Remington, what did you do!” I yell without even one bit of control.

My hand jumps to my mouth in shock, my eyes almost out of their sockets as I stare at the large, dark mark that is obviously from him.

“I told you last night, I don’t care who knows you’re mine. I was marking what’s mine.” I can see the arousal in his eyes, inspecting his work.

I glare at him like I’m about to tear him apart, but his doesn’t seem to care.

“What are you, sixteen? Seriously, how the fuck do I explain a hickey to Tori and the rest of them!” My rage boils over, and I storm into the bedroom to get dressed and get as far away from him as I can before I do or say something I’ll regret.

Until I’m standing in the middle of the room remembering that my clothes are in the room with the ghosts, and there is no way I want to put my shorts from last night back on. They were wet, and I’m too angry to think of how that happened right now.

Storming to his suitcase that is open on the luggage rack in the corner, I rummage through it until I find a clean pair of track pants and a shirt and start to put them on.

“Mmm, you look sexy as fuck in my clothes.” His voice makes me turn and look at him casually leaning against the doorjamb of the bathroom, still in just a towel and checking me out from top to bottom.

“Really?” I throw my hands in the air. “That’s all you can say?”

“Yep.” His smirk pushes me over the edge, and I storm out of the room.

I don’t know where I’m storming to, but as long as it’s away from him, that’s all that matters.

And as I reach the small kitchen downstairs, my brain is now back onto the terrifying thought of how I’m going to get through this. Do I have enough makeup to cover what has to be the hickey of all hickeys?

If I had to give it a score, it would be a ten out of ten.

Point made, Remington!