The Desire

Epilogue

2 Months Later

ELOUISE

“ I ’m in the office, El.” Hearing Rem’s voice is always a comfort when I arrive home in the middle of the day on Blaise’s preschool day. It’s like we get to be adults, dating without being parents of a now five-year-old little boy, after he celebrated his birthday last month.

Blaise was so excited with the little party we had for him with a few of his new preschool friends, and of course all the adults who treat him as part of their family.

After the air was cleared with Dr. Keats, things were completely normal again when we saw him for Blaise’s five-year-old checkup. We were both relieved to know that the heart murmur was getting better and was barely there at all now. Drew expects that he will have outgrown it in the next year, fingers crossed.

I’ve just left my doctor’s appointment that I had finally booked after my fainting spell quite a few weeks ago, but I kept putting off seeing the doctor because I felt fine, and life just became so busy. But Rem and Tori kept bugging me, and in the end, Rem booked the appointment for me.

After the night of the charity dinner, my secret fascination with child psychology quickly became a passion the moment I met Cherie. I couldn’t stop talking to her and learning all she could teach me about how the mind works and not just what’s in the textbooks. This woman has real-world experience that is so much more valuable to me. It didn’t take long before Rem was encouraging me to investigate studying to be a psychologist and gaining my qualifications, specializing in working with children. I didn’t realize how much I really wanted to do this until the opportunity was put in front of me. I can still look after Blaise and study during the day, especially when he starts school next year and my days will be free.

I loved my job as a teacher, but I think I can do more for children who are in need of special care and whose families can’t afford it. The day I resigned from my job, I cried tears of sadness for the end of a part of my life that brought me so much joy. But it didn’t last long, when that night lying in bed with Rem, after he’d made sweet passionate love to me, he asked me if I would be the joint CEO of a charity he was setting up with Cherie. They want to expand her gym catering for youth and adults, setting it up in other cities across the UK. My job would be to run the business side with Rem, and once I’m trained and qualified, I’ll jump into the counselling side with Cherie and concentrate on helping the kids when boxing isn’t their thing. We can find another activity that is physical that also has the brain distracted while we work on their mental health.

It's still in the very early stages, but Nic has already given Rem a million pounds to help get it off the ground. It was an emotional day out at the farm the day he told Rem he wanted to be involved. Now that we are in the new era of our friend group, where big secrets are not allowed between any of us, Nic and Tori decided it was time to share that they anonymously organize a large charity called the ARD Foundation, which Nic took over running from his grandfather. It was set up in memory of his father and grandmother, and he said looking back, he could have benefited from something like what we are doing to help him deal with his misplaced anger at his father, so he decided he wanted to share part of that money with our new venture. It’s extremely generous, and Rem couldn’t speak for a few minutes, trying to take it all in.

So many changes are happening, and I’m just not sure how I’ll keep up with it all.

I walk straight over to Rem in his chair that he pushed back from his desk as soon as he saw me come through the door.

He loves to have me in his lap, and if I’m honest, I enjoy being snuggled there too.

Kissing me long and lovingly, he finally lets me go and looks at me with care. “Everything go okay with the appointment?”

And that’s the big question, isn’t it.

Did it all go okay? The answer would be yes. Was it what I expected? That is a yes-and-no answer, just as confusing.

“El, are you okay? Why are you quiet?” Shifting in his chair, he sits us up straighter.

“I’m fine, I’m fine, no need to worry. But let’s just say the visit didn’t quite go as planned.”

“Are you sick, what is it? Tell me!”

“You know how you told me you could handle a messy life with me?”

“Every day and twice on Sundays, but what has that got to do with anything?” I could see the wheels in his brain turning and piecing things together. “Oh shit, how messy are we talking here?” Rem’s face gets a little paler.

“Like the patter of another set of tiny feet kind of messy.” I finally let the happy tears start to fall that I have been holding in since the shock in the doctor’s office.

Rem’s head falls back onto his chair as he tries to take it all in, and then he quickly pulls back and looks at me.

“But we were always careful… Oh shit, that night at the dinner in that damn red dress. I was so desperate to have you that we didn’t use protection. Fuck, we slipped up a few times, but it was the dress that did it, wasn’t it?” He slaps his forehead with his hand, and I’m trying not to laugh at him. “You make me so reckless. I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

“Aren’t you happy?” Panic quickly starts to fill my stomach.

“No, that’s not it at all. I’m just sorry I took away your choice of the timing of a baby.” His hand is on my cheek, and I can’t help leaning into it, finding the warmth his touch always brings to me.

“The universe has a habit of choosing things for us, so why would now be any different?” My giggle is now mixing with my tears.

“A baby.” His voice is so soft and gentle. “We’re having a baby. I couldn’t be happier.” Rem takes a few breaths while still processing our news. “I love you so much I don’t know what to do with it all some days, and you have just given me the answer. Another person for me to share my heart with. Oh, El, please tell me these are happy tears.” He uses his sleeve to wipe my face which is just a waste of time.

“Of course they are. And if you keep saying soppy things like that then there is going to be a waterfall of tears shortly. Welcome to pregnancy hormones. We might not have planned this little one, but I’m just so in love already. I knew I always wanted kids, and from the moment I met you, I knew I wanted them with you. I thought we would have more time, but what does it matter? We are already parents anyway, so what’s one more to add to the family? A little girl maybe, with your gorgeous brown curls.”

“And your big brown eyes and loving heart.” He pulls me into a hug with my head now snuggled into his shoulder where I feel like I’m home.

“Or I would love another little boy like Blaise too.” Saying his name makes me sit up and look at Rem. “Oh my God, Blaise is going make the best big brother.” I throw my arms around the back of Rem’s neck and hug him with such excitement.

Who would have thought I would be the first to have a baby between me and Tori. She is going to be happy for me, and I doubt she’ll be jealous. She’s out there loving her life, conquering the world, one hotel at a time, oh and a haunted castle, we can’t forget that. I have no doubt she will have children, just not yet. There is time for her when she is ready.

“Shit, the wedding, I’m not going to fit into my dress. I’ll have to tell Tori. She’s going to kill me.” Not sure a pregnant best friend was what she was counting on in her wedding photos. I did tell her we would need a cloth sac for me to wear, and now I might be right.

“You are delirious. She is going to be screaming with excitement and will just find you another dress. I can’t imagine you will be that big in another three months’ time. Not that I know anything about pregnancy, which sounds weird for the father of a five-year-old.” I can see a little twinge of sadness in Rem’s face for all the time he missed in Blaise’s life, but to be honest, I’m not sure he would have been ready when he was born. His instinct would have been to just throw money at the problem and move on with life.

As sad as it is that Blaise lost his mother, the universe knew exactly the right time to bring him into our life, and I will always be grateful to Camille for the gift she gave us both that brought us together.

“Is it selfish of me to not want to tell Tori just yet? Let this special news just be ours for a little while.” Slowly letting go of Rem, I sit back slightly to look at him.

“Not at all, but can I ask one thing?” he asks, a smile on his face as he places both his hands on my cheeks. “Can it only be for a few days? I don’t think any of us in our circle can cope with big secrets anymore.” His lips softly touching mine brings butterflies to my stomach and that tingle he gives me running through my nerves.

As he sits back smiling, I know there is more in his mind now, because that is not an “ I love you so much ” smile. It’s the “ I want to bury myself inside you and I’m just deciding where I want to take you ” smile.

“We have an hour to celebrate, so move that sexy ass of yours upstairs onto our bed. I’ve heard pregnancy hormones make women horny. Let’s test out that theory.” He pushes me off his lap and onto my feet. But before I have time to start walking, he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder.

“Rem, stop, I’m too heavy,” I squeal as he starts storming up the stairs like he is on a mission.

“Do you hear me complaining? Even when you are fully pregnant, I’ll still carry you. That’s my job, to carry the load for you.”

I know he is trying to be sweet, but there is no way he will be lifting me when I weigh another nine pounds for the baby and every extra pound I put on too. He’s dreaming.

“Oh God, you are going to be one of those overprotective boyfriends and fathers, aren’t you. You’ll treat me like glass and won’t let me or the baby out of your sight.” I laugh as he places me down in our bedroom, his hands on my waist and wearing the most serious look, his forehead in lines and his lips straight.

“Yes,” is all he replies, looking at me and waiting for me to complain, but I can’t do that to him.

“Good. I’m looking forward to feeling your love through the way you protect your family… even if it will be a bit overbearing, but I’m sure we will cope.”

“Lucky. Because you know there will be no choice, right? It’s who I am.” Rem’s hands move to my shirt and start to undo the buttons.

“I wouldn’t want you any other way.” I kiss him again as he continues to get me naked, and all talking ceases as he has me screaming his name and forgetting my own.

Life with Rem is precious, beautiful, and full of grand orgasms, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

3 Months Later - The Wedding

REMINGTON

Flying into Australia for the wedding was a challenge, getting everyone out of the office but more so out of the country at the same time. But what the boss, or should I say bosses want, the bosses get.

Flynn and Forrest will fly home the day after the wedding, then we’ve planned for the jet to come back for us so I can spend a few days relaxing in the sun with my two and a half special people. It will be the first time we have holidayed together, and I’m looking forward to a few days of turning off work. Not that I’m ever completely detached but as much as I can be, and luckily, Elouise totally understands that. Especially with the charity getting off the ground shortly and the fitting out on the new building almost complete, there are decisions that need to be made that just can’t wait.

Cherie and Elouise have become so close, and when you add Tori into the mix, it’s a wild time. Cherie was invited to the wedding but decided to stay and supervise the construction, while she also has some clients she didn’t want to leave just yet, until we have other staff trained up to take the load off her. While my life has changed so much, it certainly has for her too.

Yesterday was a day that not only will I have imprinted on my brain, but the photos that I couldn’t stop taking will be memories for us to look back at, and I already know which one I’m framing for my office at home. Sitting on the sand, camera in my hand, I watched El in her bikini that she looked amazing in, with her precious pregnant belly on show and Blaise kept coming up to her and kissing it, while she was soaking up the sun on our growing little baby. She was still hesitant to wear it, but after a few whispered words on what it does to me seeing her in it and the rewards that will come later tonight, she was parading around our villa at the resort like a runway model as I cheered her on, laughing together. I love those precious stolen moments we get. Just simple but full of love.

And now we have made it, and it’s a perfect sunny day for a beach wedding, on the same beach that Nic proposed to Tori on. A place that is special to him and the memory of his dad. The music starts, and looking to the back of the crowd, I’m smiling hard at the vision in front of me. Not sure Tori and Nic ever planned on having a page boy in their wedding party, but watching Blaise walking down the aisle holding El’s hand brings tears to my eyes, and I don’t cry, well, rarely. Dressed in his little bone-colored shorts, a white shirt, and a brown bow tie, kicking his bare feet in the sand, he is so damn cute. Makes me proud of the boy he is growing up to be.

Escorting him is his mama El, which he asked if he could start calling her now. She has her own baby inside that is just for Blaise, well, that’s what he keeps telling everyone. Between hormones and the immense happiness it brought her, El was so overwhelmed. However, she insisted he call her Mama El, not wanting to take anything away from Camille. She has the biggest heart, and I’m so grateful she has chosen to share it with us both.

Elouise on the other hand is far from cute. The bigger her belly grows, the more beautiful she looks. The olive-green dress she is wearing, that can barely contain her ever-expanding plump breasts, flows so softly over her tiny baby bump, and I just wonder how I got so lucky.

I was never going to be in a relationship, have a family, or settle down my crazy adrenaline-filled lifestyle. Yet I haven’t felt the need to go on one daredevil trip since I told Elouise how much I loved her, and then she dropped the bombshell we were expecting a baby. She made me promise I wouldn’t do anything to put myself in danger. I told her I couldn’t guarantee that in my job, but that for the time being, I would stop purposefully picking things to do that make my blood rush. After a heated discussion, we agreed that was the rule for now, but I reserved the right to revisit it later. She doesn’t want to change who I am, but I understand her fear of losing me and obviously the fear of Blaise losing another parent. Luckily, the new dirt bike I ordered for Blaise hasn’t arrived yet, so I haven’t had to get through that argument yet.

The week after we found out about the baby, I paid the deposit on an estate near Nic and Tori’s place in the countryside. El just laughed at me, knowing full well I had been thinking about it for a while. I wasn’t waiting because I want it renovated and the security system and office fully functional by the time the baby is born. We can then escape to the country to be alone and take time to find our feet as a family of four.

But I didn’t promise El that I would wrap Blaise up in bubble wrap either. He’s a boy and needs room to just be a healthy, adventurous terror, just like I was. My parents laughed and said it was payback for what they went through with me, much to Elouise’s dismay. She proclaimed it’s not fair that she has to endure the payback too.

What I love about the property is the size of the house, and there are two guest houses already built which is perfect for our large family. Both sets of parents want to be around, and with my crazy sister’s kids and Elouise having so many brothers, it’s perfect to have space out of the main house when they visit.

I spend the whole ceremony with my eyes just on El, watching her cry happy tears for our friends, while Blaise is sitting at her feet, playing in the sand.

Although parts of our relationship have all happened so fast, I don’t want to rush marriage. I plan on putting a ring on El’s finger as soon as we get home from Australia, but I want her to have a day just like this, her in the white dress of her dreams that doesn’t need to be modified for our little bubba that she is keeping safe right now. But I want her to know there is no doubt I’m all in with her, and there is no other woman I want to share my life with for the rest of our days.

Love is a big emotion! One I didn’t know how to navigate for most of my life. But now that I’ve found it, there is nothing easier than to be with the person who owns my love.

And I’m no prince, but she is my Cinderella.

The woman who is gentle, kind, and a natural beauty. She sadly couldn’t see it in herself, but I’ve made it my life’s mission to tell her every single day.

I hear the celebrant announce that Nic can kiss his bride, and everyone cheers loudly when he doesn’t just kiss her gently, but so heated we are all calling for them to get a room already.

The reception has been in full swing now for over an hour, and Blaise is out on the dance floor with Tori and El, dancing his little heart out. I’m not sure who will sleep the best tonight, him or El.

Standing to the side of the dance floor with the guys, we are all just laughing about random things and enjoying being away from the hustle of our fast-paced lives.

“What the fuck is she doing here?” Flynn announces with dismay, which has the rest of us turning quickly to see Felisha Kentwall standing at the door to the room, looking a little the worse for wear and waving for Flynn to come to her.

We got close but never found the person who leaked that video, and as we suspected, it disappeared from the gossip sites as soon as there was another scandal with a married actor and his costar in the US. Yet another standard Hollywood scandal that I’m sure half the time are leaked to promote the upcoming movie.

“I’ll go.” My instinct already has me moving, but before I get a few steps, Flynn grabs my arm and stops me.

“No! This is my mess. Let me be the one to sort out the next chapter. Apparently, my life is not just a news story but a fucking novel with way too many plot twists for my liking.” Flynn storms toward Felisha with determination.

Looking at Nic and Forrest, my fists are clenched because I don’t want anything wrecking this day for my friends. “I’m giving him ten minutes and then I’m out there. I don’t trust either of them not to do some dumb shit that I’m left to clean up again.”

There wasn’t any laughing from any of us because we all know it’s more than likely true.

I’d hoped we were moving away from a messy life, but I guess not. Looks like I’ll be spending the rest of my days controlling everyone else’s messes. And loving every minute of it!

Because I live to control the uncontrollable.

FLYNN

Walking toward Felisha, I’m confused but also really worried about why she’s here and looking like someone stole her puppy.

I don’t even know if she has a puppy, but she’d look cute with one.

The closer I get, the more worried I am because I can tell she has been crying, and this woman in front of me is a tough one. She’s someone I wouldn’t want to pick a fight with in the boardroom, because I know there’s no way she would back down.

“Felisha, what are you doing here, what’s wrong?” Taking her by the hand, I lead her outside to a quiet place where the palm trees are gently blowing in the sea breeze and the moonlight is reflected softly on the water.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what else to do. You told me where the wedding was just in case something happened, and I didn’t want to give away the secret, but I just felt so lost and needed you.” She can’t hold her tears back now, and I can’t help but pull her into my arms, letting her sob freely but also to feel safe doing it.

After she starts to pull herself together, I can’t help asking her more questions. “Are you okay, are you in trouble, what can I do to help?” Fuck, I wish she would just tell me what is going on.

“I was in such shock, I just brought a ticket on a commercial flight and left because I didn’t know what to do.” Surprisingly, she has hardly any makeup on and just a small overnight bag at her feet.

“Shock from what? What the hell is going on?” I know it’s something big, because Felisha Kentwall doesn’t do commercial flights, that’s what her family’s private jet is for.

“It’s my father. My own father was the one who filmed me with you and blackmailed Nic. He sold his own daughter’s body. My body!”

Rage runs wild through my body, and I want to rip that pathetic old man’s throat out.

“All to stop me from taking over the company on my fortieth birthday as planned in the articles of association that govern the way the company is run. They were put in place by my grandfather before he died, and my father hasn’t been able to change them. If he couldn’t stop it, then he would bury me instead.” The tears start to dry up as she is looking at me. I can tell all she needs is someone on her team who has the power to help her.

I can be her strength!

And that’s why she flew halfway around the world to find me, because I’m the only one who truly understands how she feels.

“The only person who is going to regret this tape ever being made is your father!” My voice is no longer full of softness and compassion for her. That’s not what she needs.

She needs me to be the man she submitted to that night.

“Are you ready to fight?” I ask, putting my hands on her shoulders and standing her up straight.

“I am now!” Her beautiful eyes light up again, and I know it’s game on!

Thank you for reading The Desire .