Chapter 32
THIRTY-TWO
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JOHNNY
It’s after ten by the time I arrive at Gavin’s house and this may be the most surreal night of my life.
Coming out to my parents, deciding to leave my ‘real’ career behind, being the cause of Calum’s worst fear coming true…
it’s all a blur inside my head. By rights I should be drowning in guilt or confusion.
Instead, my mind is clear, and a steely determination burns through my veins.
I have to make this right.
Walking out of Cal’s apartment, when I could see the hurt and doubt eating at him, was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
I would have stayed if I thought it would do any good.
I would have held him, raged for him, proclaimed my devotion in any way he wished to hear it.
But words of reassurance mean nothing to Calum.
How can they? His most basic trust in those who claim to love him is shattered.
There’s only one way to prove my loyalty and my love. With my actions.
Knocking on the open back door, I make my way through the house. Gavin and Charmaine are in the dining room with Ned and Toni.
“This is such bullshit,” Ned mutters as I approach the doorway.
“Maybe so,” Charmaine replies from her place at the head of the table. She has a highlighter in hand as she studies what I assume is a copy of our contract with Rush. “But we need to know more about the brand of bullshit before we decide how to deal with it.”
Gavin is seated to her left, his back to me. Ned is opposite him, pale-faced and jaw locked tight. Toni is by his side, one arm around Ned’s shoulders and his chair pulled so close the two of them might as well be glued together.
Ned is the first to see me. “Johnny,” he says, straightening in his chair. “What’s going on? Was Calum fired?”
There’s movement as all eyes turn in my direction and I swallow hard. “Yeah. One of his colleagues saw us together at the festival. It didn’t take a genius to figure it out.”
“I don’t know,” Gavin grumbles. “I thought you were very circumspect.” His ability to remain clueless about my relationship with Calum when the others either knew or suspected has continued to irk him. Which the rest of us have found hilarious. Such levity escapes me now.
“Where’s Oz?” I ask as I make my way to the foot of the eight-seater table and sit down.
“On his way,” Ned says. “He’d just picked Hannah up from uni when I called him. He said he’d drop her home and then head over.”
I grimace. “How did Hannah take the news?”
“Not well if the non-stop swearing was any indication.”
I’m not surprised. For how protective Calum is of his younger sister, she is every bit as protective of him. I’m glad she’ll be with him when I can’t be.
“What about Calum?” Toni asks. “Is he okay?”
“He’s trying to hide it, but he’s devastated.
” I shake my head with a rueful smile. “Still, all he could talk about was the band and how we should negotiate our next move with Rush.” As if we’d want to stay tied to those arseholes.
“You know, they told him he could keep his job, despite breaking the rules, if he convinced me to go public about my sexuality. Something about it being good for our branding.”
My words cause a stir of surprise and outrage from the three men, while Charmaine grabs a nearby pen and starts writing in a notebook. “He turned them down?” she asks.
I nod. “Of course, he did. Even after I told him I’d go along with it, happily.
My parents know now anyway.” A few curious eyebrows lift, but it’s a story for another time.
“He still refused. Because he’s stubborn and proud and too fucking honourable for his own good.
” Sighing my frustration, I look at Charmaine. “What can we do?”
“In terms of getting Calum his job back, probably not much,” she says with sympathetic eyes.
“Fifth Circle does have options, though, thanks to the clauses added by both Ned and Rush when the contract was first signed.” She flips back to another page in the document.
“If you decide you want to stay with Rush, you can make a unanimous decision to choose a new manager. If you want to leave Rush, the clause Ned added will go a long way towards getting you out.” She glances around the table at each of us. “Thoughts?”
Reaching into my pocket, I pull out the crumpled ball of paper Calum pressed into my hand and toss it down the length of the table. Gavin catches it before it bounces off the far end. “What’s this?” he asks, opening it up.
“Calum fully expects us to sail off into the sunset without him. Not only did he encourage me to go,” I nod to Gavin’s hand, “he provided recommendations for which Rush managers we should work with.” My gaze turns to Ned. “He told me not to let Arthur get anywhere near you in particular.”
Toni visibly bristles at my words, a soft but somehow menacing sound emanating from his throat.
Swallowing, Ned holds his hand out towards Gavin. “Can I take a look?”
Gavin hands the paper to Ned, who flattens it out on the table before reading over the list of names. “These are Calum’s possible replacements?”
I hold my breath, my body rigid, as I nod.
“Sweet.” Picking up the paper, Ned slowly begins to shred it. My chest aches with relief as the pieces flutter down onto the table. “I vote we choose none of them. Who’s with me?”
Gavin lets out a hearty guffaw. “Yeah, fuck it. Calum is one of us now. We’re not letting him get shafted when he makes our boy over here,” he jabs a thumb in my direction, “so stupidly happy.”
They turn to me with matching grins. “Agreed?” Ned says, lifting his eyebrows at me.
My smile is wide enough to hurt my cheeks. “Yeah, one hundred percent.” I wasn’t looking forward to fighting them on this if they wanted to stay with Rush. I’m glad to know I don’t have to.
Oz comes barrelling through the door at that moment. “What did I miss?”
Charmaine looks up at him with a cheery smile. “Everyone is casting their vote on whether to accept a new manager from Rush.”
His face falls. “Oh, shit.” The words burst out of him in barely a whisper before he pulls himself up to his full height.
“Right, here it is. I’m in love with Hannah, and I’m not about to hurt her by screwing over her brother.
I vote no new manager.” He stares each of us down, with crossed arms and an intense glare we’ve never seen before on our youngest and quietest member. “Any of you have a problem with that?”
We all sit there stunned into silence, until Toni pipes up, “Damn. That was hot.”
Oz’s eyes widen as the rest of us dissolve into laughter.
“It’s unanimous,” Charmaine declares. “We fight for Calum.”
* * *
On Friday morning, we arrive at the Rush offices right on time.
Each of us is wrapped in thick layers of rock star confidence, with the hope no one looks close enough to see the nerves lurking beneath.
Thankfully, we have Charmaine’s genuine confidence to help us sell the facade.
She’s managed to wrangle the morning off work to be here with us.
While she’s not a contract lawyer, she knows enough to help us pull this off. We hope.
We’re ushered into a boardroom upon arrival, with assurances someone will be with us momentarily. Fifteen minutes later, we’re still waiting.
“How much longer do you think they’ll make us sit here?” Ned grumbles. His legs are bouncing lightly under the table, and he can’t keep his fingers off the pendant around his neck.
Charmaine’s pen pauses on her notepad, where I’m pretty sure she’s churning through her own work while we wait. “However long they think it will take to unnerve you.” She looks up at him. “Are you unnerved?”
Ned clears his throat. “No, ma’am.”
“Good.” She winks at him before returning to her work.
Another minute passes.
Oz is tapping away on his phone. Probably providing updates to Hannah. Gavin is sitting beside Charmaine, studying the details of the room as he slouches in his chair. Of the four of us, he’s definitely the most chill about this whole situation.
Sighing heavily, I stand and walk over to a large window at the other end of the room, but I barely register the sprawling streets of the city far below.
I miss Calum. We haven’t spoken since I left his apartment all of thirty-six hours ago.
It feels like a year. I’ve sent multiple texts, to tell him I love him, that we’ll get through this, and I’m not going anywhere. He hasn’t responded.
Every cell in my body has screamed at me to rush to his side, to break down the damned door if I have to, but I’m determined to give him the space he seems to want. I’ve done enough harm without forcing myself on him when he’s asked me to stay away.
All that ends today, though. Whichever way this meeting goes, we’ll be together soon.
“Everything okay?” Ned’s voice comes from beside me and I turn my head to see concern in his eyes. “You’re sure about this, yeah?”
I give him a questioning look. “About our strategy?” He nods. “Of course.”
His lips press together, as if he has more to say and I frown. “Ned, if you’re having second thoughts—”
“No,” he says, cutting me off. “Not at all. It’s just…
I remember how excited you were when we signed with Rush.
About moving forwards and making all our high school dreams come true.
Since then, you’ve been so focused and driven to make it happen.
” He gestures to the room behind us. “We’re about to put it all at risk.
At best it’ll be a setback, at worst… we could miss our shot at the big time.
” He hesitates for another moment before going on. “I don’t want you to have any regrets.”
That’s what he’s worried about? That if things go pear-shaped, I’ll regret not being famous?
My shoulders relax and a laugh escapes me as I put a hand on his shoulder.
“Mate, it wasn’t the thought of fame or money keeping me focused this past year.
It was Calum.” At the lift of his eyebrows, I grin.
“The way he looked at me every time we hit another one of his targets. Like he wanted to strip me naked and cover me with gold stars.” My eyes roll back in my head as Ned bursts out laughing. “I’m telling you, it was like a drug.”
Ned lets out another peal of laughter before he leans over to murmur in my ear. “Who knew, all these years, you’ve been dying to be somebody’s good boy.”
My face goes up in flames as I glance at the other people in the room. Thankfully, they’re used to our shit and haven’t even bothered to look up. “I never said that,” I whisper to Ned, “but… maybe a little.”
“I understand,” he says, his own cheeks rosier than they were before. “I understand completely.”
By the time our laughter fades the air between us is clearer. It’s good to know we’re still on the same page.
“The truth is,” I go on, “all I truly need to be happy is my guitar, a stage, and Cal. Even if we do end up playing beer gardens and small pubs again, it won’t bother me.” If I have to go back to working at a pharmacy to make it work, so be it.
Ned flashes me a wicked grin. “If you don’t add a but to the end of your sentence, I’ll do it for you.”
“But,” I drawl, turning to face the fancy boardroom we’ve been dumped in, “if we can manage to cut this lot loose, keep Cal, and go on to smash more of those targets he loves so much, it would be exceptional. For us and for him.”
“Gold stars all around?” Ned asks, waggling his eyebrows at me.
“No.” My gaze narrows. “The gold stars are mine.”
He makes a tutting sound. “Spoil sport.”
At that moment, the door opens and three people sweep into the room. The first introduces herself as Genevieve, the CEO of Rush. Arthur is second, and the third is Rush’s lawyer.
I zero in on Arthur—the man who threatened to make private details about my life public knowledge, without my consent.
Impeccably dressed in a navy suit, with neat salt-and-pepper hair, he’s a smug looking son of a bitch.
He’s expecting us to fall in line with whatever plans Rush has for us, like the hungry little rock stars they believe us to be.
Giving in to a mischievous smile, I choose the seat directly opposite. I’m about to take great pleasure in disappointing him.