Chapter 19 #2
It was too much. Reality. The truth. It was only barely just starting to sink in, and after everything, grasping it was overwhelming. Was this really who Drayton had become? I loved him… I really loved him… but I didn’t know this heartless man with his cruel words.
Nod.
Was I nodding?
Yes. I was nodding and heading for the shower. But I wasn’t here. I was analyzing. I was contemplating. I was so fucked.
“Marian.”
I stopped just outside the bathroom door, turning to look to the end of the hall where Drayton stood. There was such anger in his tone.
“Yes, Dray?”
A pause. His brow creased and then his face return to its hard nature.
“It’s time to get this over with. You’ll call Bastian when you get out.”
Nod. Yes, there it was again. But with it, my hand clamped to the door frame, and I willed my expression to go back to the soft, helpless stare.
“When we get… home.” I stopped, pouting my lip as if I were going to cry. “Can I call it my home?”
Confusion. Pain? For seconds he searched my face. “Yes.”
“When we get home…. Will we share a room like a real married couple, or will you keep me in some dark basement like where Penny was kept? Will you torture me there? Beat me? Leave scars all over my body until you make a choice?”
Drayton took a step forward, and I watched his emotions battle each other.
“I’m going to be very honest, Marian. The home you’re thinking of won’t come for a while, if at all.
I’m taking you somewhere else. If you mentally survive leaving that place, we’ll marry and break the news to my family.
Then, the public. Only after that will we go to Los Angeles.
If you fail along the way, there’s other places to keep you until my child is born and you die to the outside world. ”
I wasn’t going to pass out. I wasn’t going to break under the pressure.
“Survive? Fail?” I kept the fear in my tone before forcing myself to stand taller. “I’ll be fine. I’ll be okay.”
“I’m not so sure about that.”
“You’ll see.”
The challenge was almost there as he stared me down.
“Drayton, you said California. Why settle there? You’re the heir. You’re—”
“Still the Devil of Hollywood.” He took fast, angry strides towards me. “My title as heir does not erase my duties. I will never escape those. I can thank you for that. Get used to Hollywood. It’ll be the only home you’ll have. If you make it that far. Now, get your ass in the shower.”
He pulled, not allowing me to walk on my own.
I didn’t fight when I should have. The thing was, the more breaths I took, the harder and deeper they became.
I tried my best to slow them as I turned on the water and watched Drayton leave, but the anxiety wouldn’t ease.
I would have no one in California. No friends.
No connections. I’d be alone, without help if I needed it.
And that was if I even made it that far.
What if I did break? What if he killed me after I gave him an heir?
No. The old Drayton had to be in there somewhere. I had to find him. I had to turn this around.
Think.
Think.
A few more weeks of my mother’s teachings and then I could begin to pair the looks and tone with verbal cues, to my needs, but that would still take time.
Did I have that long? What if it didn’t work on him?
I was one of those rare ones where it didn’t work on me unless mixed with medication.
Dammit. Of all the things I could have learned from my mother, why couldn’t I have had her teach me more of this?
I needed control or relief if it came to it.
She could warp people’s minds with her words.
She could manipulate them to such an extreme that she’d reprogram them to believe lies!
I knew she could, I’d overheard her once, and hadn’t that been what she’d done with me, even if a shot was somehow involved?
If I did say those things to Drayton’s family, I had no memory of it. I needed help. I needed my mother.
A sob tore free, and I hated that it even had to come.
If I had any hope that I could fuck Drayton into submission, that was gone now.
Sex wasn’t going to erase the past. Time wouldn’t even do that.
But my mother’s skills, those could help him see me in a favorable light.
Obedient. Yearning. Still in love with him. A love I’d ruined. She ruined.
The screams in my head only brought more tears, but they were hidden by the spray that I stepped into.
I let the water beat against my face. I let it damn near drown me as I took turns holding my breath as long as I could.
I didn’t move. I gasped right there in that water, forcing myself to be stronger.
To be braver than the little girl who still lived inside.
I was a shark. I was a shark. My mother was a snake. I was a shark. I had her blood. She was part of me. But she fucked me up. This was her fault. But I needed her. I needed her mind if I was going to make it through this. Her skills. I needed her fucking brain and strength.
A bang sounded in the distance, stealing me from the overwhelming need to scream.
I pulled my face out of the water, rubbing over my eyes.
I’d have to call Bastian. The ring had to be the reason he was still here.
He needed it back and couldn’t ask while I begged him to pay the ransom.
That would have been too callous, but what if… what if…
I turned off the water, reaching over to grab a towel. Bastian thought he had more time. He didn’t know Drayton had me. He had no idea where I was, but I knew my fiancé. What if he truly was trying to figure out a way to rescue me? To save me? What if I turned my back on my own circle and let him?