Drayton
Something wasn’t right. My body ached all over.
My brain was exhausted but finally rested.
I’d been analyzing my memories for hours.
I still couldn’t figure out what could have happened that could have changed Marian’s mood so much.
She wasn’t the same after we’d come back to the room.
Had she not gotten what she thought she needed from us experimenting with the cane?
Had I hurt her? I couldn’t remember hurting her.
She had been begging for more, hadn’t she?
What had happened that had her waking up so withdrawn and distant?
She hadn’t kept conversation with me over breakfast. Not that I could really blame her with my entire family continuously looking at us.
But she was better at keeping up appearances than me, and she hadn’t even tried.
Now, as we followed up with the reports, she was so far away.
It left me wanting to shake her. To demand that she tell me what was so important or horrible that she couldn’t even look at me for longer than a few seconds.
“Marian.”
Light eyes lifted, only to lower back to the stack of papers she scanned. Red hair swayed forward, more covering her face than anything. I couldn’t stand it.
“Yes, Drayton?”
“Are you not feeling well? I know I keep asking what’s wrong, but—Something is wrong.”
The papers dropped the few inches to the table. Her face was… different. Fearful?
My fist drew in and flashes like a dream flickered. The colors blurred, and I barely heard Marian as I tried to make sense of them.
“What happens if I say the wrong answer?”
“There is no wrong answer,” I managed, not able to make sense of the blurred colors I’d seen.
“Then, everything’s wrong.”
“What does that mean?”
She shifted in the chair, seeming uncomfortable as she went back to looking at the papers. The door opened, causing Quinn to lower his book and stand. He walked over as my brother and Elec headed inside. Marian didn’t acknowledge them arriving. She barely even looked up.
“Elec. When did you get here?” I stood, smiling as I headed towards them. “Aren’t we meeting tomorrow?”
Elec paused. “We are. I’m about to go visit my parents.
First,” he said, gripping to Jaxson’s shoulder, “I thought I’d talk with your brother again.
” His voice lowered, glancing at Quinton, but continuing anyway.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about your special place.
Don’t you think your brother would be perfect to join? ”
My pulse hit hard, and not in a good way. I felt unsure which wasn’t right. It was an honor to be part of my secret group. Elec and Jaxson would make great additions. So why did I feel hesitant at the thought?
More colors blinded me, and again I flexed my fingers, drawing my hand into a repeated fist. I blinked hard, glancing back at Marian only for a moment before putting my attention back on the men.
“He would. Jaxson definitely deserves it.”
“He does.” Elec lifted Jaxson’s bandaged hand. “What about this? I heard the story behind it. You felt this was necessary?”
“I did.”
Elec smiled. “Then, good job. You know what you’re doing.” His head tilted, and he looked to the table where Marian sat, scanning papers.
“Is she okay?”
“No. Not that she’ll tell me what’s going on.”
“Hmm.” Elec slapped my shoulder. “Allow me to try. You can tell Jaxson more about the group. He has a lot of questions.”
“Elec.” I grabbed his arm in a death grip before he could take a step.
“I don’t think she’s feeling well. Let’s give her space.
It’s not a good time. She’ll need to see the circle’s doctor when we get to Headquarters.
I have no idea if we were successful but—” I couldn’t even barely get the words out to him.
There were too many emotions I didn’t like warping their way into what I felt should be trust. “I think maybe she’s feeling different or something. Maybe sick or emotional.”
“Possibly.” His brow drew in, and his eyes flickered as he studied her.
Again, I drew in my fingers. “It has been weeks. It completely escaped me. I should have remembered that. Perhaps it wouldn’t be a bad thing if you were to head there a little early.
Just to avoid any complications. Think about it.
I’m going to get this family trip over with so I can be there if you decide to take my advice.
For her safety and possibly the child’s, it might be best. Feel free to bring Jaxson with you if he wants to check the place out.
Not many of our circle are allowed in.” He looked at my brother.
“We can talk more there. It’s easier seeing Headquarters than being told about it. I think you’re going to love it.”
“Marian.” Her face lifted at Elec’s call, and her eyes were full of tears. It had him pausing. “I’m going to take off.”
Her nod was short. Stiff. She had immediately shifted in the chair but went back to the papers.
“Did you see that,” I breathed out. “That’s not normal.”
Elec’s lips twisted. There was something he didn’t like. Something that gave him just as much pause as me.
“Her expression worries me. Women sometimes hide pain, and that’s what I’m detecting.
I’m going to speak to her. Just real quick.
If it is some sort of complication, we want to know.
I’ve seen it all, trust me. I just…” Elec trailed off, multiple expressions playing out.
“I’d feel better talking to her before I left. ”
I took in the way Marian looked on the edge of breaking. Even withholding emotion, I could see the tension. “Alright. Just don’t upset her worse.”
“That’s the last thing we need.”
Elec headed for the table. Involuntarily, my fist tightened again. I turned to Quinn, lowering my voice. “Marian didn’t eat much this morning. Can you go have her some food put together. Something light. Crackers, fruits, cheese. That sort of thing.”
“I’m on it.”
Quinn took off, and Jaxson leaned closer to me.
“It’s true, then? All those whispers about robes and torches? You have a secret group in Hollywood?”
I glanced at him, but went back to watch Elec sit down next to Marian.
“Yeah. You’re really going to have to tell me who’s whispering about it. We’re trying to keep this private.”
“You know I won’t tell a soul.”
I tore my focus from Elec to take in my brother. To really see him. With his dark hair like mine, his light green eyes and naturally tanned skin, he was nearly my twin. Where I was wider in the shoulders and leaner, my brother was a brick house like Quinton.
“The price to get in is blood. It’s secrets. We look out for each other. We take out those we need to. Sometimes we get creative. What are you into?” I asked. “You know what I’m into now.”
“Bone saw?”
“Gigli saw.”
He cringed. “I can’t believe you made Marian—” His face hardened, and he got quiet, looking down. “Right now, it’s just the pain. Needing to see them endure it. To cause it. I’m not where you are. Not even close, but I get it… yet I don’t.”
I let out a deep breath, going back to take in the way Marian’s eyes were clouded with tears as she looked to try to explain something.
“Having a chosen is sacred, Jaxson. It’s the best thing we think could happen to us.
We make these plans in our head. A part of us gives ourselves to the idea of what will become of this future we pray for.
” My jaw tightened. “When we lose that, sometimes we realize we gave a bigger part of ourselves away than we could have imagined. Maybe our entire self. Identity is gone. Life isn’t worth living.
There’s no light without that person. Maybe walls were put around them, or they built them.
” I glanced at him. “When you’re as far gone as I am, none of that matters but one thing: getting that light back.
Even if it means taking a sledgehammer to the source, itself. That light is mine.”
“Well, your light isn’t so happy right now. Do you think that’s what’s wrong? Do you think Marian might be…”
“Pregnant? Maybe.”
“From when you were hurting her?”
My face hardened as I looked at him.
“Maybe. And before you come at me with some lecture, don’t. I can’t change it, Jaxson. I wouldn’t. It doesn’t make sense to you. Hell, it doesn’t sit right with me. It happened. It had to. It’s the only way I can fucking cope with this.”
“How long have you had her, Dray?”
Marian sobbed, pulling down the top of her shirt, immediately burying her face in her hands.
Confusion had my hand coming up. “A few weeks. Hold on.” I headed for the table, moving around to Marian’s side.
I didn’t even look at Elec. I couldn’t with the conflicting urges that were screaming at me to attack him or stay loyal.
“Hey.” I pulled out the chair, sliding in next to her. My arm automatically came out to wrap around her and pull her against me. “What is it? Why are you crying?”
My question had her sobbing harder. I did look at Elec then, but only for an answer. He didn’t give me one. He was too busy pulling out his phone.
“Marian? Elec?”
His eyes cut up full of… suspicion?
“Do you remember what you did last night?”
My lips parted as I blinked through memories.
“Nothing I want to tell you about.”
His head cocked to the side, surprise widening his eyes.
“Let’s try that again.” His stare hardened. “Drayton Pennington, tell me what you did last night.”
My fist repeatedly curled in under the table as I drew Marian closer to me. Colors blurred. An echo of cries and sobs sounded, merging with the one she let out at my pull. Time slowed and confusion nearly choked me, but I managed to push it away as I willed my voice to work.
“We experimented with the traditional roles. Marian, what is it? Did moving you hurt? Are you injured?” I was trying to look into her face, but she wouldn’t meet my gaze.
“And, then?”