Chapter 19
ENZO
Foda-se. I wanted to wait before we had this talk, but Jenna will never open up to me as long as she perceives me as a threat.
I push my fingers through my hair, then turn away from her.
It feels as if a fist grips my heart, squeezing the life from it, and for the first time ever, I consider sharing my darkest moment with another person.
I can’t expect her to talk to me if I’m not willing to do the same.
Merda!
I walk to the huge windows, and crossing my arms over my chest, I say, “Come sit, Jenna.”
Her eyebrows pull together as she cautiously walks toward the nearest couch, and taking a seat, her shoulders slump.
I glance out the window and stare at the trees.
If you want this woman, you have to share your past with her.
When my mouth refuses to open, I make a frustrated sound.
Deus. It’s difficult.
I shake my head, and as I look at where Jenna is staring at me from the couch.
Her lips part, and shock ripples over her face. A moment later, her features crumble into a heartbreaking expression, and I see the question in her eyes.
“Yes,” I whisper.
She lifts her arm, covering her mouth with her hand, then a tear escapes from her left eye.
Disgust rears up in my chest, and close on its heels, debilitating shame.
My voice is hoarse as I say the words out loud for the first time. “I was thirteen and starving.”
One tear after the other begins to roll down her cheeks.
The memories creep out of the deepest pits of hell where I buried them, and I shake my head hard as I mentally fight them back, refusing to let them take hold.
Long minutes pass before I’m able to talk again. “I heard how other kids were making money, and I was desperate. I thought I was willing to do it so I could get something to eat, but I was wrong.”
Five euros for a hand job. That’s what I was told, but those five euros cost me much more.
A soft sob escapes Jenna, and darting to her feet, she rushes around the couch, and I quickly uncross my arms just in time for her to plow into my chest.
“It’s okay,” she says, her voice clear and strong even though it’s trembling. “I understand.”
I engulf her in a tight embrace and press my cheek to the top of her head. “I’ve never told anyone and had planned to take it to my grave, but I need you to know that I…” My voice cracks, and I have to take a moment as destructive emotions move through me.
Jenna pulls back a little and lifts her face to me. When our eyes lock, she finishes my sentence. “You won’t do that to me.” I see the trust forming in her eyes, then she says, “I’ll take your secret to the grave with me. Along with my own.”
She lets go of me and takes a couple of steps backward, and I watch as indecision plays over her face.
“How old were you?” I ask in an attempt to make things easier for her.
She pulls her phone out of her pocket, and I patiently wait as she types before holding the device out to me.
Taking it from her, I read the words, and I clench my jaw so hard that my molars grind against each other.
17. 4 Men. 4 hours.
“Who?” I growl, my eyes snapping to hers.
She shakes her head, then she turns around and walks in the direction of the kitchen.
I look down at her phone and read the words again.
She was gang raped for four hours.
I was in the back of that cab for five to ten minutes before he threw me out onto the icy street.
Four hours. That’s a fucking eternity.
Indescribable anger pours through my veins.
I will find out who they are, and I’ll do the same to them that I did to Martim.
My phone rings, ripping me out of my thoughts. Pulling the device out of my pocket, I check the screen and see it’s John.
“What?” I answer, my tone brimming with the rage I still feel.
“Just checking how you are?”
“I’m fine. Did the trucks go out on time?” I ask.
“Yeah. So…where are you?”
We don’t have the type of work relationship where we chat about trivial things, and it has me snapping, “Get back to work!”
I end the call and shove my phone back into my pocket, then I walk to the kitchen, where I find Jenna busy chopping up vegetables.
She sniffs and uses the back of her hand to wipe the tears off her cheeks, then continues cutting a carrot.
Without saying a word, I move closer. I grab the pack of rice from where she left it on the counter, and removing a pot from the cupboard, I pour some rice into it before adding water and setting it on the stove.
“Are you okay with stir-fry?” she asks, her voice soft again.
I nod, and now that I know what we’re making, I pull a pan out of the drawer where it’s kept. I set it down before going to the pantry to get the olive oil and spices.
Jenna moves the bowl with the strips of steak closer to me, then continues with the vegetables.
As I begin to fry the meat, Jenna keeps glancing at me until I say, “You’re going to cut yourself.”
Her eyes snap down, and she pays closer attention to what she’s doing. “How’s your wound?”
“Fine.”
“When we’re done eating, I’ll take a look.”
My eyebrow lifts, along with the corner of my mouth. “Okay.”
Do we have to eat first?
JENNA
Everything feels different.
While we’re eating, I can’t stop looking at Enzo. After what he shared with me, I trust that he won’t hurt me.
Knowing he understands what I’ve been through suddenly makes me feel so much closer to him.
Just like him, I never thought I’d tell anyone that I was raped, but after he told me what happened to him, I couldn’t keep the secret to myself anymore.
My eyes are locked on his face as he eats, and it’s difficult to accept that this strong man was once a starving boy who suffered the unspeakable.
“Don’t pity me,” he suddenly says.
“I don’t,” I reply, my food completely forgotten. “I’m admiring how strong you are.”
Enzo’s gaze snaps to mine, and when he sees I mean the words, he relaxes.
“How did you meet Cassia and the others?” I ask.
“Dominik contacted us all because we had the same enemy. We had a meeting and agreed to form an alliance to show a force of strength to keep them at bay.”
“And did you?”
He nods.
“Who was the enemy?”
“The bratva. They’ll always be a problem.” He lets out a sigh. “Cassia managed to secure a business deal with them years ago, and it’s helped.”
Not knowing who he’s talking about, I ask, “Who is the bratva?”
“The Russian mafia.”
My eyes widen, and not wanting to talk about that anymore, I change the subject and ask, “Why are you fighting with the MC?”
“They interfered with my business.” He stands up and carries his empty plate to the sink. “I opened a factory that produces counterfeit goods, and they thought they could charge me a fee for operating in their territory.”
“And you don’t want to pay the fee?”
Enzo comes to stand by the island, and a brutal look hardens his face.
Fear tenses my muscles, and my mouth grows dry.
“I don’t bow to anyone. Ever.” He must see the fear on my face because he relaxes again, softening his features. “Dealing with them is child’s play, so there’s nothing for you to be worried about.”
Child’s play? The MC? They’ve been terrorizing the St. Louis area for decades.
“Are you done eating?” Enzo asks.
“Oh.” I nod and quickly stand up. I put my leftover food in the microwave so I can have it later and give Enzo an uncertain look. “Do you want to shower before I change your bandage?”
“Yes. Give me ten minutes.”
“Okay.”
As he leaves the kitchen, I think today is the most I’ve talked to someone who’s not Mom since that night, and with every word, it’s getting easier.
While Enzo is busy, I grab the first aid kit from the cupboard, and when my gaze lands on the bottle of painkillers, I frown.
Enzo hasn’t complained about pain at all. Surely a gunshot wound like that hurts a lot.
I take the painkillers and also get a bottle of water, and head upstairs with my haul. The door is open, and when I enter the bedroom, I hear the shower stop.
Shoot! He’s not done yet. Should I leave?
I set everything down on the bedside table and begin to fix the covers on the bed. Just as I fluff out the pillows, the bathroom door opens. I glance briefly at Enzo before setting the pillow down, then my eyes dart back to him, and I almost choke on a random drop of spit.
He only has a towel wrapped around his waist.
“Don’t panic,” he says, while I stare at his chest and V-cut abs, which are something I’ve never seen.
Now that I know I can trust him, I manage to remain calm and don’t make a run for my room.
Instead, I pick up the first aid kit and whisper, “Come sit.”
Enzo moves closer, and with every step he takes, my body tenses a little, but it’s not as bad as before.
I keep my eyes on the medical supplies while he sits down on the bed, then he asks, “How are you holding up, meu corac?o?”
I glance up and see he still has the towel in place where he’s sitting propped up against the pillows. I just nod, because the words don’t want to come.
When I step closer and begin to sit down beside Enzo, his voice is very gentle as he says, “You don’t have to do this if it makes you uncomfortable.”
Unexpectedly, his words make something shift deep inside me. It feels as if a part of me that’s remained askew for years clicks back into place.
I haven’t been able to fully trust anyone since the rape, but as I stare at Enzo and see the tenderness in his eyes, I fall irrevocably in trust with him.
It’s a big thing for me. Bigger than the crush I have on him, which hasn’t lessened at all, even after he told me he’s a killer.
Enzo’s gaze sharpens on me. “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”
I lower my eyes to the stitches, and remembering why I’m sitting beside him, I open the first aid kit and take out the antiseptic wipes and a fresh bandage.
When I have to lean over him again, and my body presses against his, there’s an intense fluttering in my stomach.
Fantasizing about the man is one thing. Taking care of his wound while he has only a towel draped over his lap is an entirely different thing.
My face heats up as I carefully wipe the area around the stitches clean.
His tone is low and deep as he asks, “Why are you blushing, meu corac?o?”
I feel my cheeks turn even redder, and when I pull back and reach over to the bedside table to set the used wipe down, Enzo lifts his hand and takes hold of my jaw. Even though he forces me to look at him, he keeps his touch gentle.
“Answer me,” he demands.
For a moment, my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth, and it takes a few seconds before I’m able to mumble, “I’m shy.”
“That’s not why you’re blushing.” His thumb brushes over my skin. “When you look at me, do you like what you see, meu anjinho?”
It’s only then that I realize Enzo has made it very clear he wants me, but I haven’t reciprocated in any way.
Unable to voice my reply, I nod.
He lets go of my jaw while the corner of his mouth lifts. “Yeah? The tattoos aren’t scaring you off?”
My gaze lowers to his chest, and I look at the devil and the burning man. I think I know the answer, but still I ask, “What does it mean?”
“I had to become the devil so I could kill my monster.”
Slowly, I lift my gaze back to his. “Did you?”
Enzo nods. “After torturing him, I set him on fire and watched as he burned until he was nothing but ashes.”
Even though his violent words shock me, I don’t look away.
I picture my own monsters burning, and for the first time, thinking about them doesn’t bring me any panic, only a weird mixture of satisfaction and anger.
“I’ll do the same for you. Just give me their names,” Enzo says, pulling me out of my thoughts.
Not wanting to talk about this subject anymore, I pull the back part off the bandage and lean over Enzo again to carefully stick it over the wound.
I climb to my feet, and as I reach for the bottle of painkillers to ask Enzo if he needs some, he gets off the bed. He ends up standing dangerously close to me.
Enzo’s fingers wrap around the back of my neck while his other hand takes hold of my jaw again. As he leans over me, his eyes taking mine prisoner, my heartbeat speeds up dangerously fast, and my insides turn to a fluttering mess.
“Let me take revenge for you, meu corac?o. Give me their names so I can turn them to ashes for you.”
I can’t think about them right now. Not with Enzo leaning over me, and his body so close, I can feel the heat coming from him.
My gaze lowers a fraction, and the instant I look at his mouth, framed by dark bristles, intense nervousness and anticipation flood my entire body.
Surprise flashes over Enzo’s face, then his mouth lifts in a pleased smile. “I’m going to kiss you.” His voice is very low, and it sounds so seductive, my breaths come faster.
The moment is straight out of my fantasies as his head slowly lowers, his eyes boring into mine.
Holy crap.
I forget to breathe when he’s less than an inch away from my face, and my eyes drift closed.
The instant I feel his mouth pressing against mine, my heart explodes into a million fireworks. Powerful tingles spread through me, my stomach feels like it’s on the wildest rollercoaster ever, and my abdomen clenches.
But then Enzo pulls back, and my eyes snap open.
The magical moment fades away, making me feel disappointed.
Enzo’s eyebrow lifts when he sees my reaction. “I thought I’d keep it PG-rated like those dramas you like to watch, but fuck that.”
His fingers tighten around the back of my neck, and as he pulls me closer, he leans back in and his mouth crashes against mine.
When his lips start to nip and tug at mine, the fireworks, tingles, rollercoaster, and clenching return full force.
I’m flooded with so many sensations and emotions, I stand frozen as Enzo forces my lips to part with his tongue. When he strokes over mine, I begin to tremble from how intense this moment is.
I have zero time to get used to what I’m experiencing right now. Enzo wraps his arm around my back and pulls me against his bare chest. I’m forced to stand on my tiptoes and have to grab hold of his shoulders when the kiss turns hungry and so passionate, I swear I see color burst behind my eyelids.
My body takes over control as my mind keeps misfiring, and I begin to mimic his movements. I’m slow compared to Enzo, but I think I’m doing something right because he lets out a groan.
He tilts his head, and his hand settles against my cheek, while his arm around my back tightens even more. My feet leave the ground as I’m pulled up higher, and I quickly wrap my arms around his neck.
It registers that Enzo is kissing me, and it makes me feel special and wanted.