Chapter Five
My dreams have been haunted by them for the past two days. Three very different men, yet somehow all invoke the same feelings within me.
It’s exhilarating. I know I’ll probably never see them again.
They didn’t ask for my number and I wasn’t smart enough to ask for theirs, but still the fantasy lives on in my head.
They have my address, though, and if I wanted to go all stalker, I technically have theirs too when I took pictures of their licenses, but that’s not me.
I’m not the girl who is confident enough to show up at a man’s house and beg for their attention.
Hell, I don’t even know which man I would be showing up for.
Pulling on my favorite yellow dress with red cardinals all over it, I look at myself in the mirror. Today I won’t be getting dirty, so I get to dress pretty, but I still pack a change of clothes should the need arise for me to jump in and help.
I’m grabbing my purse and getting ready to head out when there’s a knock at my door.
My heart is racing in my chest. Could it be them? They know where I live. Maybe they realized they forgot to ask for my number?
My feet lead me to the door before I realize what I’m doing. When I swing it open, I deflate. It’s not any of the men from Friday night. I know logically I can’t have all of them, but I had hoped maybe one of them wanted to see me again.
Trying to push the disappointment away, I smile at the young man.
“Can I help you?” I ask.
“Are you Esme?” he asks.
“Yes.”
He holds out a coffee and a bag.
“I didn’t order this,” I tell him.
“It’s paid for. There’s a note in the bag. Have a nice day, ma’am,” he says, shaking the bag in front of me.
I grab the coffee and donuts and watch as the kid darts back down the stairs to his car.
Stepping back inside, I set both items on the counter before I open the bag. There, in chicken scratch-like writing, is a note.
We had a great time Friday. Hope to see your beautiful face again soon.
There is no signature, so I have no idea if it is from one of them or all of them. I am going to assume all, since it says we. There is also no doubt in my mind it’s from them because there was no one else it could be.
My stomach erupts with butterflies.
They want to see me again.
Or at least one of them does. My mind drifts to all three men.
Who would I want it to be from?
Silent, but protective Walker? It felt so amazing to sit in his arms all night. He was respectful in the way he touched me, but when he reached back as he was driving me home and placed his hand on my thigh? It was so innocent yet also the most erotic thing I have ever felt.
Then there’s Hudson. He is so funny and sweet.
Anytime I felt like I should leave, he would distract me with a joke or story and get me laughing again.
It was as if he was in tune with my emotions and knew when things were beginning to become too much for me.
The way his hand felt in mine was electrifying.
Even with Walker’s arm around my shoulders, I could only focus on Hudson in that moment. He commanded my attention.
Then there’s Levi. Other than a kiss on the cheek before they left me, he didn’t touch me much, but his eyes said enough.
Throughout the evening, I could feel them on me.
It was like our own secret embrace. I can tell he is the more serious one of the group.
I feel like he has a lot on his shoulders.
That part of him calls to me. I need that kind of reliability and stability.
All three call to me in a different way. I only wish they were one man. Then they would be perfect for me. They could fill all the parts of me that have been missing my entire life.
I let out a deep sigh.
Maybe it’s for the best they didn’t show up. I would never be able to choose between the three.
Getting a little ahead of yourself, Es.
Picking up one of the chocolate croissants, I take a bite. I assume that there would even be a choice. Maybe only one of them wants me.
That should make me feel relieved. If only one wants me, I don’t need to make a decision. It doesn’t, though. It makes me sad to think that all three wouldn’t want me the way I want them.
Troy always said that I wasn’t worth a damn. Maybe he was right. Maybe I made all of this up in my head, and these men are using me for some sex thing. Or maybe they plan to traffic me.
Taking a sip of the coffee, I moan when I realize it is pumpkin spice. It’s my favorite this time of the year, and I told them as much on Friday.
They listen well.
Shaking my head, I look at the time. I’ll be late if I don’t leave soon.
I need to put all thoughts about Friday and the three gorgeous men out of my head. If I let them, they will distract me all day.
There’s no point in dreaming for things out of your reach anyway. I always knew that I wasn’t anything special. It’s why my mom abandoned me when I was a baby. It’s the same reason no one adopted me.
I was never meant for great things, so why would the universe throw me a lifeline now?
Pushing the coffee and donuts away, I grab my keys.
There’s no point in indulging. I’ll only end up hurt in the end.
“She got the delivery,” I tell Hudson and Walker as we sit in the main area of our living quarters.
It’s not much. Just one large room with a small kitchenette in the corner with four rooms off of it. Three for us and one for the man who forced us to join his clan.
I shake my thoughts away from him. Zade is dead now and can no longer touch us, yet his actions are haunting this club.
“Are we sure this is a good thing? We have so much shit going on right now. Do we even want to bring someone into the fold?” Hudson asks.
“Yes,” Walker answers without hesitation.
He’s not a man of many words. Usually he would let me fight this one, but the fact that he spoke up shows how much he likes this girl.
“You don’t even know her, man. She is sweet and pretty, but what about her really makes you want to keep her?
We don’t even know if she would be willing to share.
Are you going to leave the clan if she decides she only wants you?
Or worse, what if she wants me instead? I am the more charismatic one of the two. ”
Walker clenches his fist. “She is the girl for us. I felt it the moment she kissed me. The way she ran to us when she needed help. We will keep her.”
“So she ran to the scary bikers when her douchebag ex was harassing her. I bet any other girl would do that too,” Hudson throws out flippantly.
I see what this really is, though. He’s scared. He felt it too. We all did. She could fit into our group perfectly. We just don’t know if she wants to. That’s what scares him.
“She wants all three of us,” I throw out there. “I saw the way her eyes lit up when each of us kissed her cheek. We need to take it slow and give it time. If it is meant to be, then we sit her down and explain how we work and we go from there.”
Hudson rolls his eyes as he stands. “Whatever, man. This is going to end badly. Walker is going to be so fucked up on women after this, we will be lucky to ever find the perfect girl.”
Walker stands to get into Hudson’s face. “She is the perfect girl. Stop trying to ruin it.”
Hudson pushes back. “I’m being realistic.
Most women want a monogamous relationship.
Poly relationships might be becoming more popular, but the world isn’t there yet.
I like Esme, but I need to set my expectations low.
She’s a good girl. Even if it intrigues her, I don’t see her being in this for the long haul. ”
He deflates at his last words before he turns and stalks out of the room.
Walker is still pent up, though. He wants a fight.
“He’s right. We need to be prepared for rejection,” I tell Walker.
He growls, turning toward me. I see it in his eyes. He needs release.
Within several steps, he is standing over me.
“What do you need?” I ask him, glancing up into his eyes.
He licks his lips. “I need her.”
I nod as I stand to face him. “I’ll do what I can to get you her,” I tell him.
His hand flies up to my neck, squeezing lightly. I don’t move.
Then he pulls me into him as his lips meet mine. It’s not a soft kiss. Not the one I know he would give our girl.
This is a power move. He is showing me that he is stronger and can overpower me. Or at least he can when I don’t fight back.
I let him kiss me hard and rough as he undoes my pants. When he shoves them down, I step out of them. Then I strip out of my shirt as he undoes his own pants.
“What do you want? My mouth or ass?” I ask.
“Both,” he grunts.
I drop to my knees in front of him, looking at his throbbing cock. Usually it’s for me, but not today. No, it throbs for her.
Licking it from base to the tip, I take my time. I try to mimic how I think Esme would do it if she were here. I want to give him this in case it’s all we get.
He groans, his eyes falling closed. I pay special attention to the Jacob’s ladder he has, rolling my tongue around each piece of jewelry.
When he lets out a small groan, I move on.
Sucking the head into my mouth, I flick my tongue across the head.
Then I push forward, taking as much of him into my mouth as I can.
He doesn’t say a word, but when he grunts, I know what he needs. He wants more.
So I speed up, taking him faster as I hollow out my cheeks.
Suddenly, his hand is in my hair as he starts to fuck my face. I let him, knowing I can take his aggression.
He pulls me off after a few minutes, his cock practically jerking from how close he was.
I let him grab my arms and push me over to the couch. When he bends me over, I know it won’t be me he’s fucking. Somehow that has my own cock jerking in anticipation. While he’s fucking me, he will be thinking about her, which means I will be thinking about him fucking her too.
“Lube,” I remind him.
I let him use me however he wants, but I don’t need him destroying my ass.
He growls, but then I hear Hudson from the other side of the room.
“Here.”
His voice is husky as he walks over to us. Instead of handing the lube to Walker, he squirts it on his dick and strokes him a few times. Then he presses two fingers inside my tight ass. I groan at the feeling.
Then Hudson steps back far enough that he isn’t participating but close enough that I can still see him. He unbuttons his pants as he uses the lube to jack his own cock.
Walker pushes forward, his cock ready at my ass. He thrusts in all at once. The pain is mixed with the pleasure, but he doesn’t give me time to adjust. He starts to fuck me like it’s the last thing he will ever get to do.
I reach down between my own legs, stroking myself as he fucks me. I imagine my hand is Esme’s. The way she would bring me to pleasure while Walker finds his own pleasure inside of me.
It’s intoxicating. Thrilling. I want more.
I push back into him, arching my back as he hits my prostate. It only takes a few strokes before I see stars, spilling my cum all over the back of the couch.
I hear Hudson grunt, looking over to see him come as well.
Walker is a bit tougher. He goes another three minutes before coming.
“Pixie,” he growls out, and I know he thought of her the whole time.
Usually that would upset a lover, but not me. I wish she were here. We would worship her.
When Walker finally pulls out of me, I stand, wincing at the slight pain in my ass. I can feel his cum dripping out of me.
“Feel better?” I ask him.
He grunts but nods.
“What about you? You stormed out of here then came back. Why?” I ask Hudson point blank.
“I want her too. I’m sorry I said all of that, but I don’t know if we can handle another fail,” he admits.
We all come together in a group hug.
“It’ll be okay. We will survive. Let this play out the way the universe wants. If it’s meant to be, they will send us a sign.”
No one speaks after that. Instead, we pull away and get to cleaning up.
When we are done, I go back to doing the work no one else wants to do. I might not be the official leader of our group. We don’t have one of those, but Lord knows they want me to act like it.
Sighing, I shoot a thought out to the universe.
Please let Esme want us as much as we want her.