Chapter Fourteen
Pacing, I wring my hands together as I work on my speech.
“I’ve thought about it long and hard, and I’ve decided that I want to date all three of you.
Together at the same time. I want to try this.
” I shake my head and try again. “You guys told me you would give me time to decide, and well, I have. I can’t imagine walking away from any of you, so I would like to give this a real go.
I want to see what you guys have in mind when it comes to dating as one,” I say out loud to an empty room.
I run my hands through my hair and pull.
“This is ridiculous,” I mutter to myself.
How does one tell three guys that she’s not willing to give any of them up? That she doesn’t want to walk away from any of them, possibly ever?
Ever since I texted them, asking them to come over, I’ve felt nauseous.
I don’t regret texting them, and I still want them as badly as I did when I first realized that there was no giving one up.
I just wish I would have taken a little more time to come up with a better game plan.
Instead, I acted on instinct and went in full speed ahead.
I should know better by now.
My doorbell rings, making me freeze.
Oh god. They are here.
I look at the clock and see that it’s barely been an hour since I asked them to come over. God, couldn’t they have given me more time?
Pausing at the door, I let out a deep breath, centering myself before I open it.
This is it.
I open the door. “Hey guys.”
“Pixie,” Walker grumbles.
He leans down and kisses my cheek as I let him in.
“Darlin’. Missed you,” Hudson says as he passes by, dropping a quick kiss on my cheek.
As the other two make themselves at home in my place, I turn to Levi.
“Hi.”
“Hi, you okay?”
Something about the way he asks makes me relax. “I’m good. Promise.”
He nods and steps forward. He kisses me softly on the cheek as he shuts the door.
“Does anyone need anything to drink?” I ask breathlessly, after Levi pulls away.
“We’re good, Pixie. Why don’t you come sit?” Walker asks.
Sit. I can do that. Easy enough.
As I walk toward him, I catch my reflection in the mirror. My eyes are wide, my hair is a mess, and I look slightly paler than normal.
Jesus.
I really should have waited. I should have taken the time to make sure I was presentable ahead of them coming over. I’m a fucking mess.
“Esme,” Levi says firmly, placing his hand on my shoulder, pulling me out of my spiraling thoughts.
“Yeah?” I ask as I stare at us in the mirror.
He looks really good standing behind me. All big and tall. He makes me look tiny and makes me feel like I’m protected all at once.
“Are you good, or do you want us to leave?” Levi asks gruffly.
I squeeze my eyes shut and shake my head. “I want you to stay.”
“Are you sure? There’s no pressure here,” Hudson reminds me.
Opening my eyes, I look at all three men, letting them know I’m serious. “I’m sure.”
“Sit, please?” Walker asks.
I shake my head as Levi sits next to him.
“Not yet. I will, but I need to get this out.”
Walker and Hudson nod.
“Take your time,” Levi tells me.
Once again I begin to pace back and forth.
“I really should have written this all down,” I tell them, making them laugh.
“You got this. We don’t care how you say it, as long as it comes from the heart,” Hudson tells me.
“Okay, so when you guys brought up the idea of a poly relationship, I thought you were crazy.” The guys wince, but I roll on. “Really, I never saw how it could work. Was it a fantasy? Absolutely. But I was thinking long term, but then five things happened that changed my mind.”
“What changed your mind?” Walker asks, cutting me off.
I should be annoyed by his interruption, but I’m not.
“You guys took me on a date. Each of you took time to plan a date that was very specifically chosen with me in mind, and I’ve never had that before.
Hudson.” I look at him. “You found a scary movie marathon for us, blew my mind, and then let me take a little nap on you.” I look over at Walker.
“You brought me flowers and took me painting.” I feel my cheeks heat, but I push on as I look at Levi.
“Then you took photos of me. You showed me how beautiful I am through your eyes.” I shake my head.
“Add in the pumpkin patch date, and well, my top four dates ever are owned by you guys. I would be stupid to walk away from you now. Not when you’ve never given me a reason to doubt that you want this. That you guys want me.”
Walker leans forward. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“I’m saying I want to date all three of you openly. I don’t know what that looks like exactly, but I’m excited for you guys to show me. I just, I need you to be patient with me if I get scared.”
“Always,” Levi says with no hesitation.
Hudson jumps up and grabs me, swinging me around.
“Fuck yes!” he shouts, making me laugh.
“Put her down before you make her sick,” Walker grumbles.
Hudson sets me down but doesn’t let go, which I’m thankful for because the room is still spinning.
“Wait, you said five things. You only listed off four,” Walker points out.
I smile softly at him. “The fifth was that I got a little bit of advice from someone with experience in this type of relationship.”
“What did they say?” Levi asks, tilting his head to the side.
“She told me if I took the leap, I wouldn’t regret it.”
Hudson squeezes me tight. “You won’t.”
“I know.”
“I know.”
She says it so softly and so surely. Like she doesn’t question at all the fact that we will do whatever it takes to make her happy, and we won’t.
I don’t know if I’ve ever wanted something so badly in my life, and I know my brothers feel the same way.
Hudson lets go of her, and Walker gets up and steps forward.
I watch as he so gently cups her face. Touching her so much differently than when he touches me. I love the way he fucks me, but there’s something about looking at the two of them together. They just look so damn right.
An image of watching them have sex rolls through my mind.
Fuck me. I can’t wait to see that up close and personal.
“Are you sure?” he asks gruffly.
She smiles up at him and nods. “Yes.”
He leans down and hovers over her lips. “You won’t regret this, Pixie.”
He covers her lips with his and takes his time kissing her slowly.
It feels intimate as fuck.
Hudson’s eyebrows wing up, and he looks at me.
“Fucking hot,” he mouths, making me roll my eyes.
I stand and clear my throat.
Walker pulls away, and I pull her into my arms. “We go at your pace. You set the rules. All we need to know is what’s off the table, either permanently or until you become more comfortable.”
She rests her chin on my chest and nibbles on her lip. “I don’t think I’m quite ready to go all the way with all of you at once. Honestly, that’s kind of intimidating, but I would like to see how it would be for everything else.”
I brush a piece of hair out of her face. “We can do that.”
I lean down and kiss her, not as long as Walker, but just as deeply. Only when she’s breathless do I pull away.
“So where do you want to start? Do you want to go on a date or something?” Hudson asks as he rubs his hands together.
She turns her head to look at him, but rests it right over my heart.
“Like now?”
“Why not?” he shrugs.
Esme takes her time responding.
“Honestly, if you don’t mind, I think I would rather stay in. Maybe we could watch a movie or something?” she asks, sounding hopeful.
“Works for me,” I tell her.
“I hate people with the exception of you three,” Walker tells her, making her giggle.
If only she knew how true that statement is. She’s in for a rude awakening with how much he truly dislikes other people.
“I got an idea, but I need access to all your blankets and shit,” Hudson tells her.
Esme pulls away, and I fight the urge to pull her back into my arms.
“Follow me.”
Like ducklings, we fall in line behind her, no questions asked.
She opens up a hall closet. “Okay, there is a bunch of bedding in here. Then feel free to take whatever you want from my bedroom and the guest room. Oh, and there’s a big basket in the corner of my living room with a bunch of different blankets in it as well that we can use.”
I place my hand on her shoulder. “We got this. How about you go change into something comfortable?”
A little line forms between her brows. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
She nods. “Okay, sure. Are you guys hungry or anything? I have some snacks and stuff we can pull out, or we can order something.”
“Are you hungry?” Walker asks, flipping the script.
Esme slow blinks, like she’s not used to having someone ask about her needs, which just pisses me off. What the hell is wrong with all the men she dated before us? Then again, I guess that just goes to show that she dated little boys and not men.
“Maybe a little. Nothing heavy, though,” she tells him.
“Okay, we got this,” I tell her.
She nods and turns down the hall, walking into her bedroom. I can’t help but smile as she leaves the bedroom door open, trusting us not to do something we shouldn’t.
Walker and I grab everything we can from the hall closet while Hudson goes into the guest bedroom. We stack all the sheets on the bottom, followed by the three comforters she has.
“Do you think I should grab the one from her bed?” Hudson asks.
Walker shakes his head, but it’s me who speaks.
“No, let’s leave her bed intact. That way she doesn’t have to fix it later,” I tell him quietly.
Hudson looks down the hall before looking back at us.
“This is real life, right? Like I’m not dreaming or anything?” Despite the fact he’s whispering, you can tell he’s clearly excited.
“It’s happening. I told you it would all work out,” I tell him before looking at Walker. “Will you go check out the food situation and figure that out, please?”
“Got it.” He nods and heads out of the room.
While he’s gone, Hudson and I lay all the pillows down. Just as we are finishing up the makeshift bed, Esme comes out wearing an adorable matching pajama set. The top has buttons down the front, and it’s paired with a pair of pants. The outfit is black with little bats on it.
If anyone else would have come out wearing it, I would have thought it was childish, but on her, it fits.
And it’s fucking adorable.
Especially with her hair in two braids that hang over her shoulders.
“Do you guys need any help?” she asks.
“No, we’re good. Come lay down.” I take her hand and usher her onto the bed.
“This is amazing,” she says softly.
“I’m glad you approve.”
I sit down next to her, on her left.
“Where’s Walker?”
“Here,” he says as he walks back into the room. “I hope you don’t mind, but I made you a little snack board. I also ordered pizza that will be here in a while.”
“This is perfect. Thank you.” She smiles up at him.
Walker takes a seat next to her on her right.
She looks over at Hudson and blushes slightly. “Would you like to sit between my legs?”
“Fuck yes.”
Hudson dives onto the makeshift bed, making her laugh. He lies down and rests his head on her upper thigh. Esme rests her head on Walker’s shoulder and starts playing with Hudson’s hair. Her free hand creeps over, making me smile. Reaching over, I take her hand in mine, making her sigh.
“You good, Pixie?” Walker murmurs as he starts to flip through the channels, looking for a movie to watch.
“I’m perfect. This is perfect,” she says quietly.
I couldn’t agree more.