Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
REBECCA
The last four weeks since I married Tobias have flown by, but now that the flurry of activity and excitement has passed, I’m back to wandering around this enormous mansion like a spare part.
Tobias tries to spend as much time with us as he can, but he’s a busy man with many responsibilities.
I can’t expect him to be at my beck and call.
I’ve spent a lot of time mulling over the chat we had before our wedding, and I think I may have an inkling of what I’d like to try that allows me to still take care of Isla.
Even if I was ready to hand her over to a nanny, I don’t think Tobias would be.
Not until he finds out why he had such a powerful reaction to Victoria’s suggestion.
When I arrive, the dining room is empty.
A member of staff immediately appears, fussing over Isla and taking our breakfast order.
I’m still not entirely comfortable with being waited on hand and foot.
Whenever I try to help myself, the staff almost look disappointed, as though they’ve failed me in some way.
Footsteps sound along the hallway, and seconds later, Saskia appears.
“Morning.” She grins at me and gives Isla a hug. “God, I need coffee. What a week.” She flops into one of the dining chairs. “Mainlining caffeine seems like a good idea this morning.”
“Try every morning.”
She points her finger at me. “No lies detected.” She orders an egg white omelet and a large pot of coffee. “How are you doing? All settled in now?”
“Pretty much. You’ve all been so wonderful.”
“You’re family.” She smiles gratefully at the member of staff who brings the pot of coffee. “It seems like you’ve been here forever. I’m sure I speak for all of us when I say I can’t imagine Oakleigh without you and Isla now.”
“Seconded.” Christian and Grace stroll in.
Christian high-fives Isla, and Grace kisses the top of her head.
My heart swells with gratitude. If it weren’t for Tobias and this family having my back, I know, with utter certainty, I’d have lost custody of Isla.
Felicity would have swept in with her fancy lawyers and contacts in all the right places and taken my daughter from me.
It’s that very fact which is stopping me from agreeing to Preston’s request. I can’t forgive them for using Marcus’s death to try to take her from me.
Even if I’m magnanimous and accept they had Isla’s best interests at heart, it still cuts me deeply.
At least I never got an invite to Marcus’s funeral, so I didn’t have to decline.
It’s one more piece of evidence to show how irrelevant they found me, yet somehow, I’m expected to be the forgiving one.
Our food arrives. I cut up Isla’s into small pieces and hand her a fork.
“Where’ve you been all week?” Christian directs his question to Saskia, one eyebrow raised.
Saskia shrugs. “Just work stuff.”
“What work stuff?”
She glares at her brother. “What are you, my keeper? Work stuff. I don’t report to you.” When her omelet arrives, she picks up her fork and cuts off a slice. “Got a problem, ask Dad.”
“Ooh, testy.”
“If you don’t quit harping on at me, you’ll be one ‘testy’ short. Got it?”
Grace snuffs a laugh. “Please leave him intact. I could need both if we’re ever to have kids.”
Saskia grunts. “Fine, but only for you, Grace.”
“I’m feeling attacked.” Christian grins, clearly unbothered by his sister’s threats.
“Then, stop being an a-hole.”
Tobias wanders in, choosing the chair on Isla’s right-hand side. “He can’t. It’s ingrained since birth.”
Christian throws his hands out to the side. “And the great pile-on begins.”
Food forgotten, Isla climbs off her chair and holds out her arms to Tobias.
He reaches down and lifts her onto his lap as though he’s been doing it her entire life.
Pulling her plate toward him, he hands her a fork, and she digs in.
While he’s busy with Isla, I study his face.
He appears edgy, distracted. He must sense me looking because he twists his head.
His smile is strained, and there’s dark circles beneath his eyes.
The banter between Tobias and his brother continues throughout breakfast. Eventually, everyone drifts off, leaving the three of us behind.
As soon as it’s just us, Tobias’s shoulders drop and he sighs.
“Are you all right?”
He grimaces. “Still nothing from the PI.”
“It’s only been a week.”
“He’s one of the best. I expected him to have results in a couple of days.”
I tentatively reach out, covering his hand with mine. He doesn’t flinch or pull away. “Give it time. He’ll find her.”
“I hope so.” He takes a sip of coffee and stares off into the distance.
“Hey, I think I might know what I want to do for a living, or at least try.”
He brightens, giving me his full, dazzling attention.
My stomach flips. He’s handsome all the time, but when his eyes sparkle like that, I lose all cognitive thought.
After the trauma I suffered at Marcus’s hands, I truly believed I was immune to all men.
Tobias has slowly chipped away at my armor until it’s dissolved.
It’s time to face facts. I am falling in love with a man who has made it abundantly clear he is not in the market for any kind of a physical relationship, and what’s worse is I told him I felt the same.
And I did. Then.
Life can be so cruel sometimes.
“Go on.”
“Well, as it’s a few months before Isla will attend school, I had to come up with something that allows me to still look after her when she needs my attention.”
“You’re killing me here, Wren. Spit it out.”
The nickname only Tobias uses makes me feel all gooey inside. Yep. It’s official. I’m a goner.
“When I was younger, I used to draw quite a bit, and I was pretty good at it. I’ve also read more children’s books to Isla than most adults have had hot dinners. So… I’m thinking of writing and illustrating children’s books that I can sell online.”
“That is a fantastic idea.”
“You think so?”
“I know so. It’s brilliant.”
A warmth takes root in my chest at his unwavering support. “I don’t expect to make a lot of money, or any money, really, but it’ll feel good doing something, you know?”
“Money doesn’t matter, satisfaction does. Besides, if it’s what you want, I can introduce you to some of the UK’s top publishers.”
I grimace. “Nepotism at its finest.”
“Or maybe just taking opportunities that are presented to you.”
“If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather just try selling them myself online. To start with, anyway. I want to prove to myself that I can do this, do something for me, something I create on my own.”
“Whatever you want. I’m proud of you.” He turns his hand beneath mine and squeezes my fingers. “Maybe one day, I’ll be able to say I’m married to a bestselling author of children’s books.”
I laugh. “One day at a time. I might not be any good at it.”
He lets me go, and I immediately miss his touch. “Writing and illustration are learned skills. Some people may have a natural ability, but that doesn’t mean those without can’t be hugely successful.”
I adore how he throws himself into supporting me. There are many days I wish I’d met Tobias first, and this is one of them. Not that our paths would have ordinarily crossed if it weren’t for Marcus dragging me to Tobias’s club.
Speaking of which…
“I have a favor to ask you.”
“Uh-oh. Do I need to brace?”
I wince. “Maybe.”
“Blimey, I was joking. Now I’m nervous.”
I fire a look at Isla. She’s not paying either of us any attention. “If Imogen or Vicky don’t mind babysitting Isla tonight, I’d like to visit The Lair.”
If I’d said I wanted to invite my former mother-in-law over for tea, I could not have shocked him more. His eyes flare wide, his eyebrows shooting up his forehead.
“The Lair? Wow. I did not see that coming. Why?”
“I talked to Jane about it at my last session. Going back allows me to reclaim my power and to conquer my fears when I know, deep down, there’s nothing to be afraid of.”
He pulls in his lips. “I haven’t been back myself since it reopened. I should at least check on the staff, make sure everything is running okay, if that works for you?”
“That works.”
He reaches for my hand again. It’s becoming more natural now, this touching each other in a warm, platonic way. I wish it were more. I want it to be more.
It will never be more.
“You’ve become such a friend to me. I’m not sure how I survived without you,” Tobias tells me softly.
“Oh, behave.” I playfully flick his arm with my free hand. “You make me sound like some sort of saint.”
“I think you are.”
I angle my head to the side. “Now I know you’re messing with me.”
He presses a hand to his chest. “I’m wounded. This is from the heart.”
“Sure it is.” This time, I break our contact by sliding my hand from his. I push back my chair. “I’ll go find Imogen or Vicky and see if they don’t mind watching over Isla tonight.” I hold out my hand to her. “Want to come with me, pumpkin?”
She shakes her head and nestles closer to Tobias. He positively blooms, encircling her in his arms and kissing the top of her head.
“I’ve been relegated.” I chuckle to show him I’m not in the least bit jealous of how his relationship with Isla has developed. It’s all I’ve ever wanted for her. A father who gives a shit, who puts her first, who loves her and opens himself up to allow her to love him back.
A man the complete opposite from her biological father.
The trauma we both suffered seems like a lifetime ago. I don’t have much to repay Tobias with, but maybe Isla’s adoration and my affection and everlasting gratitude will be enough.
Tobias’s driver pulls around to the back of the club where the staff entrance is. We get out and Tobias takes my hand. I’m grateful for the contact. My heart is beating hard enough against my ribs to crack one, and if my knees keep knocking like that, I’ll deafen the customers.