40. Chapter 40
Chapter forty
Bexley
I 'm completely in autopilot mode driving away from the clinic. That familiar rage is back, along with several other emotions, all drowning me at once. The moment I compartmentalize one, another slips back out, and it feels like I'm close to losing control.
There's a small fragment of relief that I have answers now, understanding how everything went to shit so quickly. But there's also guilt and hatred at myself for feeling so angry at my dead mother.
What does that say about me as a person? You're supposed to mourn the dead, not be angry at them.
I can't help it though. And without even stopping to ask myself if this is a good idea, I screech to a stop in front of the large house.
Ringing the doorbell, I compose myself, hanging onto that thread of control before the door swings open and I'm greeted by a bright smiling face.
"Bexley! How lovely to see you," Mary gushes, brushing her hand over her apron. It's covered in flour and I can smell the lingering scent of vanilla wafting from inside. "Sophia isn't home yet but Tai is upstairs."
"Thank you," I forcefully smile. "Can I head up to his room?"
She steps aside, opening the door fully for me. "Of course you can. Let me know if you need anything."
I knew she was a beautiful soul before but now knowing that Tai and I share the same feelings of heartbreak, I have a new appreciation for the woman. Soph and Tai are very lucky to have her in their lives. The three of them care about each other a lot and I have to admit, I'm a little envious. But on the same token, I'm so relieved and happy for them.
"Thanks, Mary," I mutter and without realizing I'm doing it, I launch forward and pull her into a hug.
"Ohh." She laughs softly, hugging me back. "I'm probably getting self-rising flour all over you."
"I don't care," I whisper, taking a moment to live vicariously through the Becketts. "It's worth it."
As I pull back, I notice her tinged cheeks, her eyes matching her lips as she beams at me. Giving her a tight smile back, I head up the stairs, straight for Tai's bedroom.
There's music coming from inside, and I hesitate for a second, wondering if I should knock. But I keep with my habit of storming into bedrooms, twisting the handle and inviting myself in.
Tai glances over casually, before doing a double take, eyes widening in surprise. "Bexley."
I close the door, leaning my back against it. "Can we hang for a bit?"
He nods, slipping off his headphones. "You have flour all over your skirt and jersey," he muses.
When I don't move or respond, he frowns, standing from his chair and walking over.
"What happened?"
I shrug. "Remember how you said there was nothing I could have done to change the outcome?"
Tai tilts his head curiously. "Yeah?"
"Well, I turned out to be the exception."
His jaw tightens, as if he's silently reliving his own memories. "Come over here," he says, holding out his hand.
I slip my palm into his, allowing him to pull me toward the bed. Reaching for my waist, he guides me around, sitting me down on the mattress edge.
"The appointment?"
"Hmm."
Dropping to his knees, he cups his hands together, resting them on my leg before putting his chin on his knuckles. "Wanna talk about it?"
"Not really," I murmur.
He nods, standing back up. I watch, expecting him to go to the computer but he walks to the side of the bed, climbing onto the mattress. Wiggling forward, his legs slide past either side of mine. Hands move into my hair, carefully extracting the hair tie and letting my ponytail loose. His fingers comb through my hair, untangling it before separating it into three sections.
"Are you braiding my hair?" I ask with sheer amusement—which is a nice one-eighty change from all the other emotions.
"Yep."
I smile, letting my eyes close as he starts weaving the locks together. There's something so relaxing about having your hair and scalp played with. It's my goddamn weakness and I melt into putty in his hands.
"You do this for Soph, don't you?"
Tai laughs. "Is it that obvious?"
"It's brother-coded for sure."
He wraps the hair tie around the end, securing it. "I taught myself with Youtube tutorials. But I draw the line at makeup application."
"Yeah, I wouldn't trust you with a mascara brush near my eyeballs."
We seem to move at the same time, Tai shifting forward as I lean back. He wraps his arms around me, encasing me in a bear hug.
The two of us stay quiet for a moment, simply enjoying the moment of physical touch, until I ask the question, "Just how close are you to Rylan?"
"He's like a brother to me. But you already know that. So, tell me what's happening in that head of yours?"
As I sink further into him, Tai plops his chin on my shoulder, waiting for my reply.
"Because I think I might kiss you," I answer without hesitation. "And as much as I used to love the idea of bringing you all down, I'm not in the habit of breaking friendships."
He brings his hand up to my face, fingers gently tilting my head in his direction. "We don't have a problem with sharing, Bex," he whispers against my cheek, sending shivers down my body. "Which is why Ry was more than happy to watch you ride my face."
In a perfect world, I'd do my due diligence and hear it from the horse's mouth as well. But right now, I take his word for it, twisting my body and angling my face to find his lips. He kisses me back, and unlike the intensity I have with Rylan, this is slow and all-consuming.
Our lips caress gently, building in pace until I'm flipped onto my back with Tai straddling me. With our new position, we're closer, bodies pressed together as his tongue darts into my mouth seeking mine out.
Like the night in the cage, there's a weird sense of nirvana. Rylan knew what I needed that night and today, Tai senses it too. As usual, that uncomfortable feeling tingles, largely masked by perplexity that someone like him could be the answer and the calm to my storm. But I lean into it, taking what I want and need since he's offering with no questions asked.
His warm hand slides up my waist, bunching my jersey under my chest. Fingers dance along my rib cage, seemingly asking for permission to go higher. And fuck me, there's nothing sexier than consent.
I mimic his movements, grasping his white jersey and tugging it up. Sliding my hand over his toned stomach, I let out a little groan of appreciation. Of course he's ripped too—why wouldn't he be? Devils are meant to be creatures of seduction. If they weren't, how else would we sin?
Muscles tremble under my touch as my fingers trail downwards, stroking the skin above his waistband. It's all the confirmation he needs, hand disappearing under my jersey to cover my tits. He gropes them firmly, massaging me through the lace bra, before tugging on my nipple. My back arches on its own accord and he loops his arm around, lifting me off the bed.
There's a flurry of hands as we both reach for our jerseys, pulling them off and slinging them to the ground somewhere. He kisses my neck while gently grabbing one of my bra straps, taking his sweet time to drag it down my shoulder before doing the same to the other side.
Everywhere he touches burns with need despite his feather-like pressure. Soft lips cover every inch of my neck, occasionally sucking the tender skin.
I wasn't expecting this. In my mind, we were going to fuck hard and fast. But this slow, intimate dance has my thighs clenching together to try to relieve the ache begging to be fixed.
I need him—now.
My hand slides into his shorts, a tiny gasp leaving my mouth when he quickly snaps my wrist up, pinning it above my head instead. He lifts my other arm up, locking both wrists together with one hand, while his other glides over my torso and skirt to my thigh. It disappears under the tartan material, rubbing me through the lace.
"You tasted so good yesterday," Tai murmurs against my lips. "I can't wait to see what you feel like too."
"Then do it," I mumble through the kiss.
He kisses me harder at the same time as his fingers slip underneath, pushing into my body. My hips jolt into his hand as he swallows my moan.
The pace still doesn't change, torturously slow movements that drag pleasure out of me but refuse to push me over the edge. It's driving me insane in the best way possible. We both know that the relief is a disguise for what I really need. There's so much more that I crave, that only someone like Tai can give because we've been through the same thing.
Affection. Touch. Love.
Pulling out of my body, I lift my hips so he can help remove the rest of my clothing before doing the same with his. He covers me with his naked body, pushing my legs apart with his knee.
"Protection?" he asks, trailing kisses over my chest.
"Birth control."
"Good," Tai answers and I feel the head of his cock inch into my entrance slightly. "Because I want to feel you completely." He finishes his sentence with a jolt of his hips, burying himself inside me until our hips clash.
I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling his face closer as our lips move with our bodies. He grinds against me, reentering my warmth with slow precision, making sure to rub his pelvis against my clit.
One leg locks around his back, keeping him in place as we chase physical and emotional freedom. I start to get close, feeling my climax building and my pussy tenses around him. Tai moves out of me, ignoring my moans of protest. Before I can scold him, he rolls off me, laying on his side. Scooping me up in his arms, he drags me back until his chest is flat against my spine.
He lifts my leg, looping it over his muscular thigh, spreading me open. He grabs my tit, using it to hold me against him as he thrusts back into my cunt.
His movements are faster finally, but without the direct contact to my clit, I'm still caught in limbo, hanging on the edge of the cliff. I start to move my hand down my body to relieve myself, but he quickly grabs it, replacing his touch with my own over my chest. He pins my palm to my tit, taking control of my hand to tug on the hardened, pink tip.
"Tai," I breathe out, desperation in my words.
"Soon," he promises, letting go of my hand to tilt my head back.
Hot kisses distract me as he rolls his hips harder, slowly gaining momentum. I'm so lost in the feeling of everything that I can't focus on anything except for him. Our mouths move wildly, urgently seeking each other out while the sound of skin slapping together echoes around the room.
And just when I start to forget about my aching need to come, my mind letting go and being in the moment, his fingers land on my clit, touching me hard and fast. It's the equivalent to a bomb detonating, my climax ripping through me with no notice. A scream tears from my throat, body shuddering as I clench down tight around his cock.
"That's it," he whispers proudly next to my ear. "Scream for me, pretty girl."
Fuck. It doesn't stop coming—quite literally. Tidal waves roll and crash through my body, white spots appearing in my eyes and blinding me as I ride out the high that doesn't seem to end. His fingers keep moving against my clit, dragging it out as he thrusts mercilessly into me.
It feels like I can't breathe. I must be spiraling out of control because all I can focus on is how good it feels to drown and suffocate. It's freeing, the white dissipating into black as I fall into a calm darkness and I realize that my eyes have closed. Behind me, I hear Tai groan loudly, holding the sound in his throat as his movements turn jerky and I feel his hot release spill into me.
We're both breathing heavily, panting as we come back to reality. His arm moves back to my chest, tightening his grip as he holds me against him.
The two of us lay in comfortable silence, a wave of exhaustion washing over me. I know I should move before I fall asleep, but for the life of me, I can't see a reason as to why I should. Tai's steel grip doesn't loosen either, so I just let go, drifting off into a peaceful sleep in his arms.