Chapter 1 #2
"What caused this one?" Jonah arched an eyebrow as he wandered into an office and returned with a chilled water bottle.
I wasn't about to tell him the truth.
"There isn't a trigger," I lied, taking a deep sip of water. "Mostly stress."
The liquid wiped away the tickle of guilt that gripped my throat. Being honest would mean peeling back more of my life than I should.
"I've tried all the tricks to solve the problem. Now I just live with it. If I could get my brain to shut up for five minutes, it might help, but I'm always stressing about the Orazio Foundation."
The Orazio Foundation was Adelaide Orazio's baby, and she hired me as her PR representative.
I helped manage her public image, which was needed as the crime lord of Greenich Bay.
She had no clue I was an agent for a secret organization, deep undercover.
The foundation work was a lot like my tasks for The Unseen, and I found it natural to manage people.
It was easier to get outcomes when you could just ask the person, rather than having to manipulate a result behind their back.
I knew I was in too deep because my friendship with Adelaide was the first real thing I'd felt in years. I would do anything to protect her city and our friendship. It made me that much hungrier to find Ellington.
Speaking of. I need to check in with Beck.
The thought made me stiffen. I hadn't spoken to him in months. Ever since I arrived in Greenich Bay, I struggled to mend our friendship. Sleeping with Beck had been a mistake.
He obviously agreed if the text messages he'd sent were anything to go by. Beck was always cold, but now he was cruel. I got the message. He wasn't interested in me, and I had to learn how to let my crush go. He taught me everything he knew, except how to guard my heart.
"Meditation might help if you want to try. I've been doing it for years." Jonah towered over me, and my knees wobbled at his sheer presence. "How do you feel now? Do you want me to take you home? I could carry you."
Could I walk?
Sure.
But why would I turn down a chance to be pressed against his wide, hard chest? I flashed Jonah a winning smile to ensure he wasn't thinking how strange it was I would come here by myself.
"What a gentleman. My best friend has the best taste in guards."
Jonah's broad back stiffened, and he shot me an unreadable look.
Even my claustrophobic breakdown didn't soften Jonah.
I thought of Adelaide, heartbroken in my apartment.
She'd come to me when she needed a safe place, and her world crumbled around her.
I wish I could claim the title of best friend without feeling ill.
This wasn't the first time I'd done a long stint undercover. I worked in the police force a few years ago, making sure certain evidence disappeared.
Why did this mission leave my stomach twisted? The cameras I planted were a betrayal of trust, but it was for a greater cause. I didn't have a right to feel conflicted. This was my job. But I cared for Adelaide deeply. More than my job, which was my life.
"I've never seen Adelaide so upset," Jonah said.
"Getting your heart broken was hard enough. Having it stomped on three times by your multiple boyfriends? No wonder she was mute."
I used her heartbreak and the distraction of it to plant the cameras in the warehouse.
When I accepted the mission to track down Ellington Vizor, all the evidence pointed to him weaseling into Adelaide's empire.
So I targeted Adelaide's weak spot: friendship. I should hold up a damn mirror, because it turned out to be my weakness too. I'd been lying to myself every day since I arrived in Greenich Bay.
This was the home I craved since my dad left me with a toxic mess of a mom. Now my best friend was catatonic. It was unsettling to see her this way. Adelaide was intelligent and measured. The opposite of Ellington, and I knew he would dismantle this city for his own benefit.
He'd done it once, and he'd do it again.
The Unseen trained Ellington Vizor to be the ultimate weapon, and after he betrayed them, he was tracked here. Adelaide was a damn good leader, an even better friend, and I needed to protect her. The longer I was here, the more uneasy I got. My loyalties became twisted and broken.
The Unseen were the jesters behind the king.
We pulled strings and made changes without being noticed. We controlled the crime lords whose egos took them too far into the public eye, the spotlight of the government.
I made a face. "What do you think she'll do, Jonah?"
When Adelaide turned up on my doorstep, flushed with fury and grief, I'd seen a different side to her.
The weight of Adelaide's heartbreak dragged Jonah's wide shoulders down.
The stoic guard's layers intrigued me. My training caused me to unravel people without meaning to.
But Jonah was a blank slate. It took a lot to get his handsome face to flicker with anything other than determination.
Right now, the hurt his boss felt carved him in two.
"I don't know. But I'm more concerned about you. Let me drive you home?"
I jumped on his offer, eager to leave before he picked at my weak cover-up story.
"If you don't mind."
Jonah nodded and tossed me the keys to his car.
"Let me lock up."
Moments later, Jonah slipped into the driver's seat and ran his thick fingers through his short, blond hair. My stomach flipped. I'd always felt a little skittish around Jonah. He was wary of anyone who got close to Adelaide.
He was right to be suspicious.
I was a danger to her. Or I could be. I preferred to think of myself as her secret asset. My perception shifted with her friendship, like an earthquake. I couldn't get the shards of my life to fit together the way they used to. How could I reconcile the lies I spewed?
I balanced between two great powers, and both could crush me if I wasn't careful.
I forced my breath into my belly before I slipped back into panic. Deep, shuddering breaths. My lungs ached. I didn't need Jonah to notice anything off about me. I'd been so careful. Jonah's heavy sigh drew me from my thoughts.
"Are you still feeling…" He tapped his fingers on the wheel.
"You helped me a lot. Thank you, Jonah." My lies burned in the pit of my stomach.
I tried to fold them as small as I could, like I could make them disappear if I made them slight enough. Jonah fixed me with his intense gray eyes.
"I meant what I said about the lessons."
"Jonah, if you wanted to get me into a quiet, dark room, you just had to say so."
The flow between us was velvet, and I wanted to wrap myself up.
"I'll put some nature sounds on, light some incense. Let you hold one of my crystals. I'm sure the story will amuse Adelaide. She needs it."
Jonah's cheeks colored under his beard, as if he regretted the comment.
"Crystals? Tell me the day, and I'm there. But can we keep this—" I waved my hand in front of my pale face. "Between us? Adelaide doesn't need anything else to worry about."
She would know immediately the story I used was a lie. His mask slipped as the silver luster of Jonah's eyes turned to iron. The one he always, always wore. The secret edges of him made my fingers itch.
I wanted to peel open the hidden layers and see what he was hiding.
"Your secrets are safe with me, Lara. I had a stutter growing up and never used to talk much because of it.
A teacher taught me breathing exercises, and I started doing them every day.
Whenever I felt like I was losing control of my voice, he told me to fill my lungs until I could say it without tripping.
I don't know how or why, but it worked. Somehow crystals got involved. Keep that to yourself, though."
I kept waiting for him to notice the tension in my body. The sweat on my upper lip. The signs of nervousness I couldn't hide quick enough.
"Maybe I need to go to Bali for a yoga sabbatical."
"We couldn't cope if you left, Lara."
We? We? That made my stomach tremble.
"But who doesn't want to go on a tropical holiday?"