Chapter 19 #3
"I would do anything in the world for you.
I stayed away to spare you the danger of my love.
But you pushed and pushed, you begged. What you're asking for is almost impossible.
It could take years. Ellington is smart, and he's gone to ground.
He knows we're hunting him, and he's content to bide his time.
Are you prepared to give up years of your life? "
His hands were a formfitting collar, but he didn't steal my breath. I reached between us, gripped his hard cock and brought it to my entrance.
"Yes, and I want you by my side. Whatever happens, can you handle that?" I was asking him to make space for others too, and for a long moment, I thought he would say no.
My thighs burned as I hovered, and my heart crashed against my ribs.
"I'm your monster, Little Liar."
"Beck. I'm doing this whether you help me or not. But I want you beside me."
Beck adjusted his thumbs so his nails cut a cruel line in my neck. A bite of pain. I lied to everyone else, but not him, never him.
"What about when they discover your lies and don't forgive you?" Beck stroked the tight tendon in my neck, leaning close to press his forehead against mine. His eyes were black coal, thick curtains of eyelashes.
He voiced my fear.
Ray and Jonah wouldn't understand.
I'd lied for so long. It was second nature, and I had no idea how they would react.
"They will. I'll make them understand. I'm working to save this city, Adelaide, all of them."
What we had would endure. I wasn't alone in knowing each of them fit a sacred part of my soul. That's how badly I wanted this.
"Why bother with them? Let's take our chances on our own. They'll never understand you like I do."
Possessiveness branded his soft words. He thrust his hips up, and I sank onto his steel length. I gulped against the tight pressure of his hands. My walls clenched, excited and desperate despite the commanding hold.
Beck knew Lyra. Beck knew a girl who'd gone through death, darkness, and terror.
But he couldn't give me the feeling of wind whipping through my hair, in a convertible with the top down on a midnight road.
When the lights became trails of glitter and laughter threaded through the roar of the engine.
Only Ray unlocked that part of me. The part that craved adventure, speed, and burning rubber.
He couldn't give me the peaceful silence of breathing together, shifting around each other like meandering rivers. The companionship in quiet, and how we met in the space of it. The press of heat and protection at my back, like Jonah could.
"I need them as much as I need you."
It was strange to fight for two other men while another was inside me, but I'd never done things the way they were supposed to be done. I rocked my hips, and each drag of my clit on Beck's body bloomed into black stars across my gaze. Maybe that was the lack of oxygen.
"You need me?" Beck ground his forehead against mine.
The hurt I'd given him when I ignored him had grown roots, and I saw how deep they'd tangled inside him.
"You know how much you mean to me."
He said nothing. I felt a sharp stab of realization. He didn't know at all. His fingers trembled around my neck, and I wondered if he wanted to throttle or kiss me.
Sometimes I didn't know with Beck.
"Beck. You will always be my first love." My throat tightened.
"How do I know if anything you say is real, Little Liar? You slipped away from me, and there wasn't a goddamn thing I could do to stop it." He bared his teeth and thrust upward.
"I love you, Beck. And I need you now more than ever." I ground my forehead against his, knowing it was madness to ask, but equally impossible not to.
His grip strangled before dragging down my body. He gripped my hips with the same bruising ownership and rocked me harder against his cock.
"I love you, too." His voice was rough, the years of restraint fraying in the short words.
Our breaths mingled as our bodies burned together. I rolled my hips, and my breasts bounced in frantic movement. Beck leaned down to take a hard nipple in his mouth, and I cradled the back of his head.
"Trust me." I gasped at the ceiling.
"I hope you know what you're doing." Beck growled, and he flipped me back onto the couch.
It was cramped and lumpy, and perfect as Beck pounded me into it. His artwork turned blurry as he hiked my hips up and thrust deep. Like he wanted to make a tattoo inside my body, one that wouldn't wash off.
"Beck—fuck—" I gasped as his teeth found the soft flesh of my breast.
"I want you to feel me when you look at them. To know I've had you the longest, the deepest and hardest. You're mine, Lara."
His hand slipped between us, and he rubbed my clit as he fucked me. His cock claimed my pussy, and it capitulated, like he owned it. Responding with desperate flutters to his rough treatment.
"Say it," Beck hissed in my ear.
My monster. Mine.
"I belong to you," I moaned and scrunched my eyes closed as Beck inched me closer to another orgasm.
Beck replied with a low groan of his own. His hips slammed into me, and it sent me over the edge of release. Pleasure flooded inside me as Beck came. He collapsed on top of me with a sigh.
"I belong to you too, you know," Beck muttered into my breasts.
I knew it, and it was a heady feeling to be loved by so dark a monster.