Chapter 19 #2
I'd never seen Beck so undone before. The realization of my desires made his chest deflate and coil like a viper waiting to strike. He waited, eyes like slits. For weakness? A crack he could slip in and manipulate? It wouldn't work, and I know he felt the stone around my heart.
"Lara, this can't work." He tried again, but I wasn't looking at him anymore.
Ray stroked the inside of his thighs and raised an eyebrow. Jonah cataloged us both with an intensity that I should have been wary of, but I wasn't. There was heat in his gaze, and I knew what that led to.
"We'll make it."
I made to move. The rigidity of Beck's body made me uncomfortable.
I didn't know what Beck was going to do now that he understood what was happening.
He wouldn't convince me to forget the life I'd built here.
Even if the foundations were lies. They didn't know that, and I'd make sure they never did.
But Beck didn't like to lose, and I felt the change immediately.
Sit on my lap. Ray signed, grinning as Beck growled.
"Am I the only one who can't sign?" Jonah complained.
Beck ignored him, giving me a sly smile. I didn't like the expression; it was far too devious.
"There should be rules if we want this. It's only fair if we make it even. Right?" Beck's hand crept under the oversized shirt and skimmed the top of my tight shorts. The skin on my stomach rippled. I widened my eyes at Beck as he slipped his fingers underneath. He arched his thick eyebrows.
"Well, Lara?" His teeth were sharp. "What do you say?"
Jonah and Ray watched with a mix of incredulity and interest. Being shared between them in the club scratched something in my brain I never knew I needed. I widened my legs. Beck's grin turned into a satisfied hum as his fingers breached the elastic of my panties.
"I vote yes," Ray said, breathless.
Jonah pursed his lips, unable to look away as Beck's fingers slipped lower.
"What does that mean specifically?" Jonah asked.
Clever Jonah wasn't swayed by Beck's hypnotic, warm eyes or questing touch, not like me.
"They touched you at Den. I want to do the same right now."
I gasped, breathless, as Beck's touch grazed my clit. He nipped my earlobe. Heat coursed through our melded bodies.
"Right now?" I whispered.
Jonah looked between us with a choking noise. Beck's fingers slowly circled my clit, sending a spark of warmth down my spine. I slouched, giving him access to tease me. He watched my expression, ignoring the other two. I wondered whether he even noticed them or if I was his only concern.
"This shouldn't be so hot, but damn." Ray unbuttoned his pants and slipped his hand inside to cup his cock.
Beck yanked my chin to force my eyes back to him. His lips crashed down on mine, and there was only his tongue, his fingers. It tasted of spice and curry. Danger and desire. Beck was a knife-edge, capable of violence and pleasure. He could give me both in the space of a second.
"Eyes on me," he growled as he pulled away.
Jonah let out a soft, shuddering exhale, and squeezed and palmed the lump in his pants.
"You're going to have to learn how to share, Chief. That's kinda how this works." Ray's hand moved furtively.
"No, I don't. I'm letting you watch me make Lara come on my fingers, and that's as generous as I'll get." He leaned close to whisper. "My Little Liar. I've replayed the moment we fucked a million times. But I need a fresh memory."
His gaze sparked fire down my spine, and I sank into the dominance. Pinned under the talented swirl of his fingers. I was wet, and the room was quiet enough for them to hear it.
I had nowhere to hide at that moment. Beck knew, and he played with my body like he had memorized it years ago. He touched me as if he had craved me for years. His fingers made my clit throb and dragged throaty moans through my open lips.
I had never felt so open. So vulnerable.
"Please," I whispered, and rocked my hips to meet his touch.
Beck buried his head in my neck, and I closed my eyes, wanting to give him what he asked. We were alone in this, despite our audience. It felt healing. A bridge between the moment I gave up on him and came to Greenich Bay. Beck bit my neck until I cried out.
"How can I resist when you beg so fucking pretty?" he moaned.
"Lara. Fuck," Jonah groaned.
Beck gripped my chin in his hands, as if he thought I might break his stare. How could I? He saw into my soul. He always had. All the ugly, precious, tortured parts of me flayed open. He made them shine with his desperate fingers. His grip on my chin pinched. I let it. I owed him this.
I'm sorry, I mouthed, and my eyes filled with tears. This was penance for denying us this feeling, for the time apart. For making him complicit in my deceit. Beck's touch turned feverish, punishing. He shoved me toward the cliff of ecstasy before I was ready for it to end.
"Beck," I moaned as I crashed.
He shook my chin when my eyes shuttered.
"Give me your eyes. Give me everything."
My legs parted, back arched. My clit throbbed as pleasure stole every sense.
For a moment, I was suspended. Until my senses returned when a jaunty alarm cut through the thick tension.
Beck removed his fingers and stuck them in his mouth.
I panted, boneless, as Ray grimaced at his phone.
His pants were a mess, where he'd unbuttoned and touched himself.
Jonah, pink-cheeked, looked away as he pulled a cushion over his groin.
"I want to kiss you again soon." I told him, if only to see him blush again.
"Rain check on that delightful suggestion. Adelaide needs us at the gym. I forgot I was helping her with some Fostering Futures thing," he informed Jonah, stuffing his phone in his pocket. "You're meant to be there too, you know."
Jonah rolled off the couch and fumbled with his pants, eyes wide with alarm.
He'd forgotten everything except the sight of me, which felt so damn good.
He stretched, black shirt riding up to offer a sliver of compact muscle.
I'd much rather take them to the bedroom than tell them why I couldn't be theirs.
Ray rounded the coffee table and bracketed me before I could say anything.
"I hope you know that sexy little vision only encouraged me. I won't stop until I have you, Lara." His hot breath tickled my ear, and I swallowed a noise.
"Talk soon." I didn't give him the answer he wanted, and his charming smile morphed into a soft, reproachful glare.
But it melted as he pressed his lips against mine, hard.
Beck rumbled with quiet displeasure, but he let the kiss happen.
Ray made my stomach swoop like a roller coaster.
I would have fallen head over heels, never to recover, if I'd met him any earlier in life.
My shield against him frayed as it was. Jonah rocked on his heels, as if debating whether to kiss me as well.
He ducked his head, nostrils flaring, before berating Ray.
"Let's go. I'm driving this time. You're a maniac behind the wheel."
"Bye Jonah," I said as he started toward the door, and his stomping footsteps faltered.
Ray's boisterous laugh blocked his muttered goodbye as he chased the mountain of a man. Jonah was huge but somehow more inconspicuous than anyone I had met.
"Little Liar," Beck's scold stung too much, and I winced.
"I need time," I begged.
I took the armchair Ray vacated as echoes of pleasure thrummed through my body. I was prepared to argue, and he could see it in the way I held my body. Always ready for more. The orgasm melted soft warmth through my body, and I was too tired to fight.
"For what? Drawing this out will only prolong the heartbreak. You don't even know the level of danger you're putting them in by hiding the real reason you're here. Making connections like this is just giving Ellington more weapons to use against you."
I made a harsh noise, unable to get the words I wanted out.
"I'm not leaving. Not until I protect Adelaide."
"And when you're finished? You'll just admit a secret organization sent you? Those men won't forgive you, and if she's as good a leader as you think, Adelaide won't either."
"Please." The word hung like a white flag. One I'd never truly given to Beck.
He'd known me since adulthood still clung in round cheeks, and I'd given him trust, loyalty, and years together. He knew I meant it when I asked him.
"Please, what?" His dark eyes were like tunnels, and I let him see how much this meant to me.
I finally had something real to live for. Greenich Bay and Adelaide brought me to life, and Ray and Jonah helped me learn to love again. Love? That sent a sobering shiver down my spine.
"Help me make this work." It was a foolish comment.
Beck did the unthinkable. He whipped off his shirt and pushed down his pants until he was naked on the couch.
"Strip."
"Beck…I—"
"Strip. Now."
I pulled the clothes off and took a shaky step toward Beck. He dragged me onto his lap to straddle him. Fake tattoos covered his muscular body. Some symbols were familiar, and others were new. Whatever his passing fancy was that month.
The only one that ever stayed the same was the jester. I widened my legs, hot and wet at the apex of my shivering body.
He grabbed my hand and pressed it to his shoulder, where there was a tattoo I'd seen before, an instrument like a harp.
"Do you know what this is?"
I shook my head.
"It's a lyre. It brings life to silence and light to darkness. It's you. Ask me how long I've had you on my body."
Beck's hands laced around my gulping throat, and he pressed his thumbs lightly on my thunderous pulse.
"Beck," I whispered.