CHAPTER TWELVE | London
CHAPTER TWELVE
London
“Stupid, freaking jerk.” I swipe at the angry tears that streak down my face. Tears that I somehow, by the grace of God, was able to hold in until I was outside.
I can’t believe Penn.
I can’t believe the things he said.
The way he looked at me.
The way he spoke to me.
It was like I was standing in that room with a complete stranger.
I knew the donuts were probably a bad idea, but I wanted to do something nice for the guys and I certainly couldn’t afford to pay for them, and I honestly didn’t think Penn would care that much...
Then again, that may not be entirely true. I think a part of me knew it would irritate him and that gave me even more reason to do so.
Though what just happened in there... That had nothing to do with donuts. I’ve seen his books and while he’s not a millionaire by any means, he’s got more than enough to spare a couple hundred on a nice treat for his employees. The donuts just gave him an excuse... I gave him an excuse.
I don’t have time to consider what I just did. I’ll have plenty of time to worry about that decision later. Right now, all I want to do is get as far away from this freaking place as fast as I can and never, ever come back.
I’m not sure what hurts worse, the fact that Penn could hate me so much that he would treat me with such unprofessionalism. Or the fact that even as he was berating me, all I could think about was how badly I wish I could go back and do it all differently so that I could have my Penn back.
If one thing has been made crystal clear to me, it’s that my Penn is gone and if the way he just spoke to me is any indication, I don’t think he’s ever coming back.
“London!” I vaguely hear my name, but I don’t turn to find out where it’s coming from. “Hey! Wait up.” Travis appears next to me, seemingly out of nowhere. “Where are you heading in such a hurry?”
“Away from here.” I swipe at another tear.
“Hey, whoa, whoa. What happened?” He steps in front of me, halting my steps, dipping to get a good look at my face. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I just need to get out of here.”
“Is it Penn? What did he do?”
“Let’s just say the donuts were not a good idea. He wasn’t appreciative in the least. In fact, it only pissed him off more. I can’t do this anymore, Trav.”
“Hey, it’s okay.” He tugs me into his arms, and while he’s dressed in dirty coveralls and smells like fish, I let him.
Burying my face into his chest, I let out a gurgled sob, too upset to be any kind of embarrassed over my inability to hold in my emotions.
“You want me to go in there and kick his ass?”
“No.” I sniff, pulling away after a long moment.
“You sure?”
“I’m sure.” I shake my head gently. “Only one of us needs to get fired today.”
“He fired you?” He runs a hand through his dirty-blond locks.
“Well, technically, I quit. And then he fired me.” I let out a humorless laugh.
“Curious how he’s going to explain that to your father.”
“Oh, I’m sure he’ll make it all my fault.” I swipe at my damp tears. “And maybe it is.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t let him win.”
“Look around, Trav, he already has.” I wave my arms, gesturing around us.
“I’ve worked with Penn for a long time, and I’ve never known him to act so irrationally.”
“Good to know that I can bring out the worst in him.”
“I’m just saying, a man doesn’t typically get that worked up by a woman unless he has feelings for her.”
“Trust me, the only feeling that man has toward me is hatred.”
“Or maybe that’s just what he wants you to think.”
“I don’t think it matters much at this point.” I blow out a hard breath.
“Want to test that theory?”
“Huh?” My forehead furrows in confusion.
Before I have time to react, Trav takes my face in his hands and, without warning, presses his lips to mine. My first reaction is to push him away, not because I’m offended that he’s kissing me, per se, but because I’m surprised that he is. I mean, I barely know the guy.
The kiss ends almost as abruptly as it began.
“What the...” I start to say, but Trav interrupts me before I can finish.
“Smile.”
“What?”
“We have an audience. Act like me kissing you was exactly what you wanted.”
I plaster on a smile, having to resist the urge to look for said audience, which I know without asking is Penn.
“For the record, I never said I didn’t want you to kiss me.” I feel the need to say, though whether it’s true, or I just want to spare his feelings, I can’t say I’m entirely sure at the moment. In truth, I feel quite rattled by it.
Has it been so long since a man kissed me that I don’t even know how to feel about being kissed?
I rack my brain... Seriously, though, when was the last time I was kissed?
It had to have been Devon. But dang, that was a long time ago. I met him at the dance studio his mom owned a few weeks before the accident. He was always hanging around. He was cute, sweet, and while I enjoyed the time I spent with him, we were never going to be anything real.
Not like Penn and I were...
I shake off the thought, refocusing on Trav, who gives me a crooked smile as he takes both of my hands in his.
“Are you saying you want me to kiss you again, Miss Voss?”
“If we’re going to put on a show, might as well make it a good one.” I surprise myself by saying.
I try to convince myself it’s because I want him to kiss me again, but deep down, I know my motivation... To give Penn Kade a dose of his own medicine. See how he likes it. Though I still have my doubts that he’ll care at all.
“In that case.” Trav releases my hands before taking my face once more, kissing me more slowly this time, his lips lingering on mine.
I wish I could say I felt something. A spark of excitement. Desire. Anything. But alas, the only thing I can feel is Penn’s eyes on us even though I haven’t looked in his direction once. I know he’s watching. I can literally feel it. Like a hot branding iron on my skin, his gaze scorches me.
“Travis.” Penn’s voice is razor sharp, breaking the kiss before it has a chance to escalate further. “If you value your job at all, you’ll get your ass back to your boat.”
Trav winks at me, mouthing “told you” before turning toward Penn.
“Headed that way now, boss man.”
“Tell Lou I need to see him before he leaves today.” Penn doesn’t look at me.
“You got it.” Trav nods, glancing back at me. “I’ll call you later, yeah?”
“Yeah.” I nod, fully aware that this is for show and he most definitely will not call me later. Or at least, I don’t think he will. Who knows, maybe he actually really did want to kiss me, and he used Penn as his excuse.
This only serves to confuse me more than I already am because I can’t decide if I liked the kiss or if I just liked the purpose it served. And that purpose becomes abundantly clear when I look up and see Penn glaring at me like he’s not sure if he wants to kill me or kiss me himself.
Kiss me, my brain screams.
Tension, thick and heavy, settles over us as Trav skips away, clearly very pleased with himself.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Penn asks as soon as Trav is out of earshot.
“I’m sorry?” I act like I have no idea what he’s talking about.
“What. Are. You. Doing?” he repeats slowly like I’m stupid and can’t understand plain English.
“I don’t think that’s any of your business.” I sneer, reclaiming my earlier anger.
“He’s not a good guy, London.” His voice dips low.
“According to whom? You?”
“According to every female who’s been foolish enough to crawl into bed with him. He plays na?ve women like you for sport.”
“I am not na?ve. Nor am I stupid.”
“Your actions say otherwise.”
“Yeah, well, your actions say you hate me, so I’m not sure why you care.”
“I don’t.”
“Clearly.” I roll my eyes, turning to leave.
“Why did you come back?” His question has me hesitating before looking back at him.
“Why ask when you seem to have it all figured out already?”
“If I’m wrong, then tell me why.”
“I got hurt,” I say bitterly.
“How hurt?”
“Hurt enough that the doctors said I’d never dance professionally again.”
“What happened?”
“Why do you care?”
“Just answer the question.” He runs his hand through his hair, drawing my attention to the LV still tattooed on his wrist.
I remember the day he got it like it was yesterday. I wasn’t sure if I was angry or flattered that he permanently inked my initials on his skin. Even now, seeing it, the reminder of what we once were to each other, I feel as conflicted as I did that day, only for completely different reasons.
“It doesn’t matter what happened. All that matters is that I’ll never dance again. I’m sure that makes you very happy.”
“Why would that make me happy?”
“Are you seriously asking me that question after the way you just behaved in there?”
“Fair. I...” He looks down at his feet for a long moment. “I’m sorry about that. You’re right. I was being completely unprofessional.”
My lips part in surprise, but inside, it feels like my jaw is on the floor.
“You’re not fired.” He meets my eyes again, his expression softer than I’ve seen since I’ve been back.
“What if I still quit?” I cling to my anger like a crutch, knowing that without it, I’d be a heap on the ground.
“You don’t.” He shakes his head. “You need this job; otherwise, you wouldn’t be here.”
“I don’t need this job badly enough to deal with the way you treat me.”
“It won’t happen again.”
“I doubt that.” I cross my arms in front of myself.
“Look, this isn’t easy for me. Being here. Seeing you every day. But that’s no excuse for the way I just spoke to you.”
“You think it’s easy for me? Having to come here every day knowing my face is the last one you want to see?”
“If that were true, we wouldn’t be standing here having this conversation.”
I open my mouth but then snap it closed, having no idea what to say to that.
“Take the rest of the day off. Come back tomorrow. I promise what happened today won’t happen again. You have my word.”
“You must really hate bookkeeping,” I blurt.
We stare at each other for a long moment.