The Dominator : a dark mafia romance

Chapter 9 .3

I woke up hearing music playing. Tommy was sitting at the back of the loft, denim-clad legs dangling out the opened doors, a guitar in his arms. The sun was setting over the pond and the sky was a brilliant orange. The view was dazzling. Seeing his strong naked back and hearing the strumming made for an even more beautiful view.

I got up and took my t-shirt off, dropping it with my skirt that was on the floor beside my flip flops, which he must have gone and fetched for me. I put his discarded dove gray dress shirt on, did up the buttons, then padded to him. I sat on the floor behind him, putting my legs on either side of his hips so that my calves were over the edge, and I rested my cheek on his bare back. He continued to play and I recognized the tune. Wild Horses by the Rolling Stones.

He played beautifully, soulfully. The sky, the sounds, the smell of the warm air, the smell of him, feeling his warm and smooth skin under my cheek, I was inexplicably glad that I was here with him. I actually felt free for a moment.

When he finished playing it, I recognized the next song as Iris, from the Goo Goo Dolls. It was one of my favorites.

I knew it’d been brewing since before Mexico, but today sealed it for me. I wanted her to want to be mine so bad I was willing to do just about anything to get her there. I wanted to take all the things that were fucked up in her life and erase them. I wanted to reboot our relationship.

I wanted to make the sun set and rise for her. I wanted to protect her. I wanted her to love me. I’d never felt this way before. It created fear and a fierce protective instinct in me that I’d never before experienced, but right now her body against me, watching the setting sun and inhaling the summer night air we were breathing…this was it. This was all I needed.

She’d come to me on her own and put her arms around me again, just like she’d done in the shower the other night. This was what I wanted. This. Not more money, not more power, just this. It was like I’d been missing something in my life that I didn’t know I was missing until her.

I wanted to dole out fear, pain, and punishment all the time. All the fucking time. But today she wanted pain from me. It was beautiful to me to see that, but it meant I didn’t want to give it to her. I made her want something from me, something only I could give her. She didn’t even name what she wanted from me, and I didn’t want to give it a name, either. I just knew it was so satisfying, even more than I’d expected.

I wanted this time away to be different, but I knew soon we’d go back to exploring her willingness to travel down darker corridors with me. Right now, I just wanted her to relax and forget everything she’d been upset about. I wanted her to feel safe, not trapped, to enjoy being with me.

I put my guitar down and looked ahead. She was still behind me, her legs on either side of mine, and her cheek on my back. A breeze picked up a little and her silky hair blew up around my face. I inhaled and caught the scent of oats and vanilla. Cookies. Her arms came around my waist and she flattened her palms against me, the right one across my abdomen, and the left across my chest. I looked down and saw her engagement ring on her finger and something welled up inside me. I held my breath to hold back the overwhelming emotion surging through me.

We sat and watched the sun go down the rest of the way in silence. It was like the whole world was silent for a moment.

Finally, it was dark. I twisted my body around. She let go of me and backed up. I think she thought I meant to get up but instead I climbed on top of her on the floor. I gave her a long, sensual, deep kiss, running my fingers through her hair, cupping her chin. I wanted to devour her. I held that desire back.

After he kissed me, hovering over me on the floor, he got to his feet and helped me up. Then he pulled a screen roller blind down over the opened barn door area and fastened it to the floor with snaps. The little table with two chairs was not far from the back doors and on top of it sat the cooler and picnic basket. He lifted the basket down to the floor and opened the cooler and took out a few plastic lidded food containers and then a bottle of wine and motioned to the basket with his chin, giving me a little smile. He was smiling more often since we’d arrived here. That smile was so beautiful it made me feel almost giddy inside.

I found a square blue and white checked tablecloth in there so shook it out and let it fall over little round table. I pulled two wine glasses from the leather straps holding them to the lid and set them on the table and then set out the two plates and two sets of cutlery as well as cloth napkins that matched the tablecloth.

Tommy reached in, pulled out a candle stick and candle holder, then fetched a barbecue lighter from a tall and weathered-looking armoire against the wall. I watched him light the candle and as he poured wine while I layered cold breaded chicken, garden and potato salads from their containers onto the plates. There was also a lidded container full of fruit salad and a mason jar filled with a fragrant balsamic salad dressing.

Tommy put his phone on the table and Holding Back the Years by Simply Red played. We sat at the table, and he lifted his wineglass up. I lifted mine.

“To beautiful sunsets,” he said.

“To beautiful sunsets,” I parroted.

“And winning at hide and seek or tag or whatever that was,” he added, watching me closely.

“Congratulations, champ, but I’d say there were no losers in that game.” I dipped my glass in his direction and then took a sip.

He winked at me and had the biggest smile on his face. We dug in to the delicious food.

After a few minutes of serious chowing down of Nita’s gorgeous food, I came up for air.

“So, no one knows about this place?”

He nodded, swallowed a mouthful of wine, and said, “Nope. Every guy needs a retreat. Every guy in my line of work needs a safe house. So, this is both for me.”

“But you brought me here,” I said. “Isn’t that against man cave rules?”

“Rules schmules.” He reached across the table and took my hand. “We needed to get away. I think maybe we should stay tomorrow night, too. Totally detox. But I’ll have to call in tomorrow and see what’s up before I’ll know if I can do an extra day. Would you wanna do that?”

“Sure,” I answered.

“Cool. We’ll stop by and see the Crenshaws tomorrow. Then if everything’s kosher, we’ll come back. If not, we’ll go back to the house.”

“Okay.”

After a few minutes of silence where I felt an odd and intense vibe coming from him, I piped up again, wanting things light and airy. “How long have you had this place and your house?”

He swallowed, wiped his mouth with a napkin, took a sip of wine, then answered. “Pop bought me the house a few months back. I’ve had this place a year and a half. Before the house, I lived in a condo down near our office. I started renting that out to my brother when Pop bought me the house.”

“He bought you a house?”

“For my 29th birthday, yep. Should’ve known that was the prelude to getting married.”

I frowned at him. “You don’t have to get married if you don’t want to.”

“I want to,” he said and reached for my hand.

Awkwardness crackled in the air.

“Do you like the house?” he asked after the awkward moment didn’t pass.

“It’s a bit sterile. But it has potential. It’s the exact sort of house my mother would’ve picked from the outside.”

“Feel free to inject some personality,” he said.

I raised my brows at him.

“I’m serious. After the wedding or now, whatever. A few projects to keep you busy, right? And if you don’t love it, we’ll buy something else.”

I must have made a face of distaste because he looked a little like he’d deflated.

“Listen,” he said, “I know things are different from what you planned but instead of mourning those plans, why not get excited about possibilities?”

“I wanted to get my degree. I…”

“Get it. Do online school.”

Not exactly the same as the college experience.

“Then I wanted to work in social work.”

“You won’t need to work. We have money.”

“We?”

“You and me,” he answered.

We?

“I wanted to,” I said softly.

“Nothing’s really off the table, babe. Once things are settled you can take on charity projects. Start your own charity. Hell, I don’t know, start your own business. As soon as things are settled and safe we can talk about what you want. Nothing is off the table right now, just be open to this, to us. Please?”

Asking please touched something in me. I stared at the flickering candlelight for a few minutes. Then he squeezed my hand and got up from the table, taking me with him. He leaned over and fiddled with his phone, pulled me to him, music started, and he twirled me a little, then started to slow dance, pulling me against his chest and kissing me. I felt shivers climb up my spine. Just a bar in… the song registered in my brain.

At Lastby Etta James. I felt my knees almost buckle because… wow. Wow.

I knew, back to when I was a little girl, that if I ever found my dream man, if I ever got married, this song would be it. The song. This song would be the wedding song, the first song I’d have my very first dance with my new husband to. I’d never told anyone that. Nobody.

He tucked my head under his chin and he moved us around so gracefully that it was almost as if I could dance, too. It was as if we’d practiced. Tears stung, unshed, in my eyes and emotion tried to claw its way up my throat. I fought to hold it together.

I’d thought, when I saw him that first time at the ice cream parlor, that he had the looks and the swagger of my absolute dream man, but I thought he was totally unattainable. Older than me, more sophisticated, above my station. Then I met him the day I graduated and thought he was my worst nightmare. Now where was I?

I didn’t know. I’d hated him, I’d surrendered to him sexually, I’d tried to escape him, then it all went horribly wrong when I was kidnapped and then he’d rescued me from a fate worse than him and I’d clung to him like he was my hero. I’d warmed up to him a bit. Maybe more than a bit.

Tommy Ferrano was the man of my dreams, but he was also the man of my nightmares.

What if I hadn’t been taken that day; what would he have done once he got me back in the house? What sort of punishment would I have faced for taking off from his sister? Did my kidnapping change him? Was he capable of change? Was he capable of being loving and giving and sweet all the time or was I only getting a temporary reprieve from the angry, punishing control freak who wanted to play scary sex games and mind fuck games?

Just how dark and evil was he? How many people had he killed? What kind of illegal stuff did his family participate in? Was he involved in profiting from the sex slave rings he’d threatened me with?

This morning when we were shot at and when he turtled over me… it did something to me. It did something I couldn’t quite name. Like the night he rescued me in Mexico, he’d sliced me open and then when he climbed onto me this morning to protect me, that open wound still there, he climbed right inside of it, of me. But because of the way he’d seesaw between dark and light I felt like I was always on eggshells.

The light was nice; it almost verged on puppies and rainbows in my heart sometimes. The dark was scary. But, then the dark could also be exciting. I’d even invited it, with volunteering to play sex games, with provoking him. What was my problem? Was I just a stupid little girl playing games out of my depth? Yes, way out of my depth. Way.

He sang into my ear the very last line of the song.

“For you are mine, at last.” He looked into my eyes in the silent loft. The only light was the little glimmer of candlelight from the table and the stars outside the opened doors, or no… wait, those were fireflies twinkling out there. Fireflies. Oh, man! How could I keep my guard up at this rate?

It was a magical moment, dancing in candlelight and firefly light, wearing only his shirt, him half naked and gorgeous, up where there was no one but us, in his special place that he’d only ever shared with me. And he was full of light right now, not darkness. For someone who didn’t do relationships, he sure knew how to set a romantic scene. The music stopped and we were still dancing, dancing to the sound of nature outside.

If it could often be just like this, would it be enough for me? Would I be able to live under his regime, under his rules, in a world of crime and danger? Did I have a choice in the matter? How dangerous was his life? What sorts of illegal things did he do? I still didn’t even really know.

So many questions.

He was still looking into my eyes; I was looking into his. It was like we were both stripped bare. He lifted my hand and kissed my knuckle just above where the engagement ring sat. Then he looked at the ring for a beat and dropped to one knee, making my heart skip a beat.

“Tia, I want you. I want you to be mine forever. Not because you clear a debt, not because I have to get married to take over for my father. I want to marry you because…” He stopped and looked away for a second. Then he looked up at me again and took a slow breath and said, “I’m about to say something to you that I’ve never said to another woman, so know that when you hear this.”

I gave him a little, almost imperceptible nod, suspecting I knew what was about to come out of his mouth but not sure that it was at all possible he was about to say what I suspected was about to come out of his mouth. But then he said it.

“I’m in love with you.”

I think my mouth dropped open.

His eyes took on fierceness. “Right here, right now, decide to give me a chance. Forget, for a second, everything on the bad side of the scales you’ve been weighing out and think only about the possibilities. Will you wear this ring voluntarily? Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” I said without even pausing first.

This beautiful, powerful, rich man who could have almost any girl in the world wanted me.

Me. The foster kid with the fucked-up life, the lowlife father, no money, nothing all that special about me. He wanted me. How could I say no? I didn’t even factor in the consequences of saying no because right then, I wanted him, too.

I wanted this beautiful moment to be real. I wanted my life to be a life, not a life sentence. I wanted this man who would not hesitate to be a human shield to keep me safe from gunfire. I wanted this big, strong, beautiful man who would fight scary dudes with big guns because they tried to hurt me. I wanted to feel the safety of his arms, the insane pleasure his body was capable of giving me. I wanted to dance in the moonlight with fireflies; I wanted him to be mine.

I fell down into his arms and wrapped my limbs around him. He pulled me close to him, so close it felt like he was trying to absorb me.

His hands went under the shirt and gripped my bare back as he buried his head into my chest and just held me and let me hold him for what felt like a really long time. I rested my cheek on the top of his head and melted into him. After a while just staying like that, he lifted me up as he stood, like I weighed nothing, and I was about to wrap my legs tighter around his waist but he hoisted me over his shoulder, making me squeal in surprise. He tossed me onto the bed and then playfully pounced on me.

Then, he made love to me, tenderly, sweetly, his eyes liquid with unshed tears. When Tommy brought me to climax, I held onto him for dear life, wanting to freeze the beauty of that moment in time. I cried afterwards, a different kind of crying. A big cathartic release and he held me tight, caressing me. We were both shaking. It felt so real and so, so right.

Flickering light danced through the dim loft amid the sounds of crickets and frogs. And wow, the way he looked at me? He looked at me and touched me like I was the most precious thing to him. It was beautiful. I fell asleep wrapped around him, ready for possibilities, because feeling like this felt like a priceless gift.

* * *

I woke up alone. I sat up and looked around.

Birds chirped and there were other noises coming in via the still-opened doors. The sky seemed alive with noisy birds, butterflies, and the sun was beating through the screen with intensity. The bathroom door was closed. I knocked and there was no answer so I opened it, finding it empty, but with a steamed up mirror, meaning he’d very recently showered. I got out of his shirt and got into the shower, washing and shampooing with his all-in-one hair and body wash. I used his damp towel as it was all there was, then I put yesterday’s clothes back on, minus the underwear, which had a large rip straight up the back of them, rendering them an ass-less piece of scrap material.

I dashed down to get my pajama bag out of the Jeep from yesterday, figuring I could hand-wash my sleeping shorts and let them dry so I could use them as undies for now, but when I got down the stairs and out into the middle of the barn, no Jeep. The door was closed, but I wasn’t locked in. I frowned, but then remembered that the iPhone was in my jean skirt pocket.

I lifted it out and saw it was 9:25 am. I swiped over to contacts and there were just Tommy and his brother listed there. I dialed Tommy and it rang once but then went to voicemail, so I went back upstairs and sat down on the sofa, which was facing the doors, and watched out the back. The phone only had 19% power remaining and I didn’t have a charger, so it wouldn’t last for long.

I needed caffeine. And underwear! There was a fridge here and a sink and microwave but no stove, no coffee maker. No coffee supplies. I looked in the armoire and fridge. The fridge had the remnants of last night’s dinner, our untouched fruit salad, and some bottles of beer, bottles of water, a sports drink, and a vitamin water. The cupboard had some odds and ends, mostly. Some tools, a flashlight, lantern, lamp oil, bug repellant, guitar strings and picks, and a box of bullets. No coffee or tea or sugar). There were a few t-shirts of Tommy’s and a pair of jeans. There was also a half-eaten, but not closed properly box of Sugar Crisp. The clothes were all folded and clean-looking but no underwear. I’d have even settled for a pair of his right now.

I opened the vitamin water and then made the bed and then lay down, deciding to wait for him. What else could I do?

Two hours later he still hadn’t come back, and I’d spent enough time in my own head. I was about to wander outside just out of boredom but then I heard a car pull. I heard voices, so I walked down the stairs and peeked outside through a window in one of the stalls and saw that an older couple were standing in the gravel driveway right beside the barn (despite it being a few hundred feet from the road) looking at a map, and loudly discussing the right way to get to some town I hadn’t heard of.

I listened for a minute and then saw the woman wave at me. How she’d spotted me in the shadows peeking out the window I hadn’t a clue, but she had seen me. She moved closer and the man with her followed.

Shit.

I stepped out of the barn.

“Hello,” I greeted.

The lady looked to be in her late sixties or even her seventies, maybe. “I’m sorry to disturb you dear, but we’re trying to get to highway ten. It’s a big confusing on the map.”

I looked at the map. “I’m sorry, I’m just visiting, and I don’t know the area very well.”

“Well, if you’ll just look–” she pointed, but the husband interrupted.

“Millie, she obviously doesn’t know where highway ten is so let’s not waste her time.”

“We’re here,” She ignored the crotchety old guy and put a bright pink pointy fingernail on the map and I saw that it said Line 10.

“Oh,” I said. “If this is where we are, this is Line 10. That’s not the same as highway ten. That’s over there.” I pointed a few inches over to the left.

“It looks like if you take this road twenty-four over, you can then get to highway nine and that’ll easily get you to highway 10. It looks pretty straightforward. I don’t know the area, though, so not sure I’m the best judge.”

“Line 10,” the husband said with a eureka look on his face, “That’s the last time I let you navigate, Mill!”

Something about his demeanor wasn’t sitting right with me. I frowned.

She waved her hand, looking mildly embarrassed. “Well thank you so much, dear. You’ve been a huge help.” She looked me in the eye, smiling big.

I backed away, expecting them to head off. The old woman stared for a moment.

“Are you alright, dear?” she asked.

“I’m fine,” I said. “Have a nice day.”

She looked at me for another beat and the husband just stood there, looking out at the fields in a way that made it seem phony.

My spidey senses were suddenly on even higher alert. Tommy said no one knew about this place. Surely these old people weren’t here to kidnap me or kill me or something, right? Why wouldn’t the husband have looked at the map himself? It was pretty obvious that they were on line ten and not highway ten.

“If you’re sure…” she nudged in a way that seemed like she was urging me to say I wasn’t fine.

“Yes, Ma’am. I need to get back to my, uh, chores. Have a safe drive.”

She nodded, looking a little frazzled suddenly, and then they headed back to the car and started pulling out of the end of the driveway. I walked back to the barn, but as I did I felt an eerie feeling, so I glanced over my shoulder and there was Millie, on her cell phone looking right at me and with a very serious look on her face as the car pulled away.

I got back into the barn and went to a different stall and looked out the window, watching to ensure they were actually gone. I decided to wait and make sure nothing was off. The whole time I waited, I was plotting, thinking of ways to defend myself. There was a big cop-sized flashlight upstairs that would be good for knocking someone over the head. Above the door in the barn was a horseshoe that I could bash someone with. Beyond that, I didn’t know what I’d do other than run or hide. Maybe there were tools or something in another stall. Tommy had bullets upstairs. Did that mean there was a gun somewhere? Maybe there was one strapped under the bed like back at his house.

I pondered dashing up to look, but kept watch out the window instead. I must’ve stayed there twenty or thirty minutes before I felt like I was safe. When I was half way up the stairs I heard a vehicle pull in. My heart started racing.

I peered out the window carefully and saw the silver Jeep. I was so relieved I must’ve sounded like a tire that’d sprung a leak with the long breath I let out.

A moment later, he opened the doors and then I heard him get back in and pull into the barn and then get out and shut the doors. I emerged from the stall to see him getting out of the vehicle with a tall paper coffee cup in one hand, another coffee cup held by his teeth at the rim, and in his other hand he had a bouquet of flowers and two big paper bags with rope handles. He looked good in tight jeans with a tight black t-shirt, his hair pushed away from his face with sunglasses. He gave me a little smile and a sexy wink as I walked up to him and then he handed me the cup in his hand and took the cup from his teeth into that now free hand. He leaned forward and kissed me quickly on the lips and then motioned, with his chin, for me to follow him upstairs. His eyes were sparkling. He looked happy.

I followed him to the little table where he put everything down and gathered me tight against him.

“Hi,” he whispered softly into my hair. “What were you doing in there?”

“Hi, I, uh…I’ll explain. You should’ve left me a note or something.”

He made a face that I couldn’t get a read on. “Oh. Never thought of that. Needed coffee.” He handed me the bouquet. “For you.”

“Thank you,” I looked at the bundle and realized they were from the fields. He must’ve picked them and brought them with him when he left. They were tied into a bouquet with a long yellow ribbon.

I took a sip of coffee.

“Liquid gold…” I murmured, then said, “These are gorgeous. Uh, there was this older couple that were just here that wanted directions, but then when they left I got this sort of weird spidey sense and thought I’d tell you in case they were, uh…I mean at first they didn’t seem like anything but an older couple who were lost, but the more I think about it the more–”

“Don’t worry, baby. No one knows about this place.” He cut me off and nonchalantly rummaged through the bags, lifting out a take-out bag. “Breakfast sandwiches,” he announced and put them on the table, then he passed another bag from inside the large bag.

“I picked you up something else to wear. I hope it’s all right. I should’ve gotten a bag packed for us yesterday, but with everything yesterday morning...” He shook his head, then he reached in the other bag and pulled out new clothes for himself, stacking them on the table. I saw jeans, a blue t-shirt, a black zippered hoodie, a package of socks, a black wife beater, and three-pack of boxer briefs. I also spotted a pink toothbrush. I glanced in the bag he’d handed me and found a short yellow sundress, a long, pink maxi dress, white lacy bra, white thong, pink thong, pink bra, black boy short panties, black bra, and a pair of simple black flat t-strap sandals along with a pair of baby blue white Converse high tops. Sizes all checked out and he evidently knew my taste, in addition to my size as well as the fact that I always wore matching bras and panties.

“I borrowed the ribbon from your new dress,” he said, motioning with his chin at the bouquet.

I put the bag down and took another sip of my coffee, eyeing him with scrutiny. He was acting a little sketchy.

“You were gone quite a while,” I said. “And you’ve been busy.”

He turned around and faced me with his brows raised, face looking carefully wiped blank.

“What’s going on, Tommy?”

He shook his head and shrugged. “The dresses okay?”

I nodded. “Perfect.”

Something wasn’t right. “Tommy?”

He pulled me close to him and murmured, “Did you miss me?” His voice was husky. He kissed the top of my head, hands trailing down to cup my backside.

“Yeah; I wondered where you went. I called, but your phone went to voicemail. Maybe next time you could leave a note or a text.”

“Sure, babe. And I’m officially off the radar today,” he said tucked my hair behind my ear with his fingertips.

“And you were gone a long time. I felt a bit stuck, a bit trapped here.”

“But you didn’t run away,” he said softly into my hair and then started walking me backwards toward the bed while nibbling on my ear.

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I was processing the course of events as he unbuttoned my skirt and then pulled to pull it down but before it was over my hips I stumbled as the backs of my legs hit the bed and fell backwards. He was right on top of me.

I stiffened. “Was that…was that a test?”

He made an Mm sound and then was kissing my neck.

“Tommy?”

“Mm, you taste so good, baby. Even if you do smell like a man.” He laughed.

“Tommy!” My hands landed on his chest and I tried to push him back. He reared back onto his knees at the end of the bed, so I sat up and scooted backwards.

He gave me a grin. “I’m very pleased with you right now. Let me show you.” He reached forward and ran his hand up my leg. I swatted his hand away and blazed a dirty look at him. He reached for me again and when I went to swat him away again, he caught my wrist in his hand and his expression darkened.

“I said I’d like to show you how pleased I am with you. You want me this pleased, trust me.” His facial expression made a chill crawl up my spine.

He laid me back down and started kissing from my throat down my arm and then his mouth was between my breasts. He looked up while kissing me and gave me a little smile. I lay there stiffly, a scowl on my face.

He stopped and looked up at me and sighed. “Okay, yes. You passed. Can you forget about it so we can move on with our day? I have so many things planned. So many things…” He tongued my earlobe.

I winced, feeling a little sick. He’d left me alone here for hours wondering where he was and then I’d been afraid that those people were part of something sketchy. And they were; they were here to scam me, to see if I’d try to, to what, escape with them? Would they have driven me right to him? Then I’d have been in big trouble. What would he have done?

I shook my head. He rewards obedience. He punishes defiance.

“Don’t be mad at me,” he whispered. “I’m so not mad at you.”

I squirmed out from under him and went over to the table to take another mouthful of coffee and then wandered over to the screen and looked out at the pond. He came up behind me and put his arms around my waist and his chin on my head.

He softly said, “I wanted to believe that you’re being real with me, about what we discussed last night. I guess I just had doubts and I wanted to put it to rest. Either you’d pass and I’d know you’re really giving me a chance, or you’d fail and then I’d know.”

I spun around. “Know what? That I was capable of Oscar-worthy performances? And then what would you have done?”

“I…” He started, took a deep breath, then said, “I don’t know what I would’ve done. But I’d have been devastated. Devastated. I’m glad you passed. Now I can breathe easier, baby. Please don’t be upset. I want us to have a good day today. We can go fishing, I bought us fishing rods. We can go to dinner later. I booked a table at this little place not far from here.”

I shook my head, giving him a disapproving look.

He continued, caressing my face as he talked to me. “I’ll cut wood and we can have a bonfire with some marshmallow-roasting tonight, then tomorrow morning we’ll head back to the city. I called the Crenshaws, and they were busy today but we’re meeting them at their house tomorrow for brunch and then we’ll head home. I have to jet away for a business trip, and I’ll be gone for a couple days so this is time for us before I go.”

He was looking at me with puppy dog eyes. I wanted to stay mad. But I didn’t, at the same time. I wanted today to be the first day since the day before grad of not hating my existence, I wanted today to be the first day of my engagement, the engagement I’d agreed to be in last night. I meant it last night. But the reality was that this wasn’t a typical engagement. He wasn’t a typical man.

“You didn’t trust me. Last night meant so much to me and you thought I was playing you. I thought we decided on a new beginning.” I looked down at my feet away from those puppy dog eyes. They were totally adorable and cracking my armor.

“I want that so much. I wanted it to be real. I fell asleep believing it was real. I was so happy last night, baby. It meant a lot to me, too. It meant everything. But when I woke up this morning, I had this little voice telling me it was too good to be true. You probably wanted me dead a few days ago. When Earl shot at me, all I could think of was that you’d be relieved if he killed me, relieved thinking you had your life back. You’ve been through a lot. I started to doubt that I deserved this about-face and then I started to think maybe you were just placating me until you got a chance to run. I couldn’t think straight, so I went for a walk and picked those flowers. Then I went for a drive. I decided to set up a little test, that’s all. You passed. I feel better. Please just…”

He looked a little bit lost. He ran a hand through his hair and looked at me, eyebrows raised, lips a little pouty.

I felt my anger soften a little. I guess he picked up on it, because he started jerking his head to and fro, searching my face, looking like he was searching for a sign I wasn’t angry. He smiled but it was punctuated by a question mark. Then he raised his eyebrows again and I smiled back.

“S’mores,” I said, “For the bonfire and you’ve got a deal.”

He scooped me up in his arms and kissed me hard. Then he popped me onto the bed and rolled me onto my belly and lay on top of my back, pinning me to the bed, holding my hands above my head while he nuzzled the back of my neck. He then lifted my top and rained kisses over my bare back. It tickled a little, so I squirmed. He must’ve liked that because I then felt his erection poking me in the backside. That was when he started to really tickle me, and that made me begin to struggle. He flipped me onto my side and I caught his expression and the struggling seemed to wake something up in him.

He let out a growl while flipping me onto my back, pinning my arms above my head. His hands and eyes travelled up and down my body as he undid his jeans, holding my eyes captive in his gaze. I swallowed hard.

“Don’t move,” he warned, his expression looking deadly serious.

My heart hammered against my chest.

He pulled my already undone skirt the rest of the way down, smirking, seeing I was commando. He kissed my hip and worked his way over to between my legs.

His tongue certainly knew what it was doing, so I went off like a cannon in what felt like about ninety seconds. Bang, boom; holy shit! As soon as I came, he rammed hard into me and grabbed me by the hair. I winced at the bite of pain as he then he twirled me, moving so his legs dangled off the bed, me straddled, riding him.

He grabbed my shoulders and looked me right in the eye. “Never leave me. Ever.”

I blinked hard and shivered.

“Because. You. Are. Mine.” He hammered into me with every word. I closed my eyes, and I think I winced again because he got my chin into his grasp and pulled my face forward and his nose was an inch from mine and he demanded, “Right?”

I swallowed hard. His eyes softened.

“Say it,” he said softly but there was still an edge to his voice.

It was all too fresh. I wasn’t ready for this declaration. Nowhere near ready. I wasn’t remotely interested in playing this game. But judging by the look on his face, I needed to play it. I needed to play it and then move on from it otherwise the lovely day he’d organized for us would be gone to pot.

“I didn’t leave,” I whispered, chin trembling.

“Why?” His narrow eyes were filled with warning.

“Because I didn’t want to. I told you I’d give you a chance. I meant it, Tommy.”

“You’ll marry me?” he asked, eyes hard.

“Yes,” I answered.