Chapter Nine
It shocked me how easily Vasren sank into his old role with me. Yes, he had a mask too. I realized that in the days that followed. His mask was that of the concerned lover. The protective mate. The strong, powerful Dragon. I had to be small to make him feel big.
The bitterness of that poisoned me slowly.
Four days after I became his little Kat again, Vasren sat with me at the dining table in the central room of his suite, stroking my hair like a pet in between bites of food. I stared at him, wondering if he knew how much he hurt me with his affection. Or if that made it all the sweeter for him.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked down at my plate.
I had never been enough for any man. Vasren had probably taken hundreds of lovers over his lifetime.
He was over a century old, after all. I was certain that all of them had wanted him for himself.
And yet he begrudged me my seven other lovers, all of whom had wanted a lover that fit my face.
Delicate, meek, sweet. They wanted a submissive man who would bend to their will.
My appearance had often worked in my favor.
No one ever suspected kind, tremulous Katai of any wrongdoing.
But as far as love went, it had always worked against me.
My relationship with Vasren was no exception. It made my body feel like a curse.
My appearance had gotten me all I'd ever wanted—a handsome man, a home, wealth, and immortality.
How could I complain? And yet, my resentment and pain kept growing.
I was going to choke on them soon. Could a man die of bitterness?
Not if he was immortal. Ah, yet another case of be careful what you wish for.
“Did you hear me, Kat?” Vasren brought me out of my painful musing.
“No, I'm sorry, my love.” I softened my expression and looked at Vas. “I was daydreaming. What did you say?”
He smiled and stroked my cheek. “My little daydreamer. I asked if you'd like to leave the suite today. I think you've repented enough.”
Oh, right. That was another of his conditions. Little Kat had to repent. I spent time on my knees every night before him, repenting with his cock in my mouth. Funny how lovers often turned to sex as a means of amends. Didn't Vas know that he tainted our love with that demand?
No, Vas didn't know anything he didn't want to know.
“Thank you, Vas,” I murmured, shoving the words out. “You're too good to me. And yes, I'd love to stretch my legs a bit. Perhaps the garden? I could repent outside for once.” I shot him a timid yet wicked look.
His favorite.
Oh, yes. He loved to see a little naughtiness in me. But not too much. I couldn't act like a whore, after all. No, that was too close to the real me, evidently.
Whore. Criminal. Murderer. Traitor. The words circled my mind, stabbing me with each rotation. It was all right. I didn't let the pain show. That wasn't part of this scene. Take a breath, Katai. Put on the mask. Play the part. With feeling.
Vasren chuckled, the sound low, possessive, and delighted. “Not yet, sweetheart. It's still too soon for my dragon. He might rise if you repented where someone could see us.”
His dragon. The words sent a shiver down my spine.
The beast was more discerning than the man.
Ever since my behavior adjustment, it hadn't made an appearance.
It seemed to like the real me better. That both comforted and worried me.
I was worthy of a dragon but not the man.
What did that say about me? Monsters attract monsters?
At least I knew there was a part of Vasren that liked me best.
“Of course,” I whispered and ducked my head as if hiding a blush.
Vasren's fingertips slid beneath my chin and lifted it. “You could always do a little repenting now, little Kat.”
My stomach twisted. My chest constricted.
I just barely controlled my sudden urge to upend his plate in his lap and tell him to go fuck himself.
Instead, I smiled shyly and pushed back my chair.
Vas spread his legs as I crawled beneath the table.
He didn't undo his pants. No, he preferred me to do that.
But he did stroke my hair and face as I released his erection.
Damn, I wish I hated this part. It might make it easier.
But I loved sex with Vas. Any kind of sex.
And as submissive as this act seemed, it made me feel powerful.
More like myself. He might stroke me like a dog while he lounged in his chair like a king, but I made him weak.
My hands, lips, and tongue played him like a musical instrument, drawing moans and cries of delight from him.
I flicked the blushing tip of his long, thick cock and closed my eyes to savor the taste.
Yes, this was the part of our relationship that kept me going—the pleasure I gave and received from him. When we were making love, I could forget that Vas wasn't there with me. I could forget that Katai wasn't good enough for him. He was mine. I took him. That was all that mattered.
“Oh, fuck!” Vas cried out, his cock kicking in my mouth. “Oh, my Kat!” He came in great pulses and then sprawled in his chair, spent.
Thank the Gods that constant coming was over.
His essence had done its job. Now, all I got was base cum in a few short spurts.
And I swallowed it hungrily. It belonged to me as much as he did.
That's right. I might be playing a role, but I fucking owned him with it.
And the best part was that Vas thought the opposite was true.