Chapter Twelve
Even after all that drama, it was nice to explore Sunsho.
The city was amazing, even more wondrous than Kochan.
You'd think the crown city would be the gem of Rushao.
But the best part of Kochan was the Royal Palace, and I never got to see that.
Sunsho had been built for the wealthiest citizens of Rushao as a place where they could relax and spend their wealth.
The shops were the finest in the land, the homes were the grandest, and the people were all beautiful.
So what was a mere knight doing there?
Well, Dragon knights were different from other knights.
Only noble Dragons could serve the Dragon King.
That meant Vas was rich. Really rich. Plus, he liked the finer things.
So, it didn't surprise me that his private residence was in Sunsho instead of a Dragon enclave.
It all went back to his pride and his need to play the big man.
He couldn't do that among his fellow Dragons.
Most Dragons were as strong as Vasren. He'd be average in an enclave, only his status elevating him.
No, Vas needed to live among the weaker races so he could play hero.
Oh, fuck, that bitterness was back. I didn't like the way it made me feel about Vas.
I knew he was a good man. A hero complex was hardly the worst quality I'd seen in a person.
Nothing to get vengeful about. But I couldn't help analyzing him as I did everyone.
It was especially important that I know all of Vasren's quirks if I was going to continue this ruse. And the mating bond helped with that.
It didn't seem to help Vas at all. It couldn't. Not if he wanted to keep his little Kat.
But as we returned to Vasren's enchanting estate, I caught glimpses of reality in his eyes.
Oh yes, he knew he was playing a role just as much as I was.
And that was reassuring. I didn't like the idea of Vasren being completely lost in the fantasy.
That would have made me worry about his sanity.
Although after all I'd put him through, I suppose a little madness would have been normal—both types of madness.
But Vas wasn't insane. He was stubborn and desperate, but not insane.
He wanted me to be the man he loved. I suppose it was a sort of resurrection for him.
Kat had been killed by Hallaxgral, and I offered to bring him back to life.
Like anyone who had lost someone dear, he had snatched at the chance to have his lover back.
But now, he was starting to understand the cost of resurrecting the dead.
They never come back exactly as you remember them.
At least I knew that Kat had never died. He was still alive inside me. He just wasn't all of me.
“Thank you for the lovely outing, Vas,” I purred and stroked his arm. “Does this mean you've forgiven me?”
That old hatred flashed in his eyes, but was quickly dampened. “Yes, I've forgiven you. But I want you to promise me that you'll never run from me again.”
I froze. I may have played the role of a criminal, but I saw myself as an honorable man, and I took my vows very seriously.
“Kat?” Vas leaned in.
The carriage came to a stop. We were back at his estate.
“I will never run from you again,” I vowed.
He started to smile.
But then I added, “As long as you give me no cause to.”
Before he could speak, the driver opened the carriage door.
Vasren climbed out and then helped me down. “Have the packages taken to my suite.”
“Yes, sir,” the driver said.
Vas took my hand and led me forward. Instead of heading inside the manor, he veered to the right and took me into the garden.
I breathed in the delicate perfume of blooming flowers and tried to still my racing heart.
I may have gone too far with amending my vow, but I needed an escape clause, as it were.
I wasn't going to bind myself to his side blindly and indefinitely.
Even if he was magically bound to me in such a way.
Hey, I wasn't a Dragon. It comforted me to know that if things got terrible between us again, I could always leave.
My ship often made port in Weiha, just about forty miles down the coast from Sunsho.
If I could make it there, I could return to Tabaa and then travel even further.
I'd be more careful. Vas would never catch me. But that was a last resort.
Honestly, strolling through the immaculate grounds of his estate, I never wanted to leave.
There, I had Vas, even if it was in a fantasy state.
And I also had security. The Talon Force wouldn't dare arrest me now.
On top of that, there was this amazing estate, far more beautiful than anywhere I'd ever lived.
I loved being near the sea. I'd be lying if I said his home didn't tempt me. It made the illusion easier to endure.
Vas escorted me along a crushed shell path, around the flower beds and golden statues of dragons.
Then we were in the back of the manor, strolling beside the pond with waterlilies and fish shimmering against the indigo tiles that lined the bottom.
Up ahead, the cliff came to a point. The gazebo perched there—the place where he had gone to weep.
The memory softened my heart. I loved Vasren. That was an inescapable fact. No vow needed. I would always be bound to him through that simple magic. Even if he went back to being cruel, I would still love him. The heart is dumb.
I also understood pain and the need for vengeance.
So, I could see that beneath his bright facade, Vas knew who I was and sought payment from me for his pain.
That's what all the stupid repenting had been about.
Even as he doted on me, he punished me. Fuck, Vas wasn't lost to the illusion; he was working it as much as I was. He knew this hurt me.
Damn him for being smarter than I gave him credit for. I hated underestimating people.
Sure enough, Vasren gave me a smug, almost sinister look as he escorted me into the gazebo. He sat us down in the very spot he had occupied the other night. Did he know I had seen him? Fuck, now I was second-guessing myself.
As if he could read my mind—and shit, maybe he could—Vas said, “You promised to be Kat for me.”
I let out an almost relieved breath. It would be nice to speak without a mask in place. Just be honest for a few minutes. “Have I failed in that?”
His hand intertwined with mine. “Kat would have made that vow without reservation.”
“No, he wouldn't have. He's part of me, and we take vows very seriously. I gave you the promise I felt I could make.”
“So you think you could escape me?”
His words sent a shiver down my spine. “Escape? Are you saying I'm a prisoner?”
“No, but you're my mate. You will remain free only as long as you are with me. And I will only live as long as you are with me.”
“Vas, I'm not as ignorant of Dragon culture as you think. I know you won't die if I leave.”
His face suddenly went vicious, and his hand clenched around mine. “Not right away, no. I will have enough time to hunt you, my little Kat. Remember that.”
“Oh, I will. This isn't the first time you've threatened me.”
Vasren blinked and straightened. His hand gentled.
“I . . . I don't mean to threaten you. I'm sorry, Katai.” He looked away, sighing as his head rolled back.
He stared at the domed roof above us. “The bond is still settling.
I don't have full control of myself yet.” He looked back at me.
“That's why I need you to keep this up for now.
When you're Kat, I can find no issue with you.
No reason to behave as I just did. It's the other you who brings forth my beast. He is . . . fascinated with that part of you. He will not let you go.” Vasren's hand went to my cheek.
“And neither will I.” His hand slid down to grip my chin.
“I do need you, Katai. All of you. I need you to stay even when I behave horribly. Without you, I will wither away. Become an empty person, barely alive. So, if you love me as you say, this is how you make up for what you did. You stay. You give me what I need during this volatile time. You show me that you love me. And I will offer this vow in return; we will get past this. Someday, I will have the control I need to truly forgive you and accept you as you are.”
I sucked in a tremulous breath. “Vas, that's . . .” I swallowed and tried again. “That's all I could hope for. I do love you, and if you need me to be someone else for a while to prove it, so be it.”
“Then vow to me that you will never run from me again.”
I took another deep breath and made the vow despite the warning that tightened my belly. “I will never run from you again, Vasren.”
Vas exhaled as if he had made the vow, and then he pulled me in against him. Not to kiss. Just to embrace. Vas folded himself around me and held me tightly.
Finally, he whispered, “I will hold you to that, Katai Tsai.”