Chapter 4 #2
No, no, don’t do this. There is no way. Absolutely no way that I am seeing him right now. She raised her hands to her eyes and wiped vigorously. As though there was a filter over them, creating a figment of her imagination.
She dropped her hands, hoping to only see Rowlin when her vision returned, but to her dismay, there Jayce stood—a smile painted across his painstakingly gorgeous face.
He looked like an old soul in the body of a thirty-year-old; Perfect facial features, with remarkably high cheekbones and a masculine jawline and chin. A thick, dark head of jet-black hair came to just above his shoulders, and a soft layer of bristly hair covered his chin, jawline, and upper lip.
Jayce only stopped when he was a foot before Azahara, his head tilted downward.
She had nearly forgotten how tall he was.
He was well over a foot taller than her, and it wasn’t just his height that overpowered her.
His build was anything but compact, with broad shoulders, he was stocky and powerful, with hardened muscles in his arms and chest.
“Hello, Azahara. What a coincidence.” His hazel eyes were gentle as he looked at her.
The smell of mother nature and peppermint hung to him, causing her to fall into bliss.
It reminded her of home, and while that should have brought her comfort, it only reminded her of what was still there. What she had left behind.
Rowlin was beside her then, waving his hand and sending her a wide smile. She could only see it through the corner of her eye, as she feared taking her eyes off Jayce would cause him to do something they’d both regret.
“Hi, Rowlin,” Azahara murmured. To her surprise, Rowlin put his hand on Jayce’s chest and pushed him back, giving himself space to step before her.
She watched him say, “I’m so happy to see you out of your room.”
Azahara felt Jayce’s eyes on her, and she was mortified. Pure fear ran through her. Rowlin must have seen it in her eyes because he signed, “What is it?”
Turning towards Alyse, she asked “Why is he here?” Her tone was shaky, and she was so surprised that she immediately cleared her throat.
“Ouch,” Jayce forced a pained tone, “I’m right here, you know.”
Completely ignoring him, Azahara eyed Alyse expectantly, begging for an answer.
“Uh, I didn’t realize you knew each other. He is part of the crew, specifically for—” Alyse was cut off by Azahara putting her hands on her arms.
“Alyse, he is the First Commander of the White Cloaks to the King. The same King that wants my head. This is no coincidence.” Azahara found her lips trembling, and she stared so profoundly at Alyse, pleading with her to understand the severity of the situation.
She nodded but didn’t say anything.
Quickly releasing her, she turned to Jayce, Rowlin knowing to step aside immediately. She felt the now too-familiar bite of power rising to her skin. The sense that she needed to protect herself and the people on this ship drove her control.
“Why? You knew I’d be onboard this ship! Why are you here?”
“I didn’t.” He was lying through his teeth, and she knew it. “I left the White Cloaks.”
“Bullshit!” Azahara spat, and he smiled.
God damn it, don’t smile at me.
“After the battle and aiding with the cleanup, I resigned.” His tone was so husky, and it frustrated her that he could be such a good liar, but he wasn’t going to trick her. “Figured I’d try my luck at sea since land didn’t serve me so well.”
She shook her head, “No, absolutely no way. Where is Karver? Is he here, too?” She stepped towards him, and he lifted his hands in defense.
“Please, no need to be violent.”
“Aza,” it was Alyse, “we can always ask Zephyra if you want confirmation—”
“Wonderful idea.” The thought of using someone for such a granular thing caused a buzz in her head, but she didn’t care.
They had to see him for the liar that he was.
Alyse was too kind to throw him overboard, but when she saw his truth, hopefully, she would see reason and assist in feeding him to the fish.
Grabbing his wrist, she dragged him down the stairs and onto the main deck.
Without needing to look very far, she saw Zephyra standing with Yelena, who was an Ossodian.
Her green skin tinted as they approached, flustered at their quickened steps.
Zephyra, who had shown no interest in being a friend to Azahara, scowled directly at her.
“Tell her now.” Azahara said while grabbing at Jayce, moving him in front of the Elf.
“Demanding things before a date, huh?” he joked, slipping his wrist from her grasp and rubbing it gently. “You have quite the grip. Did you get stronger after the night we danced? I remember you being more delicate.”
She despised that she was blushing. It only fueled her hatred and mistrust more.
Zephyra was staring at her but held a much softer expression when she looked at Jayce. “Tell me what?” Her voice was silky, and Azahara swore then that she was putting all her effort into seeming interested in whatever Jayce had to say.
“If I must,” he inclined his hand towards Zephyra, and she, without hesitation, gave hers to him. “I was telling Azahara here that I am merely a crew member aboard this ship and serve only our Captain Hawthorn.”
Azahara watched as Zephyra nearly melted into a puddle before him.
“Why are you telling me this?” Zephyra asked, biting her lip and fluttering her eyelashes.
Are you fucking kidding me? Azahara had her mouth wide open, unabashedly showing her surprise at the show that was happening before her.
“For you to confirm that I am telling the truth,” Jayce kissed Zephyra’s hand, and Azahara nearly punched him. She had no idea where she found the strength to restrain from it.
Zephyra’s eyes bore into Azahara with a look of absolute disgust, a visceral reaction etched upon her face, “He speaks the truth.”
“Are you sure, or is the leaking drain between your thighs hindering your senses?” Azahara gritted her teeth and turned from them, quickly moving back towards Alyse, standing as straight as she’d ever seen her.
Azahara barreled past her and rushed towards the opposite side of the ship. She could hear footsteps behind her, thankful that it was a light pair. That meant it would be anyone but Jayce following her.
Alyse, bless her, sprinted in front of Azahara, “Wait, where are you going?”
“I’m going to swim to Ilkiz from here,” it was impossible, she knew that. Still, if no one was going to believe her, it was safer than being on this ship with someone directly connected to the King.
“That would be ill-advised,” she was walking backward, Azahara stampeding towards her. “Please, Aza, talk with me.”
“I told you who he is,” she threw her hands up in frustration, “he is lying!”
“But Zephyra…”
Azahara felt her eye twitch, and it was evident that Alyse had seen it.
“Okay, okay—just slow down, please.” Alyse collided with the ship’s railing as they reached the farthest point at the back. “What do you want me to do?”
“Throw him overboard.” She was so quick to respond that it surprised Alyse.
“I can’t do that. I’m sorry.”
“Then I’ll go,” Pushing Alyse forcefully out of her way, she stepped up on a box and onto the ledge. This had been the first time she looked straight down, seeing how far the plunge was from deck to the sea’s surface.
It would likely knock her out if she didn’t land properly. If she drowned, her body would float to land or be consumed by a sea creature. Would she come back from being dismembered by a shark?
“Get down from there,” she was struck by the myriad of emotions conveyed through the voice that was now speaking to her, “or I’ll drag you down myself.” His tone, though stern, carried a sense of genuine concern in its unwavering firmness.
Azahara didn’t look back, she only held tightly to the rope lines.
The last time they spoke, he told her to be careful on the battlefield. He had sent Karver there to protect her. She felt that every action he had taken before the battle had been out of nothing but care for her.
However, she couldn’t ignore the fact that he had the closest connection to the King. Jayce was sworn to his duty, and no amount of words he could spew would convince her that he was there by coincidence. He was not there for her well-being.
“Before I get back to the sleepy King.” He had all but protected that piece of shit while his people died on the battlefield.
“Jayce, I strongly suggest you just back off for now.” It was Alyse with the voice of reason.
“With all due respect, Captain. No.” There was no harshness to his tone. Purely straight to the point.
A mock gasp came from Alyse, “Captain? Pfft. Oh, now you’ve really done it.” She was upset at the title, not the insubordination of her so-called crew member.
Azahara turned her gaze to Jayce. His arms were crossed over his broad chest, an eyebrow raised. “If you come down, we can talk.”
“I don’t want to talk to you. Anything I tell you will get straight back to the King. They are probably on our tail right now.”
“They aren’t,” he answered quickly, “I promise.”
“Your promise means nothing.”
Alyse, from the corner of her eye, was slowly backing away.
“I’m going to just leave you two to it. If you jump from this ship, Azahara Rhay Starfall, I swear I’ll send Xol in after you.
” It was meant to be a funny jab, and while she would have normally laughed at it, Azahara stayed penciled into her fury.
Then, it was just the two of them.
Jayce took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair. “Do you want me to jump in and drag you back onto this ship?” His voice held a gentle tone reminiscent of their last encounter.
“No,” she spun around and quickly stepped back onto the solid floor of the ship.
He visibly relaxed, “Thank you.”
“Jayce, for the love of the Mother, what do you want?” She crossed her arms under her chest, her hands gripping the loose fabric of her flowing dress.
She watched him, his body language, and how he never took his eyes off of her. He leaned towards her as if wanting to approach and close the five or so feet between them.
“I’m here because—”
“I swear,” she felt burning behind her eyes, “do not lie to me. I’m so fucking serious.”
He stepped towards her, and she pressed against the ledge—the wood biting into the dimples of her back. He stopped then and didn’t approach her further.
“I’m not here to hurt you.”
She felt her lip tremble as pain flooded her, “You’d only give others the means to do so.”
“Never,” he shot out quickly.
“I don’t believe you.”
“Let me try to convince you then.” He was pleading, and somehow, it made her hate herself more than she already did. While she knew he was lying, his genuine look made her disgusted with herself for being so hostile towards him.
“What makes you think I want you to convince me?” Her tone was anything but kind.
“Aza—”
“Don’t say my name as if you care. You knew what your presence would do to me.
It is no secret that the King is out for my head.
So, what,” she laughed without humor, her eyes narrowing, “you thought, why not take a job on the Neptune? No—it’s not a coincidence.
Alyse told me she discussed with the entire crew who was coming onboard.
The King warned all passenger ships that a short, curly-haired redhead with bright blue eyes—”
“—and beautiful beyond comprehension.“ Jayce cut in, a brilliant smile lacing his lips.
Her nostrils flared, “No, would be looking for a passage to Ilkiz and was wanted for the Massacre at Sunfall.” She stepped toward him, and his head gently tilted downward, “You knew I’d be on this ship.”
A confirming nod, “I did know.” He confessed, but it wasn’t good enough for her.
“Your King sent you—”
“He did not. That is the truth. I volunteered to come.” Jayce said with assurance.
“Why…” her voice cracked, and she hated that it did. All she wanted was to stay strong, not to cry and break down. “I don’t want you here.”
He stepped to her, and she shook her head, “Do not touch me.“ He immediately stopped, and she dropped her eyes downward. They were so close she could smell the worldly scents he brought. She was no longer on a ship but back in a grassy meadow surrounded by trees and an overcast sky.
“Why…” She repeated, and by the Mother, she hoped he would answer. “Please, just tell me why…” She wanted to hear that he had defied the King, only to ensure she was okay, that Karver was downstairs, hiding until he knew she wouldn’t throw him overboard, too.
Instead, he said, “I’ll get off on the next port; I will tell Alyse to detour to Dogon,” she could hear the underlying defeat in his tone.
Her eyes closed, and she wanted to cry. Gods be damned, Jayce, why did you come here?
As if there wasn’t enough pain, why couldn’t he have lived in her memory as someone who had once given her hope?
He could have stayed in the bright light of her mind, giving her some semblance of peace of her broken past.
Now, he was her enemy.
“Goodbye, Jayce.” Her words mirroring the broken pieces of her heart that would never be put back together. She was being tested at every turn and she couldn’t understand why.
Haven’t I suffered enough…