Chapter 6
“A
zahara!” There were rough hands on her shoulders, shaking her and pulling her from the depths of the abyss.
Please leave me alone. I’m not dreaming for once…
For once, she wasn’t plagued by nightmares. It was as if she had died and was sitting in Purgatory. The absence of Death was the only tell that she was not where she would rather be, but instead, alone in the confines of her mind.
“Get away from her; I’ll take her.” Jayce yelled, his voice tinged with possessiveness. It was a level of dominance she wouldn’t dare argue with, given the force behind it.
Strong arms wrapped around her shoulders, and it was all she needed to begin to open her eyes slowly. Jayce was pulling her to his chest, his other hand pointing toward something she couldn’t see.
“Rope up, now!” He screamed; the sound was so loud that it shook her heart’s cage.
Jayce must have felt her shudder because he looked down at her, their eyes meeting.
There was chaos all around them, and she could feel the floor shuddering under them and the shadows that were cast by the few lanterns still lit.
She closed her eyes, ready to return to the darkness. “Stay awake for me,” his voice was calm as if the ship wasn’t under threat from the sea. When her eyes reopened, she noticed a flicker of fire in his hazel eyes, causing the corner of her lips to twitch with a huffed laugh.
“Five more minutes,” she murmured.
“Was that a joke?” Jayce laughed, “You really must have hit your head.”
The throbbing was nothing compared to what she had experienced over the past few months. If he hadn’t mentioned it, she might not have noticed. “I’m fine,” she said, beginning to sit up, and with his assistance, she managed to get to her feet.
Chaos was not a strong enough word for what was happening. The ship was tossed and heaved. Its hull creaked under her, the relentless assault of towering waves flooded over its sides.
The crew was scrambling to maintain control, desperately clinging to their stations and finding the ropes that Xol had securely placed on the masts. Everyone braced themselves for another hit when Jayce put his arm around her waist and hoisted her towards a spar.
As her back pressed against the solid wood, his body became a protective barrier, and his arms held her in place as the ship was rocked by a massive swell. Amidst the screams surrounding them, she clenched her jaw tightly and found the only place to put her hands for support: around Jayce.
She could hear Alyse shouting orders over the deafening roar of the wind and water, blending into a cacophony of urgency. Mayhem, there was so much of it that it felt like the Battle at Sunfall all over again.
Jayce cursed, followed by a loud, shrill scream that pierced through all other noise.
She recognized the sound and immediately knew it was a Siren’s call.
She could barely see several of the crew members beginning to huddle over Tillin.
The scent of copper filled the air, and she knew something terrible had happened.
When Alyse rushed to him and everyone moved, she caught sight of the pool of blood around him.
Azahara’s eyes widened, and instead of seeing Tillin, she saw Zhal, helplessly lying there, dying.
Flashes of them returning from Helgum and the image of the axe in her back caused a visceral wave of fear to surge through her.
Blood was everywhere, and there was no way to stop it.
“Zhal—” Her voice was soft, nearly inaudible.
The Siren had made it abundantly clear that he wanted nothing to do with her, but seeing him writhing in pain with his arm severed and hearing his cries for help made her feel sick. Her body trembled, and Jayce reacted immediately.
“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Jayce leaned back to pull her into view, and he immediately noticed what had her unblinking stare. “Shit, we have to be careful.”
“Jayce!” Alyse screamed, “Come help us move him!”
Azahara felt him move away from her, and her knee-jerk reaction caused her to grab his arm. She took an unsteady breath and looked up at him, fear ripping through her. Her lips parted slightly, “He’s going to—”
“No, Azahara, it’s okay.” Jayce placed both hands at the sides of her neck, his thumbs pressing at the contours of her cheeks. “Hear my voice. He will be okay.”
“I can’t fight the sea,” She had no idea what she was saying, but the urge to protect this crew was driving her to be irrational. “I can’t do anything. I’m helpless, I can’t—”
Jayce lifted her head and pressed his forehead against hers, “You are anything but helpless.” His voice carried a tenderness reserved only for her, “Close your eyes, take a breath, and feel peace.”
His hands moved behind her, pulling her to him. Once again, she was sandwiched between the spire and his massive frame as the ship was rocked.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. As she had that night in Howl, she let go of her fear and focused on the light that burned in her chest. It was warm, and it felt like life and death simultaneously. Everything about it was welcoming, and she clung to it.
She focused on the moon and stars and how they brought light into the darkened night. How sad it was that the sun and the moon would never truly be together. They would forever be on opposite ends, but she knew that they both served the same purpose, to give light to the realm.
When she opened her eyes, Jayce was still there with her.
She didn’t say anything, only nodded.
An affectionate smile lined his lips, “Stay here and tie up. I’ll come right back to you,” he moved away from her, rushing off to aid in moving Tillin.
Azahara grabbed hold of the rope that Xol had placed to secure them, and began wrapping it around her waist. She prayed to the Mother that the ship would endure the storm. Still, her hope dwindled with another wave crashing against the vessel and throwing everyone across the deck.
Another scream echoed through the hull, but this one surpassed Tillin’s in sheer chilling intensity. It wasn’t the pitch that made it dreadful, but the word that resonated from it.
“Rowlin!”
Azahara felt the world around her shift into slow motion, as if someone had taken her hourglass and tipped it on its side, causing time to nearly reach a standstill.
Her body had turned without invitation, and in her view, Rowlin was toppling backward off the ship.
Even if he wasn’t knocked out by the fall, the darkness of the sea would swallow him.
He would be dragged under the relentless waves, and even if he managed to resurface for air, he couldn’t call for help.
They were going to take him away right in front of her.
Not again…
“No!”
Azahara dropped the rope, and as she felt a rush of power coursing beneath her skin, she leaped over the edge just as he cleared the railing.
The look of shock on Rowlin’s face was immediately hidden by her arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him close to her body.
“Hold on, no matter what, do not let go of me!” There was no hesitation, and he clung to her tightly, his grip revealing both terror, and relief that he wouldn’t be alone in the darkness that was about to envelop them both.
Time returned to its normal pace, and as it did, Azahara shifted Rowlin on top of her, feeling the solid surface below her slam the air out of her lungs.
The impact sent a shockwave of coldness through her body, disorienting her senses.
The tempestuous sea enveloped her as the unforgiving water swallowed them.
They plunged deep into the sea, and while she fought to suppress a panic attack, she tightened her grip on Rowlin.
Her skin began to glow, and every instinct screamed for air.
Still, the chaotic turbulence made orienting them and finding which way was up, challenging.
Rowlin wouldn’t survive without air, and although suffocating was not Azahara’s preferred way to die, his life mattered most.
One of her hands extended, letting it go limp, and she watched as it began to float in the direction they needed to swim. Her body battled against the current, and with Rowlin’s help, they kicked hard enough to find and break through the surface.
She gulped in the air, feeling the harsh winds against her face and the rain cutting into her cheeks. It was pitch black, with only the Neptune in sight, wobbling and drifting to their right.
As she attempted to breathe, she accidentally sucked in a gulp of seawater, sending a piercing pain through her throat, causing her to cough uncontrollably.
Her hands slipped from Rowlin, but thankfully, he heeded her words and held her tightly.
Her arms wrapped under his, keeping his head above water while her head dipped under.
Rowlin kicked hard, even though it felt useless. The waves were relentless, nearly drowning her every time she tried to take a breath. “Hel—” Water rushed down her throat, and she was pulled under; a current wrapped around her, and her grip on Rowlin slipped as he couldn’t maintain his hold.
“No!” As the current pulled her downward, she screamed and outstretched her hand. He was still visible above her, but she lost the battle to get back to him as her legs and body weakened.
The darkness of the sea as she was dragged deeper blinded her, and the deeper she sank, the colder it became. She closed her eyes, and the sounds of the chaotic storm and thrashing waves slowly faded. Only the serene abyss below seemed to welcome her into its embrace.
When her eyes shot open, she saw a hand reaching for hers.
Her body fought to straighten, her arm stretching out towards it.
Their fingers intertwined and she was yanked upward with a force the relentless sea couldn’t attest to.
She was pulled into her savior’s embrace as they rushed to breach the surface.
Her lungs burned, and she cried out as they finally broke for air.
“I’ve got you, Azahara,” Jayce said, his head resting against hers as he fought the current with his free arm. The other held her tightly at her waist, a grip that spoke of nothing ripping her away.
Her head pressed between the curve of his neck, and her legs continued to aid even if it wasn’t needed. “Rowlin—”
She expected him to sound angry, but instead, there was only relief. “We got him.”
Azahara blacked out momentarily as the time between him grabbing her and being carried up the ladder seemed to pass instantly. Relief washed over her as her legs found solid ground and the depths of the sea remained where they belonged, beneath the ship.
Every part of her felt heavy, likely due to the soaked dress that molded to her body.
“Jayce!” Alyse called to him, “Put her back in the sea, now!”
Huh… Azahara felt his arms tighten around her, nails biting into her skin.
“Look at her…” Alyse was beside him, and while Azahara had difficulty distinguishing what was going on, it looked like she was trying to pry her from him. “She—”
“Touch her,” His voice threatening, making Alyse cower away, “and it won’t be her you need to worry about being on this ship.”
What are you seeing… She glanced down at her hands, which were resting in her lap. The dark shadow had erupted around her, and the bright light that had guided them to Rowlin was now gone.
Jayce put his arm under her legs and lifted her to him.
Her head leaned against his chest, and she felt his heart racing.
It was beating so hard that she feared it would break through him and attack her.
The shouts behind them began to fade as though there was still chaos from the sea; she now posed a more significant threat to the crew than the storm around them.
“Throw me back,” her voice was hoarse, the seawater disrupting her vocal cords, “please, I told them to—”
“Stop.” He cut her off, his jaw clenching.
Heat poured through her eyes then, and she felt tears brim them. “It’s okay,” her hands stayed in her lap, even if she desperately wanted to grab onto him for support, “I don’t want to hurt them. I never wanted to hurt anyone.” As she spoke, her voice only broke and became nearly inaudible.
Feeling Jayce stop, she opened her eyes to see him staring at her.
“It’s okay…” her voice a mere whisper.
“You’re right. It is.” He knelt, bringing her back to the floor.
“Jayce—” his grip was firm, and if she were to fight, there would be no escaping his hold, “If I—”
He sat her on his lap, his arms wrapped around her tightly. One of his hands rested at the back of her head, and the other around her back. His head nestled between the curve of her shoulder.
“Let me help you, please,” his words were like silk in her ear, making her hold her breath. “I’m not afraid of you.” Her head leaned against his, and she closed her eyes. “Think of something you love,” he paused briefly, “for me, it’s freshly baked bread and the sweet scent of honeydew.”
“Your favorite color is green.” She heard Kaed’s voice, “You choose the white flowers over the reds and yellows because the green pops out more in their stems. You prefer the moon over the sun. Your favorite drink is lemon water with peppermint leaves. Your favorite fruit is strawberries.” With those memories, she was a goner.
Her arms were wrapped around his head, fingers through his hair as she sobbed.
“Your greatest fear is living.”
I never wanted to live without you, Kaed.
“I love you, Red.”
I love you so much... why did you leave me…
There was nothing this world could throw at her that would hurt her like losing Kaed.
If that was the pinnacle of her pain, maybe she could come to not fear losing control. Perhaps all she needed was to be reminded that it could always be worse.
Nothing could be worse than this… losing him… absolutely nothing...
“There you go,” he said softly, his hand releasing her hair and resting at the small of her back. “I’ve got you.”
Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she felt the darkness around her fade. She didn’t need to see it to know that Jayce had pulled her from it. She clung to him, and he didn’t push her away.
The pain of hoping he truly cared shot through her, adding tremors to her unrelenting sobs.
She wanted to believe that this wasn’t all about orders to Jayce.
That it wasn’t all a facade to get close to her.
Yet, fear was stronger than the flimsy thing called hope, and it won the battle, tearing her apart.
“Please,” her voice was shaky, “don’t be lying to me. Don’t hurt me. I—” She couldn’t have imagined that he could hold her tighter, but he did. “I can’t—”
He stayed silent.
“I am so scared... I can’t take it.”
If Death wouldn’t take her, he would. The pain she would endure would be expected. There would be no tricks, no surprises, just unending agony.
At least then, hope wouldn’t be ripped away from her; it would all be gone.