Chapter 34
A
zahara was aware of their location, but that knowledge didn’t diminish the shock of being there.
Particularly as she observed Jayce completely bypassing her, weaving through the crowd.
Taking her first step, she felt a firm hand wrap around her wrist, halting her movement.
Her gaze traveled down to the hand and followed the arm, discovering it belonged to Jayce.
Whipping her head around, she caught sight of his back as he walked away, only to find him standing beside her when she turned back. “What?”
A soft laugh escaped him, and he pulled her close, his arm encircling her shoulders.
“This place exists only as a memory, so you’re seeing me nearly three hundred years ago.
” Her heart leaped to her throat. “We are in a small village at the most southern point of Zibbema, and it’s the day that I met you. ”
She turned as her eyes followed past-Jayce as he navigated through the crowd, drawing the admiration of those who watched.
He was gorgeous, she didn’t blame them, but he seemed lost. The infectious smile she had grown to cherish was absent, replaced by a persistent frown that etched his face.
It pained her to feel the sorrow that enveloped him.
“You are truly something, feeling my emotions even in my memory,” he remarked, prompting her to lift her gaze to meet his.
“You’re not smiling, it isn’t hard to see you are unhappy.” Watching him shake his head, she narrowed her eyes. “Seriously, you’re almost always smiling.”
“I wonder why,” he quipped, steering them in the direction to follow past-Jayce.
“I had just left Howl, which is a story for another time, and I was lost. This was my first time back in the mortal realm since, well—” He laughed, likely realizing he hadn’t actually mentioned his age. “Thousands of years.”
Her back straightened, and she looked up at him. “How old are you?”
“A little over six thousand years old. I was born not too long after the Reshaping.”
Nothing could have prepared her to hear that. She had been expecting him to be maybe a thousand years old. Although she hadn’t gotten the best view of his wings, they were substantial. That was what led her to believe he was old, but not that old.
“Is that a problem?” he asked, a playful grin on his face. “I think I’m pretty spry for someone that old.” She swatted his chest, and he gasped.
“It isn’t a problem, I’m just... taken aback a bit.
My goodness.” Her head dropped, contemplating everything he had witnessed and the stories he held.
The reminder of Xol’s comment about his firsthand experience with Ilkiz lingered, and she knew she’d be pestering him about that later.
“I like older men; it’s fine,” she added with a laugh.
He kissed her head, joining in her laughter. “Silly—let’s get back to it. I’m about to run into you.”
She turned her head quickly, easily spotting past-Jayce. “As I was saying, I felt lost, not really sure what I was supposed to be doing with my life, and at a breaking point. Until I saw you, selling bread as though it was your duty in life.”
In an instant, the two of them stood just feet from past-Jayce, and to their right, past-Azahara. She looked unchanged, save for slightly shorter hair. She wiped her hands on the apron around her waist, smiling and waving at a couple who had just purchased a loaf from her.
“I nearly died when I saw you, and while I could attest it was because of how beautiful you are, my damn soul was ready to leave me high and dry,” he chuckled, though she could sense the pain beneath his furrowed brows.
“I didn’t want bread, but damn it if I wasn’t going to talk with you.
This beautiful human, who had stolen my breath and almost my soul, in that moment, you were the sunshine to my endless nights. ”
“Hello!” Past-Azahara said with a wide smile, and past-Jayce stepped forward. “Would you like a loaf or just a few slices?”
“I—uh—” He stumbled over his words, “I’m Jayce.” His hand was extending towards her, and she looked down at it.
She placed her hand into his, and smiled, “I’m Aza, loaf or slice?”
“You didn’t care who I was, and when your soul didn’t react as mine did, I knew then that it had to have been just a feeling in the wind.
So, I bought your bread and left.” Stepping them back, they vanished from the scene, descending into the night.
Clouds filled the sky, threatening rain, and the once bustling village now lay at rest.
“Of course, not for long. You stayed on my mind the entire day, and I had gone back at least six times.” Jayce laughed at himself, but her heart ached, and she couldn’t quite pinpoint why.
“After almost walking away from the village several times, I had concluded that I would just ask you out on a date. What was the worst thing you could do, say no?” His grip on her shoulder never wavered, his hand gently rubbing her arm.
“So I came back through, looking for you.”
She could hear it in his voice, the downturn in his joy, and she sensed what was coming. “I remember this night,” she said, her voice low.
“I knew you would when you saw it.” He pulled her to his chest, his hand cradling the back of her head. “You don’t have to look. I can tell you this part without you seeing it.”
“Wait—” She responded so quickly his expression jumped in surprise. “I want—I need to see. I’m fine.”
His hand delicately brushed the single strand of loose hair behind her ear, and he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “While it is sad now, it’s probably my favorite story I’ll ever tell.” He turned her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.
Spotting a figure in the distance, confirmed to be past-Jayce, running from the town square up the hill and out towards the fields, he shifted them closer.
“I had come back looking for you, but you’d already closed up shop.
I was ready to knock on every door to find you when I smelled copper in the air.
There was so much of it, it was nearly blinding.
I didn’t know it was you right away, but something told me that I needed to check whoever it was and see if they needed help.
“When I approached, your curly red hair was what came into view first. I didn’t know pain until then, and I’ve fought in battles where I’d lost limbs and nearly died.
But this, no, this was not pain; it was agony.
My entire body, spirit, and soul were in writhing agony, and I had only just met you.
Seeing you there, on the brink of death, it tore at my reality. ”
She watched past-Jayce then, falling to his knees and gripping his chest.
“Though I may have been able to save you, I wasn’t sure.
You were so close to death then, and I knew too much about fate to intervene.
So, I watched you, I suffered through it, and as your hand raised towards the sky, I wanted to take it into mine and hold it till you found peace.
” His voice was raw, and even though she stood there right in front of him, reliving this moment hurt him.
The grip he had on her was beyond strength but pure need.
Even then, he was afraid she would disappear, never to be seen again.
“I was reaching for the sky,” she said, realization hitting her like a horse pulling a wagon, “and then—”
“I parted the clouds because that was what you were telling me you wanted. You wanted to see the stars in your final moments.” She was crying, and there was no holding them back.
“Then, I pulled a star for you, dropping it just low enough so that you could feel as though it were coming right at you.”
Her mouth was open, and she was sobbing; pure, unhindered tears that fell like a waterfall down her cheeks.
“And then, your heart stopped, and so did mine.” He held her up, her body curling into itself like she was crumbling to nothing.
The memory of that moment was vivid, leading to her changing her name because she felt it was meant to be.
While there was no memory of Jayce she could see, this moment lived on within her books and memories as one of the single happiest, even if driven from the darkness.
In that moment, he had become a part of her life without either of them realizing it.
“I left immediately after, unable to see you like that and not knowing if you had family or friends that would come for you.” He pulled her up, kneeling down onto the ground, his arms tucking under her legs and setting her in his lap.
“Truthfully, I didn’t know what to feel.
Your soul didn’t call to mine, but it felt like I had lost my own, so I wandered.
For nearly three hundred years; well, two-hundred, and ninety-five to be exact. ”
He brushed her cheek, and she looked up at him. “Jayce…”
“It’s okay, Sunshine. You can imagine how I felt when I heard Alyse call you Starfall, and when you confirmed my suspicions, I could have cried right then.” He was gentle, caressing her cheek with his hand, brushing away the tears.
After a few minutes, she took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. I’ve had many years to come to terms with that moment. You’ve had seconds.” He leaned in and kissed her closed eyes one by one. “You okay to move forward?”
All she needed to do was nod, and they shifted to another point in time. They were in the Kingdom, and she recognized the square as though it were yesterday.
“I ended up joining the Order but found myself rising to Commander with the White Cloaks quickly. I had no real desire to be there, but I didn’t have much else to do with my time.
I had fought in wars, had my fair share of lovers, both in men and women,” she wasn’t surprised; the subtle but not-so-subtle indications of his preference in partners was never hidden.
That honestly made her more attracted to him.
—and was just bored. It was the best way to consume my time.