Chapter 34 #4
She shook her head, “Illyan lied about sending us through the wether to the nearest Outpost, and instead sent us to Helgum. Jaakobai, before the Rite, told them that the wings of Helio were likely there. They were convinced bringing them back would clear not only their name, but mine.”
“You never needed to clear anything up, that piece of shit conned his father into believing you were using black Magic to get yourself there.” His anger radiated around him, and its raw strength was something that sent bumps up her arms. This was merely in his mind, too; imagining what it would feel like in the real world was thrilling.
She never stepped away from him, feeling the dark purple aura around him consume over her like a blanket.
“When I felt you in Howl, Azahara, I did lose it. I was in So’ol instantly, and let’s just say, it isn’t in the same geological location as it was before.”
She swallowed.
“Putting my Magic in you was the best thing I could have done. Being banished from Howl, I couldn’t send any Magic in or out, even using the winnox was risky.
With everyone on high alert because of you, and the loss of their Magic, it was not a good time.
Thankfully, the prisoner known as Sam,” he winked, “is a dear friend of mine.
When he sensed my Magic in you, he reached out, and allowed me the privilege of his vessel to see you and try to protect you.
“He was too weak to break you out, so I merely spoke with you, but when I saw you, Sunshine, I knew that Howl was going to suffer. I didn’t care that I had friends there.
What they did to you, it would not go unpunished.
” She felt his heart slow, and that anger turned to rage.
“When Jaakobai took you, and I couldn’t see you, I went to find the Yuul.
It hadn’t been hard because who did I find fighting it? ”
“Zhal and Kaed.” She answered, even if she didn’t need to.
“They subdued the Yuul, with a little bit of assistance, and I spoke through its mind. Gave it the image of a beautiful redhead that needed to be saved, your scent and name, with the promise when they were done, I would allow them their feast and safe passage back to the mortal realm.” Jayce had knowingly killed his kind for her, and she felt the weight of that.
“Were you the one in my cell?” She quickly asked before that same pain raptured her again. “When you said—”
“I want to take you away from this place, but I can’t. Yes, I had broken the law for a mere moment of weakness, but in the chaos they would never know.”
“Why didn’t you take me away then?”
“Because you would have hated me, and you needed Kaed, Illyan, and Zhal. Not me. Not Sam. Them.” He was intimately linked with her emotions even before their souls connected.
“Then, you were in Helgum, and I couldn’t go there without completely exposing myself.
There was also a damn Fae ward around you for some time, and I nearly lost it again.
It was like the Mother was testing me, telling me I had made mistake after mistake when it came to you. ”
He laughed without humor, “If I were human, I’d have had wrinkles and gray hairs from all this.”
Drawing his hand from her temple down to her jaw, he released a soft sigh, “I watched everything else unfold from afar, all without being too far. I wanted to be by your side, and I hate myself for making the wrong decisions every time.”
As she took a deep breath they shifted once more. “I should have taken you away in this moment,” He moved her to stand beside him, placing his hand at the back of her neck, leaning her against his arm. Her arm snaked around his waist, curving into his embrace.
Past-Jayce stood concealed behind a tree, just outside the Outpost, and she sensed it was the night preceding the Battle of Sunfall.
The perpetual tension in the air was etched into her memory.
In the distance, Karver and past-Azahara approached, and she could discern the rhythm of his heartbeat.
As Karver tried to offer words of solace, a forced smile adorned his lips, but the agony etched across his face was unmistakable.
His magnificent raven wings were unruly, quivering as though he were cold.
“My entire body was out of control, terrified for you, that I was unable to keep my Magic in check. It was why I couldn’t allow for you to see me.
” He pressed his lips against the top of her head.
“Karver told me where you two would be, and I had only come to see you, not talk. Except, I’m completely weak for you.
My need to hear you speak to me was far greater than I could fight. ”
“You are pretty bad at that, you know, metaphors, Officer Cross.” His hand trembled against the tree, looking at past-Azahara, who jumped up. The conversation was muted from there, but she watched as past-Jayce smiled when she spoke to him.
“At this moment, when you placed your hand on the tree, I sent my Magic through to caress you. I wanted nothing more than to take you into my arms and ensure your safety. To tell you how much I loved you.” She looked up at him, the gloss over his eyes threatened to expose just how painful this moment had been for him.
“Karver knew how hard I was fighting myself, so he returned quickly to get you.”
The breeze caught past-Azahara’s hair, swirling it around her face. It dawned on her that it was caused by him. Past-Jayce was twirling his fingers, conjuring a gust of wind with his Magic, reveling in the smile that graced her features.
“My soul was ready to tear me apart for not keeping you. It was agonizing, watching you walk away. I swore I had a dagger through my own heart then.”
She stepped in front of him, “Jayce...” her voice a whisper as she placed her hands against his chest, “You speak of my strength but completely ignore your own. You knew what I needed and sacrificed so much to give it to me. By the Mother, I don’t think I could have done it.”
She enveloped him in her arms, drawing him close.
He obliged and cupping his hand behind her head and placing a tender kiss on the top of it.
Gradually, the surroundings faded away, and the scent of the sea returned to her senses.
They were emerging from his memory, and she could feel her back firmly against something.
“You made me strong, watching you fight so hard for the ones you loved constantly. Never giving up even though I knew how badly you wanted to. But, even as strong as you were, I was done not being by your side.” His words hung in the air, and as her eyes blinked, she found herself back on the ship, lying on the wooden planks, gazing up into his illuminated hazel eyes.
“It was why when Jaakobai and the King were ready to send the Fae army after you, I volunteered to get you myself.
I had done enough to protect you from the backline, and now it was my turn to fight beside you.
Except, I still somehow allowed Goddrick to get a hold of you.
I was trying to play it all by the books, trying not to start a war with myself, the mortal King, and the Fae.
“That was stupid because I would destroy this world for you. I’d protect the ones you wanted but burn the rest for ever harming my girl.” His forehead pressed against hers, lifting her from the floor.
Seated on his knees, she wrapped her arms around his neck, her legs mirroring the same action around his hips. “I promise you, from this day forward, I’ll never leave your side unless you tell me to. I’ve made enough mistakes to last a lifetime, but no more.”
One of his hands rested against her hip while the other gently held the side of her neck, “Now you know everything. Do I still need to beg for forgiveness?”
Pure wonder filled her eyes as she gazed at him, and a soft laugh escaped her, though it was accompanied by a gentle sob. “No, you don’t.” Sensing his hand at her hip move up her back, traversing the Connection to her neck, she bit gently at her bottom lip.
“I love you, Azahara, and will do so for the remainder of my days, from this life to the next.” His eyes remained locked onto hers, and she could sense the depth of his emotions in his declaration.
“I will stand with you but never in your way. You choose your life, and I only ask to be a part of it. In whatever way you wish, it is just that. Yours. I am yours.”
A peculiar sensation enveloped her, as if her soul had discovered solace and could finally find rest. In that moment, if Death finally decided to take her, she felt she would be at peace.
It would have been a satisfying way to go, cradled in his embrace, experiencing absolute love without compromise.
She had always been his priority, above all else.
She had never stopped smiling, but somehow, it grew even wider as she molded her body against his. “I love you, Jayce, with all of my being. I want to give you my all and make you as safe and happy as you’ve made me.”
The space between them vanished, and his lips met hers. This kiss was a fusion of passion and yearning, coursing through her to the core. Previous kisses had been amazing, but this one transcended realms. Ecstasy lifted her entire body, and for a moment, she feared she might float away.
Yet, that fear was unfounded because Jayce held her tightly, anchoring her to him and to this existence. For the first time, she truly felt safe.
Jayce was everything she needed and wanted, and she knew that if she were to ever fall, he would fall with her. There was no duty or call he would answer that wasn’t for her. She was his world, and she would give it to him without hesitation or constraint.