Chapter 30
CHAPTER THIRTY
hayden
PRESENT DAY
Nearly two weeks had passed since Sierra and I almost kissed on our drive back from Oregon. We didn’t go home, having to simply pass through on our way to North Dakota for another multi-day rodeo.
The week in North Dakota was even less eventful than Pendleton, with zero suspicious activity around our equipment, trailers, and vehicles, giving me the hope I needed that we were in the clear. I didn’t have to chase anyone down, and Sierra swept her events.
Luckily, we’d have two weeks before our final rodeo event in Billings, concluding the season until the NFR in December. Two weeks to breathe and hopefully get some well-earned relaxation.
“Morning,” I greeted Sierra as she walked out of her room, her hair pulled up into a messy bun and a slouchy T-shirt hanging off her shoulder.
She narrowed her eyes at me. “Why are you so cheery this morning?”
“It looks nice outside. Thought I’d see if you wanted to take Peanut and Lucky out for a ride?”
“Caffeine first,” she muttered as she beelined it for the kitchen. Little did she know, I’d already brewed a cup for her—adding all her fixings to it—when I heard her stir in her room, knowing she wasn’t much of a morning person. “Did you make this?”
“Yeah.” I shrugged. “It’s no big deal. I was already making my own, so I made you a cup too.”
“It’s like boiling hot,” she said with a deadpan expression. “What time did you get up?”
“About forty-five minutes ago.” I couldn’t lie to her, and she was already onto me as it was.
“You made me this cup, this piping cup of coffee, forty-five minutes ago?”
Rolling my eyes, I admitted the truth. “No, I made it when I heard you get up. You can be quite grumpy in the mornings, you know.”
Expecting her to fire back with some witty comment, I suppressed a grin, but she just mumbled something that sounded a lot like, “Well, thanks,” before grabbing the mug and joining me on the couch.
“Do you have any plans for the day?” I asked, flicking on the TV to a channel that was playing some old Western movie.
She shook her head, taking a small sip of coffee. “Not really, besides going riding now. I think it’d be good for Lucky.”
“I thought so, too. And you haven’t really had an opportunity to see much of the area, besides that one day we went fishing,” I added.
“Is there really that much to see?” she teased, evidently beginning to warm up after getting some caffeine in her system.
“You’d be surprised. It’s not Gulch County, but the landscape is pretty, even if it’s mostly flatland.”
She hummed in acknowledgment, downing the rest of her coffee before getting up to set the mug in the dishwasher.
Looking over her shoulder, she said, “Let me get changed, and then we can head out.”
I exercised as much willpower as I could to not watch her hips sway as she disappeared down the hall into her room.
When Sierra reemerged, her hair was tied back into a braid. She still had her oversized T-shirt on, but instead of shorts, she was wearing a pair of Kimes.
“What are you staring at?” She looked down at her shirt then back up. “Do I have coffee on my shirt or something?”
I shook my head, unable to help the smile pulling at my cheeks. “No, you’re perfect, Skip.”
We got the horses tacked and pointed them toward the hilly area behind the house. Most of the property I lived on was flat, but there was a little bit of variety in the landscape to the east.
“Are you happy here?” Sierra asked as we rode toward the hills east of the house.
“I am,” I admitted. “Like I said, it’s different from Goldfinch, but it’s different in a good way. It’s quiet out here. Peaceful. I think…” I paused, turning my head toward her. “I think you’d really grow to love this place if you stayed here.”
“Maybe.” She gazed out toward the horizon, not making eye contact with me. I could have been wrong, but I thought I noticed her eyes glass over.
“Where do you think you’ll go once the season ends?”
She tilted her head to the side. “I’m not sure.”
I wasn’t sure what I hoped she’d say. Part of me wanted her to stay here with me, but the other part knew that Sierra would go wherever the wind took her.
She was independent, fiercely so. She always had been, and I would never hope to tame her or reel her in.
I just hoped one day the wind would blow her back to me and she’d realize that she didn’t have to carry all her burdens alone.
“Do you ever worry about what happens once you’ve achieved everything you’ve wanted?” Her question interrupted my swirling thoughts.
“What do you mean?”
“Is there a limit to what you can do? A limit to dreaming, to hoping?”
An odd sense of calm washed over me, and I shook my head.
“I don’t think so. I think dreams give us hope, and hope makes us stronger, able to endure difficult things.
We’ll always encounter challenges. That’s just life.
It’s unpredictable. But having dreams and goals gives us the will to keep going, even when it’s hard.
Especially when it’s hard.” My eyes couldn’t help but be drawn to her.
All I wanted was for her to look back at me, too.
A silence fell over us, save for the hooves clomping against the ground.
“You’re right,” she finally spoke again, her voice a bit melancholic.
“I guess I’m just not sure what’s next. If I make it to the NFR, my dream since I was a kid, what’s next?
What else do I have to look forward to, to work toward?
” A humorless laugh escaped her. “I don’t know, I’m just rambling. It’s stupid. Ignore me.”
“What you’re saying isn’t stupid.”
She snapped her head toward me, her emerald gaze holding mine.
“I think it’s normal not to have everything figured out. You don’t always have to be achieving things either. Maybe your next dream is to just live.”
From what I knew about Sierra, most of her childhood had been spent just trying to survive.
Her teeth gnawed on her bottom lip. “Live.” Eyes averting to the ground, she hung her head a little. “Yeah, that sounds like a pretty good dream.”
A soft breeze tickled the back of my neck, a flock of birds soaring overhead. But what got my attention was a butterfly with orange wings fluttering on the wind across our field of vision.
“I think the universe agrees.” I pointed out the butterfly. “That’s a good sign right there, if I’ve ever seen one.”
Sierra’s eyes flicked up, and her lips curled into a lopsided smile. “Should we go back?”
I nodded, turning Peanut around. “Wanna race?”
A glint of mischief sparkled in her eyes. “You sure you’re up for that challenge?”
“Always.” Before she could respond, Peanut and I took off, speeding up into a trot, then a canter.
“Hey!” Sierra yelled behind us. “That’s cheating!”
A deep laugh rose from my chest as I looked over my shoulder. “You’re one of the best barrel racers in the world. I’m sure you’ll catch up!”
When we got back to the house, I immediately hopped in the shower. We weren’t outside for very long, but my body still felt like it was covered in grime and sweat.
The hot water rained down on my skin, providing much-needed relief in my aching muscles. Steam circled in the air around me, and I reached for the eucalyptus-scented body wash I’d found at the grocery store, not wanting to touch Sierra’s fancy stuff.
I tried not to think about her as I lathered my skin in soap. It had been a long time since I’d been with anyone—five years to be exact—but that didn’t mean I didn’t torture myself over Sierra on the nights my resolve was weak and her lavender scent filled my nostrils like a phantom sense.
The guys had tried to set me up with girls before and had asked me why I didn’t seem interested in women at the bars.
The thought of being with someone else—of baring my soul to anyone but Sierra—just hadn’t crossed my mind.
Plus, during the very seldom times someone managed to get close, it was like my mind was wired to think about Sierra and Sierra alone.
That kind of thing isn’t fair to anyone, no matter which way you try to frame it.
I wasn’t capable of shutting my brain off for the sake of getting laid, even if that meant it was going to be me and my hand for the rest of my life.
After letting the spray wash over me for a few more minutes, I turned off the tap and stepped out of the shower, reaching for my towel on the hook it usually hung on. Except my fingers only grasped the air.
“Shit.” I opened the cabinet under the sink, hoping an extra towel was in there, but I came up short. Water dripped down my body, pooling onto the bathmat.
I didn’t think Sierra was in the house because I was pretty sure I heard the front door shut before I hopped in the shower. I hadn’t heard her bedroom door open or close in the last fifteen minutes at least.
I weighed my options. My phone was charging in my room, so I couldn’t send Sierra a text to ask her to grab me a towel.
I could yell for her, but it was unlikely she was back in the house, so that wasn’t an option either.
I could also just run into my room from the bathroom to dry off in there.
It would only take a couple seconds since the bathroom was literally two steps away.
That was really my only option, unless I wanted to stand in the bathroom and air dry, which I did not want to do.
For good measure, I pressed my ear against the door.
Silent as a mouse. The only noise I could pick up was the hum of the air conditioning and maybe the jingle of Pancho’s collar in Sierra’s room.
She generally left him in there with the door closed when she ran errands, so I assumed he was just scratching his ears.
I took a deep breath, for some reason needing to hype myself up to walk around the corner naked.
This is fine. It’s my house, and no one is here right now.
Twisting the door handle, I opened the door.
To my surprise—and hers—Sierra was not actually outside. She was in the house. In the hallway. Directly in front of the bathroom door.
“Oh my God!” she shrieked, covering her eyes with both hands, her cheeks already flaming. “I am so sorry!”
As embarrassing as the whole situation was, I didn’t miss the way her eyes flicked down and back up in the millisecond before she realized what was happening.
My hands flew to cover my crotch, water droplets still clinging to my chest and dripping off the ends of my hair. “No, I’m sorry. I thought you were outside. I, uh, didn’t have any towels in the bathroom.”
She was still covering her eyes as she turned away from me, toward her bedroom. “It’s okay. It’s your house. You’re allowed to walk around naked if you want to.” She opened her door, stepping inside while repeatedly muttering, “Oh my God,” before slamming the door.
I chuckled a little at her reaction, despite it being a completely valid one. Wanting to tease her a little, I called out, “Nothing you haven’t seen before, Skip!” then headed into my own room to grab a damn towel.
I immediately sent her a text once I was safely in my room.
Jokes aside, I really am sorry, Sierra.
Won’t happen again.
She sent back a thumbs-up reaction, and I squeezed my eyes in a grimace.
Well, that could have gone ten times better.