Chapter 33
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
hayden
NOVEMBER, JUNIOR YEAR
My hands fidgeted as I waited for Sierra in our usual booth at Ranger’s. Ever since her dad got arrested again, it felt like a rift had formed between us.
Since the day I asked her if she was okay and confronted her about avoiding me, it seemed like she’d made even more of an effort to stay away. I tried not to let it bother me, but the truth was it felt like a thousand nails were being driven into my chest with a hammer.
Here. In our usual booth
Sierra
I’m almost there
“Can I get you started with something to drink, Hayden?” Susannah stopped at the table.
“One regular Coke and one cherry Coke, please,” I replied. “Sierra should be here soon. Can you add some extra Maraschino cherries for her?”
“Of course, dearie. I’ll have those right out for you kids!” She disappeared into the back, whistling a cheery tune as she went.
The bells on the front door jingled shortly after, and my head snapped up to see if it was Sierra. Unfortunately, it was just Clyde, one of the older gentlemen who always ate lunch here. I should have known. It was eleven forty-five on the dot, and Clyde was always punctual.
I tapped my fingers against the wood-grain table, impatiently waiting for Sierra to show up. She would show up.
“Here’s those drinks.” Susannah placed the glasses of soda and a couple of straws in front of me. “Should we wait for her to get here, or do you want to put in some food?”
“I’ll wait. Thanks, Sues.”
After putting my straw in my drink, I flattened the wrapper, folding it up before unfolding and folding it again.
Finally, after another ten agonizing minutes, Sierra walked through the front door.
She huffed out a breath as she sat down. “Sorry I’m late.”
“It’s okay.”
Sierra leaned back on her side of the booth with her shoulders slumped, her eyes heavy with dark circles under them.
“How are you?” I asked a bit cautiously.
“I’m fine.” She plunged her straw into her drink, taking a long sip. “Thanks for getting me a drink.”
“Sues put extra cherries in there for you.”
That put a smile on her face, even if it was small and appeared as though she was trying to suppress it.
“Hey, do you want to come over later? We’ve been training Peanut Butter and trying to desensitize her to different things.” My shoulders shook with a silent laugh as I thought about the things we’d been using in the training process.
“Oh, I don’t know.” She wouldn’t make eye contact with me, choosing to stare at the ice in her glass instead. “Do your parents really want someone like me to come over?”
“What do you mean? My parents love you, Skip,” I offered some words of reassurance, hoping it would ease her concerns.
She grumbled something under her breath, but I couldn’t quite pick up what it was.
“Sorry?”
She rolled her eyes, and my heart cracked a little at the words that came from her mouth.
“I don’t want people to talk about you like they have been talking about me.
Hanging out with me would just ruin your reputation.
I’m sure your parents don’t want you to be spending time with the kid of a criminal. ”
“What happened to you wasn’t your fault,” I whispered, reaching across the table to squeeze her hand.
She pulled it away, setting it in her lap. “You don’t know that. You have no idea what happened. You weren’t there.”
I know enough.
“I know you, Sierra. You’re a good person.”
She let out a harsh exhale through her nose. “If I come over, will you stop talking about it?”
I nodded, even though she was the one who brought it up to begin with. I was just eager and willing to do anything it took to have my best friend back. “Of course. We can talk about whatever you want.”
“Okay, I can come over for a little bit.” Taking a sip of her drink, she made eye contact with me. “I missed you.”
My heart lurched in my chest. “I missed you, too, Skip. Keenan and I haven’t been the same without you around.”
She clicked her tongue. “I’m sure Keenan has been just fine.”
“Yeah, he’s been hanging out with Ivy a lot more than he’s been hanging out with me. I guess I’ve just not been the same without you.”
“Sorry about that,” she mumbled.
I shrugged. “It’s all good now, right?”
“Yeah. Everything’s good now.”
“Mom, I’m back! Sierra’s with me!” I called out when we walked into the entryway.
Mom rounded the corner to greet us. “Sierra! It’s so good to see you, dear.”
She reached out to pull Sierra into a hug. Sierra’s brows pinched together, the corners of her lips falling, but she wrapped her arms around Mom, welcoming the embrace.
“Do you want some cookies? I just made a fresh batch of the peanut butter ones you love so much.” Mom led us around the corner into the kitchen, the sugary-sweet smell of baking permeating through the air.
Sierra and I both slid onto stools at the counter, and Mom passed us the tray of cookies.
“Is Dad outside with the horses?” I asked through a mouthful of cookie.
“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Mom chided before answering my question with a nod. “But yes, he’s outside.”
“We’re going to go see what he’s doing, right, Sierra?” I wiggled my brows. “I told Sierra that we’ve been desensitizing Peanut Butter to different things, and it’s really funny.”
“Okay, well, just make sure you’re not in the way.”
“We will!” I grabbed Sierra’s hand with one of mine and a couple more cookies with the other, then pulled her toward the front door.
Dad was in one of the round pens when we got outside. He had a lead rope around Peanut Butter and was holding it in the hand that didn’t have the umbrella.
“What’s he doing with that?” Sierra asked, gesturing to the umbrella. “I’ve never seen anyone do anything like this with a horse. Not even at my grandparents’ place.”
“He’s desensitizing her to ‘scary’ objects.” I put quotes around scary. “Yesterday he was out here with a plastic bag.”
“That’s scary?” She laughed like she didn’t quite believe me.
“Yeah, didn’t you know? Horses are scared of everything that moves but are also scared of everything that doesn’t move.” I grinned, heading toward the fence.
“Buttercup’s never been scared of anything,” she commented.
“Yeah, that’s because she’s been desensitized to just about anything. She still gets scared, but her reactions are much more contained,” I explained. “Watch when my dad opens the umbrella.”
Dad stood a few feet away from Peanut, and he slowly opened the umbrella. She spooked a little, jerking her head away, but then calmed. He closed the umbrella and gave her a few encouraging pats. Eventually, as he repeated the motion, she reacted less and less, becoming bored with the object.
“See, he’s introducing foreign objects to her and building her confidence. It’ll prevent her from spooking or bolting later when she has a rider. The last thing we want is someone getting bucked off because she got scared by her own shadow.”
Sierra snorted but leaned forward on the fence, resting her arms on the top panel.
“Hey, you two.” Dad must have noticed us watching, and he approached the fence. “What are you doing out here?”
“I wanted to show Sierra what you were doing. The umbrella thing is kinda funny.”
Dad chuckled. “Yeah, it’s a little silly, but important. How was Ranger’s?”
“It was good!” I replied.
Sierra had been quiet since my dad walked over.
If Dad noticed, he didn’t say anything, but his eyes flicked down to her face, and his mouth flattened into a subtle frown. It was gone in an instant, though, as his gaze caught on our bare arms. Neither of us put on a coat when we came outside, even though it was starting to get chilly.
“You better get back inside before you catch a cold.” He clicked his tongue.
I waved him off. “We’re fine, Dad. I never wear a coat in the winter.”
Giving me a more stern look, he pointed to the house. “Go.”
“I should really be getting home anyway,” Sierra mumbled, her boot scraping circles on the hard ground.
“All right,” I grumbled, leading her back inside.
I didn’t want Sierra to go back to that house. Not tonight, not ever. I wished she could live here with me, with a family who cared about her like mine did.
When we were back in the living room, she grabbed her coat, and I grabbed my keys to drive her back into town.
“Sierra, dear?” Mom stopped her on the way out.
“What’s up, Mae?” She looked over her shoulder, a soft smile on her face.
“We’re going to have a big Thanksgiving feast. You’re more than welcome to join us if you’d like.”
Shadows fell over Sierra’s face, and sadness crept into her eyes, though it looked like she was trying to mask it. “I’ll ask my mom. Thank you for the invite.”
My phone buzzed as I was crawling into bed that night.
Sierra
I talked to my mom about Thanksgiving
And?
Sierra
She said it wouldn’t be a good idea.
We’re doing Thanksgiving at home with him
Oh
Sierra
Yeah, so basically we’re going to walk around on eggshells all day and hope he doesn’t lash out at us
I can’t even pretend like I’m working that night and come over anyway. My boss doesn’t let me work holidays and they both know that
I’m so frustrated
I know and I’m sorry. I wish there was something I could do.
Sierra
I just wish she’d think about me for once and not him
The moment I graduate and turn 18 I’m gone. I’m getting out of here with or without her.
I just hope that nothing happens before then
Do you think something will?
Sierra
I don’t know.
Three little dots appeared then disappeared then appeared again.
Sierra
Hayden?
Yeah?
Sierra
You can’t tell anyone about this conversation
Please don’t tell anyone
My heart felt like it was snapping in my chest. I didn’t want to break Sierra’s trust by telling my dad about what she said, but at the same time, I couldn’t shake the thought of something happening to her if I didn’t.
I was supposed to look out for the people I cared about. My dad always said I was a good kid; I was strong, knew right from wrong, and I could help lots of people. I had the power to keep them safe.
But how was I supposed to help Sierra when either option could end in her leaving?