Chapter 39
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
sierra
Deep breaths, Sierra.” I gave myself a pep talk.
I’d find out today if I made it in the top fifteen in the world standings.
If I made it to the NFR and achieved my life-long dream.
“If you don’t make it, there’s always next year.
” I splashed some cold water on my face and looked at my reflection.
Water trickled down my skin and my eyes looked tired, dark splotches forming half-moons under them, but I was still alive.
“You ready?” Hayden asked when I finally came out of the bathroom.
I took a seat next to him on the couch, folding my legs underneath myself. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”
Externally, I looked cool, calm, and collected. The image of confidence. Internally, my heart was threatening to burst out of my chest. Not to mention, my palms grew sweatier by the minute.
“Do you want me to look first?” Hayden asked, squeezing my shoulder in an attempt to ground me. He already knew that he and Keenan weren’t going to make it this year. They were too far down in the standings that making it in the top fifteen wasn’t realistic.
I shook my head. “No, I just want to get it over with.”
“I’ve got you, Skip.” He kept his hand on my shoulder as I typed in the world standings list. “I’m right here no matter what happens.”
Closing my eyes, I tapped the link. From beside me, Hayden drew in a breath, and my heart dropped.
Is that a good breath or a bad one?
I opened my eyes, expecting the worst.
14. Sierra Bayley, Goldfinch, MT, $159,234.89
I dropped my face into my hands, tears stinging the back of my eyes. “Oh my God. I did it.”
Hayden alternated between rubbing circles on my back and squeezing my waist, pulling me close to his side. “You did it, Skip. You made it.”
I picked up my head, jutting my bottom lip out slightly. Hayden’s eyes were misty, and I could feel the tears trickling down my cheeks, but he pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. Although it wasn’t stifling or constrictive. Instead it was full of pride.
“I’m going to Las Vegas!” I exclaimed once the reality of it all really set in. “I’m going to be competing at the NFR! Oh my God, I could kiss you right now!” My eyes widened at the realization of what I just said. “I-I didn’t mean—”
Before I could finish my sentence, Hayden’s hands were cupping my cheeks, heat radiating off them. But instead of pressing his lips to mine, like I so desperately wanted him to despite my backtracking, he placed a gentle kiss on my forehead.
His lips were soft and warm, and my stomach did backflips at the subtle gesture of affection.
Grinning, he pulled back. “You fucking did it, Sierra. You’re going to the NFR.”
Hayden’s phone rang and he mumbled something—an apology, maybe—before answering. “Hello?”
A pause.
“Yep, we just looked.” He shot me a wink. “No, that’s okay. I didn’t expect to. But yeah, she’s…she’s ecstatic. And I’m so proud of her.”
A muffled voice on the other end of the line kept going on, but I couldn’t pinpoint who it was.
“All right, we’ll see you later. Bye, guys.” He hung up the phone. “Sorry, that was Colter and Ellison. They wanted to tell you congratulations. And we’re all going out to Rudy’s to celebrate later.”
I nodded, the shock of it all still buried deep in my bones. I stared at the standings on my phone for a while longer, both wanting the moment to really sink in and waiting for the numbers to change. Like it was all a fluke and there was a mistake.
But no, it was real. Everything I’d worked for, everything I’d dreamed about, had finally come true.
“I’m so proud of you.” Hayden pulled me into his chest, resting his head on top of mine. We sat there like that for a while, our breathing matched and heartbeats synching.
“Are you upset that I made it to the NFR but you didn’t?” I asked once the high had worn off. “You worked hard for it this year, too.”
Hayden shook his head, wrapping me into his arms. “No, Sierra, never,” he whispered in my ear before pulling back to look down into my eyes. “This is your dream. This has always been your dream. Watching it come true for you is more than enough for me.”
“Are you sure?” I hated the way my voice sounded—small, meek.
“Yeah. Always.”
I broke free from his embrace, standing a little too quickly. “I-I’m going to go take a shower.” Unable to make eye contact with him, I rounded the couch and headed in the direction of the bathroom.
“Hey, Sierra?”
I glanced over my shoulder. Hayden had followed me and was standing at the end of the hallway. Turning around, I crossed my arms over my chest. “Yeah?”
“I love you.” Hayden blurted it out like it was a secret he’d been keeping all these months. “I-I never stopped.”
My mouth gaped, opening and closing, but no words came out. My arms came uncrossed and fell to my sides.
Hayden walked down the hallway to meet me, grasping my hands in his, both our palms aflame. “You don’t have to say it back, Skip. It’s okay. I just needed you to know that no matter what happens, I love you, and I see you, and I’m so fucking proud of you, okay?”
I love you, too, but that’s what I’m afraid of.
Life wasn’t kind to me—never had been—and fate always seemed to take away the things I loved.