Chapter 18
Josh
The first-class lounge of an airport is the same in every country. Heavy leather sofas, elegant lines, subdued colors. Here in Dublin, it's a mix of dark green and cream. A faint coffee scent hangs in the air, and the laptops of the businessmen around us are humming.
Tamika is also busy flipping through her calendar. "I've arranged a hairdresser's appointment for you tomorrow at ten o'clock, at one thirty we're doing new promo photos. Then there's also a double session of physiotherapy on the schedule."
I nod absentmindedly. "Alright," I say even though I wasn't really listening to her. Because not only my thoughts but also my glances keep wandering over to Maya and Sophia.
They have just made themselves comfortable in the massage chairs and are being shaken through. Maya's eyes are closed. A content expression lies on her face.
She seems as free as I would like to feel.
"Also, your parents announced they're coming on Sunday," Tamika says.
My parents? Both of them? Great. That's exactly what I need after the canceled concerts. I can already imagine how the meeting will go today. Sighing, I let my gaze wander back to the massage chairs, where the world seems to be wonderfully simple .
"They're coming for lunch. I told them that you're only available until four o'clock. Afterward, we have a strategy meeting with Ralf." Suddenly, a hand lands on my forearm. "Josh. Are you even listening to me?"
"Mm-hmm." I don't want to give her more because everything she says destroys the feeling in me that emerged for the first time in a long time during our beach outing yesterday.
Thanks to the woman over there in the bright pink glitter shirt. The one whose dark eyes glow in a magical way whenever she spends time with Sophia.
Yesterday at the beach, she looked at me with that glow too. The usually so dark depth in her gaze disappeared. And for a moment, she gave me the feeling of being one of those miracles she talked about although I didn't do anything special. I was just being me.
The memory makes warmth rise in me.
"Why are you grinning so stupidly?" Tamika asks in a razor-sharp tone.
Feeling guilty, I turn away from Maya. "So my parents are coming to visit," I say because it's the only thing I can remember. "When should I expect them?"
A strained sigh leaves her perfectly made-up lips. "For lunch." She fixes me with her gaze. "Please concentrate. This is important." Her deeply red-lacquered fingernail taps on the appointment planner.
"Is this what an earthquake feels like?" Sophia asks in the distance.
"An earthquake? No. This is what it feels like!" I can tell from Maya's tone alone that she's about to burst into loud laughter. Indeed, not a second later, I hear her and Sophia burst out laughing. I can't help but sneak another look at them. Maya has started a tickling attack on my daughter, which seems to catapult the two of them into their own world.
"You'd better quiet down," Tamika murmurs sternly, rising from her leather armchair.
Indeed, the pair have captured the attention of the other lounge visitors. The dark-haired man in the tailored suit looks up from his laptop. As soon as he spots the source of the laughter, the corners of his mouth twitch upward. I don't like the delighted smirk with which he watches Maya and Sophia.
Tamika is already standing directly in front of the massage chairs. "Stop that, please. There are people here who would like to work in peace," she hisses irritably.
Suddenly, Maya's exuberant mood changes into a remorseful expression. The carefreeness on her face disappears.
"Of course." She quickly turns to Sophia, who is cowering in her chair like a frightened rabbit. "Come on, let's go for a walk. I'm sure there's a playground here somewhere."
The two of them head toward the exit. Just as they disappear from my view, Tamika takes her place next to me again. As if to calm herself, she runs her hands through her straight blond hair. "Back to business. The reactions to the concert cancelation were mixed, but all in all, you got off lightly."
"Thanks to you." It's not just what she wants to hear right now. It's the truth. If she hadn't had the press under control, my situation would be even more precarious than it already is .
A confident smile spreads across her face. And suddenly, I feel guilty that I didn't give her my full attention earlier. She fights for me like a lion. I owe it to her to fight alongside her. And ultimately to myself.
Ireland was amazing. But the sweet life must come to an end as soon as we leave this island.
"Listen, Josh," she moves a little closer to me. "I know we wanted to do this together, but I've already spoken to your doctor."
Why? And why does she spring this on me?
"Don't look at me like that. Unlike you, I worked yesterday."
If she wanted to make me feel guilty, she succeeded. Embarrassed, I lower my gaze to the fir-green carpet.
"I used my connections." Not only does pride resonate in her words, but it also has a conspiratorial undertone. "My sources have whispered to me what the jury of the International Music Awards will announce tonight."
Immediately, I lift my lids. Excitement fills me. "The shortlist?"
Her eyebrows rise. "Exactly."
In an instant, she has my full attention. A radiant smile slowly forms on her face. For a moment, I hesitate. But then I understand what she's trying to convey.
I sink back into the chair, my arms heavy. With relief, I exhale all the tension I didn't know I was holding.
Tamika grabs my upper arm. "You know what this means?"
Of course. From now on, the decision about who gets the award lies solely with the fans. If they are to vote for me, I must play for them. Plus, I need a lot of positive press. And as quickly as possible. That's why she's already contacted my doctor.
"When is the operation?" I ask because everything else is basically clear to me.
I have to take the risks that this procedure entails. After the debacle here in Dublin, I have no other choice. Trying out more medication would take too long.
"It wasn't easy, but you have an appointment with a specialist in Stockholm on the twenty-fourth of July," she explains with a satisfied expression. "He is one of the best in his field. His success rate speaks for itself."
Today is the sixteenth of July. Eight more days until the operation. A queasy feeling settles in my stomach. "What if—
"
"We don't want to think about that," Tamika interrupts me. She even manages to give me an encouraging smile. But she can't hide the sober emptiness in her gaze.
Inevitably, I remember yesterday. The world is full of wonders. We just have to be willing to see them. That's what Maya said to me on the beach. And the way she looked at me then, with that untamed strength and hearty determination, I believed her unconditionally. I could feel everywhere in my body that it was the truth. And even though things are different here, between the elegant leather sofas and the people in business attire, a bit of that belief is still within me.
I place my hand exactly where I can feel it on my chest.
"Let's do it," I say with a wide smile, although I should be trembling with fear. In my mind, I see Maya before me. A strong gust of wind drives her black hair into her face. The sea behind her is full of life. Just like her eyes, which captivate me in a way I don't want to break free from.