Chapter 33
Maya
The two days off after the concert in Tyrol did me good. I needed some distance from Josh. And Sophia must have had a great time on her trip with her kindergarten friend. At least, that's what I tell myself as I get off the bus at the stop on the edge of the Vienna Woods. There are a few hundred yards of walking ahead of me before I see Sophia again.
And Josh.
Maybe. But it's just as likely that he's too busy or caught up in some appointments. We might not even cross paths.
That would be for the best.
As long as I stay away from him, I'll be safe. I can't look into his eyes, smell the scent of his skin, or touch him. No matter how much I long for all of that, I can't give in. Not after what he did in Tyrol.
Once again, I go over the facts. Today is August fifteenth, and my employment contract ends in just over three weeks. I can make it. Somehow.
Lost in thought, I barely notice that I've arrived at the large entrance gate to Josh's estate. I enter the gravel path that winds through the avenue of maple trees to the front of his villa. The garage door is closed, and no unfamiliar cars are in the driveway.
He's here. And he has no visitors .
Great.
Taking a deep breath, I enter the house. Sophia rushes toward me. I drop my bag, walk toward her, and wrap my arms around her.
I spin her around cheerfully. "Someone is in a great mood."
Her eyes sparkle. "Because you're here. Now we can play again."
"Oh yes, that's fantastic." I put her down and let her lead me to the billiard room.
"Look at what Dad and I made yesterday." She proudly points at the half-height wooden dresser.
"Wow." That's all I manage to say. Josh and Sophia have created a whole collection of sparkling hair clips. I instantly picture them sitting together at the kitchen table, crafting. Josh's fingers covered in glitter dust. Some of it even sticking to his cheek.
"These ones are for you." She points at five particularly colorful hair clips. "Rainbow colors because you like them the most." There's so much joy in her voice. But that's not the only reason everything in me suddenly feels warm. One of the clips has a heart attached to it. Did Josh put it there for me?
"Do you like them?" Sophia tilts her head to the side, looking at me expectantly.
"They're beautiful, absolutely beautiful," I say. Then I hold her tightly in my arms. "Shall we try them right away?"
Sophia turns her attention to the neatly lined-up hair clips to choose one. I blink away the tears from the corners of my eyes. Before I can focus on the selection, Jasmin enters the billiard room. She's holding my bag between her index finger and thumb .
"Why was it lying on the floor in the entrance area?" she asks, raising an eyebrow.
I must have forgotten about it amid the joy of seeing Sophia again. "Sorry." I take the bag from her and place it on one of the fancy chairs.
"I am not your maid, miss," she says, turning around and leaving the room without giving me a chance to respond.
That's probably for the best because I wouldn't have known what to say anyway. I watch her remorsefully as she disappears from my field of vision, and just as she does, Josh appears in the hallway.
Our eyes meet. A blissful grin plays on his lips.
I want to look away, but I can't. Especially not now that he's approaching me. Faster than I can regain control, he enters the room.
"Do you like our artwork?" he asks in his soft voice.
I nod because I'm currently unable to speak. I'm too busy forcing my gaze down.
I succeed. Thank goodness.
"What is this, Maya?" Sophia suddenly wants to know.
I quickly turn to her, and it only takes a split second for me to register what's happening here.
She has taken the letter out of my bag. It arrived yesterday, but I haven't been able to open it yet.
"Put it back." I walk toward her to take the envelope from her hand, but I collide heavily with a chair that unexpectedly blocks my way. With a groan, I massage the painful spot on my hip, and I can only watch as Sophia curiously turns the letter in her hands.
"Why is it sealed?" she innocently asks. Then she hands it to Josh. "What does it say, Dad? "
No. Not this too. Now he has the envelope. I can't just snatch it from his hand. I would have to get too close to him for that.
For a moment, he furrows his brow. "It says University of Vienna, Department of Admissions Test," he reads.
Sophia gasps, covering her mouth with her hands. "The test," she whispers in awe.
"How long have you had it?" Josh approaches to hand me the envelope.
I need to stay cool; no, I have to. "It's not that important." I hastily grab the letter and take a step back.
Sophia follows me. "Open it! We want to know what's inside," she insists.
Definitely not. With tightly pressed lips, I look at Josh. Now I need his help, no matter how uncomfortable that may be.
Immediately, he turns to his daughter. "Maya and I would like a moment alone. Why don't you choose a hair clip in the meantime?"
"Only if you take one too." Sophia's eyes twinkle mischievously. She knows exactly how to get what she wants from her father.
Josh laughs. "Alright. A clip of your choice," he says, and Sophia giggles as she hops toward the table.
As soon as she's out of earshot, Josh's expression turns serious. "Should I open it for you?"
Yes.
No.
I don't know.
I stare at him, paralyzed. While my mind searches for the right answer, my hand seemingly extends the letter to him without my control. He takes it and carefully slides his finger under the adhesive flap.
The paper tears.
I feel paralyzed.
He pulls a folded sheet from the envelope and holds it to my eyes.
"Are you ready?"
No.
A loving smile graces his face. "You can do this."
No.
"Alright. Maybe tomorrow, then." His understanding nod helps me.
The sheet disappears from my sight. The pressure lessens.
I look at him in search of help. I know I won't be able to avoid it. "Tomorrow, the result will still be the same, right?"
Without answering, he hands me the folded sheet. He wants me to look at it. Maybe it's time, indeed. I take the paper and turn away, facing my back toward Josh.
With trembling fingers, I unfold the sheet.
Not sufficient.
The two words stand out in bold capital letters amid the text. I don't care about what else it says. Nothing interests me anymore. I inhale heavily, crumpling the sheet into a ball. I press the paper tightly in my palm until my knuckles turn white.
It was so clear. How could I be so foolish to think I could pass the exam?
Suddenly, a tremor courses through my entire body. Not even Josh's hand, resting comfortably on my shoulder, can change that .
My world is crumbling with a bang and a crash.
"You can try again," Josh says.
Certainly not. I spin around uncontrollably. Then I hurriedly push past him. In my peripheral vision, I see Sophia, once again fiddling with my bag. She pulls out the music box.
She better stop that right now.
Her fingers find the latch.
No. She can't!
I rush toward her, to save the box. To save myself .
The distance is too far. Sophia curiously lifts the lid. A dark gap appears. It widens.
It's about to happen.
"Stop!" I scream loudly. "Let go of that immediately." I practically throw myself at her and snatch the music box from her hand.
Gasping, I hold it tightly against my chest. Sophia looks at me in horror. And Josh's expression tells me that he's wondering who the hell I even am.
I need to get away. I don't know where. Just away.
I start running immediately, but my legs move too slowly. The checkered tiles on the floor suddenly turn slippery. As I slide uncontrollably through the hallway, I notice that Josh is chasing me.
"Give her some time. She needs to calm down," I hear Jasmin say, and I completely agree. He should definitely leave me alone.
I hurry down the entrance stairs and dash toward the rose garden. But no matter how fast I sprint, he's getting closer with every second.