Chapter 10
CHAPTER 10
NICOLE
PAST
I looked forward to Friday nights more than anything—not just because the long school week would be coming to an end, but because I’d be seeing Atticus.
I was what you’d call a good girl, for the most part— too good, some would say, a virgin who attended an all-girls’ Catholic school. I studied hard and tried my best to do the right thing. But Friday nights down in my cousin’s basement were my reward for all that. Friday nights and the weekend were my guilty pleasure.
It wasn’t just that I got to listen to my favorite drummer practice; I got to hang out with him after. I loved our chats and the way he looked at me, even if I was starting to think all hope was gone when it came to us ever being more than friends.
I’d turned eighteen three weeks ago.
I’d been holding out hope that my age was the only thing keeping Atticus from asking me out, and that maybe when I became a legal adult, he’d make a move. But we’d hung out twice since my birthday, and nothing had changed between us.
Had I been a fool, holding out for him all this time?
I tried to tell myself it was for the best since I’d be going away to college, but that didn’t help. I still only had eyes for him. My crush on Atticus Marchetti was the most insidious thing I’d ever experienced.
Finally, I decided I couldn’t take it anymore. At the end of this particular Friday night, I was going to ask Atticus out. If he rejected me, at least it would save me months of anguish waiting for him to make a move. At least I’d know where he stood.
But when I arrived at my cousin’s basement that night, I got a rude awakening: Atticus had brought a girl. I didn’t realize she was with him at first. The girl was sitting on the couch, but I’d never seen her before. A sinking feeling developed in my stomach because she was really pretty.
“Hi,” she said. “I’m Kayla.”
“I’m Nicole.”
“How do you know the guys?” she asked.
“I’m Cassius’s cousin. Who are you?”
“I’m Atticus’s date.”
Excuse me? My cheeks burned. “I didn’t…know he was dating anyone.”
“We’ve gone out a few times now, yeah.”
The room swayed as a rush of heat shot through my body. Not only did jealousy consume me, I also felt deflated given what my plans for tonight had been. How much time had I wasted over the past couple of years, fantasizing about the day he’d finally come around?
Was this my fault? Should I have told him how I felt about him sooner? Or maybe he just never felt the same about me?
Kayla and I made small talk as the guys practiced. I did a pretty good job of pretending like my world wasn’t ending. I kept my eyes fixed on Atticus’s amazing hand movements as I normally did, getting lost in the beats and crashes of the cymbals. He commanded attention even when I was pissed.
But then during a break in the music, Kayla moved to the other side of the room and sat on Atticus’s lap. She began running her fingers through his hair. It felt like my worst nightmare.
Then Julian came up to me. “Hey, how’s it going?”
“Good,” I lied, my eyes still fixed on the sight across from me.
“I called you earlier this week, but it went to your voicemail. I wanted to see if we could check out that new 3-D movie theater that opened in Brunswick.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.” I turned to him. “I didn’t know.”
Julian had been trying to date me for the past couple of years, but I never gave him the time of day. There was nothing wrong with him. He was good-looking and sweet. His only flaw was that he wasn’t Atticus Marchetti.
My cousin seized everyone’s attention when he brought down a case of beer.
Things went from bad to worse because I knew as soon as everyone started drinking, anything could happen. My imagination ran wild. Atticus could lose his inhibitions and sleep with this girl. He probably already had. Was I na?ve enough to think he hadn’t been with other girls? This was just the only time it had happened in front of my face.
I felt sick. My stomach churned. I knew I needed to leave, but felt too weak to get up.
All of a sudden, Atticus was next to me. “Are you okay?” he asked.
Refusing to look him in the eyes, I blew out a breath. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why do you ask?”
“I don’t know. You just look like something is wrong.”
I hesitated. “I think it was this…seafood I ate earlier.” Really? What the hell? I guessed that was better than telling the truth.
“Seafood?” he asked. “You’re sick to your stomach?”
“Yeah,” I murmured. “You’d better stay away so you don’t get sick, too.”
His brows drew in like he didn’t know whether to believe me, but he went back to the other side of the room.
Kayla, who’d gone to the bathroom, I assumed, returned and sat on his lap again.
That was it. I needed to conjure the strength to get the hell out of here. I forced myself up off the couch and left. An evening that had held so much promise was instead one of the worst nights of my life.